Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

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Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

is it me or has the activity level on this forum dropped drastically within the past month?

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From my experience, I've noticed that each summer there is a influx of activity from otherwise busy users who post frequently for a few weeks and then slowly dissipate into the void. But I haven't been that active for the past few weeks due to a series of attention/time-consuming real life events, so I guess I shouldn't be talking.

Anyway, my cat had some kind of dental problem (infected gums) that required a few of his fangs to be removed. Now he has trouble chewing dry food, so I have to feed him the wet (and more expensive) kind multiple times throughout the day, which is becoming more and more of a problem as I continue to get busier due to work. We've been through so much together, and he means the world to me, but I really don't want him to suffer because I can't get home to feed him frequently enough... Right now I'm having a friend stop by my place every now and then to open up another can of food, but I know he can't keep it up as he has a job and responsibilities of his own to take care of.

I know that we're going to have to part ways soon, and it makes me unimaginably sad to think about it, but I have to make sure that he gets to the best home possible. And right now, that place isn't with me. :(

I just finished typing out an email that I was going to send to my professor - I was going to ask if we could reschedule my exam due to my declining health - and before hitting "send," I clicked "save draft." I thought it would save what I typed so I could look it over and edit it later if need be, but instead it just moved his initial email to my "draft box"... Everything I typed out was gone though.

what the FUCK

What the hell is the point of draft box if it won't even save drafts of you goddamn message? I spent half an hour typing it all out, making sure I was making as convincing a case for myself as possible but FSHIUHIUWEHGRJKBGJKG FUCK

I'm npt even in thje fucking mood to study anymore, there's no way i'll be able to concentrate on that now... >_________________________________________________ ________>"

I wish everyone would go away.

Was talking to the girl about her country and stuff and asked if they have arranged marriages, she said yeah sometimes they do, and I asked if her parents wanted to and she didn't really give a concrete answer, but she said they want her to get married in the next 2 years.

This isn't really a personal rant, just seriously WHAT THE FUCK!? I hate the institution of marriage in the first place, the whole idea is absurd for me, it's just leftover Catholic bullshit, but having arranged marriages is even more absurd. I mean.... who the fuck would want to do that? And why would you do that to your kid? "Here spend the rest of your life with someone you've just met today, cool?"

*sigh*....

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Originally Posted by tommo

I hate the institution of marriage in the first place, the whole idea is absurd for me, it's just leftover Catholic bullshit, but having arranged marriages is even more absurd. I mean.... who the fuck would want to do that? And why would you do that to your kid? "Here spend the rest of your life with someone you've just met today, cool?

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That's the kind of thing you'd end up breaking up over eventually anyway, unless she doesn't actually want to do it and is willing to disobey her parents. So at least something good has come of her not being into you, saving you a lot of pain later.

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Originally Posted by tommo

Was talking to the girl about her country and stuff and asked if they have arranged marriages, she said yeah sometimes they do, and I asked if her parents wanted to and she didn't really give a concrete answer, but she said they want her to get married in the next 2 years.

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Yeah, it's kinda complicated. My parents and relatives say I should get married within the next 3 years. To them, it's perfectly normal, they see nothing wrong with it because that's just how they were raised.

I'm obviously not going along with their plans, but it's a lot harder than simply saying no. You kind of have to start dismantling and separating from this... power structure of sorts that exists in most Indian families, and you need to start doing it early. If you wait too long, it catches the family off guard and they react to it in a negative way. The girls usually have a harder time "unplugging" from that "system" than the guys do.

I know that probably doesn't make much sense but I'm not sure how else I could explain it. It's a tough situation to be in, something that you can't really fully grasp unless you were actually raised by a traditional Indian family. That whole system of thought was one of the main reasons I wished I was white when I was younger. =/

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

That's the kind of thing you'd end up breaking up over eventually anyway, unless she doesn't actually want to do it and is willing to disobey her parents. So at least something good has come of her not being into you, saving you a lot of pain later.

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Heh, as I said, wasn't really a personal rant. Just purely ranting about the whole marriage/arranged marriage thing. But you are right, thankyou.

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Originally Posted by GavinGill

Yeah, it's kinda complicated. My parents and relatives say I should get married within the next 3 years. To them, it's perfectly normal, they see nothing wrong with it because that's just how they were raised.

I'm obviously not going along with their plans, but it's a lot harder than simply saying no. You kind of have to start dismantling and separating from this... power structure of sorts that exists in most Indian families, and you need to start doing it early. If you wait too long, it catches the family off guard and they react to it in a negative way. The girls usually have a harder time "unplugging" from that "system" than the guys do.

I know that probably doesn't make much sense but I'm not sure how else I could explain it. It's a tough situation to be in, something that you can't really fully grasp unless you were actually raised by a traditional Indian family. That whole system of thought was one of the main reasons I wished I was white when I was younger. =/

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I was hoping you may be able to give some insight, even though India and Sri Lanka are different, I think they are pretty similar in this way.
Makes sense why she answered that way then.

