Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Original Poster

So Friday was the memorial, Saturday was the funeral. It was rough.

i feel you.
been to 2 funerals in last 9 yrs.

I am in a bit of a depression hole today despite having a pretty good two weeks. Ah well...

didn't go to interview, i am fed up of fake interviews just to waste my bus fare once again.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

So Friday was the memorial, Saturday was the funeral. It was rough.

*hugs*

Spoiler for Old women rant:

I managed to get the sign-in bonus on time for the renewal later on in the months, but the thing that bothered me is.

Older women here in College Station, they're are like so honest it's scary. Not like typical old people telling the obvious, but telling the inner depths of their minds kind of honest. Can't really describe it. The real estate is saturated with women dominating the company...anyway, I get informed that the money will come in later in a week to 30 days or so.

I was happy about that, because that's less cash I need to worry about saving up for, and the obviously risk with sign-in bonus is just committing to the new lease and all. But the part that bothered me the most is how even though they try to put this off as joking around with me, I can't help but feel if I was sexualized just now or they're just greedy.

Okay so here's how it went.

Female #1: As for the sign-in bonus, you'll receive that within 30 days, but usually, it might arrive with a week.

Me: Okay. :3

Female #2: *gets ready to walk into another office* And maybe he can all buy us lunch!

Female #1 and #2 in unison: HAAHAHAH CACKLE!!

Now right there, I would've just thought it was funny myself, but then Female #1 comes in.

Female #1: Yes! Yes! That really does sound like a good idea!

Me: *fake laugh* heh ehehehe

.____.

You gain so much money from a perfect region where there's bound to be students constantly looking for apartments to rent, and you want a person to use their sign-in bonus to buy you lunch? I know I should just take the joke lightly, but it's kind of messed up.

I don't really say this to women in general, but that was a bitch move.

Spoiler for Older women in general:

And like, I'm starting to notice that older women at this university, like 40-60+, eye-rape you when you're not looking, and they STILL look at you for a good 5 seconds. I remember trying to figure out what snack I was going to buy in the store while I was waiting for laundry, and this woman, is literally 5 inches from kissing me.

She just strolls her cart, looks at me like a hawk, and while I notice this with my peripheral vision, I tried to just keep looking around, I'm suddenly phased out for a bit looking like an idiot, and I noticed she's still looking at me when she's awkwardly way too close to me.

She doesn't even say "Excuse me" or anything like that. I mean, there's nothing sexual about it obviously, it just creeps me out. I just hate it when older people are so blind, blocking traffic in the store, and I'm waiting for them, then a person behind me is waiting for both of us to move.

Then it gets REALLY DAMN ANNOYING WHEN THEY DON'T GET THE HINT, and they slowly REACH their arthritis-tic hands to get a paper for their grocery list, then get their glasses in focus, and now I have to go alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way to the end of the aisle and alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way back just to get what I could've gotten in 5 seconds if they didn't block me.

---

Spoiler for MILF:

But I can't even complain because there are just some older women (30-40) that are just so fucking hooooooot. I'm not talking about their looks. It's just how they do their body language, gestures, and all that, and I feel that College Station is like a diluted Utah simply because everyone, male and female, but mostly female, are probably just sexually repressed.

It's because there's a different type of Church around a good area of the city, and they usually take control of the REALLY limited parking here as well. I don't have a car, but still, combined with the Hardcore conservative mindset, I shouldn't be surprised.

And like, it's so clear that they just go out with ugly guys (I'm talking about 20-30 range females), and I'm wondering, "You can't obviously be going out with him because of his personality."

There's just no way the guys they go out with are not in it to fuck them silly. I just can't see it that way! It's just impossible! They either are nice to that guy and take advantage of how they'll buy them stuff because the girl lies and says he's so strong and all that bs.

And like, I remember having a lab partner who was a senior, and he would be so obsessive over his girlfriend, and I felt horrible for the guy because I'm guessing based on the story he told me, his girlfriend must've been hot to be doing those things, or just a super slut or something. And he's just holding on to her because he needs that male dominance of going out with a hot girl.

Spoiler for Awesome Biology Lab TA:

I think I have a slight friendly crush for my Biology teacher assistant......she has the ideal body and all that. Omg, and combine that with her awesome personality, and her sardonic quips during lab...(｡◕‿‿◕｡) damn it.

