Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Everytime I take my adderall or vyvanse (ADD/ADHD medications) I do everything BUT homework. Like now. I just wrote practically a two page paper in ask/tell that is 90% pointless. I've been drinking martini's and posting on the internet for the past five hours. Jesus. I know I'm going to come down five hours from now and regret the shit out of this entirely unproductive day.

It doesn't help that the papers I should be writing are almost a week late... I am my own worst enemy and always will be.

Just reread this is and this complaint is so freaking self-indulgent. My friends have been making fun of me for years because I create my own problems and then complain about them like it's the end of the world. Maybe I need real problems in my life? Pretty much everything has been given to me and I remember reading that humans will find ways to make themselves unhappy, no matter their socio-economic standing. I'm not depressed, far from it. But actually feeling content and happy is such an alien thought process to me I can't fathom it. Anyone know what I mean?

Originally Posted by Grod

Everytime I take my adderall or vyvanse (ADD/ADHD medications) I do everything BUT homework. Like now. I just wrote practically a two page paper in ask/tell that is 90% pointless. I've been drinking martini's and posting on the internet for the past five hours. Jesus. I know I'm going to come down five hours from now and regret the shit out of this entirely unproductive day.

It doesn't help that the papers I should be writing are almost a week late... I am my own worst enemy and always will be.

The problem with that stuff is that it makes it hard to stop doing whatever you happen to be doing at the time. I would recommend that you start working on something productive, and THEN take the medication to help you focus. When used at opportune times, ADHD medication can work wonders, but when it's just used at random times it isn't really much help.

But don't even get me started on that stuff's addictive nature and negative side-effects (which include but aren't limited to) :

nervousness

restlessness

difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body

headache

changes in sex drive or ability

dry mouth

stomach pain

nausea

vomiting

diarrhea

constipation

loss of appetite

weight loss

fast or pounding heartbeat

shortness of breath

chest pain

excessive tiredness

slow or difficult speech

dizziness or faintness

weakness or numbness of an arm or leg

seizures

motor tics or verbal tics

feeling unusually suspicious of others

hallucinating (seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist)

mania (frenzied or abnormally excited mood)

aggressive or hostile behavior

changes in vision or blurred vision

fever

blistering or peeling skin

rash

hives

itching

swelling of the eyes, face, tongue, or throat

difficulty breathing or swallowing

and hoarseness. Just sayin'.

Originally Posted by Grod

Everytime I take my adderall or vyvanse (ADD/ADHD medications) I do everything BUT homework. Like now. I just wrote practically a two page paper in ask/tell that is 90% pointless. I've been drinking martini's and posting on the internet for the past five hours. Jesus. I know I'm going to come down five hours from now and regret the shit out of this entirely unproductive day.

It doesn't help that the papers I should be writing are almost a week late... I am my own worst enemy and always will be.

Just reread this is and this complaint is so freaking self-indulgent. My friends have been making fun of me for years because I create my own problems and then complain about them like it's the end of the world. Maybe I need real problems in my life? Pretty much everything has been given to me and I remember reading that humans will find ways to make themselves unhappy, no matter their socio-economic standing. I'm not depressed, far from it. But actually feeling content and happy is such an alien thought process to me I can't fathom it. Anyone know what I mean?

Yeah, I get what you mean and experience that too. When I was on adderall I was the same, and still am even being off it. For some reason, it's a lot easier to write things yourself, even if they take as much or more brainpower than a homework assignment would. I think it's because we've ingrained our our minds that 'homework' is 'work', something we 'have to' do as so we get stressed at the idea of doing it. While if it was something we'd decided to do ourselves we'd find it a lot more fun.

