Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Dianeva I hope it's over soon!

Awesome songs, Tommo!

Aly, Not being selfish at work would be a great thing, I imagine (having never held a real job myself, lol I only CAN imagine). It might open up promotions quicker?

The trip sucked but only because I was so sick. I missed eating out that first night. My back absolutely killed me too. It helped me appreciate my desk more. The firmer the surface, the better my back feels. One night, my back hurt so much, I bowed down on the shower floor and the the water massage my back for half on hour (too bad there was no tub to use).

My first night back, I slept and woke in terrible pain. While the desk might be good for my back it kills my knees lol. I usually sleep on my side, but I had moved onto my back at some point and slept that way for too long. My knees hyperextended backward too much. If my knees hadn't told me I had slept that way for too long, my fingertip prints confirmed it. I slept with my arms across my chest, but downward over my boobs. I have no idea how it happened, but it humored me. My fingertip (entire top joint actually) prints were visible for over half an hour. But there were no markings on my boobs. How does that happen? I jumped immediately into a hot shower so perhaps the hot water somehow preserved the prints? And how were there prints to begin with with no pressure?

I'm still sick. Congested mostly with post nasal drip as always. If I take my OTC meds EVERY four hours without forgetting, I do much better.

A rave is that my eldest son strong armed me (by nagging ) into playing a game he downloaded called Terra. It's actually a very good game. A rant, however is that the lag is horrendous. I had my first death at level 15 or so simply because I was booted out of the game while fighting

Another rave is that I had a VERY strange dream this morning. But it's rated R so has to go into my DJ.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I'm so fucking pissed.

Spoiler for idk:

And I can't even fucking talk about it on here because we aren't allowed to talk about it in public and I'm paranoid that somehow this would be traced to me.

Just group work shit. The worst. Fucking. Group work shit. I've ever been a part of. I feel like this whole thing is a psychology experiment on me, and these people are actors, and I'm the test subject. This fucking controlling manipulative bitch who's throwing the most retarded fucking ideas ever at us, and leaving us to make them somewhat presentable.

I actually tried to be nice, and sort it out, by sending an e-mail I spent like 3 hours writing, stating my actual opinion. I don't know if she even read it, just responded as an ignorant bitch again, glossing over complexity and basically telling me I'm lazy and cowardly, using everything she can against me, even stuff I had explanations for, she's just ignoring the explanations. I have no fucking idea what to do now. Have a headache. I have other fucking hw to do, I don't have time to worry about this shit. And I have to meet these people tomorrow. Don't even want to fucking hear a thing from them again in my life. I feel like this is so terrible I'll end up failing the class or getting kicked out or something.

I suggest treating it like an experiment, then. Don't take her actions personally and just try to have fun with it. She probably (whether consciously or not) wants to get under your skin. When people act that way to me I just start trolling them.

I worked till half midnight on sunday night. I had to wake up for school Monday morning. I usually get off work at 9:30. Fuck's sake I still haven't properly recovered my lost sleep.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

I suggest treating it like an experiment, then. Don't take her actions personally and just try to have fun with it. She probably (whether consciously or not) wants to get under your skin. When people act that way to me I just start trolling them.

I considered treating it that way. The whole thing would be hilarious if I knew my grade wasn't dependent on everyone getting along.

Spoiler for why am i spoilering this:

A lot went down today concerning that. We met with two of the professors and talked a lot. One got really angry, sounds like my fears were more than valid, and it sounds like we may have been seriously fucked if we'd done what she'd wanted... like academic-licenses-would-be-revoked-if-this-were-an-actual-research-proposal fucked. So we're going to rush through the next few days going off a more sensible idea... even though we've had a month to do it. The person I was ranting about doesn't even know about it yet, because it was just the 3 of us meeting. I have no idea how she's going to react... but at least it's 3 against 1 now.

Di: You'll get bad grades and good grades, you'll get a job with bad days and good days, and then you'll die. And your life can be spent pleasantly or unpleasantly. Glad to hear at least things can turn around though. It's not your problems that define you but how you deal with them, after all.