I do kind of get it, but yeah I probably wouldn't fully understand since my family is basically the complete opposite.

How marriage is like....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCXtu_nLVCc

Not all marriages are awful or forced or any of that stuff. You guys all seem really hard on it, and it's just... Eh. Marriage is great if you've got the right partner and you both are willing to work out problems and not let them build up. Not perfect by any means, but good.

Just saying.

People change...after marriage. The right person doesn't have to change...if they do then they aren't the one. Take more time before you marry.

I was forced to live on this planet. It wasn't my choice.

I guess I gotta deal with it.

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Originally Posted by GrannyPigms

I was forced to live on this planet. It wasn't my choice.

I guess I gotta deal with it.

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How do you know this?

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Originally Posted by NewArtemis

Not all marriages are awful or forced or any of that stuff. You guys all seem really hard on it, and it's just... Eh. Marriage is great if you've got the right partner and you both are willing to work out problems and not let them build up. Not perfect by any means, but good.

Just saying.

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I wasn't really being "hard" on marriage. I just don't like the idea. It's just such an institutionalised thing. And that kind of stuff makes me sick.
No problem with anyone spending the rest of their life with someone else. That's beautiful and lovely. But.... well it goes along with the whole seriousness of everything mentality which is so pervasive because of dogmatic and fundamentally punishment-driven religions, but which is also taking on its own form in modern culture due to corporations.

As Alan Watts once said "I imagine these people soon walking around with a sign saying "Do Not Fold, Bend Along This Line"

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Originally Posted by Micael

How do you know this?

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Heard of Occam's Razor before? He could assume he was not conscious, didn't exist before he was born, since nothing was experienced or remembered. Or he could go off on all sorts of tangents wondering if maybe he was some soul floating around around, or part of some universal consciousness or primordial energy soup.... etc.

I mostly try to stay pretty Buddhist Zen about most things but I fucking hate my ex-wife right now. Just when I thought maybe we could get along and work together towards raising our two girls she goes and does this. For the second time now she has called in on my wife claiming she is being abusive to our son. If I had the slightest bit suspension that my wife was being abusive in anyway I would step in and put and put a stop to it. The truth is, she worships that baby like no one I have ever seen. Pure love there. Just because we actually discipline the girls and try to teach them to be responsible adults my oldest turns against us and exaggerates to no end. It seems being a lier is genetic (her mothers side. I have many stories). So instead of confronting me like any normal grown adult my ex files a false complaint. Gee, I think that's a crime all by itself. The only reason anyone takes her seriously is because she is a cop... all that cop brotherhood bullshit can go to fuck. So of course, we get investigated and come out squeaky clean... again. How many times until they realize this is all a bunch of bullshit? I have never been so hurt in all my life. Only ones own flesh and blood can cut this deep. I can't punish her because the last time I talked to her about this, I tried getting across how hurtful this all is. The guy told me I can't do that. It wasn't them the said this but I did a little investigating myself. It's not hard to read between the lines. It's to the point that I don't even want my own daughter staying with me anymore. Because her and my wife butt heads she plays this game to get back at her and I'm caught in the middle. God help me.

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Originally Posted by Micael

How do you know this?

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Well, I believe that life deals me my cards. But I can play them however I want.

Welp, the car is totaled. TBH I'm happy about this, well, happier than getting it repaired in any case. Would have been $10k+. Would have been much happier if I didn't have to deal with any of this, but that's not the way it went. What really sucks is we paid off the car two or three months ago. jkfdlangjkbweuidnmvcx. PAID OFF. Shit.

Anyways. Insurance called today, and in addition to telling us the car was totaled said they're not paying for the rental car past Sunday. Lol. We're not going to delay on getting a car at all, but they'll pay for the rental as long as we need it. Because we wouldn't be in this situation if their customer hadn't hit us. I hate sleazy businesses. Need to get all our stuff out of the car by Monday, but the place closes for the weekend at 12 tomorrow. :roll:

On a more positive note, I had a tiny random DILD last night and I made an 85 on my chem exam when the average was a 60, so go me. Tomb Raider is fun. We're going to get a new (used? New-used?) car. So... yeah. If next month is as bad as this month I'm going to go crazy.

Well,...it's legit...he's leaving me. So i play this song for him while he leaves. We both agree, he needs to be free now and so do i. After all those times, the times i had dreams that you were mad, and frustrated at me, all those dreams that you left me for another girl...i guess it's true, you will find someone else...but the difference is, you won't tell me you will find someone else or have someone else in mind....but my dreams never lie...but i see thru your lies. I seen you many times with other girls...that is what you want, to be free. So let it be, let fate be, life is fate and fate is life...let it go and life will become better.
Today makes 1 month since i last had a bad dream of my hubby....all in DJ.
Definitely my "ex-husband future-listening-to-happy-he-gone" type song when ever im alone i will listen to this and remember...how glad i'm not with him anymore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1f4R3owxkI

It's all karma... Build good karma no matter what. It will get better.