She's the girl that has a cat around her house and probably uses it for comfort, but when she's out of where she lives, she must be extremely social to others. And it's obvious she likes me, she's just nice to me....I just..sdfjakghfsjdga

I just don't understand how a TA could be that awesome, makes the class less boring, and is so smart! And she has a beautiful body, at least my perception of what's "beautiful."

I think my lab TA is into freaky stuff, and she even states how she loves enjoying seeing people's disgusted reactions with biology. candsafkjsd.

Anyway, Rave:

I can't wait for my camera to ship in this week. I hope the UPS guy doesn't leave it on my door. At first for my previous order, it was okay, because it looked like some huge pamphlet that no one would pick up, but I hope he comes when I'm not in classes on Wednesday.

That's basically the highlight of my week, if I can just get the camera and the external memory, I will be so happy. It will make studying for exams coming next week a little more tolerable.

Link: I totally get what you mean about the old people! We have two HEBs here, one is jam packed with college students (and when I say jam-packed, I mean it), the other is full of old people. As crowded as the student one is, it's still a million times faster than granny pushing her cart at .1 MPH.

Complain: Last week was so busy I forgot to do my homework for stats and bio *facepalm* My own fault, I know, but I was really hoping to get an A in stats and my bio grade needs work.

My anti-rant: I'm finally going to buy a bow! I've always been really interested in archery and now that I have a bit of spending money I'm going to buy one It's all picked out, I just need to get it if it's still in stock (they go fast). I'm going to need to learn more about arrows to see what specs will be right for my bow. I'm very, very excited.

But that brings me to two sighs/cries/complains. The first is that there aren't any archery shops around here. Sure, there are sporting goods stores, but nothing totally dedicated, so the staff is less knowledgeable and the selection isn't the best. Also, and more importantly, there's no archery range around here. However we do more or less go by one when we're visiting family very often, so we can just take along my bow. It's just really inconvenient there isn't one closer.

The second sigh is that a ton of knowledge gets lost between generations if it isn't part of the next generation's daily life. Specifically, hunting. My grandfather hunted, my parents don't. He was going to take my brother and me and show us the ropes, but he died, and all he knew with him. Land my family had was sold, so the search for a hunting ground that isn't insanely priced begins. We've been looking and looking, but can't find any that aren't so particular with weapon types or that are in our budget. I'm going to read all I can about hunting and tracking, but there's really no teacher like experience, or a teacher with experience teaching you first off. I've gotten a lot better at finding tracks and knowing when animals are close since I've been out in the woods, but it's nowhere up to par with hunters. And I really really really want to hunt.

I wish we had land.

I suspect NewArtemis shops at either the Hancock Center location or Far West. Maybe Oltorf...

Brodie Lane has the easiest HEB to shop in. I've never cared for that Hancock location, or too many of the others.



Rant: I took my mom shopping at HEB today, which is why I was inspired to reply above. She walks slow because of her gouty foot, which I can handle. She buys salad mix, which is good. However, when I get her home there are already two bags of salad mix in her fridge, both uneaten, from the last time I took her shopping. Other healthy things also remain uneaten.

She needs to eat that stuff but instead she buys and eats frozen meals. So much salt. She also won't give up the sodas.

I'm already taking care of myself and three other people. I can help her but I can't take care of her and hold her hand every day or for every meal.

A day will come when she won't be able to even feed herself as she is. Then I'll really be running around trying to take care of her and my own household.

Ugh....I so don't want to grow old like that. Not like that.

Lots of death and dying going on in my fish tanks this week. I sent my partner out to purchase an amano shrimp while I was at work, to clean the hairy algae from my tank, but the specimen was too small and got eaten by my gourami, despite the fact that the gourami refuses to eat whole krill, which are smaller (but already dead). My apple snail is too weak to right herself, and has been in the same position for over a week, unless we move her. I think she ate a little, and I have no idea what's wrong. My best guess is old age. She has been living with us for 6 months, and the lifespan at the current tank temp is a year, and she was already an adult when we got her, so I guess it may just be her time. I hope my other snail species have longer lifespans, too bad I lack the skills to identify them. To top it all off, one of my adolescent females developed swim bladder issues overnight. It's on its second day, and has only gotten worse, though she can still eat, she has trouble righting herself, and has been hiding since this afternoon. I expect her to be dead by morning. I was going to use her for breeding, as she was the biggest. As an added pinch of irony, we named her "Tilt" for how back when she was in the nursery tank, she'd tilt towards the odd angle of the desk lamp light (just like the other fish, but we noticed her tilting first, since she was biggest). ;__;

I've been doing water changes like crazy as a precaution. The other snails and fish are all fine, showing no signs of illness.

