Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

My (Anti) Rant is that I had my fourth lucid dream last night. Like it was a dream within a dream and I woke up in my room but it looked so different then my own room. So I sorta assumed I was dreaming. I had a bit of awareness (Semi-Lucid). I started touching things but it looked so normal so I did a reality check but it failed and then I went back to sleep in my dream. Then the dream went on normal and I got attacked by a blue goldfish. It could've been one hell of a lucid dream if that reality check didn't fail D:

Me every morning:

I don't know whether I actually want to go ALL the way up to Queensland anymore.
But I know if I go get a job, I won't be able to really have any long holiday for years.
And I've never really been on a holiday, a proper one anyway, I've only been on holiday with family and stuff.

It may just be one of those "I don't want to go to this damn party" "OMG THIS IS AWESOME I NEVER WANNA LEAVE!" things.
But.... it's a damn long way. And when I get back it'll be a pretty shite time to look for jobs. I think it'll be around November 25th or so.
ARghhhh.... but I also need to tell my boss I'm going to leave, and I need to do that soon, so I need to decide.

Actually, I should probably leave that job anyway, even if I don't end up going. Hm.... fuck decisions.

What's wrong with the people in this world ffs? She killed herself 3 days ago, that video made me feel sick tbh.

Playing with my friend today and getting myself into a headache because things were so fast paced reminded me why I am always playing alone. It wasn't intentional though, I bumped into him online and I didn't reject his offer to do a party quest together. My head is still spinning.

/FirstWorldProblems

My sleep pattern is so messed up... the last few days I've been crashing at around 8 AM and getting up again between 16 and 19.

Originally Posted by stormcrow

I'm a creepazoid. This girl at work has been "on my nuts" (I hate that phrase) so to speak since I started working there but she is 4 years my junior (She is 18) so naturally my first inclination was to ignore her advances but she persisted and I found it rather cute and amusing but the other night I dont know how but I ended up kissing her and she let it slip in the heat of the moment that she loved me. I'm kinda, sorta freaking the fuck out now. The feelings are not reciprocal as I barely know her and I just find this whole situation batshit insane. She is sweet but apparently insane, sexy insane but insane nonetheless.

I cant ask anyone what to do because I am kind of ashamed of my actions, I really was not thinking straight (but you reap what you sow) and furthermore I cant confess this heinous sin to a priest as I am not religious so I figured what better audience to confess to than the folks in the Rant/Rave thread. So there you go. I'm a goddamn creep.

It is nice to see you posting again and I hope it continues.

What's odd is that I came dangerously close to doing the same thing about 8 months ago with a guy from school who was 19, almost 4 years my junior. He was mature for his age and intelligent and liked me. My mind was fucked up at the time and I just wanted some hint of affection so we flirted online and I suggested we kiss and he agreed to kiss me the next day while we walked together. But I didn't really like him and definitely wasn't interested in a relationship with him. He didn't know this, had never kissed a girl and I knew he'd be upset if his first kiss had been with someone who was basically using him for superficial desires. So I caught myself and made myself explain everything to him the next day. He didn't want to kiss me anymore and was upset, sent me a long e-mail expressing frustration over never finding anyone. But the result was much better than it would have been if I would have gone through with it, and then he had to find out later after believing he's found his future wife that I wasn't interested in him. I felt like a valueless wanton slut at the time, even though it was affection/closeness I desired and not sex, it was still on a superficial level.

I don't know why I told that whole story since I know the situations are different (well maybe because I've missed reading posts from you and got excited). Except that you might want to tell her you aren't interested before things get out of hand so you don't hurt her. Or not depending on her values. Maybe she just wants a casual fling and doesn't care that you don't like her very much. And if that were the case then continuing would be harmless.

I decided to do Laundry today, since I figure I could make all two bus routes in time, without walking TOO much. Things go perfectly, and when I'm done with laundry, I'm walking with like 80-100lbs of clothing, because this is like two weeks laundry, along with someone' who's staying for a few more days.

The bus that goes to near my apartment makes its last run at 5PM, I arrive at the bus stop that's ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fucking way in campus at 5:15 PM. So I decided to call someone I know to check the Route 15 bus route, and it turns out it really IS 5PM.

I'm sitting on the bench looking like a fucking idiot, I was wondering why no one is near the bus stops. I was close to cursing at the person who I asked for help out of anger for my own stupidity for not double checking on the Bus route schedule. They just said, "Sorry." *twitch* That's the wrong time to apologize and show concern of my situation here.