Yeah, I agree that humans will try to make themselves unhappy no matter their situation. Even if their lives seem wonderful to outsiders, they'll find some small problem and it will build up until it's as stressful to them as any 'real' problem. We get used to feeling certain things. Let's say someone is happy 24% of the time and unhappy 76% of the time (that's way oversimplified). It's hard to get out of that pattern, the brain is used to releasing those 'happy' and 'sad' chemicals in certain doses every day, enough so that it's hard to just change immediately, even if the person's life changes so that he now has more reason to be happy. I've read something interesting happens with people who undergo terrible tragedies, like losing limbs. At first, their happiness level declines drastically. But after time, it will gradually go back to what it was before the incident.

Originally Posted by SnowyCat

The problem with that stuff is that it makes it hard to stop doing whatever you happen to be doing at the time. I would recommend that you start working on something productive, and THEN take the medication to help you focus. When used at opportune times, ADHD medication can work wonders, but when it's just used at random times it isn't really much help.

But don't even get me started on that stuff's addictive nature and negative side-effects (which include but aren't limited to) :

[list of side effects]

and hoarseness. Just sayin'.

You're entirely right. I'm very aware of the side effects of ADD drugs too...I was addicted to them for two years. Had some amazing times, but it's hard to remember anything but the awful awful times I had as well. That's a good idea about starting homework and THEN taking the drug. The problem is I might get temporarily distracted cleaning my room, checking emails/facebook/various internet sites and think "Oh cool! No more work!" and be in that anything-but-work-mode for god knows how long. Do you have experience combating this specific activity pattern? It's so hard to break out of.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Yeah, I get what you mean and experience that too. When I was on adderall I was the same, and still am even being off it. For some reason, it's a lot easier to write things yourself, even if they take as much or more brainpower than a homework assignment would. I think it's because we've ingrained our our minds that 'homework' is 'work', something we 'have to' do as so we get stressed at the idea of doing it. While if it was something we'd decided to do ourselves we'd find it a lot more fun.

You're definitely right about the 'work = not fun'/'anything but work = fun' patterns we box ourselves into. The thing is, I would even like doing this paper. It's a paper on examining a work by Oscar Wilde, who I've always been a fan of. It's getting past that barrier that's the hard part. Ten minutes from now and I'm going to start. That's me half hoping.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Yeah, I agree that humans will try to make themselves unhappy no matter their situation. Even if their lives seem wonderful to outsiders, they'll find some small problem and it will build up until it's as stressful to them as any 'real' problem. We get used to feeling certain things. Let's say someone is happy 24% of the time and unhappy 76% of the time (that's way oversimplified). It's hard to get out of that pattern, the brain is used to releasing those 'happy' and 'sad' chemicals in certain doses every day, enough so that it's hard to just change immediately, even if the person's life changes so that he now has more reason to be happy. I've read something interesting happens with people who undergo terrible tragedies, like losing limbs. At first, their happiness level declines drastically. But after time, it will gradually go back to what it was before the incident.

That's an interesting point about the body getting used to feeling certain levels of happiness/sadness/boredom/love etc and replicating those feelings. I'd wager it's as much psychological as it is physical. No matter what, we're doing it to ourselves. One of the hardest parts to come to terms with, whether it's destruction of friendships, drug addiction, depression, laziness, self-destructive behavior, etc...it's easy to blame your problems on others but difficult to come to terms with them yourself.

Originally Posted by Grod

You're entirely right. I'm very aware of the side effects of ADD drugs too...I was addicted to them for two years. Had some amazing times, but it's hard to remember anything but the awful awful times I had as well. That's a good idea about starting homework and THEN taking the drug. The problem is I might get temporarily distracted cleaning my room, checking emails/facebook/various internet sites and think "Oh cool! No more work!" and be in that anything-but-work-mode for god knows how long. Do you have experience combating this specific activity pattern? It's so hard to break out of.

Yeah, I've been down that track a few times... It isn't a great place to be at all. I would have to agree with Dianeva that everything is a lot easier when you get out of that "work" mentality; I managed to get off of my reliance on using Adderall to get things done after I went to college, and started doing things that I actually WANTED to do, instead of things that someone else told me I HAD to do. It's a hard mindset to get out of, but if you can, the rewards are enormous.