I think I'm starting to get sick. I hung out with a friend last Saturday who had just been starting to feel a little off, and then I saw him again on Monday and his condition was getting worse. As of yesterday I started feeling like my throat was getting sore, and it's gotten worse and worse all of today. I also started getting headaches on and off and just feeling really tired and out of it. And I've just having some weird burps and random aches now and then, it's just not looking good.... You'd think I would learn to stop smoking with people who tell me they're sick by now, but I guess not.

I don't know what I'm doing back here. I've been trying to avoid ranting for a while now so I could focus on actually fixing my issues, but I guess I just couldn't hold it off anymore. Some of the things that I want to rant about though, like the sickness, are genuinely just things that suck and not issues I need to work on like usual. So I guess it's kind of alright.

This is something that keeps bugging me. I've been working on a group project for a class and my partner won't cut me any slack. We both worked on the project together, we found the information together, and I even worked out a lot of the way it's set up myself. She asked me to meet up with her on campus to work on stuff too and I showed up right on time (and she didn't), and I totally pulled my weight there. Now the last class she asked me if I could do the outline by myself because she had papers to write for other classes before the day we have to present (tomorrow). I have other class papers too, but I didn't complain. I said I would do it because it's not a big hassle. That doesn't bother me, but what does is the fact that she won't stop texting me, over and over again "Don't forget about the outline!!", "Make sure you do the outline tonight!!", etc. And she also asked me if I could show up early tomorrow to rehearse something and I said yes, and she won't stop pestering me about that either, even though we've been through this once before and I came through just fine. Like seriously, what the hell?? If you don't trust me then do it yourself. Gah. I can't wait until tomorrow is over with.

I'm also going to do worse on this other paper now. I was going to work on only that tonight until that outline came along, and when I finally finished that I realized how little time I would have for the other paper. Even though it's a horrible excuse and I'm already mad at myself for it, I've pretty much concluded that turning it in a day late and getting ten points off would be much more acceptable than rushing to get some half-assed paper in tomorrow and getting a lot more points off. That doesn't change the fact that I should be working on it right now anyway, but if I made smart choices then I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

And that's another thing. I'm so unbelievably lazy. I can't believe I'm still in this same rut with procrastination that I've always been in and don't really seem to be capable of overcoming. I mean, I know that I want to do better, but it never seems to change anything. It honestly makes me feel like a child, and I hate it.

Ugh.... I'm not going to take that any further though. I need to at least not whine about it as much so I make some kind of progress. I just feel like... I want to be this independent person, and I'm not. Not at all. And even though I say I want to be, it's really just because I know that life will be easier if I can be. I don't really want to be, I just recognize it as something I should want. How am I supposed to achieve something with that kind of attitude? In reality I feel totally lost without some kind of solid support, and it's always been that way. And without someone pushing me to do the right thing, I'm so afraid that I'm going to keep falling short....

The last thing that I have to say is that the world is cruel. It's unbearable. And I'm not just trying to vent about myself, I just mean in general. People don't deserve the shit that they have to go through just to keep living their lives. And often the people who don't have to go through shit are the ones that deserve to. And lately I've been meeting a lot of people who hear me make these complaints and tell me that I should be religious, or have faith in something that I can't understand so I know that everything will turn out alright. How the hell am I supposed to have faith in a world like this? Maybe I'm a bit of an outlier in this way because I've been able to go most of my life without really dealing with religious people, but now that I suddenly am this is really starting to get to me. I understand that people want to think that there's something better going on behind all of this, and believe me, I'd give anything to not be so pessimistic, but I just don't see how you can believe in something like that when you can just look at the world and see what a terrible place it is. And I love this world on some levels, but that doesn't stop me from seeing all the darkness in it.

