Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

You have anxiety because you worry. You worry about yourself your family. Everything is kind of crazy in your life right now. Just be here now and know that your doing the best you can in this moment. don't worry. Your an awesome person zhaylin. You are understanding and loving. Everything will turn out fine. Everything is only temporary. Whatever is hard now will pass. just do what you can to enjoy yourself and be calm and stable. Listen to music... play video games whatever. You probably already do that anyways. But really try to make the best of what you can right now rather than letting life make you anxious. it'll be ok ;)

Thanks Salty. You're a sweetheart (((((hugs)))))

Adding Seroquel stopped the yawns, but I took too much and slept ALL day.... which brings me to my rant of the day: Vasovagal response.

My son woke me up at around 3AM. Buttercup had her kittens but something was very wrong. They were all connected together and stuck to the moms foot. I went to take a look. They were VERY stuck. The foot of one kitten seemed to be going through the leg of its mom. Two kittens fell off with little effort, but the belly button area of one was bleeding a lot.
I had my son bring me some warm water and as I wet them, I noticed the problem: They still had their cords and somehow, momma managed to get it all knotted around her leg. I cut the cords with a pair of tiny sewing scissors. They were all free and mom was very happy.

I went back to my room, but I worried about the bleeder. I grabbed a Silver Nitrate stick, deciding to cauterize the wound. When I found him, his cord, was long and slimy . But he previously had no exposed cord, just a little stump. I had my son hold him, and I cut it, hoping it wasn't his guts or something. Then I cauterized the opening.

At that point, my vision started blacking out, a loud buzz filled my hearing, I grew exceptionally week/shaky, felt like vomiting.. I just stood there, waiting for it to pass, but it didn't so I stumbled back to my room. I tried explaining to my son that it was nothing serious but my words came out slurred. I fell into my chair, still feeling nauseous, so I laid in bed. I started feeling a bit better and decided to check my blood pressure. It was 87/62 with a pulse of 62. My resting pulse is normally in the high 80's/low 90's and my blood pressure is almost hypertensive.

How annoying. Like my anxiety, there is no logical excuse for such a reaction.

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Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Thanks Salty. You're a sweetheart (((((hugs)))))

Adding Seroquel stopped the yawns, but I took too much and slept ALL day.... which brings me to my rant of the day: Vasovagal response.

My son woke me up at around 3AM. Buttercup had her kittens but something was very wrong. They were all connected together and stuck to the moms foot. I went to take a look. They were VERY stuck. The foot of one kitten seemed to be going through the leg of its mom. Two kittens fell off with little effort, but the belly button area of one was bleeding a lot.
I had my son bring me some warm water and as I wet them, I noticed the problem: They still had their cords and somehow, momma managed to get it all knotted around her leg. I cut the cords with a pair of tiny sewing scissors. They were all free and mom was very happy.

I went back to my room, but I worried about the bleeder. I grabbed a Silver Nitrate stick, deciding to cauterize the wound. When I found him, his cord, was long and slimy . But he previously had no exposed cord, just a little stump. I had my son hold him, and I cut it, hoping it wasn't his guts or something. Then I cauterized the opening.

At that point, my vision started blacking out, a loud buzz filled my hearing, I grew exceptionally week/shaky, felt like vomiting.. I just stood there, waiting for it to pass, but it didn't so I stumbled back to my room. I tried explaining to my son that it was nothing serious but my words came out slurred. I fell into my chair, still feeling nauseous, so I laid in bed. I started feeling a bit better and decided to check my blood pressure. It was 87/62 with a pulse of 62. My resting pulse is normally in the high 80's/low 90's and my blood pressure is almost hypertensive.

How annoying. Like my anxiety, there is no logical excuse for such a reaction.

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That will be the nuvigil causing that. Stimulants can do it. Well, I shouldn't say it WILL be that, but it could be.
Or you may just not be eating enough which would explain the low blood pressure too.

