Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Showed up late to class because my comp clock is off. Study group got smart with me as soon as I entered the room. Acted like prissy bitches till the end of the day.

Went to the skate park...pulled my groin......couldn't skate anymore.

Was supposed to meet up with someone later that night, but she never texted me again.

Went out to the usual spot...but the owner was acting fishy......so I couldn't get back in there when things shut down.

Spent the rest of the night walking home.....yes it takes me 5 hours to walk 8 miles.

I really don't give a fuck at this point because I really felt things this stupid was going to happen.

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Originally Posted by Zhaylin

My rant/rave is that I may know of something that has been greatly contributing to my fatigue: Dry eyes. Yeah. Stupid. lol If my eyes are dry or irritated (like after crying), I can't stay awake. It seems to trick my brain into thinking I'm sleepy.
I've known my room is dry for some time now, but I never realized the extent until this evening.

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That's strange, never heard that dry eyes could be a cause before. I know whenever I cry I do get tired, but it seems more to do with the stress. I hope it works and that your fatigue goes away soon. :)

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Originally Posted by Auron

Showed up late to class because my comp clock is off. Study group got smart with me as soon as I entered the room. Acted like prissy bitches till the end of the day.

Went to the skate park...pulled my groin......couldn't skate anymore.

Was supposed to meet up with someone later that night, but she never texted me again.

Went out to the usual spot...but the owner was acting fishy......so I couldn't get back in there when things shut down.

Spent the rest of the night walking home.....yes it takes me 5 hours to walk 8 miles.

I really don't give a fuck at this point because I really felt things this stupid was going to happen.

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Sorry to hear that. It sounds like bad coincidences just piled up.
Since you were expecting your day to be terrible, perhaps you even did things to make them more likely. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

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I finally watched that "Honey Boo Boo Child" thing because I've been hearing about it a lot over the last month or so from youtubers, etc.

And it made me want to shoot myself. I facepalmed a total of four times even though I don't think I've ever physically facepalmed in my life and never really understood the desire to pseudo-smack your own face with your hand but after watching that I do.

I feel sick even remembering what I saw. Even though it obviously isn't anywhere near 100% real, it still scares me. I admit it feels a little good to witness people like that because it places the watchers on about every type of high-ground there is. I suppose that's why so many people watch it. But that feeling isn't strong enough to overcome the pure disgust I feel, so I'm never watching it again.

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Originally Posted by Woodstock

wtf?

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You never heard of the saying "The stick that broke the camels back" ?
Basically, I was saying once person alone cannot change anything but when you add to the pile, and eventually the camel's back (corrupt governments, bad laws, racism or whatever problem you are fighting against) will break.
That post was in response to Dianeva saying those IRL things feel too big to fight, just in case you didn't realise lol

My rant:
And just for the people that have been complaining that some of us swear too much. Do not read this, because this will contain more swear words than usual for my rants. Now fuck off :)

Ok, so I procured a commission for two paintings but I will have to finish them before I leave on Wednesday, she wants them by the 20th or so but I won't be here.
My boss asked me to come in on Tuesday, I said yes but today I said "can you just call me if you absolutely need me?" (every time she's asked me to come in on public holidays it's been quiet and it's a waste of time anyway).
And I explained about the paintings and now she's acting all bitchy.
What the fuck!? Seriously I have fucking come in to work 90% of the fucking times that you've rang me up, even 10 or FIVE fucking minutes beforehand!
Now you're going to act like a little bitch because I need to only come in if you need me so I can spend time on some actual real work????
FUCK. YOU. You little cunt.