Cry: Found out a friend of mine died over the weekend in a car accident. She was one of the sweetest and most caring people I've ever known. She used to work with severely mentally handicapped people. Her entire life was dedicated to love and service. And now she's dead. I went out an bought a 40 and a pack of cigarettes. God I need a bowl.

Signed up for my classes for graduate school, and I got offered a pretty great position. I'm waiting on the paperwork, anxiously, but it looks like I got the best position I could have hoped. More than the place that fired me (nearly double), and I get to do work that actually interests me. Life is getting better and better.

Well, the good feeling didn't last long.

As usual, now that it's done, I feel pretty stupid for being happy at all. This is all there is. I don't get to stay happy. I should've known better...and I did, didn't I? That urge to question everything came back and I'm not really sad about it, I don't feel like I've lost anything. Mostly I'm resigned to my weird, depressing relationship and friends who don't think enough of me to even cancel plans when they can't make it, they just don't. I suppose that's what I get for trying to form attachments. I knew better about that too but I ran straight into it, blatantly ignoring my instincts so I could cling to that tiny stupid friendship because it was all I could get. Now it's gone and I'm kicking myself for hoping that this time could be different.


Alright,I'm going to bed. This is stupid.
Maybe I'll dream something nice.

I'm sooo excited about going for higher studies.
I have exactly one year to prepare for the entrance exam, which I heard is quite tough.. But I'm sure I can handle it.. And it's totally worth it!
Had a talk with a senior from my school who is currently doing the same course in the university I'm trying to get into. He was very supportive.
Lol..I just realized how much I miss studying!

Spoiler for Women only rant :

What's with the new maxi pads from always?....they say they absorb in seconds...yes that's good but i don't feel that i need to change in my heavy days because they absorb fast which means it's worse because it can cause to leak when i don't feel it needs to be changed, which leads to leaks....and it says it's a leak locker and is secure...ya right. smh

I went to a theme park with some friends today. And we suddenly saw Alex Agnew walking by, he's a famous belgian comedian. Who recently quit his job to focus on his metal band.
We had a nice little chat and asked for a picture with him

Originally Posted by tommo

Heh, I'm definitely going to cut down. I'm only going to have a glass or two tonight.

We didn't have any aspirin so I drank some coffee and tea and took one of those Alpha Brain pills. Seemed to clear up the hangover really well, but I felt weird.
Especially as I was driving to work, felt like I was on the precipice of getting that feeling you get before a panic attack, but I never got one.
Not sure what to make of that. Maybe it was just a similar feeling, I'm glad I didn't panic at the thought of panicking though haha

I can think of a couple possible reasons.... One is that cat's claw (the "AC-11" in Alpha Brain) has MAO-B inhibition properties, which means it should enhance the effects of coffee. It's probably not the best thing to mix with it, either, though I don't know how strong it really is.... It also has mild psychedelic and dissociative qualities. You could have been feeling something along the lines of mild come-up anxiety, without ever reaching any full effect. I wonder how much is used in those pills?

Originally Posted by tommo

Oh and Aly, with the not wanting to say no thing.... I was like that as well, it didn't help that they tried to guilt me as well when I thought about saying no.
Eventually it became much easier when I really didn't want to work, but think of it like motivation to work. If you get too comfortable with saying no, then
you're gonna start saying no anytime you feel like just going home and chilling. Which isn't good. Just use it as motivation to work and be more active etc.

I suppose so.... It makes sense. >w< *sigh* It's not like the end of the world or anything... I just wish they would focus on someone else instead of me for a while lol. So I guess really I just wish other people would work harder. >.>

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Aly, Not being selfish at work would be a great thing, I imagine (having never held a real job myself, lol I only CAN imagine). It might open up promotions quicker?