Just reading about your life makes me anxious. Chill out lol

One of my main pet peeves is when someone is watching TV and they are like in a trance, if you say their name they don't respond. They just gaze stupidly upon the flashing screen. I can't stand this. Or when you're hanging out with someone and they want to watch a movie or TV....why do they do this? watch tv on your own schedule because your just gonna become a drone while watching it.

lol, Tommo. It was definitely vasalvagal. I've had it before. But it was made worse by the fact I had just woken up after sleeping 8 hours of sleep and 13 hours of sleep before that (I drove my daughter back to the facility- the only time I was awake and I didn't really eat or drink during that time). So, I was dehydrated and hungry which made it come on as strong as it did. I can usually just breathe through an episode. This is the first time in years that I had to actually lay down. Today, I feel residual weakness and shakiness. I'm afraid to check on the kittens.

Erible, that's one of my hubby's pet peeves too. My family does this (parents and such). Did it my whole life growing up. They use it to fill the awkward silences or to give them something to talk about.

**Edit**
The baby I doctored early in the AM is doing great. Upon inspecting the others, another had a slimy red "cord". My son held it, I sat in my chair, cut the cord and nitrated the wound. No vasovagal response this time. YAY. I ate and drank before handling it, and sitting seemed to help.
My BP and pulse took a slight dip, but that's it. *WOOT*

anytime you buy something new, something is always wrong with it, or it breaks very soon after the purchase

i swear, I'm cursed with this

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Originally Posted by erible

anytime you buy something new, something is always wrong with it

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This x10.

I'll buy some new clothes thinking they're perfectly fine and then when I get home, I'll notice loose threads or a broken button/zipper.

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Originally Posted by GavinGill

This x10.

I'll buy some new clothes thinking they're perfectly fine and then when I get home, I'll notice loose threads or a broken button/zipper.

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Dx exactly! I hate it so much!

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Originally Posted by erible

One of my main pet peeves is when someone is watching TV and they are like in a trance, if you say their name they don't respond. They just gaze stupidly upon the flashing screen. I can't stand this. Or when you're hanging out with someone and they want to watch a movie or TV....why do they do this? watch tv on your own schedule because your just gonna become a drone while watching it.

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WHAAAA? How can you hate that? It shows they are immersed in the movie, that's all. I sometimes do this too. Not just watching TV, but if I'm drawing or thinking about something. Sometimes at tafe someone would call my name and I just wouldn't notice and then another person would call my name as well because they realised I didn't notice the other person and one time like 3 people were like "TOM!" haha I noticed then.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Zhaylin

lol, Tommo. It was definitely vasalvagal. I've had it before.

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Oh, well you said there was no logical excuse for it?
But also I meant that stimulants can cause that vasovagal response too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by erible

anytime you buy something new, something is always wrong with it, or it breaks very soon after the purchase

i swear, I'm cursed with this

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Me too! New products are so annoying. I had to send a stereo back once, took them months and then they said "we'll send you a new one".
I got that and it broke too so I got a refund for a multimedia player. Within months that had broken too. I got a replacement though and it's been good.
From now on I take advantage of everything. I dropped a water proof camera in the spa once by accident and I think the usb thing might have been open.
The good thing is, I looked up on the internet and heaps of people had problems with the water proofing, so the company made a new model which was even better,
I told them my water proofing just failed lol and so they sent me the new model!
haha

That's what's good about how they advance technology quickly these days. If it breaks within 1 or 2 years which is the usual warranty period (I don't buy anything that has less warranty than 2 years) you get the new model that
is out because they don't have any more of the old ones :D

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Originally Posted by tommo

WHAAAA? How can you hate that? It shows they are immersed in the movie, that's all. I sometimes do this too. Not just watching TV, but if I'm drawing or thinking about something. Sometimes at tafe someone would call my name and I just wouldn't notice and then another person would call my name as well because they realised I didn't notice the other person and one time like 3 people were like "TOM!" haha I noticed then.