For as long as I can remember people have been coming to me to talk about their issues. Even though there are universal themes that run through all the tragic stories of humanity, every person brings a unique life story to the table. A different set of circumstances, a new condition, a new setting, a new family setup, a new set of players.... I'm always astounded at how blatantly there is always some new angle I've never considered before despite all the stuff I've been told and personally experienced already. There are always new ways to end up feeling lost or hurt or confused. Sometimes I feel like I'm building a puzzle with an infinite number of pieces. I start with one piece and just add to it, and with each subsequent piece I see a little more of the big picture, but no matter how many that brings me up to I'm just as far from completion as I ever was.

There is so much pain in this world. I just wish I knew exactly how to heal everyone....

That was beautiful Aly.

I REALLY love having the "Like" feature back

Aly. What a sweet-heart you are.
Sadly, it seems as though we can't heal anyone. We can only guide them through their journey and lend whatever support we can.

Grod. I know what you mean. It's like, whenever I'm alert and somewhat energized, I just don't want to waste it on "chores" lol

My rant is that my left ovary is hurting a lot It's my own fault though for all the caffeine I've taken. My period has NEVER been this uncomfortable before. Ever.
My previously broken wrist is hurting a lot today too. I might have strained it while moving that huge desk into my room.
I'm also hungry... not starving hungry, just munchy hungry, but I don't want to eat all my supplies.
Ooooh, I could eat one of my Slim Jims. Ugh... but then I'll get heartburn lol and I really need to go to sleep at some point. So scratch that idea
Oh well. I'll eat to the point of rupture later in the day...

Originally Posted by Dianeva

That was beautiful Aly.

Thank you, I was hoping to express myself well. I've been feeling that way a lot lately. Sometimes the weight of the world gets a little heavy, but it is what it is. Anyway, I already feel better equipped to face it head on. Just being able to share here really takes off some of the pressure and let's me regroup and reanalyze. I've just been getting hit with a lot of heavy situations lately and I want to make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to respond to them.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I REALLY love having the "Like" feature back

Aly. What a sweet-heart you are.
Sadly, it seems as though we can't heal anyone. We can only guide them through their journey and lend whatever support we can.

I know, isn't great to have the likes again?

I'm afraid you're right, ultimately everyone has to get to where they're going on their own. I can just hope I've left some kind of impression, any pain lessened is a win for me. Thanks for the kind words.

Alright, it's probably about time I went to bed. My mind's starting to feel a bit overworked.

Goodnight DV, I love you all.

Sweet dreams

Ugh... I have insomnia again. What the friggin heck? It's being caused by good old fashion over-thinking/over-worrying. What am I going to do for food and (more importantly) smokes after tomorrow? I also need to get a phone card because Exxon's calling my son on Friday to set up the interview. I thought it had a time to show up on Friday, but he doesn't.
Hubby dropped $30. a person for the buffet when we went out to eat with his daughter the other day. That $30. could have gotten me by for 3-5 days. Next time we go out, I think I'll ask for a soup and cash instead
I'm annoyed and resentful. I have no right to be either. He's just trying to prepare me for when he's forced to retire. There will be no budget do-overs for me once that happens.
And how in the world am I ever to visit my daughters or buy my meds?

To top it all off, I've still not heard anything about my youngest son. I guess I should check my real facebook account (the one I never use but my mom insists on using the most lol). I called her on Tuesday but she hadn't heard anything.

Blec....

@Zhaylin; start meditating! Seriously, it's amazing for insomnia, you might even get WILDs out of it!

My rant is an extension of yesterday's.

I met a girl the other night. She was fun, funny, cute. We share a lot in common but we're fairly opposite in personality, we seemed to compliment each other. I felt like there was some attraction coming the other way. I got her number. I've texted her today and even though it's been a couple of hours my brain is going nuts with analysing everything.