And she was whispering some thing to the guy there (obv. about me) and probably making it so I knew she was as well.
Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!?????!??!!?!?!?!?!!??????
You've been out of high school for more than 20 years!
And I asked why can't she just get the other person to come in and she's like "she's on standby".
WOW.... okay, so that fat bitch is fine to be on standby but not me even though I actually have shit to do?
In what universe does a person not realise how retarded that is?
FUCK@@$$NWENWEN#@!!!!!QW##@ UGHGHDHHHHHH AHSHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK

That said, it could just be hormones and shit, since she's pregnant. Any women care to chime in on this possibility? Or is that just a lame excuse?
Either way, it still pisses me off.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?? :panic:

http://i45.tinypic.com/k9jr6c.png

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Originally Posted by Crashyy

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?? :panic:

http://i45.tinypic.com/k9jr6c.png

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I think Mostly Television and Radio are too blame, well that and the parents that allow their kids to watch that kind of stuff.

My sister Lets her five and seven year old watch the movie, Jennifer's Bodies, amongst other movies that are rated R and all I could think was, I can never Leave my kids with you.

She actually lets her kids watch everybit of it, the killing the sex, Yeah good job raising kids, your seven year old daughter not only knows how to have sex, but she also knows what a condom is and what it does.

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Originally Posted by ZeraCook

I think Mostly Television and Radio are too blame, well that and the parents that allow their kids to watch that kind of stuff.

My sister Lets her five and seven year old watch the movie, Jennifer's Bodies, amongst other movies that are rated R and all I could think was, I can never Leave my kids with you.

She actually lets her kids watch everybit of it, the killing the sex, Yeah good job raising kids, your seven year old daughter not only knows how to have sex, but she also knows what a condom is and what it does.

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I totally agree

Reading that back the last part seems kind of fucked up, I mean lols bitching that someone knows how to use a condom, thats usually a good thing, but the point is this kid shouldn't know what sex is.

Last 1 and half days, I got to spend some time with an amazing person. Despite of the electricity coming on and off (and after they left, I realized I could've pressed the Reset button that stuck out for better electricity), I had a good time with that person.

I look forward to seeing them within a few weeks again, but here's the rant.

Rant:

While I think that I can plan things out for that person to come over again, ALL of a sudden, my father has to go out of state for a work trip after the next week coming up, which means my paranoid guest is going to come YET again DURING the week that other person I made plans for to come.

She started using excuses like "I had Sleep Paralysis" and "wasn't used to this sleeping problem." Bull fucking SHIT it had to do anything with Sleep Paralysis.

I told her straight up that Sleep Paralysis is not a valid excuse for you to come here. Of course, my father is there, so I did it indirectly, she shuts up, and then explains other bullshit to me that she has to come.

She did just fine during the week when my father went off state, but that damn bitch is paranoid. Again, I do not understand how coming into this area, that is clearly more dangerous, is going to make ANYTHING better.

To be honest, she does not need to exist, she has nowhere to go, relies on someone, and comes here expecting me to have the best security. I only have a freaking 4 lock system, that's not high-class security woman!

Dear fucking lord, use your brain and realize that coming here isn't going to make things better. If I'm out to take care of other shit, I can't save your ass, sure I can call 911, but you're not going to drop dead or anything like that.

So now....I have to deal with this woman after the week coming up finishes, and that SAME week, I have a Math Exam on Tuesday. I......I........WHY?! I was going to look forward to the other person I care about more coming here, and YOU just came in, RUINING my confidence.

You.....that's just not fucking fair! I'm sorry I'm cursing, but that's REALLY not fair.

Too bad it's illegal to kill people. I'm trying to say that with morbid jest, but that's probably not even possible...

That's really too bad Link....



Whatever, hopefully, she isn't going to stay here for 2 weeks, because that was just unbearable. I was ---> <--- close from screaming at her, and making my father pissed if she told him about it. THIS CLOSE. And I have to deal with her again.

NO....NO...you are DETRIMENT to my happiness god damn it. You coming here is not going to be better. You're a fucking adult for god fucking sake, I'm still a damn child, barely any competence with the real world.

Just.....whatever.

