You can come to my apartment and clean up this mess if you want to be productive. I wouldn't mind having some of your cooking. Completely platonic when I'm saying that.
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You can come to my apartment and clean up this mess if you want to be productive. I wouldn't mind having some of your cooking. Completely platonic when I'm saying that.
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1) PM spammed to hell
2) Too many subscribed threads with new posts in control panel
3) Too many new threads - don't know what the fuck is going on
4) Rant thread title color is now green - hate change
So, how is everyone?
Ugh... I just woke up (thank you son :furious:) I got 9 1/2 hours but I could have slept much longer.
I had strange and vivid dreams... a spider was squirting goo behind her and then I noticed the goo had spider babies in them. I was fascinated by the whole thing lol. In another dream, people were trapped in a sort of Stained Glass world.
I had a couple bad dreams, too, but I've pretty much forgotten everything except the 2 I mentioned :bang:
I wondered where you had disappeared to, Aly. Glad you were having fun :) I get ridiculously attached to my creations. It's not that I want to take care of them, lol, it's more like bragging rights and the fact I put so much time in them.
The only other real med I take is 80 mg Celexa.
I also take Guaifenesin and Ranitidine as needed to help with mucus in my throat and heartburn.
And, of course, there's my caffeine. I take at least 400 mg every day.
The noise isn't bad. It's more entertaining than anything else. If there's background noise, or if I'm doing something like typing, I don't notice it at all. Ah yes, but you were talking about the pressure. I want to connect the two but after that first night, I have the noise without the pressure so they're probably not related at all :chuckle: :roll:
Another rant is that my son drank my last Coke... which means I must venture out into the world MUCH sooner than I had hoped. It should be against the law to take the last of anything from a person. 50 lashes for him!! :cheeky:
Okay, this is creeping me out. Occasionally, maybe once every 3 weeks, I see this girl that glances over me with a piercing. She's one of those girls that any guy would see a glowing aura emitting from her body, and hey hair is flowing in slow motion. Combine that with her below average looking girly girls she uses to augment her looks, she assumes alpha female status and takes down any male she wants to look out.
While her little friends are like giggling like they're on some weird shit, it's like the moment I start paying attention for just 0.0000024324 seconds, she locks me in, and I can't get out of whatever she's trying to do to me....and she isn't even anywhere close to talking to me as yet. Then I have to quickly look down because I realize how much she probably knows about me now.....and she has a boyfriend, which makes things awkward.
I'm pretty sure she's not a slut, so I'm not worried about anything in interacting with her, but honestly, with a girl that gathers a posse that are clearly unattractive compared to her, combined with the two-faced demeanor she puts up, she's a very very VERY dangerous woman.
Like sexually repressed Christian woman dangerous (no offense). I swear she's using her boyfriend has a placeholder for someone hotter, and even though they look like a normal couple, I feel she's going to either go for someone uglier, or just stay with that guy.
Why am I concerned about her? It's because if I'm seeing her, and her little posse sees me looking at her, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh god.........I should probably delete my Facebook account. When I decided to make a relationship status for the shits and giggles, and one girl realized it was fake, boy, did I fuck up her ego....she was probably crying based on the content of her post that was attacked to me indirectly. When I found out it's directed at me, it was obvious that cunt face had feelings for me LOL.
I can't believe I was oblivious that any girl that wants to bake cookies for you has a crush on you. God, I was a shithead two years ago.
Oh well, I'm glad I have someone amazing though. :)
---
And I noticed how unprepared people are in making their blog posts on a different website. Within 2 weeks or so, I managed to accumulated 3,100+ views for my blog posts. I haven't really tried my best, because of college and all, but that's an okay amount within 2 weeks, considering I had no traffic connections (significant ones that is) whatsoever.
Are people really this stupid when making blog posts? I swear, they show a link, bam. Done. Or or....they post a picture, BAM, done. They expect to people to read that?!?!? Are you kidding me? LOL. *Facepalm*
What's worse is that I have to somehow collaborate with these thousands of people, put off the professional interaction and shit I picked up on reading an extensive guide on blogging and other sources....and frankly, as a blog database, I'm earnestly disappointed in how much people are LAZY. Actually, not lazy, they just don't think well.