But about all that... don't get me wrong, I do have some beliefs that might be considered spiritual. I personally think that reincarnation is not all that unlikely. I just don't think it'd necessarily be any more fair or balanced than the world as we see it already.



That was all pretty scatterbrained. Sorry, but I guess that's a rant for you. I'll probably regret making this post in the morning, but until then, goodnight DV.

But about all that... don't get me wrong, I do have some beliefs that might be considered spiritual. I personally think that reincarnation is not all that unlikely. I just don't think it'd necessarily be any more fair or balanced than the world as we see it already.

Just coming back because I've been really depressed, especially last night. And I really don't have anyone to talk to.

Same as Aly said, I just want to get stuff off my chest a bit if it's something I can't work on to improve.
I don't want to keep coming here to dwell on things that I should be fixing instead.

Anyway.

Over the last.... couple of years really, I've occasionally thought about this girl I used to go out with at Uni.
I think about her more and more frequently, and recently I just can't stop.
We were going out for a month or something, and holidays came around, we saw each other once or twice
but then we didn't anymore for the last couple of weeks of the break.

I was avoiding her because, I think, I had pretty bad self-esteem, it was my first real relationship and it progressed
extremely quickly. I also cannot commit to anything. And I didn't really feel like I could be as good as I should have been for her.

Of course, I realised all of this 2 YEARS after our relationship ended.
Thanks a lot, brain....

At the time I didn't know why I felt weird, I thought maybe I didn't really like her, so I just pussied out and stopped talking to her.
What. The. Fuck....
Goddamn it, I'm such an idiot.

There couldn't be a more perfect relationship than we had, and I just throw it away.
She was PERFECT for me! Fuck....
She didn't care that I don't talk much, she didn't talk much either.
We went on 4 hour drives and barely said anything but it was comfortable, we were happy.
We could communicate, barely speaking at all.

Most people really don't understand what I'm saying when I talk, but with her it was like she
was already thinking the same thing, and she just.... got it.
And I find it pretty difficult to understand most people as well,
but I knew what she was talking about even though she couldn't speak that well because she was Chinese.
And she cracked me up with some of the things she said, like no one ever has.

We liked all the same things as well.

That was all in less than a month, it aches me to think what could have happened had I not been such a fuck.

There was absolutely nothing bad in that relationship.

A couple of days ago I came across some songs she sent me that got lost in my collection for years.
And it just hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was just so fucking obvious how stupid I was.

Another thing which is making me really hate myself is that in Uni, after we broke up, I had drawn a portrait of this other girl (coz she ASKED me to and it was part of a project) and she ended up showing people in her class (my.... ex, was in that class too) and someone else was like "OH HE LIKES YOU!"
........
NO! I FUCKING DIDN'T!

And my ex had asked me if I did like that girl a few days before we started going out and I said I didn't, so when that shit happened with the picture, obviously she heard it coz she was in that class, and I had said Hi to her when I passed her in the hall, and she ignored me.
I realised later on, after I found out what happened that it must have been because of that. She thought I lied to her about not liking the other girl and was obviously upset about it.

Just depresses me and makes me feel like shit that she thinks that about me.
And she also probably thinks I just used her for sex or something coz I stopped talking to her shortly after.

That's just not it at all........

But I was too much of an idiot to explain things when I had the chance.
Now she's had a kid, got married (probably because she got pregnant, I think.... it happened way too quick, but I may be wrong. Judging by the sonograph on her abandoned facebook page, it may have happened right after they got married) and moved who knows where, maybe not even in the country anymore. I somehow lost her e-mail, tried looking through all my contacts by downloading skype and merging with my old MSN account that we talked on, not there. Can't see e-mail on facebook. Not sure what happened to her number, I may have lost it when I changed phones or something. So I can't even try to explain everything. I mean there's basically no chance of being with her again, I know that. But I don't want her to think so badly of me. And I really would love being friends with her. She was awesome.

Okay I just checked my phone and I do have her number, for some reason I forgot to check that. But she could have changed it by now, who knows.
Not like I can just call her out of the blue either. It might just make her remember and I don't want to make her feel bad.
I don't know whether it would just be for my benefit, explaining everything, or if it would help her too.
We really did love each other, even though it might sound like a stupid 20-something fling. We were far more than that.
"I just wanna hold you, I don't wanna hold you down". But she probably wouldn't see it that way.