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Originally Posted by tommo

You never heard of the saying "The stick that broke the camels back" ?
Basically, I was saying once person alone cannot change anything but when you add to the pile, and eventually the camel's back (corrupt governments, bad laws, racism or whatever problem you are fighting against) will break.
That post was in response to Dianeva saying those IRL things feel too big to fight, just in case you didn't realise lol

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No, I hadn't heard that before. Now it makes sense and I agree. I thought you were drunk when you said that. :lol:

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Originally Posted by khh

Oh, what were you arrested for? My guess would be public intoxication :cheeky:

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I meant to write this response the other day when I liked it but I've only been online sporadically. Nice guess, but it was for drug paraphernalia. :P It wasn't actually related to Halloween at all, it was just bad timing lol.

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Originally Posted by khh

So, I finally got around to getting a psychiatric evaluation. After I'd explained what brought me there for ~30 - 40 minutes, he assigned me some tests. Today he called, and said he would be referring me to a more specialized clinic, while also recommending I speak to my doctor about starting with SSRIs. I guess it's nice to know I wasn't just imagining things, but ... gah...

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You know, doctors hand out SSRIs like candy because they're one of the non-abusable classes of drugs. I would give this some serious consideration. The side effects of SSRIs are generally not worth it unless you literally can't live your life without them, and they don't even work for everybody but some of the side effects can be permanent.

I'm Dissapointed in myself... I lasted two days before I couldn't take it, Everyone could tell i Was stressed, and its only from not smoking weed. I don't see why growing up in school they said that Weed was the easiest thing to quit, because its just a mental addiction. Apperently they never were addicted, you know how hard it is to quit something, without concrete self motivation? Sure, i'm trying to quit for a job, but why? why should I have to quit? sure I won't show up to work baked of my ass, I never have, but to make me drug test before I'm hired, I don't see the point. But I need too. I think Mental Addictions are probably the worst, Like a girl mentally addicted to an abusive man.

My girl is living five hundred miles away, and I can't take it. I'm already sabotaging our relationship, but its only because of how far away she is, to have to think about her all day, and then never gettin to be with her. Not to mention she is always busy, never has time to text or call me, but she has time to go out. I really think I should just end it, but I'm so looking forward to her coming back and actually being with me, but I need a job first, so I need to quit smoking, Then I get Stressed, to the point where I can't do the relationship then I'm Stressed, Depressed, Still not really able to quit, and lacking motivation to continue my fruitless, seemingly Pointless job search.

Feels like a never ending cycle of building myself up only to disappoint myself time and time again.

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Originally Posted by tommo

My rant:
And just for the people that have been complaining that some of us swear too much. Do not read this, because this will contain more swear words than usual for my rants. Now fuck off :)

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Inb4: Gone forth and multiplied already. :D

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Originally Posted by ZeraCook

My girl is living five hundred miles away, and I can't take it. I'm already sabotaging our relationship, but its only because of how far away she is, to have to think about her all day, and then never gettin to be with her. Not to mention she is always busy, never has time to text or call me, but she has time to go out. I really think I should just end it, but I'm so looking forward to her coming back and actually being with me, but I need a job first, so I need to quit smoking, Then I get Stressed, to the point where I can't do the relationship then I'm Stressed, Depressed, Still not really able to quit, and lacking motivation to continue my fruitless, seemingly Pointless job search.

Feels like a never ending cycle of building myself up only to disappoint myself time and time again.

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Oh man, I know how you feel with your girlfriend. Once, I was in a relationship with a girl that I loved more than anything in the whole world. Unfortunately, I had to move here to Chicago, and leave her behind. I thought about her everyday, and I would have dreams about getting married and having kids and everything. About a month later, she stopped answering my calls. A few weeks afterward, I had a chance to go and see her again.

I can still hear the sound of my knuckles on her door, and feel how great it was to see her beautiful face again after so long. Then I saw another man I didn't recognize walk up behind her in the doorway. She told me it was over, and asked me to leave. The door slammed in my face, I flew back to Chicago, and besides my cat I have lived alone ever since.