I know I'm stupid to the invisible majority, but these people are just......3rd grade levels of competence......it takes me maybe 30 minutes with 2 revision checks to make sure a 3-5 paged blog is alright. Maybe I should just be glad that the competition is less, meaning more view for me, and more cash for me. This shit is easy pickings man. EASY.
It's only going to get better when I actually get serious. I'm aiming for 10k views, and with the progress I made, that's probably going to be apparent in maybe a month or so...if I can keep updating it. And with my sporadic mind that magically makes the right blog post for the right topic, I'm completely set for this online side job.
Not bad. You?Quote:
Originally Posted by LightofHeaven
Aw, thanks for noticing. :content: Yeah, that's pretty much what it is for me too. :P I'm kind of a perfectionist with games, I aim to get that 100% completion, so when it comes to games where there's an absurd amount of things to do I can get pretty sucked into them lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhaylin
I guess that probably won't be too bad.... But ginkgo biloba can have some SSRI effects at first, which means you need to be careful with taking it with Celexa. To my understanding they disappear with time, but I would definitely make sure to start small on the ginkgo doses. The rest should be fine. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyzarin
hehee, a little late there. I jumped right in at 3 pills of 120 mg 2 times a day (once when I eat, twice before I go to sleep).
Everything seems fine. I am sleeping for longing batches of time than previously. Perhaps it's related. But my mood is fine, health is status quo, memory still sucks lol, focus is about the same.
It's still way too early for me to jump to too many conclusions though (I read it takes 6-12 weeks to start noticing improvements).
I've been thinking about Everquest 2 a LOT since this thread. I'm going to have to break down and buy some time soon lol There's probably no one left in my poor guild :panic:
But that doesn't bother me. I just like the guild for the extra bank space :cackle:
Have you had DMT? Can't remember if you have.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyzarin
Just wondering coz it's basically just a variant of Psilocybin. (Obviously other compounds probably have some effect in both drugs too).
____
RAVE! or anti-rant, whatever.
Missy Higgins concert tonight! :D
Can't wait. Can't decide whether I should get high or not.
Also I took some Calea in tea last night and had a crazy ass dream. Was continuous for at least the whole last half of sleep, but maybe even the whole night.
Made me realise that an apocalyptic scenario wouldn't actually be that fun.
Yeah, a handful of times. It's peaceful, but not in the same way that mushrooms are. It's more like cleansing, but it still gives me that same compulsive feeling as other drugs. The trip is deeply complex in a way that makes me crave going back in every time I come down. Mushrooms, on the other hand, I can trip on and then not feel the need to again for months because every trip is just so satisfying that I just feel content enough to not even really think about them again for a while. I've even had several plans where I intended to take mushrooms in combination with lots of other drugs go horribly wrong because I would wait until the mushrooms kicked in and then I would just decide to hand all of the other drugs out to people I knew because I was already feeling completely perfect. I always regretted it the next day, though. :roll:Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
I think it just depends on how you handle it. :P Was it at least interesting?Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
That's your idea of a trip gone horribly wrong lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Alyzarin
Hehe, yeah I spose, I just meant that it is nerve wracking, you can't rest completely, ever. I can't actually remember a whole lot of the dream now, it was fucking crazy. Yeah it was extremely interesting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyzarin
I woke up with a few epiphanies, but I sort of forgot them now too (that always bloody happens :(). Except for that, sort of epiphany but not really, about apocalypse not being fun. lol
I hope you're having a blast at the concert, Tommo!
:crying: I've only been awake for 6 hours and I'm about to head to bed. I can't keep my eyes open.
BUT, I'm very proud of myself for not taking my sisters bait :banana:
My last FB message to her was on March 02 of 2011 lol But my youngest has been wanting me to get in touch with her so I can give her the phone number at the new place.
Ugh... my sis is so passive aggressive it's ridiculous. She kept dropping likes like "I'm glad they're out of [town] too, but for different reasons" (other than the bad influences I had mentioned... a jab at my parenting)
"So I take it you and hubby still aren't living in the same house?"
"Such serious issues for kids so young to have to go through."