Originally Posted by tommo

Just coming back because I've been really depressed, especially last night. And I really don't have anyone to talk to.

Same as Aly said, I just want to get stuff off my chest a bit if it's something I can't work on to improve.
I don't want to keep coming here to dwell on things that I should be fixing instead.

Anyway.

Over the last.... couple of years really, I've occasionally thought about this girl I used to go out with at Uni.
I think about her more and more frequently, and recently I just can't stop.
We were going out for a month or something, and holidays came around, we saw each other once or twice
but then we didn't anymore for the last couple of weeks of the break.

I was avoiding her because, I think, I had pretty bad self-esteem, it was my first real relationship and it progressed
extremely quickly. I also cannot commit to anything. And I didn't really feel like I could be as good as I should have been for her.

Of course, I realised all of this 2 YEARS after our relationship ended.
Thanks a lot, brain....

At the time I didn't know why I felt weird, I thought maybe I didn't really like her, so I just pussied out and stopped talking to her.
What. The. Fuck....
Goddamn it, I'm such an idiot.

There couldn't be a more perfect relationship than we had, and I just throw it away.
She was PERFECT for me! Fuck....
She didn't care that I don't talk much, she didn't talk much either.
We went on 4 hour drives and barely said anything but it was comfortable, we were happy.
We could communicate, barely speaking at all.

Most people really don't understand what I'm saying when I talk, but with her it was like she
was already thinking the same thing, and she just.... got it.
And I find it pretty difficult to understand most people as well,
but I knew what she was talking about even though she couldn't speak that well because she was Chinese.
And she cracked me up with some of the things she said, like no one ever has.

We liked all the same things as well.

That was all in less than a month, it aches me to think what could have happened had I not been such a fuck.

There was absolutely nothing bad in that relationship.

A couple of days ago I came across some songs she sent me that got lost in my collection for years.
And it just hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was just so fucking obvious how stupid I was.

Another thing which is making me really hate myself is that in Uni, after we broke up, I had drawn a portrait of this other girl (coz she ASKED me to and it was part of a project) and she ended up showing people in her class (my.... ex, was in that class too) and someone else was like "OH HE LIKES YOU!"
........
NO! I FUCKING DIDN'T!

And my ex had asked me if I did like that girl a few days before we started going out and I said I didn't, so when that shit happened with the picture, obviously she heard it coz she was in that class, and I had said Hi to her when I passed her in the hall, and she ignored me.
I realised later on, after I found out what happened that it must have been because of that. She thought I lied to her about not liking the other girl and was obviously upset about it.

Just depresses me and makes me feel like shit that she thinks that about me.
And she also probably thinks I just used her for sex or something coz I stopped talking to her shortly after.

That's just not it at all........

But I was too much of an idiot to explain things when I had the chance.
Now she's had a kid, got married (probably because she got pregnant, I think.... it happened way too quick, but I may be wrong. Judging by the sonograph on her abandoned facebook page, it may have happened right after they got married) and moved who knows where, maybe not even in the country anymore. I somehow lost her e-mail, tried looking through all my contacts by downloading skype and merging with my old MSN account that we talked on, not there. Can't see e-mail on facebook. Not sure what happened to her number, I may have lost it when I changed phones or something. So I can't even try to explain everything. I mean there's basically no chance of being with her again, I know that. But I don't want her to think so badly of me. And I really would love being friends with her. She was awesome.

Okay I just checked my phone and I do have her number, for some reason I forgot to check that. But she could have changed it by now, who knows.
Not like I can just call her out of the blue either. It might just make her remember and I don't want to make her feel bad.
I don't know whether it would just be for my benefit, explaining everything, or if it would help her too.
We really did love each other, even though it might sound like a stupid 20-something fling. We were far more than that.
"I just wanna hold you, I don't wanna hold you down". But she probably wouldn't see it that way.

I understand what your going through, something similar to what happened in middle school to me and a guy i knew, it haunts me still and i know it does to him also.