I swore that before I left, it would make its last run at 5:45 PM.

Also, when I did get on the bus, before I go to the laundry, and before I even get to the campus, I try to carry this heavy weight on my arm, and the bus driver immediately starts to drive while I'm still standing up within 3 seconds of coming in. Like really, you asshole, there's no fucking rush for anything! Especially since your ass isn't going to fucking pick anyone up after 5 PM.

Fucking asshole. Then when I'm waiting for the bus to drop me off at the campus so I can head back home, there's this girl that's repeatedly saying "Excuse me, Excuse me." Why it's a big deal?

She first says it quietly, then she goes Bonquisha Mofisha Laquisa Bon Qui Qui on me for no apparent reason. I know she's trying to hide it, because if she acted more than a little bitch, I would've pushed her off the road along with whatever body form is tagging along with her....okay, I wouldn't do that, but somewhere in my psyche, it was already formulated.

Don't act like a bitch to me! I can't fucking hear you, SPEAK louder you fucking cunt, but just don't scream! She's asking me if the bus has already past the other way.....well...first, use your fucking brain you twat face cunt, I'm CARRYING 80LBS or more of CLOTHING....WOULD I BE HERE IF THE BUS WAS HERE ALREADY? NO!!!!!

God fucking damn it!

I swear, one of these days, bitches are not going to like it when I get pissed. I'm fucking nice for a reason, so I don't go fucking "Wayne Brady gonna choke a bitch" on your ass.

/rant



Anti-rant: I bought some White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies with Peanut Butter Cookies that were $1 off. FUCK YEAH! If someone wasn't staying in this apartment with me for a few days, I would be demolishing every single piece.

lol, Dianeva, I WISH my hubby would enjoy them I'm in a sexless marriage. It's been 2 or 3 years since we shared a bed even to sleep in

But I am getting fat. I hadn't realized how horrible I look until I passed a huge wall mirror in a store today. My boobs aren't the only things getting bigger I'm a definite Pear Shape now-a-days.

Crashyy, I read a little about that this morning on CNN. They said YouTube had removed the video and they only showed a couple snippets. Thank you for posting the entire thing. I would have thrown my computer out if I was her. Or made her do so if I was her mom. People can be such assholes.

My rant is just that I'm sleepy (as was expected having mostly skipped sleep last night).
I had a good time with my daughters.

**EDIT**
I now have an almost overwhelming sense of foreboding. When I got home, my bedroom was an absolute sauna. My heat was completely open. My oldest son always gets on my computer when I'm gone. He couldn't have spent any time in here...
And then I get a weird message from my youngest boy who disappeared off-line last night. I figured he just went to bed (it was 2AM). The message was " I go by by" then "hi, hi, wat r u doin?" The message in itself is normal for him.
But I just tried calling my mom and her cellphone went straight to voice mail.

Hopefully, she's just talking to someone right now.

But now, I'm going to go check on my oldest boy to see if he's still alive and I'm going to keep trying to get ahold of my mom *sigh*
My sleep deprived brain is telling me my oldest son is dead and my youngest ran away and my mom is dead from her infection

... My oldest boy lives Though he's not too happy for having been woken up

Originally Posted by Dianeva

It is nice to see you posting again and I hope it continues.

What's odd is that I came dangerously close to doing the same thing about 8 months ago with a guy from school who was 19, almost 4 years my junior. He was mature for his age and intelligent and liked me. My mind was fucked up at the time and I just wanted some hint of affection so we flirted online and I suggested we kiss and he agreed to kiss me the next day while we walked together. But I didn't really like him and definitely wasn't interested in a relationship with him. He didn't know this, had never kissed a girl and I knew he'd be upset if his first kiss had been with someone who was basically using him for superficial desires. So I caught myself and made myself explain everything to him the next day. He didn't want to kiss me anymore and was upset, sent me a long e-mail expressing frustration over never finding anyone. But the result was much better than it would have been if I would have gone through with it, and then he had to find out later after believing he's found his future wife that I wasn't interested in him. I felt like a valueless wanton slut at the time, even though it was affection/closeness I desired and not sex, it was still on a superficial level.

I don't know why I told that whole story since I know the situations are different (well maybe because I've missed reading posts from you and got excited). Except that you might want to tell her you aren't interested before things get out of hand so you don't hurt her. Or not depending on her values. Maybe she just wants a casual fling and doesn't care that you don't like her very much. And if that were the case then continuing would be harmless.