Me too! New products are so annoying. I had to send a stereo back once, took them months and then they said "we'll send you a new one".
I got that and it broke too so I got a refund for a multimedia player. Within months that had broken too. I got a replacement though and it's been good.
From now on I take advantage of everything. I dropped a water proof camera in the spa once by accident and I think the usb thing might have been open.
The good thing is, I looked up on the internet and heaps of people had problems with the water proofing, so the company made a new model which was even better,
I told them my water proofing just failed lol and so they sent me the new model!
haha

That's what's good about how they advance technology quickly these days. If it breaks within 1 or 2 years which is the usual warranty period (I don't buy anything that has less warranty than 2 years) you get the new model that
is out because they don't have any more of the old ones :D

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because it shows how unaware and easily amused people are, they just get so immersed, I hate it!

and yeah Dx but I don't usually get warranties. so that makes me more doomed
example: today I bought a new bike, I haven't for like 4 years, it was amazing, but the seat was messing up so we tightened it, the whole seat then fell off, the bolt and crap were stripped, we had to go and get new bolts and nuts and finally we got it back on D:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by erible

One of my main pet peeves is when someone is watching TV and they are like in a trance, if you say their name they don't respond. They just gaze stupidly upon the flashing screen. I can't stand this. Or when you're hanging out with someone and they want to watch a movie or TV....why do they do this? watch tv on your own schedule because your just gonna become a drone while watching it.

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Tvs have a strobe that flashs extremely fast that hypnotises who ever is watching it. This is also why your friends are so stupid erible!!!! They watch to much tv. TV makes people idiots. people watch tv and they take in the behaviors and additudes of the people in shows and it effects the way they are. Just like people who hang around certain people start to act like them. Little kids are raised in front of tv screens, they are being brainwashed to be a certain way!!!! It keeps society the way the controllers want it. I don't watch tv. I mean I'm not afraid of it or anything but I have desire to sit and zone out at a screen taking in information I don't want subconciously. It can be good though in some cases, maybe you are unstable and it helps you chill out and stablize by being detached from reality around you. But for the most part tv is not good for humanity as a whole. it is filtered information and stupidity being pushed onto the masses. It is everything that the controllers want in our minds. Not completely but for the most part it is. And for the most part it has negative effects.

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Originally Posted by saltyseedog

Tvs have a strobe that flashs extremely fast that hypnotises who ever is watching it. This is also why your friends are so stupid erible!!!! They watch to much tv. TV makes people idiots. people watch tv and they take in the behaviors and additudes of the people in shows and it effects the way they are. Just like people who hang around certain people start to act like them. Little kids are raised in front of tv screens, they are being brainwashed to be a certain way!!!! It keeps society the way the controllers want it. I don't watch tv. I mean I'm afraid of it or anything but I have desire to sit and zone out at a screen taking in information I don't want subconciously. It can be good though in some cases, maybe you are unstable and it helps you chill out and stablize by being detached from reality around you. But for the most part tv is not good for humanity as a whole. it is filtered information and stupidity being pushed onto the masses. It is everything that the controllers want in our minds. Not completely but for the most part it is. And for the most part it has negative effects.

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I agree, I don't watch it much, but I do sometimes. But not to an extent of these friends of mine.....I literally have one friend who is the same way as me and doesn't get enticed by it. They just completely zone out, I don't like when people zone out either in general....all my friends do this except me. Maybe I'm just weird.
I did some research on subliminal messages, crazy stuff

Quote:

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Originally Posted by erible

because it shows how unaware and easily amused people are, they just get so immersed, I hate it!

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Oh! ok I get where you're coming from. Yeah.

EDIT:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by erible

I don't like when people zone out either in general.

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Oh. Okay, maybe not.

Ahhh, thanks Tommo. I say there's no logical excuse for such reactions because I'm not actively pessimistic about anything. There is no worry, discomfort or fear, so WTH? I think my vasovagal reaction was mostly due to dehydration and hunger. THAT makes sense to me. Being squeamish doesn't.

I used to buy damaged stuff all the time. Now I pay attention. But if it's something small that I can take care of, then I get it anyhow (I shop mostly at Goodwill where items are often one of a kind).

Anti-rant of the day: SONY IS BACK ON-LINE *WOOT* Everquest, here I come :D

Rant of the day: everyone around me seems to be going deaf. My kids tell me I'm not speaking loud or clearly enough, but that's just not the case :roll:
Another rant: one of my kids keeps stealing my juice and soda. I think I'm going to move the fridge to my room today (it's a little thing.......) Better yet, I'll haul the bigger one out of the RV and use it :evil:

God damn it!