I'm infatuated even though I barely know her, I don't know what she's like. I think I'm in this self-destructive mode of attaching to girls who don't give a shit about me and would probably be bad for me if we got together.

My anti-rant is that the girl texted back

Hehee, glad she texted you back

I never have problems with insomnia. I have a couple working stories I daydream about every night and I always fall asleep before I get to the really interesting bits lol (within 10-15 minutes). My brain's been impossible to turn off though. I can't even daydream because my anxieties force their way through
I slept from around 8-11 this morning. We had Thanksgiving with hubby's employees and it was fun. The food was delicious. But hubby and I both were especially anti-social and fatigued so we didn't stay long at all.
I apologized for not returning the tuperware container and I seriously felt like crying She said it was no big deal, that she goes through a ton of those things, but I still felt lousy. But it passed quickly.

Now my son just called me a grumpy douche He's being overly sensitive because he has no smokes. Sorry sonny, but I have less than a pack left. No, I will not share with you. Go away
Then he got all pissy because I refused to buy him a pack with my change. I told him I had $3. in change (it was really $4. ). I went out to get my soda so there goes .95 Again, I'm not spending the last of my CHANGE on you, hobo. Go away.
I told him to gather up those Coke cans but he didn't. Now live with it, kiddo.

Maybe I am a bit cranky
I've been popping my chest since returning from Chicago. Thankfully, it's remained exceptionally mild, but it's still annoying as heck. And I'm actually have having cramps from Mr.Monthly on top of everything else. What the heck. I NEVER cramp.
I get backache. ANd when I'm not on Celexa I can't walk because it feels like someone kneed me in the crotch a few thousand times which is brutal but I've not dealt with it for years thanks to meds. These cramps are alien to me lol and I don't like it one bit

I repeat... blec....

Hope everyone else is having a terrific day though!!

And they said to me: "we're all mad here"

But I didn't believe him, nor his widening grin-

As if Mad was the norm by what standard was it mad?

Obviously the politics is all over there but....

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

When you vote you're not voting for a party, you're voting for a person.

This is not true. It's made out to be like that in America, but you're voting for a party.
It's just easier for people to relate to a person and that's why they make it seem like you're voting for a person.

Also, regarding being forced to vote.... I think it's a good thing, and mandatory voting is good too.
The reason I figured out, during your elections this time, that mandatory voting is better is that when it's optional you only get the radicals voting.
Then you end up with extremes on both sides of the spectrum and nothing in the middle.
A lot of moderates still vote but the extremists probably make up a large majority and they also push their message even harder to try and get people to get off their arse and vote.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I just looked up the real song to that and honestly thought I had accidentally come across another parody. I thought it was a parody the entire way through..... but it turned out to be........ the real song.... what lol

Reminds me of when I came across Bieber on youtube one day. Thought it was a parody and was chuckling to myself, then just slowly came to the horrid realisation that it was real and millions of people loved it.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

I wanna move to Australia so bad omfg. Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane or Canberra please

I've just gone across Australia from Melbourne to Cairns.
Move the fuck up to QLD. As long as you like hot/humid weather. It is incredible up there.
I drove through between Innisfail and Cairns for 2 hours or more and on the way back I realised it was only a 20-25 minute trip lol
I was just driving so slowly on the way there looking at all the mountains and trees and everything.
Sugar cane grows everywhere up there and you can smell it in the air. It's paradise. Almost. Maybe a little too hot for me.
There are also Mango and Paw Paw and Coconut trees everywhere, even on the side of the road, best Mangoes I've ever had.

Originally Posted by Taffy

I heard the story of Laika today, and now I'm all... depressed. I'm sure I've heard of it before, but I didn't know much about it until recently. Really sad event.