I have an anti-rant now. I ended up getting that paper done on time, and it was easy. I went to my first class today and had to present that group project (by the way, the girl was basically waiting to hear me say I hadn't done the outline, but then when I gave it to her she liked it so much that she wrote down parts of it on her note cards verbatim and just basically ended up reading from them for most of her part - and she froze up on the rest of her part, which I took over and did without looking at her note cards or the powerpoint even once), and then in my next class as soon as I got there the professor handed out a test review and said we were doing a group studying and to partner up with people. I just got up and walked out. I don't need people to help me study. >_> And I walked straight to my car, set up shop in the back seat with the air conditioner and radio on, booted up my laptop, and just started typing whatever came to mind for that paper. I finished it with enough time to get lunch afterward before the next class started, I was on a roll. So no late points off now. And all of my sickness symptoms have even seemed progressively less since I woke up.

I guess today isn't so bad after all.

Originally Posted by hathor28

I understand what your going through, something similar to what happened in middle school to me and a guy i knew, it haunts me still and i know it does to him also.

Sorry to hear that

Aly and Tommo Hope everything gets better for you guys soon.
OP and Hathor for your losses and troubles.
Link for all the crap you have to go through and put up with!

Hope you get an awesome bow and find someplace affordable to hunt. I've always wanted to go hunting, but not seriously enough to do anything lol

Melanie. You must be exhausted.
My eating habits are like your moms. I used to buy nutritious stuff but after wasting it week after week for months on end, I just gave up on trying.
My p-doc told me something interesting though. I guess there have been some studies done about nutrition and grazers.
In one study, kids had access to a buffet. The doctors or who ever, recorded info about each of the kids and what they ate. Some chose salad, some chose junk etc but in the end, every kid chose the food his/her body needed.
I thought that was interesting because I've always eaten whatever I'm craving... if I can be bothered. Right now I'm craving chicken livers. Have for a while now. But I can't be bothered to clean the Steamer. I rarely ever crave meat. But I've actually caught myself in a daydream a couple of times where I'm eating those livers raw. Which tells me my iron is probably low or some such.
Granted, this is taking into account that there are no medical reasons why the person shouldn't eat whatever they want. Like, if a diabetic craved sweets, they'd still have to exercise control and find an alternative to say, a Hershey's Bar lol

Abra. Hope your aquarium recovers!!
When I was a young teen, we had a fish tank. For some reason, the fish started jumping out. We'd always find them dead and dried out on the carpet the next day. I think most of them were Angel fish. But there was a big Gold Fish as well. I loved that fish. One day, I saw her outside the tank. I was sad and took her outside to bury her and she moved. I put her in a bowl of water but she kept tilting. I straightened her up with pencil lol but then I had to go to school. She was still alive when I got home and continued living a long time after that. Her name was Dot.
I hadn't thought of that fish in a long time lol

My rants:
My hubby is sick. I'm trying to talk him into going to see a Doctor. He's vomiting (what he thinks is) feces. But he also has explosive, watery diarrhea. So it's not a bowel obstruction. And now he's dehydrated. I can't go shopping for him unless he gives me money. But it hurts for him to pick up the mic and talk to me over Gmail, let alone walk to the garage to leave me money.
I'm very worried about him. He's never sick like this.

Which leads into my second rant.
Since he told me how sick he is, (some time yesterday), I've been feeling sick. But I'm not. It's a sympathetic reaction and it drives me insane.

Another rant/anti-rant is that since my strange stomach pain about a month ago, I rarely use the restroom without laxatives. I take them about twice a week now. Which is sort of an anti-rant in and of itself seeing how I previously could eat nothing without running to the pot.
I also have virtually NO acid reflux.
I'm still living, primarily, off of Strawberry Milk. And until hubby got sick, I've been feeling fairly amazing. With the last 3 days or so being the exception. My old fatigue has returned. But I think that's only because Mr. Monthly's about to stop by.

Hope everyone is well today.

Thanks, Zhay. I hope you feel better soon, and your hubby too!

I didn't have time to mention this before because I still had one class to go to, but I do have one extra... thing. More like a cry than a rant. My cat is sick. He spent the entire day up until now not getting out of his little bed and barely eating anything, and he was throwing up a lot last night. He just got up recently finally and threw up and went outside and was acting really quiet and distant, but at least he's eating out of his bowel now. It's worrying to see him like this.... Like two years ago or something they told us he wouldn't live longer than six months because he has two different diseases killing him, and the only reason he hadn't died already was because his two diseases were fighting each other off. Since he's still survived for so long, I'd just been going along with the explanation (that I made up) that his two combating diseases had actually strengthened him to the point of immortality, but it's starting to look like that may not be the case....