I can certainly see that, but I don't know if I really want to get promoted at a job like this. X) It would just keep me around longer and I really only want this to be temporary, plus as a delivery driver I already make like twice as much or more as the managers from tips.... It's a sweet gig, I don't know why anyone chooses manager over driver honestly.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

Cry: Found out a friend of mine died over the weekend in a car accident. She was one of the sweetest and most caring people I've ever known. She used to work with severely mentally handicapped people. Her entire life was dedicated to love and service. And now she's dead. I went out an bought a 40 and a pack of cigarettes. God I need a bowl.

I'm so sorry to hear that. My condolences go out to her family and other friends.... There really is no such thing as fair.

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Signed up for my classes for graduate school, and I got offered a pretty great position. I'm waiting on the paperwork, anxiously, but it looks like I got the best position I could have hoped. More than the place that fired me (nearly double), and I get to do work that actually interests me. Life is getting better and better.

I'm really happy for you! I hope things continue on that trend!

Originally Posted by Anju

I'm sooo excited about going for higher studies.
I have exactly one year to prepare for the entrance exam, which I heard is quite tough.. But I'm sure I can handle it.. And it's totally worth it!
Had a talk with a senior from my school who is currently doing the same course in the university I'm trying to get into. He was very supportive.
Lol..I just realized how much I miss studying!

I really wish I had your attitude lol. Good luck!!

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Rave: I tried to think if I had something to rant about and nothing really comes to mind... life is pretty incredible right now. I'm overwhelmed. As you may be aware, I'm a very physical person.... The way my body feels is highly reflective of my state of mind, and vice-versa. Especially when it comes to things such as love and lust, I experience things pretty strongly. I can reach some pretty ridiculous body highs from simply fantasizing, not even being with someone, or masturbating, or anything like that... just visualizing.... What I'm used to from feeling really attached to someone (whether in an emotional or physical way) is getting to a point where all my erogenous zones flare up intensely and spread warmth throughout my body and outward, and I thought that that was significant... but with this girl, it's on a whole new level.... It's like a full-body experience that blows everything else out of the water. It's an unbelievable feeling, and so much more emotional and transcendental than anything else.... I'm really in the deep end here. I want to be with this girl forever. And the best part is, she feels the same way about me.... I don't even know how to express how awesome I'm feeling right now.

Argh, I gotta go to a family dinner now... so that's it for the moment. >w<

I feel so blurgh and feel so shitty about it because I know others have it worse than me so why am I feeling so fucking shitty when I'm alive and have friends what the fuck is that all about?!

Went back to a meet up that I used to go to and it made me feel a bit better. I felt like I belonged somewhere again/ For an hour, things were good. I hate feeling so wrong.

Originally Posted by Anju

I'm sooo excited about going for higher studies.
I have exactly one year to prepare for the entrance exam, which I heard is quite tough.. But I'm sure I can handle it.. And it's totally worth it!
Had a talk with a senior from my school who is currently doing the same course in the university I'm trying to get into. He was very supportive.
Lol..I just realized how much I miss studying!

That's awesome! Good luck

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I can think of a couple possible reasons.... One is that cat's claw (the "AC-11" in Alpha Brain) has MAO-B inhibition properties, which means it should enhance the effects of coffee. It's probably not the best thing to mix with it, either, though I don't know how strong it really is.... It also has mild psychedelic and dissociative qualities. You could have been feeling something along the lines of mild come-up anxiety, without ever reaching any full effect. I wonder how much is used in those pills?

Huh.... did not know that. I was thinking more that I was hungover, but no longer tired/brain dead etc. but still had some balance issues. So it just felt weird.
But I guess that would make sense.
It says 350mg of "ac-11" so who knows what that translates to in terms of cat's claw, or even if their extract contains whatever causes those psychedelic/dissociative etc. effects from cat's claw.

I'm not going to take that regularly anymore though (took it past 4 days). I've been getting occasional short bursts of tinnitus from it, and also sometimes that went to decreased hearing (both only lasted for a few seconds). I think it may be due to either the increased bloodflow in the head/brain, or, IIRC Vinpoectine's calcium-ion channel activity, since I sometimes get the same thing if I take aspirin too many days in a row.