:bang:
Say what you want, but drop the passive crap :furious:
I ignored her jabs with grace :shadewink:
Now for bed....
**EDIT**
Couldn't sleep because what I wrote bothered me. It's not that I don't love my sis, I do. I haven't talked with her because I'm just lousy about keeping in touch. What have I to talk about? Farmville lol I can't talk to my family about serious stuff because they come across as judgmental. I usually don't feel offended by what they say or their attitudes, I just feel so thoroughly DRAINED.
I can't live up to their expectations, so why put myself through the misery of being constantly reminded?
Bleh.
Not there yet! lol
But thanks anyway :D
This day also just got even better, due to receiving an infraction for abusing another member. :D
It's always makes me feel good. No sarcasm.
Oh Zhaylin I know how you feel. Just thankfully my family doesn't really use passive aggressiveness much, I would go friggen insane.
Maybe you should just delete her off facebook?
Well, if you come up with this big plan and spend all this money to do something really epic and you end up abandoning it just because you got too fucked up on something you've already done plenty of times, it's a little depressing. X) It's not like they weren't still fun nights. :P Though I can admit to having kind of high standards for tripping lol. Back then I was all about megadoses and combinations, I like to cram as many euphoric stimuli as I can fit into a single activity.Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
Sounds pretty intense. :P But some things they just don't let you keep in reality. :whyme: If it's any consolation, it was probably some unfathomable nonsense. :chuckle:Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
-----
Rant: Holy crap. I fell asleep on the couch in the living room while working on this post but kind of fading out at 10:45 PM. I do that every now and then, it's no big deal, but then I always wake up one to three hours later and move into the bedroom. I just woke up, and it's fucking 5:45 AM and I'm still out here. I slept for seven hours in this spot. >.>;;
Also, the like an hour to an hour and a half before falling asleep I tried closing my eyes and holding awareness without focusing on anything and I reached hypnagogia easily three separate times within like five to ten minutes, but each time I would stroke out too much and it would snap me awake before going anywhere. And I was going to try to take it further when I went to bed but I guess that never happened. >:T
I'm pretty sure I had another rant too when I was originally typing this post, but I guess it'll come back to me if it's important.
BEST CONCERT EVER!!!!!!!!! In the history of man. No contest.
God damn I love Missy. So beautiful!
I also talked to this HOT HOT HOT girl that came in late and sat in my sisters seat (which wasn't actually my sisters seat, the stupid.... person who shows you seats (forgot the job title for that).... told us the wrong ones, my sister went to the toilet and this stunning girl sat down there) which was actually good coz I started talking to her by saying she's sitting in my sisters seat. Then checked which seat she had on her ticket, and said "oh, cool cool, well I'll sit.... here I guess" lol and then I was like "fuck, the seat numbers are right here lol" (back of the seat) and she's like "yeah, it doesn't really matter anyway, it's like musical chairs in these things" and I just laughed and said "yeah" coz I had no idea what she meant coz I'm a dumbass as soon as I start talking to someone. And then she just asked about the support bands who were on before Missy and if I liked them and we had a little chat and then my sister came back and sat between us and I didn't know whether I should ask to swap, figured I should quit while I was ahead because I probably would've run out of things to say before Missy got on stage anyway.
I was this _ close to asking her out though, holy shit haha
Usually the people I meet at those concerts are sort of non-talkative and just shrug me off, so either she was incredibly nice or she was in to me. I almost took the bet. Oh well, next time. Or maybe the time after that. At least I'm getting closer to not being a retard.
Missy sang my favourite song ever too. I wasn't sure whether she would or not, but when she sings it live she goes nuts and it's incredible, and as soon as I heard her say it my brain just went in to ecstasy mode haha
I haven't heard her sing it live without bad crackly audio from people's phones or whatever, so it was really good.
I did have one gripe with the sound though, the mics were a tad too low and they were a bit muffled on the low notes, which was weird.
But still was amazing.
If you wanna see that song, watch it til the end or don't bother at all. SOOOO SEOGWQEOGWENGWKEngooodowdowjefdddGOFOOOOOOOEWWEWE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cycNBnqI1mY
She looks so young there too lol So cute.