My mind was annoyingly hyper last night and I couldn't sleep! I even tried to make a perfect setting to make it easy to go to sleep. I drank tea that's made for encouraging sleep, read a book for an hour in bed, tried to clear my mind of thoughts except dream recall and lucidness, and my mind just couldn't shut up haha. I was getting all exited about thoughts about the future and other random things. It was the most unusual thing, I'm usually never that involved in thoughts like that. The one night I make a good effort to have good dreams and nature slaps me with her unruliness. Then finally I wake up with hardly any dream recall at all. :?

I don't tend to watch t.v. My friends are like "did you watch this last night? :armflap:" and they're always disappointed when I say "ew, no."

It always happens to be something trashy like Jersey Shore.

I do have exceptions though. I got quite into Nikita until my dad deleted it off the sky box (gaaahhhh) and I like the Simpsons. I really like Friends aswell, but not much else.

I want food.....that isn't expired

I just want food lol
I have $10. and no gas. I'll walk to Exxon soon and pick up some munchies to hold my son and I over until I get paid this evening.

That's probably why you have not enough money for food. Go to the supermarket, it's like 100x cheaper lol And there is actual food there lol

I love rain!!!! It makes me feel so peaceful and relaxed. But I'm hungry......

hehe... I don't usually buy anything other than gas there, but we were desperate. We ate donuts. In the afternoon I discovered $30. had been placed back onto the "credit card", so I bought dog food, a bit of gas and some lunch. This evening I went shopping.

My rant of the moment is busy bodies or the nosey State. While I was buying groceries (at around 9PM), a cop stopped by to ask about my 15 year old daughter and the 32 year old man she's been sleeping with. That's what the rumor mill is saying anyhow. It's what it's been saying for over a year now. There's already been an investigation- which was dropped, and now it comes up yet again? The kicker is that she's been in a juvenile facility for the last couple months. But I guess she's sneaking out and walking some 30+ miles to spend time with him *dripping sarcasm*. People seriously need to give it a rest. Anyhow, the cop spoke briefly to my 18 year old son. Most of this rant is supposition. The cop asked about my daughter and the man, then said he'd return to speak to me about it at some later time.

Another rant is my yawn's. But I have a real reason for them now. I *think* I last slept from around noon-5PM on Sunday. Nuvigil, willpower and caffeine has kept me up. The yawns- as always- get stuck. I feel like I HAVE to yawn to take a proper breath, and I start to, but it wont finish. So then I look like some snake with is mouth wide open for sometimes a full minute in order to trigger a reflex at the back of my throat so I can finish the yawn. Now have me do that every several minutes and that = one heck of a sore jaw lol. If I go to sleep now, I'll never wake up to make sure my kids go to school. Plus, I need to speak with my 15 yo's Probation Officer bright and early in the morning. She sent me an email saying she couldn't reach me. My cellphone never rang. Grrrr. Which means, my 15 yo might be having her MDT tomorrow which I need to attend. There's no telling when I'll be able to go to bed.

Another one of RoRo's kittens died. The dogs found him when I let them inside out of the rain yesterday (she's lost 2 out of 4. They're about 3 weeks old) And Buttercup lost another one of her babies. Again, it wasn't one I "doctored". The other 3 look very healthy.

Ugh... and my mothers supposed to come over tomorrow afternoon. Nothing's gotten cleaned.

And my 14 yo daughter keeps leaving all her crap in my bedroom.

Grrrr.

Okay... I guess I had more than one or two rants lol.
Now I'm off to play Everquest until I start falling asleep, then I'll get some cleaning done.

There were no cops, no mom, no MDT today *whew*. My only rant is a now dwindling headache and fatigue. I slept from around 2PM-7PM. I woke up quickly and told my son (who plays on my computer when I'm asleep) to hurry up and throw me my phone. He asked why but did when it started ringing in his hand :D My 15 yo calls on Monday and Wednesday and we talk for 10 minutes before she has to get off. My cellphone died halfway through our conversation though :(

I guess a minor rant is my lack of motivation to play EQ. Right now there's "live events" and double XP until the 23rd. I'm just not quite in the mood. I've spent hours redecorating my City of Wonder, Fantasy Kingdoms, and Gardens of Time games on Facebook though :roll:

I'm currently practicing for my exams. Upon trying to solve an old exam in one of the subjects I have this year, I found that I'm headed straight for hell. Turns out I've got no clue how to solve these kinds of excises. Crap.

Holy crap, Z. :-\