Gonna stick with the Piracetam and Aniracetam. Excited to try them, took a 1/4 or so dose of Piracetam this morning just to make sure it's good quality and doesn't kill me lol
I don't wanna wait to take a proper dose, it was awesome last time. I guess if I take it later on in the day I will have better dreams though as well, so I'll wait

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Rave: I tried to think if I had something to rant about and nothing really comes to mind... life is pretty incredible right now. I'm overwhelmed. As you may be aware, I'm a very physical person.... The way my body feels is highly reflective of my state of mind, and vice-versa. Especially when it comes to things such as love and lust, I experience things pretty strongly. I can reach some pretty ridiculous body highs from simply fantasizing, not even being with someone, or masturbating, or anything like that... just visualizing.... What I'm used to from feeling really attached to someone (whether in an emotional or physical way) is getting to a point where all my erogenous zones flare up intensely and spread warmth throughout my body and outward, and I thought that that was significant... but with this girl, it's on a whole new level.... It's like a full-body experience that blows everything else out of the water. It's an unbelievable feeling, and so much more emotional and transcendental than anything else.... I'm really in the deep end here. I want to be with this girl forever. And the best part is, she feels the same way about me.... I don't even know how to express how awesome I'm feeling right now.

Argh, I gotta go to a family dinner now... so that's it for the moment. >w<

So much envy. Congrats Good to see you happy.

________________

Rant: I've been trying to apply for the bachelor of science but thing keep blocking me and it's frustrating as hell.
Last year there was the government taking away funding, so I couldn't afford it.
Now I look for other ways to get in, but the short courses in university have prerequisites as well, for some of them.
So I look to do VCE again (that's year 12 subjects), but they tell me today that for Chemistry and Maths I need to do the year 11 subjects first!
So it would take me 2 years just to get the prerequisites to even have a chance of getting in to BSc!
Total bullshit. I could learn all the year 11 stuff on Khan Academy in a couple of months.

So now I'm looking at an online university which I am pretty sure doesn't have any entry requirements, because they can accept as many people as they want.
I really hope this will allow me to get in, the university's website says you can do single courses at the online university to get in to BSc, I've e-mailed the university to see which courses to take, so.... just wait and hope now.

Related rant is that university websites are among the worst in the world. They need some serious information collation and navigation overhauls. I don't know who the hell they hire to make their websites, but they should be able to afford someone better. So many infinite loops.... FUUUUUUUUUU!

Originally Posted by tommo

Related rant is that university websites are among the worst in the world. They need some serious information collation and navigation overhauls. I don't know who the hell they hire to make their websites, but they should be able to afford someone better. So many infinite loops.... FUUUUUUUUUU!

I feel like like they do it on purpose because they want to make people do work just to find information. Just finding out what courses I need to take is always troublesome and requires hours of work with like 15 different tabs open. It's almost like they want you to be intimidated or something. If it was all easy-to-use it might seem unprofessional. Or maybe there really is so much information that it's almost impossible to organize it all consistently. There might be so many possible ways of organizing it and they had to go with the one that will help most people. The most convenient organization method for you might seem disorganized to someone else who's already a student and is looking up information from that perspective for example.

------

I haven't drunk any alcohol (besides 2 glasses of wine) in almost 3 weeks. I've switched to doing something else whenever I feel I need to relax on the weekends, something that doesn't add calories as long as I can manage to keep my mind off food... lol. And I've already started losing weight. Plus I feel like my mind is growing sharper. I don't know whether that's from school or the lack of drinking but it feels really nice. I was starting to think I was just mentally declining due to being past 22 or so, and it would only go downhill.

It was a drunk driver: Female pedestrian struck by car Saturday in Denver dies; driver held - The Denver Post

I can't even make the funeral. I can't fucking stand this. I already lost Karen just a few fucking months ago. This shit's supposed to happen when I'm fucking 70, not 24.