Long distance relationships don't work. Get out while you still can; before something terrible happens.

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Originally Posted by SnowyCat

Long distance relationships don't work. Get out while you still can; before something terrible happens.

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I know, Me and her have done this dance before, thats why she's moving here this time. We were younger then, We met at a concert when I was sixteen, Now were actually ready to start a life, now that were not kids. I love her and she loves me, I'm gonna try hard to get her here, The only reason I'm feeling like this is the distance, Once thats conquered we will be great. It was tested every summer I was in school.

Tommo, Here we say it "The straw that broke the camels back"
Just like it's "knock on wood" instead of "touch wood".
I think those subtle differences are strangely neat lol

Yeah, allergies which irritate or dries out my eyes makes me sleepy too. I don't know why the heck I didn't try the eye drops sooner. I guess I just didn't realize HOW dry my room was until I saw that bread lol
I need to get some decent drops from hubby though. I friggin hate gel drops and that's all I have other than allergy drops which burn something awful.

:hug: Auron. What a crappy day!

:hug: Link. Just breathe. :chuckle: I'd want to strangle her too. Pregnant or not, there's no reason to be so passive aggressive.

My rant is that I friggin fell back to sleep after my post :roll: I slept from 7:30AM-3:30PM. But it was very good sleep for a change, so I guess that makes it better.

When I checked my email, I saw a link from hubby https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...=6wBzR7zhA0g#!
:smitten: I actually got all teary in a good way.

I've been obsessive over a couple questions:
Do wolves PLAY and make softer beds for themselves in the wild? When my dogs are pups, I don't really play with them. I just take them outside and let them run and play on their own. But a few of them (over the years, unconnected to one another) would pick up pine cones and toss them into the air and then chase them down. They've played with rocks similarly.
And then there's the comfy thing. Even in areas where there's carpeting, if there are clothes on the floor, the dogs will gather them up to make a softer bed. They've even made "pillows" before. Do wild dogs/wolves do such things?

Ah well, time to watch some Hulu.

Lols my dogs do the same, but I'm not sure if Wolves do. Thats a tough question to just be thought through, because, dogs are supposedly the outcome of wolves being civilised, and they obviously learn from us. So dogs are made up of what they already had learned from wolves, but also humans. I have seen wolf pups play and I know they dig dens, so Im sure you are right that wild wolves do do such things.

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Originally Posted by ZeraCook

I'm Dissapointed in myself... I lasted two days before I couldn't take it, Everyone could tell i Was stressed, and its only from not smoking weed. I don't see why growing up in school they said that Weed was the easiest thing to quit, because its just a mental addiction. Apperently they never were addicted, you know how hard it is to quit something, without concrete self motivation? Sure, i'm trying to quit for a job, but why? why should I have to quit? sure I won't show up to work baked of my ass, I never have, but to make me drug test before I'm hired, I don't see the point. But I need too. I think Mental Addictions are probably the worst, Like a girl mentally addicted to an abusive man.

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I agree that psychological addictions can be difficult to get over. I was definitely addicted to Adderall for a couple years. My psychiatrist had told me not to worry because it wasn't chemically addictive, implying it's easy to stop. But it wasn't. It was hell to go a single day without taking one, The rare times I'd find the will to try, my mind felt like a chaotic mess and I could barely function, and I'd end up just taking another rather than deal with it. I'm also in a slightly similar situation to you. Not with the addiction so much, but I'm in a long distance relationship too, my boyfriend is coming here soon and I need to get a job so that we can move out together. The only thing keeping me from it is procrastination and fears involving applying for jobs. But I imagine an addiction to something you'll be tested for would make it a lot worse, so I'm sorry you're going through it.