I found a song about that on youtube a while ago that made me almost cry.
Found it - Pretty quiet


Here's a cover

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

For as long as I can remember people have been coming to me to talk about their issues. Even though there are universal themes that run through all the tragic stories of humanity, every person brings a unique life story to the table. A different set of circumstances, a new condition, a new setting, a new family setup, a new set of players.... I'm always astounded at how blatantly there is always some new angle I've never considered before despite all the stuff I've been told and personally experienced already. There are always new ways to end up feeling lost or hurt or confused. Sometimes I feel like I'm building a puzzle with an infinite number of pieces. I start with one piece and just add to it, and with each subsequent piece I see a little more of the big picture, but no matter how many that brings me up to I'm just as far from completion as I ever was.

There is so much pain in this world. I just wish I knew exactly how to heal everyone....

It's really satisfying, in a strange way, when you gain some new perspective and it ties all this other stuff together.
It's happened a lot to me recently and I feel like I've been such a fool and should have realised whatever it is far earlier.

stop breeding you fucking rats

Originally Posted by tommo

Obviously the politics is all over there but....

This is not true. It's made out to be like that in America, but you're voting for a party.
It's just easier for people to relate to a person and that's why they make it seem like you're voting for a person.

Also, regarding being forced to vote.... I think it's a good thing, and mandatory voting is good too.
The reason I figured out, during your elections this time, that mandatory voting is better is that when it's optional you only get the radicals voting.
Then you end up with extremes on both sides of the spectrum and nothing in the middle.
A lot of moderates still vote but the extremists probably make up a large majority and they also push their message even harder to try and get people to get off their arse and vote.

People don't have to do what their party says though, there have been lots of times when people were portrayed as far more liberal or conservative than they actually are and did some things that many of their parties were against. No one has the exact same views as their stereotypical party views, most people anyway.

If there was mandatory voting in America (which there never will be) then it would also drastically increase the amount of people voting who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. The majority of people who don't vote do it because they don't care. What's so bad about having the people who are actually emotionally invested in it and understand politics vote?

Originally Posted by tommo

It's really satisfying, in a strange way, when you gain some new perspective and it ties all this other stuff together.
It's happened a lot to me recently and I feel like I've been such a fool and should have realised whatever it is far earlier.

Yeah, the picture is always much more complicated than it seems. I can only imagine what will seem so obvious tomorrow that we've been oblivious to our entire lives as of now.

Welcome back, by the way.

My rant is that I accidentally took an overdose last night lol. I was only allowed to take 4 pills a day and I took 6 (2 right before going to bed). I went to bed at 11pm and I couldn't fall asleep, I was still wide awake at 4am. My stomach and my chest hurt so badly. But I'm okay now Anti rant; I've been keeping a dream journal for 30 weeks now yaay. I wrote in my DJ every morning

Originally Posted by Crashyy

My rant is that I accidentally took an overdose last night lol. I was only allowed to take 4 pills a day and I took 6 (2 right before going to bed). I went to bed at 11pm and I couldn't fall asleep, I was still wide awake at 4am. My stomach and my chest hurt so badly. But I'm okay now

I'm glad you're okay! What did you take? :O

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I'm glad you're okay! What did you take? :O

Thanks and I forgot the name of that medicine, it's still at my mums house so I'm not sure. It was just a "heavy" medicine for my stomach

Just got my results from a test that i made at home for school, and i only got a 5/10.. First i sended it before the deadline just to see if everything was correct and that i didn't make any big mistakes at my test. She said that she looked very quickly and that everything looks good. So i sended it in and then i get these results from her. Not gonna lie, but i don't like her anymore..

Also still searching for my future girlfriend, but i'm kind of losing my hope!



The good thing is that i'm able to release all my negative emotions in the gym.

Everything makes perfect sense. Everything. It always falls perfectly into place.

I don't know why I'm ranting about this. I learned my new obvious thing I never noticed before of the day.

DV is fucking up and it just deleted my whole post about an awesome Datura dream. Fuck you Dreamviews, get your shit together.

What is this about "caspian?" am I the only one who saw that?

And is it weird that when I googled it, it's a sea in Russia?