I really hope he makes a liar out of me though.

Thanks Aly.

I hope your kitty makes a full and speedy recovery.

My rant is that I'm sleepy and I don't want to go to bed lol. I also feel worse. Most of it is my own darn fault though.
I finally tried nuking some liver. I ate 2 1/2 pieces (half wasn't cooked enough). Then I got brave and cooked 6 more in the steamer. They were sizable pieces. My son cooked a pot of rice and I shoveled it on top of the livers. It was SO good. And now I have reflux

And my throat is more sore (it's been sort of sore the last couple of mornings, along with an exceptionally mild earache). The lymph nodes at my neck are a bit swollen so I guess I'm not completely sympathetically sick.
Hubby's not doing much better. He did give me money to pick him up some Gatoraid etc from Wally World. I also got him some Pedialite (sp!) liquid and freezable sticks. And he has tentatively called off work tomorrow. Since we got together in 1998, he has NEVER taken a sick day from work.
He's not running a temperature though.

Ugh... I guess I'll give in and go back to bed.

Think one of my lungs collapsed again, gonna go for an x-ray tomorrow.

Woo.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Think one of my lungs collapsed again, gonna go for an x-ray tomorrow.

Again? That really sucks.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Think one of my lungs collapsed again, gonna go for an x-ray tomorrow.

Woo.

I'm sorry to hear that. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

Hope it turns out to be nothing, Gavin!!!

*makes healthy wish*

Tag= (i love gavin)

dat empathy

Thanks. I didn't get a chance to go get the x-ray done yet, might either go later this afternoon or wait until tomorrow. My chest feels better now than it did yesterday, but it's been bugging me for a week or two so I should probably go for it regardless.

Originally Posted by tommo

Okay I just checked my phone and I do have her number, for some reason I forgot to check that. But she could have changed it by now, who knows.
Not like I can just call her out of the blue either. It might just make her remember and I don't want to make her feel bad.
I don't know whether it would just be for my benefit, explaining everything, or if it would help her too.

It seems there's a greater chance of benefit than harm. At least you would get closure, you might become friends and she shouldn't be hurt if you're only contacting her to explain yourself. Could you do a reverse phone-lookup or something, to see if the number is in use and where she's located at least?

I'm starting to be concerned about the fate of the CEO of a site that seems to be going well for blogging. So far, I've made it blatantly obvious that I can contribute to the site reaching a broader audience. I played around with some competitive keywords, and simply just let myself do a 1,200+ word article within 15-30 minutes, and it's number one on google.

I'm raping that keyword so hard, I'm making the CEO so much money that's natural and legit. Now I'm having fears that he might think I'm doing something "illegal" when it's clear I don't know two shits about doing "illegal" traffic surging. I think I mentioned this in a previous rant, but he started questioning my methods for getting towards my previous payment request, and it ended up being an instant payment most likely because what I did, and what I've always been doing in that site was legit.

I think what's happening is that they're most likely getting so much traffic that it's hard to actually fulfill their fixed income rate. But of course, I can't be so negative as yet until it's clear that the same site might be slipping up on their promises. So far I've made hundreds of dollars, and after experimenting with a certain keyword, I know I can dominate anything that's new because I can get the content (at least 800 words or so) faster than Usain Bolt.

So I don't know....maybe I should just make a personal blog, find some niche to do that I truly like that's still competitive, and just work towards getting money for in within a few months or a year. Until then, I'll probably just keep my fingers crossed and hope this third-party site I'm clearly helping out here doesn't slip up. It wouldn't make sense at all for me to not get paid properly if even the staff members liked what I do to help them get richer.

And most of the other members of that site, 99.9% of them are incompetents. The ones that can truly make a decent conversation (which is sadly only 4 sentences) are somewhat okay, but never enough for me. :/
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Rave: It feels so nice when I just let out my absolute disgust with certain people in my life. (Not the rant I made just now).

It's like getting leeches off of my body, and feeling so rejuvenated, it's absolutely wonderful! I'm starting to see how certain people in my life are so full of shit! Not all of them are shit, just some of them, and it's time I just avoid them completely.