Its nice to hear from you too, I hope you are well. I'm certain the boy is on the verge of suicide because of your callous indiscretion, that was very despicable of you Dianeva. Just kidding. I'm not going to dispense any "you did the right thing" remarks, your actions have already made an impression on the world you cant undo them, you just have to move on and so does he....although if I were you I would have kissed him for the sole reason of being someones first kiss, I'm a narcissist like that but surely you knew. As for the girl well we did have a short but sweet fling yet it burnt out just a few days ago. I didn't hurt her; my crazy scared her off, I have a tendency to do that to people.

Originally Posted by stormcrow

my crazy scared her off, I have a tendency to do that to people.

ugh same

I'm wondering what kind of winter it will be this year. Hm.

I think and almost hope it's going to be a brutal winter... at least here in my neck of the woods (West Virginia). I dislike cold weather, but we had such a mild winter last year that the insects are insane this year (well, the amount of them anyhow ) We need a good winter to wipe a lot of them out.
Especially the fleas
I'm still blown away by all the Praying Mantises I've seen this year. Some years, I don't see a single one. This year I've seen maybe a dozen and a couple of them were the length of my hand and I have long hands (Piano Player hands NOT Hulk hands lol)

My anti-rant is that everyone is fine and the foreboding feelings has left me. I crashed at around 11:30 and woke at 5AM freezing. SO I hopped into the shower and then stayed awake until about 9AM. I kept nodding off though so I went back to bed and slept until 2
And I finally had some dreams worthy of going into my DJ

My rant is just that I feel Blah. Though I had some decent dreams, I don't know if I have the motivation to actually record them. I need to check my games but... I don't really want to. I should eat but........... blah.
Just blah.
lol

Originally Posted by stormcrow

Its nice to hear from you too, I hope you are well. I'm certain the boy is on the verge of suicide because of your callous indiscretion, that was very despicable of you Dianeva. Just kidding. I'm not going to dispense any "you did the right thing" remarks, your actions have already made an impression on the world you cant undo them, you just have to move on and so does he....although if I were you I would have kissed him for the sole reason of being someones first kiss, I'm a narcissist like that but surely you knew. As for the girl well we did have a short but sweet fling yet it burnt out just a few days ago. I didn't hurt her; my crazy scared her off, I have a tendency to do that to people.

(got into a rant which has little to do with the actual story)
Short sweet flings are nice, so it's good to know you got something out of it. Well he and I haven't been talking anymore, probably because it's hard to get over that kind of beginning-relationship infatuation if it's cut off abruptly for pretty much any reason other than letting it happen and finally dying out or becoming that endless love type of thing, because as soon as you see the person again that terrible burningdesire/infatuation shit kicks in (well terrible if you've already decided not to be with them because you can't and then the craving just seems to get even stronger). So the only way to stop it is to ignore it and try to forget the person exists. Sorry but I'm really tired, haven't gotten much sleep in the last couple days and have a terrible headache, barely remember what I was talking about originally lol or how I started ranting about this thing I've observed in life.)

Oh right. I'm lucky enough to have already been two people's first kisses, but I was greedy and yeah that is one of the reasons I wanted to. In most cases the problem would seem nonsensical, but this guy's mindset toward sex and relationships is kinda like that of a Catholic without the religion (which is probably one reason I never felt much toward him). Getting the feeling this whole post is a mess, sorry about that to anyone who read it. BTW Stormcrow I think I've owed you an e-mail for a while and plan to do that sometime soon. Same with a couple other people on this forum.

Your post made perfect sense Dianeva
I've had that feeling too and it really is brutal to try to continue being around them. Only, for me, the person had no idea I was crushing so hard and we were both married so it was a non-issue (no kiss, no stolen moments, no nothing lol).

My rant is that I'm still tired. But I know why. I run marathons in my sleep. My son came into my room as I slept and earlier he asked "Do you know you kick your legs a LOT when you sleep?"
I still feel blah and do not want to go anywhere or do anything, let alone grocery shopping. I don't even care that I'm out of smokes. I'm feeling THAT blah lol

An anti-rant is that Tiny has a babysitter. One of the kittens was crying loudly so my son and I searched around the bed for it. It was stuck between the mattress and the wall. I had been petting a "Tiny" to let her know I was looking for her baby. It wasn't Tiny at all, but her son from her last litter He looks too much like his mom!! Tiny was outside using the bathroom and Paulie laid with the kittens while she was gone. He even bathed them
Initially, my son had been extremely uncomfortable with Paulie's interest. I told him that mom would chase him off if she didn't want him there and to leave him alone.
I love being right

When I watch the show "Curious George," I want to freaking kill that monkey. I can even do a perfect imitation of his voice that it's embarrassing.