@Link; Assuming you've read the situation correctly, do this:
Act as if you give exactly no fucks.
One of two things will happen:
1) Not needing to validate her messages, coupled with your presumably 'mysterious' (as she may see it) public persona, will make her more interested in you than you are in her
2) She'll move on to someone more susceptible, you focus on less dangerous girls, problem solved
I'm fairly certain my son Myles is dead.
The hospital he was at moved him and after 7 days, he left. So he's been on the streets for a week or so.
My mom woke me today, calling a few times until I woke, and when I answered I could hear she had been crying. I knew right away he had left.
She only knew he was gone because the hospital called with a survey to ask about his stay :roll: So, Myles must have told the nurse not to call anyone.
The hospital he was moved to is in a horrible part of town.
I've been dreaming about him dead or dying for a week or so now. Not that I'm psychic or even particularly bonded with my son... I guess a part of me knew he wouldn't stay at the hospital. And I always told him he'd die if he tried to live on the streets.
Mom was beside herself saying "I didn't do a good job with you and your brother and I apparently screwed up with Myles too." :bang:
I reassured her that she did everything she could and to try not to beat herself up. I had warned her when he got there not to get too broken up if he just up and disappeared because that's been his plan and he's ENORMOUSLY hard-headed.
I asked if she had a picture of him and to take it to the cops so that if, worse came to worse, he wouldn't be a John Doe.
Foolish, foolish boy :crying:
Other than that, I'm okay. I stayed awake until 7 this morning and it took me about an hour to actually fall asleep :roll: I slept VERY fitfully. I tossed and turned, couldn't get comfortable, had several bad dreams (which I promptly forgot by jumping out of the bed to call my mom back).
Ugh... I've not cried. I'm not visibly shaken. To most, I would probably appear rather apathetic about my son.
But I can't stop thinking about him or about my mom...
@ Aly (again, no quote function - wtf)
I'm fine thank you. My mind is still left in that dreamy state from my trip to Alaska. Fuck city life lol.
How old are you tommo? Just curious.
^K I just read your 'about me' page. Never mind. I can't delete post. Fuck this shit.
Do you ask coz I sounds like a 15 year old fangirl?Quote:
Originally Posted by LightofHeaven
I guess that happens when you're in love
haha
I'm surprised my birth date is correct on here, it's usually set to 1890 or something lol
Zhaylin - Don't worry yourself too much when you really don't know anything except that he's not in hospital.
I've got myself worked up about similar things before and it
I listened to the entire song... just for you, Tommo :)
She does have a great voice!
And thank you for the reassurances. Hopefully, he'll turn up soon unharmed and okay.
My tinnitus is driving me in-friggin-sane. I'm going to have to start going to sleep with music or something. The noise NEVER stops. It actually has the tendency now to make me nauseous :bang:
Whenever I lay down to go to sleep, the room kind of spins a bit. So I took my blood pressure yesterday. It was 106/83 with a resting pulse of 92 when I sat at my desk. I went to my bed (maybe 10 steps) laid completely flat and took it again and it was 126/82 pulse 76 (in my left arm) and 111/77 76 in my right. :cackle: What the heck? Isn't it supposed to be lower when I lay down (I've had "vertigo" my whole life but for the life of me I can't recall if it raises or lowers when I change position from sitting/standing to laying down) :roll:
After not being able to fall asleep at around 3 but feeling exhausted, I took one ginkgo and one caffeine pill (they seem to compliment each other wonderfully). Took my blood pressure 30 minutes later and it was wonderful at 111/74... but my resting pulse was 114. Ugh....
I tried taking a nap again at 8 but the tinnitus and my anxiety kept me from it.
I kept thinking about my son... then I marveled at the spinning sensation and wondered if the ginkgo could be causing it. Then I thought about how it's a blood thinner and I remembered my bio-dad had 2 brain aneyrisms and his mom had one and I'm basically a [female :lol: ] clone of my bio-dad, so should I really be taking 360 mg of ginkgo every day :roll: :bang:
So, for the last hour, I've been lost researching ginkgo and then tinnitus and then I got off topic and started looking into tonsil stones and lingual tonsils and looking at a whole bunch of gross pics :chuckle:
I bought bolts for my dryer earlier. Hopefully they fit... if I ever get enough energy to fool with it. And I bought zip-ties for the vent to outside.