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Originally Posted by ZeraCook

My girl is living five hundred miles away, and I can't take it. I'm already sabotaging our relationship, but its only because of how far away she is, to have to think about her all day, and then never gettin to be with her. Not to mention she is always busy, never has time to text or call me, but she has time to go out. I really think I should just end it, but I'm so looking forward to her coming back and actually being with me, but I need a job first, so I need to quit smoking, Then I get Stressed, to the point where I can't do the relationship then I'm Stressed, Depressed, Still not really able to quit, and lacking motivation to continue my fruitless, seemingly Pointless job search.

Feels like a never ending cycle of building myself up only to disappoint myself time and time again.

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It doesn't sound like you two are communicating very well, from this description. If she does want to end it or just isn't taking it very seriously, you need to figure that out. Tell her what you said in this post and discuss both of your intentions, if she's having second thoughts, etc.

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Originally Posted by SnowyCat

Oh man, I know how you feel with your girlfriend. Once, I was in a relationship with a girl that I loved more than anything in the whole world. Unfortunately, I had to move here to Chicago, and leave her behind. I thought about her everyday, and I would have dreams about getting married and having kids and everything. About a month later, she stopped answering my calls. A few weeks afterward, I had a chance to go and see her again.

I can still hear the sound of my knuckles on her door, and feel how great it was to see her beautiful face again after so long. Then I saw another man I didn't recognize walk up behind her in the doorway. She told me it was over, and asked me to leave. The door slammed in my face, I flew back to Chicago, and besides my cat I have lived alone ever since.

Long distance relationships don't work. Get out while you still can; before something terrible happens.

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I wouldn't say it's so black and white as "they don't work." Most don't work, but some do. In general I think it will have a better chance of working if neither person is very socially active with people they may be interested in. When there is someone close to you who is right there, who has a body you can touch, and you can also connect with them emotionally.... then it's easy to forget about the person 500 miles away who you can only see every few months. Of course when sparks first start flying, the person remains dedicated to their long-distance partner and doesn't make a move. But if they keep hanging out together, things will escalate very gradually until feelings become unignorable, finally the person starts justifying their desires.

They also won't work if the people don't take time to talk to one another, a lot. With the lack of physical affection, the two must rely on communication, and this can even strengthen the relationship. Finally I think there needs to be some plan to live closer to one another eventually.

That story was really sad though, sorry to hear it. :( I've got some sad stories too, tragedy sucks.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I agree that psychological addictions can be difficult to get over. I was definitely addicted to Adderall for a couple years. My psychiatrist had told me not to worry because it wasn't chemically addictive, implying it's easy to stop. But it wasn't. It was hell to go a single day without taking one, The rare times I'd find the will to try, my mind felt like a chaotic mess and I could barely function, and I'd end up just taking another rather than deal with it. I'm also in a slightly similar situation to you. Not with the addiction so much, but I'm in a long distance relationship too, my boyfriend is coming here soon and I need to get a job so that we can move out together. The only thing keeping me from it is procrastination and fears involving applying for jobs. But I imagine an addiction to something you'll be tested for would make it a lot worse, so I'm sorry you're going through it.

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Your psychiatrist is full of shit. :shock: Adderall is amphetamine, i.e., the street drug speed. It is literally the exact same chemical (except when people say it to refer to meth, aka methamphetamine), and it can be extremely physically and mentally addictive. Wowza, how the hell did they get that job?...

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Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Your psychiatrist is full of shit. :shock: Adderall is amphetamine, i.e., the street drug speed. It is literally the exact same chemical (except when people say it to refer to meth, aka methamphetamine), and it can be extremely physically and mentally addictive. Wowza, how the hell did they get that job?...

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lol.. I have heard that before. But she did say that, don't know how she got the job. Maybe it just wasn't known at the time? It was about 9 years ago.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

lol.. I have heard that before. But she did say that, don't know how she got the job. Maybe it just wasn't known at the time? It was about 9 years ago.

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I'm pretty sure they knew back then, speed has been a pretty big street drug for a while lol. But I can't say how well-known it was by doctors that Adderall falls under that category. However, ignorance of the drugs you're prescribing is no kind of excuse at all.... I'm sorry you went through that, stimulant withdrawals are not fun. :( Amphetamine is easily as addictive as cocaine, and much moreso if you do enough. (Though cocaine's short duration can make it a little more fiendy in the right crowd, but chemically it's the same.)