Damn hathor, sorry :blue:

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Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Damn hathor, sorry :blue:

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No need, we need it. Better to leave, than cheat. We are leaving because we gave our all, and nothing has come from it...it's a sign to move on. We both feel the same and leaving this way is the best way.

Well, it is certain. It's done. We talked about shit on fb and it's all alright. We didn't directly address anything, more just relating to the comment that douchebag manager said and she told me some other stuff too. Tbh it is GOOD. I am happy and relieved.

Yesterday when I thought she did like me, I did some thinking and realised that 1- the love isn't there for me, not really. She's pretty as hell and we have similar interests, but it's just not the way I've felt about other girls. 2- I only really thought about her seriously when I thought she liked me. So it was likely just the needing to be loved thing. And 3- the stress from not knowing what the fuck was going on was probably misinterpreted as lust. Oh and also 4- a few days ago I was talking to another girl from work who is super attractive, and I thought even then that it's possible I don't even like her, since I was basically "flirting" with that girl, and now it's confirmed.

I feel happy as shit, we talked all day on facebook, we're on the same page, she's an awesome person, now I just hope we can be good friends, although my conversational skills IRL still need a lot of work haha! :D And I still need to get a handle on this love bullshit, obviously I have no idea what I actually want. It's also possible I still have no idea about this, but all the conclusion seem to make sense, so fuck it.

We aren't sticking it into our faces and dancing and saying "ahahaaaa! im leaving you ahahaaaa!" No...it's legit respectfully....but still he's doing the littlest things now so i can hate him even more and leave no feelings left behind. It's all in the D'LO...like his tattoo on his arm written "D'LO". (down low).

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Originally Posted by tommo

Well, it is certain. It's done. We talked abou....

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I really should report him. The company has an anonymous reporting website that I could use over Tor. Seriously it just pisses me off. I need to make him suffer.

Am I missing something here tommo? What part did the manager play in this?

I'm sorry to hear about it and hope it settles down soon. Even if they're mad at you, it won't last forever, and if you just continue treating them politely and try not to cause more 'drama' then it's not as if they'd be able to keep up that attitude, and they'd eventually start treating you normally again. If they're going to stay mad at you for no reason and listen to gossip then fuck them anyway.

You were so worried for weeks about finding a new job, and you finally have, but instead of celebrating the awesomeness of finally having a job you immediately found a different problem to stress over.

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I'm not drunk, nor high... not really. I did take half a sleeping pill that raelly makes me feel strange. Last night..... fuck lol. I was an idiot, ended up cross-faded and puked everything I ate. I enjoy feeling like this even though I'm kinda disoriented.

I guess lately it's been feeling more and more pointless to write stuff in this thread. I've been trying to force myself upon raelizing I haven't in a while, then I start typing and feel like I'm always either just (A) complaining about stuff I'm exaggerating in my head while writing the post so I'm kind of lying about how important it really is or (B) expressing problems that are way too personal and which I shouldn't be writing this on here anyway.

i.... may have overreacted. lol. I dunno i guess she just needed a day maybe. she asked me why i didnt go on break and stuff and we talked for a while again. I think its alright, and shes been bringing it up a couple of times in a more or less nonchalant , comedical way. like we "no wonder ppl think were dating lol" so it's good. But she does keep clarifying things a couple of times too like "when I do [some thing]it doesn't mean anything" etc and I'm just like lol it's cool dw.... But I spose that is a good thing really, would have been good for some of my other friendships with women lol

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

Am I missing something here tommo? What part did the manager play in this?

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Oh sorry, some moron manager said to her "are you two bf an gf?". Which is what made all of this start in the first place really. That's why she wasn't talking as much to me I think in the past 2 weeks or so.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I'm sorry to hear about it and hope it settles down soon. Even if they're mad at you, it won't last forever, and if you just continue treating them politely and try not to cause more 'drama' then it's not as if they'd be able to keep up that attitude, and they'd eventually start treating you normally again. If they're going to stay mad at you for no reason and listen to gossip then fuck them anyway.

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Good advice. This is basically what I realised and did, was gonna try to resolve it more but waited till I was sober and not angry and it's all alright now.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

You were so worried for weeks about finding a new job, and you finally have, but instead of celebrating the awesomeness of finally having a job you immediately found a different problem to stress over.

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Haha yeah I know, I guess it is just in my nature. I'm working on it though. I'm a lot better than just a year or so ago :)

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I guess lately it's been feeling more and more pointless to write stuff in this thread. I've been trying to force myself upon raelizing I haven't in a while, then I start typing and feel like I'm always either just (A) complaining about stuff I'm exaggerating in my head while writing the post so I'm kind of lying about how important it really is or (B) expressing problems that are way too personal and which I shouldn't be writing this on here anyway.

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That's good though, just means your life is fairly good, but you're probably addicted to DV lol. I wouldn't worry about personal things, were all family here :D