#1: Crap. Got a bad eBay transaction again. Bought another DSLR camera and the sensor stabilizer is fucked up, causing the image to be off center and crooked. I sent the guy a return request and he is arguing with me about how the camera took perfect pictures at some event he did just a few days ago. I put it in cleaning mode and removed the lens and I can clearly see that the sensor is not in the right place compared to my other camera of the same model. ...oh well. I guess it will turn into a claim with customer service if need be.

#2: My poor old truck needs some help very soon. The pinion seal in the rear diff popped the other day and it started puking out gear oil all over the driveway. I really should tear the truck about halfway apart and repair/replace everything that needs to be done before winter. I can't do snownuts without it!

Originally Posted by tommo

Related rant is that university websites are among the worst in the world. They need some serious information collation and navigation overhauls. I don't know who the hell they hire to make their websites, but they should be able to afford someone better. So many infinite loops.... FUUUUUUUUUU!

Lol I'm experiencing the same. The homepage is always filled with unnecessary crap, while important stuff like course electives and exam dates are hidden deep inside..

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I feel like like they do it on purpose because they want to make people do work just to find information. Just finding out what courses I need to take is always troublesome and requires hours of work with like 15 different tabs open. It's almost like they want you to be intimidated or something. If it was all easy-to-use it might seem unprofessional. Or maybe there really is so much information that it's almost impossible to organize it all consistently. There might be so many possible ways of organizing it and they had to go with the one that will help most people. The most convenient organization method for you might seem disorganized to someone else who's already a student and is looking up information from that perspective for example.

[QUOTE=Dianeva;2058107]Yeah, I dunno what it is. But for example I want to find what I need to enter a course. It says "check this page" with a hyperlink, so I go there and instead of the page for that course, it takes me to the generic page for entry requirements. How does that help? And from there you can't find any more information.
I really think they just suck, rather than it being on purpose.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I haven't drunk any alcohol (besides 2 glasses of wine) in almost 3 weeks. I've switched to doing something else whenever I feel I need to relax on the weekends, something that doesn't add calories as long as I can manage to keep my mind off food... lol. And I've already started losing weight. Plus I feel like my mind is growing sharper. I don't know whether that's from school or the lack of drinking but it feels really nice. I was starting to think I was just mentally declining due to being past 22 or so, and it would only go downhill.

That's good. Well, the sharpness of mind. You're already a good weight, don't need to lose any.

I figured out the reason I felt the same way as you did, thinking I was mentally declining. It was the Xanax. Which is also a GABA agonist like alcohol.
This stuff really isn't good for you. But goddamn, I love it. I'm trying to quit though too, we'll see how it goes. Almost 3 glasses of wine tonight in 1.5 hours....
Better than usual though. I think this Piracetam will help.

Goddamn I ramble when I'm drunk.... AHHRHRedffd

Originally Posted by Original Poster

It was a drunk driver: Female pedestrian struck by car Saturday in Denver dies; driver held - The Denver Post

I can't even make the funeral. I can't fucking stand this. I already lost Karen just a few fucking months ago. This shit's supposed to happen when I'm fucking 70, not 24.

Fucking asshole.... That's one thing I would never do is drive while drunk. He survived right? (I never follow random links on the internet anymore). The drunk moron always survives.... ugh

________

I had a funny but also weird moment with the girl tonight. She was being weird and not gonna explain everything but I was holding her trolley and asking what's wrong with her today and she was like "just let me go!". She said it a few times and I was like "I'm not even holding it" (just had my hand on it but not force".

It was like a metaphor, and it was kind of amazing. Like she was literally saying to let her go, but I was saying she's staying because she wants to.
haha. God damn....

So, so sorry about your friend, OP.
And yeah, Tommo, the driver "walked" away. She was arrested on the spot. I've not learned my lesson yet about clicking on links. If I trust the source (like regulars here) I just click on it. If I'm uncertain, I copy the link then run it by google and see if the site advisor has anything to say.

Crap. I have to run to my Dr.'s appointment and I'm still not dressed lol.

Caaan annyybooody fiiind meeeeee, somebody to looove.

I didn't realize this song was nearly 8 minutes long. ._.

I can't talk to people about sad things they're going through. It makes me really sad and then I cry. Something's gone wrong.