I was going to buy EQ2 time... even brought it to the register with me. But I changed my mind at the last moment.
^@ tommo
This rant can use a little bit of backstory. So, there's Friend O. I've been friends with O since sixth grade and we always listened to club music and video game techno and all that kinds of stuff together while growing up. During the summer after senior year of high school I was getting really into the club scene and at the end of it, right before O was leaving to go to college an hour away from me, I got him to come to my favorite club and take ecstasy with me for the first time. He absolutely loved it, and that first night he was there he met Friend R. At the time he just seemed like another cool clubgoer, but then after that night when O went to his freshman orientation he saw R there too, and they ended up being close friends. R was really into DJing and O had been interested in it for a long time and R already had been going to that club for a long time so he introduced O to the resident DJs there and all that good stuff. I hadn't actually met R that first night so at one point I did get to go back to the club with him and O and had one of the greatest nights I ever had there, so we started off on a good foot. And then at the end of that semester I transferred to the same college, so I started seeing them both and going to the club more often again. Eventually they both started getting added to the line-ups, and then O became their youngest resident DJ within his first year of going. R on the other hand went more into trying to make his own songs and eventually got one released.
Now fast forward a bit. Unlike them, I was really just passing through the club scene and have kind of moved on to other things. But, I am still a big fan of clubs and would happily go back to one for certain things. As I mentioned not long ago, one of my friends just threw down with a couple other guys to open up an afterhours club in the city. That friend is O. It just opened up so I haven't been yet, but obviously I have to go, so I asked him when they were open and when would be a good time to come. He told me that R, who I haven't seen in what feels like a lifetime now, is going to be doing a set there on Sunday, which sounds super badass! I honestly can't think of a better time to go than that, it's be great to see them both at once in that setting of all places.
The problem? He's spinning at 3:30-4:30 AM. :damnit: I know I used to do this all the time, but it's been a long time since I went out and kept high energy that late, and I won't be on any stimulants this time. ._. Eeeeeeeeh. I'm probably still going to go of my own free will, I just want to complain about it.
Frickin' club kids and their afterhours clubs.
-----
@ Zhay, I agree with tommo, it's only been a short amount of time so far so you can't really be certain of anything. I understand how negative the situation is and why you would be worried so much, but stay strong.... Not that I doubt you'll be able to. As always, you and your family are in my thoughts.
:hug:
Also, yeah, you may want to reconsider that ginkgo if you're not supposed to be taking blood thinners. >.> It's efficacy in that category is not insignificant, I've seen it contraindicated in situations for that purpose before.
Just get high off of Life :chuckle: Just try not to get too wild early on and conserve your energy for later in the evening. I hope you have lots of fun.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyzarin
I'm trying not to worry about Myles, but it's impossible. Imagine a young adult with Aspergers living on a street which regularly sees gang violence. He wont talk to people he doesn't know. If someone asked him a basic question and he ignores it, it could be perceived as disrespect or something.
Myles has all the classic signs of Aspergers but he's never been diagnosed and, thus, has never received treatment. He's in WAY over his head.
BUT, he could've stumbled across a shelter or something. I'm trying to be optimistic.
:hug:
As for Ginkgo... I'm not supposed to avoid blood thinners. It's just me being paranoid lol. Because of my family history, I'm supposed to be tested every so many years, but my last scan was back in 1998 or 1999 :roll: Every now and then, I expect my neglect to bite me in the rear (like not having a pap in 12 years or so even though cancer runs in the family too :bang: )
I NEED to get off my butt and get all of this done, but hubby's at war with the local hospital and they "own" pretty much all of the other doctors in town. I need to get my thyroid tested too because my scores were off (low) when I last had my blood drawn...
And more anxious thoughts begin :panic: Let me get back to Farmville and forget reality exists...
All psychedelics make me feel utterly at peace one way or another. Not always, all the time, but eventually I hit a point where I just have to let go and then I get to experience pure bliss and surrender.