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Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Your psychiatrist is full of shit. :shock: Adderall is amphetamine, i.e., the street drug speed. It is literally the exact same chemical (except when people say it to refer to meth, aka methamphetamine), and it can be extremely physically and mentally addictive. Wowza, how the hell did they get that job?...

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If we ever have any drug questions, we should just ask you.

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Originally Posted by Woodstock

If we ever have any drug questions, we should just ask you.

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I'm always willing to help out if you ever have any questions. :P For years straight drug research was the only thing I ever did in my free time, both on and off the field. I'm filled with all kinds of usually useless pharmacological knowledge.

That is obvious lol, glad to have Aly for that.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I agree that psychological addictions can be difficult to get over. I was definitely addicted to Adderall for a couple years. My psychiatrist had told me not to worry because it wasn't chemically addictive, implying it's easy to stop. But it wasn't. It was hell to go a single day without taking one, The rare times I'd find the will to try, my mind felt like a chaotic mess and I could barely function, and I'd end up just taking another rather than deal with it. I'm also in a slightly similar situation to you. Not with the addiction so much, but I'm in a long distance relationship too, my boyfriend is coming here soon and I need to get a job so that we can move out together. The only thing keeping me from it is procrastination and fears involving applying for jobs. But I imagine an addiction to something you'll be tested for would make it a lot worse, so I'm sorry you're going through it.


It doesn't sound like you two are communicating very well, from this description. If she does want to end it or just isn't taking it very seriously, you need to figure that out. Tell her what you said in this post and discuss both of your intentions, if she's having second thoughts, etc..

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Thank you, I worked it out with her, She's still coming, i just couldn't take it how it was, and she couldn't either, we were trying to be like we were already together, at that distance. I'm in the same boat, of getting a job before she comes, its hard, but like I said I need to quit smoking, everyone here drug tests for weed, I think i'm gonna start smoking cigs again, to help with the stress. Besides my GF said shes gonna quit when she gets here, even though I told her she didn't have to quit for me.

My brother has this deaf friend (or business partner but they separated) who I've never met. I went out to smoke, my dad and brother were talking at the dining room table which you can't see from the kitchen. Then I heard my brother's voice but it sounded like he was speaking a different language, I couldn't understand anything he was saying and it scared me. I thought I was going crazy. So while passing them about to go upstairs, I said "Max you're talking in a weird voice right?" just to make sure, and they looked at me, and then I realized there was another person sitting at the table, who I realized in that moment must be my brother's deaf friend. I panicked and said "oh sorry I thought it was just Max and dad here and his voice was different... thought I was going crazy..... I'm sorry" and went back upstairs. I felt fucking terrible about it. I basically just told the deaf person he talks weird. I wasn't even going to say anything, just decided to for some reason. His voice sounded like my brother's....

I finally sort of got over it, had talked about it with someone else and had stopped feeling so bad about it a few minutes later, when my dad knocked on my door and came into my room and made me feel like shit for what I'd said. This sort of passive-aggressive thing in which he laughed about it and said that was really bad, can't believe I came in the room and said that, hopefully he didn't hear me. Yeah I already feel like shit about it and am trying not to, definitely don't need you coming in here making me feel worse about it as if you assume I didn't care before or something. Then as though that wasn't enough he says "drinking some beer?" I have like 7 beer cans on my desk but half are from yesterday, and I told him that. Then he looks around my room and says "wow dear you're a bit of a pig" implying my room is really messy but is also an insulting way to say it. I said it doesn't matter, it's my room, no one even walks by here since it's at the end of the hallway. And that's true. I was in the best mood possible before this and now I feel like complete shit. Fucking thanks.

*accidentally posted this on happy & cheerful twice in a row, wtf*