I recently had a breakthrough with depression. I tried some illicit stuff, and since then, I haven't gone into my dark hole of despair. I have even tried my depression triggers, and nothing. I like this a lot.

WishfulThinker
I can't talk to sad people either but that's because I'm a "fixer". I can't handle other peoples emotions so I switch into "go" mode. I fidget, organize, clean. I can listen. I'm a great Devil's Advocate. But for real grief? Forget it.

AnderJ, hope the camera situation gets worked out painlessly. I can't remember the last time I bought or sold anything on eBay. Seems like too much work now-a-days lol. I need to get my car worked on too. But nothing as drastic as your truck. I just need to sand and paint the rear where I backed into a wall. Winter's coming... and lots of salt. It needs to be done before then or my body will rust apart *sigh*

Aly, really? The drivers do that much better than management? Wow. I wouldn't want a promotion either lol. Start slacking, missy

Great pic, Crashyy Who's who? Are you in it?

Hathor, sounds terrible. Have you tried the cups like "instead"? They take some getting use to but they're pretty awesome.
Squeamish girly stuff below in white text.
They can get your finger quite bloody if your not used to using them. But the secret is to bear down, like during a bowel movement, before you take it out. It empty's into the toilet when you do that. You can use the same cup all day by doing that too I can't afford them but I should use them exclusively. Tampons make me sick if I use them for too long (They give me a headache and make me very nauseous). But pads are out of the question. I could never feel comfortable wearing them.

Amurehna Hope you've been having great dreams.

My rant is that my back hurts. Again. It's period related and Celexa is supposed to take care of that But it might have if I hadn't missed 3 days. Maybe the meds have to stay at a constant level for a long time to properly shield me against my period pain Furthermore, my ovaries aren't located in my back. So how do they cause such pain there?! My p-doc said, if he remembered correctly, is that the pain has to do with hormone levels making the ligaments in the back more lax which is great for child birth but bad for pain. I had ranted retorically (sp!) and was surprised when he answered lol. I guess that makes sense, but it's still stupid.
Stupid period. Stupid back pain

I'm also ranting now over that game my son got me into. When I play games such as that, the world around me ceases to exist. I've only been playing for 3 days and I'm already almost level 30. I've done over 200 quests.
I have no life I'm going to have to start setting a timer or something. My book and crocheting projects have gone untouched. I never clean. I need to start being productive!!!! (but I don't wanna)

Ugh... and I'm already stressing about driving to New Orleans in a couple of weeks. We leave on the 13 and come back on the 23. Or something like that. I don't know the exact details because things don't quite add up. We only have a room down there for 4 days. It's not going to be a 24 hour drive is it? I made it back from Estes Park, Colorado in 24 hours once- in the RV. But I was more of a speed demon back then...
My daughter is officially dropping out of college and coming home on the 11th. I have to pick her up. She's wiring me $50. for the gas tank and she's going to buy groceries for the time I'm away which will be a tremendous help... but I feel guilty for accepting the help. Even though she and the boys will be the only ones here to eat the groceries.
Ugh.
Once we get down there it will be great. I haven't had beignets since... sheesh, 2001? And I'm curious to see if Commander's Palace is still around and as excellent as ever.

When you realize during period time....and cramps and back pain starts.....back pain is worse AFTER you had a baby! And it's on that epidermal area O_o

lol, Hathor. My deliveries were always very fast. I was in hard labor with my first son for only about 30 minutes. Each child, afterwards, took longer because I became more inactive after each pregnancy lol. That seemed to really be the key. I rode my bike, with my first, almost every day until my last month of pregnancy. After that I was chasing rugrats but that's about it
Anyhow... I never had time for an epideral. And with my last kid, I had stomach labor. I was like WHAT THE HECK IS THIS CRAP?! I always had back labor before then. I guess I'm wired a bit oddly. I know it's not uncommon, but it's still strange to me

I've been researching period back pain. I'm 39 years old. You'd think I'd be past this by now lol (not having one but being curious about it).