It's the only show that I can watch Sunday nights, unless Family Guy or American dad miraculously comes on, which sucks, because I never have the T.V. on in the first place during the weekdays. PBS fucking sucks.

I like Family Guy and American Dad because they're stupid and somewhat funny, and I prefer cartoons over shows with humans, it's more pleasing on my eyes I guess. But for a monkey that doesn't fucking know that the cube goes in the hole with the shape of a cube, I just want to go to another universe.

So what if he's not real....those monkey sounds are annoying. And I can't turn it off because I don't want my guest to be bored. And I'm too lazy to move to my bed, because I'll just feel too relaxed.

Lol, WAHHH!

Bleh.

Your guest must be VERY special for you to be torturing yourself to the point of death. Well, I would die I'd jump out of a tall window to escape that monkey!
Nah... I actually like Curious George. At least I think I do. It's been decades since I last saw a show. My kids were never into him.
I think I'd jump out the window to escape the guest. Visitors are like fish, or so they say. After 3 days, both start to stink

My rant is a bruise on my head and the fact that I'm awake.
I went BACK to bed at 8PM or so. I remember trying to turn my head, in my dream, so I could see someone to hand them something. The wall was in my way though lol. I had turned a LOT in my sleep. In my dream, I violently turned and whacked my head a good one IRL
I don't recall much about the dreams, only that they were a combo of Prison Break and Suits. I marched "Gretchen" into the lawyers office to get rid of the General who was playing at Hartman.
At some point, I even dreamed of a Coke explosion. I guess I was thirsty lol and I've had too many unstable bottles.

I got out of bed because the puppy was spazing at my door, trying to claw her way in. I yelled at her to go away, and then she just laid out there crying. So I got up

Visitors are like fish, or so they say. After 3 days, both start to stink

LOL Zhaylin, this is why I love you, you are amazing. I am honestly close to hitting rock bottom in this boiling fish bowl.

I'm SO sick. All I've done for 12 hours is throw up, and want to die.
Anything I eat comes straight back up, even just jelly. I think this is by far the worst I've ever felt.
I also have no energy, I literally can't walk more than a few steps, and I really struggle to type.
Boredom is also a really lame factor, all I can do is lay in bed, waiting to throw up.
I know it sounds dramatic, but just let me complain for once D:

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

I'm SO sick. All I've done for 12 hours is throw up, and want to die.
Anything I eat comes straight back up, even just jelly. I think this is by far the worst I've ever felt.
I also have no energy, I literally can't walk more than a few steps, and I really struggle to type.
Boredom is also a really lame factor, all I can do is lay in bed, waiting to throw up.
I know it sounds dramatic, but just let me complain for once D:

I think you have every right to complain. o.o That sounds terrible! Do you have any idea what it is yet?

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

I'm SO sick. All I've done for 12 hours is throw up, and want to die.
Anything I eat comes straight back up, even just jelly. I think this is by far the worst I've ever felt.
I also have no energy, I literally can't walk more than a few steps, and I really struggle to type.
Boredom is also a really lame factor, all I can do is lay in bed, waiting to throw up.
I know it sounds dramatic, but just let me complain for once D:

Keep your fluids going in...avoid the solid food, even the jelly.

If it doesn't clear up within 24 hours of onset see your doc.

Come back strong.

Glad I could help bring a smile to your face, Link

Yuppie. Complain away!! I second everything MelanieB said. I hope you feel better VERY soon.

I have 3 rants:
I fell back to sleep AGAIN, from around 9AM-1PM.
But I finally feel awake and alert.
I had a bad dream of taking a turn too quickly along a cliff road and I rolled the RV several times and ended up at the bottom of the cliff in some water (a pond perhaps). Then hubby got mad at me, in the dream, because I had "driven that road" dozens of times and knew to take it slowly.
Yeah. I've dreamed about that road often. And I always roll a vehicle on it lol. But I have no memory of it IRL.

2) TMI alert
My bowels last night were almost impacted. I finally delivered a poop baby and thought I was going to die. I bled so I'm certain I'm going to be sore for quite a while. I'm still constipated-ish. What the heck? My diet has IMPROVED (more veggies, more REAL food). This is crazy

3) I got a call from the DHHR today. My daughter left school and walked straight to the facility which mediates foster families. The case worker wanted me to stress to her the importance of taking personal responsibility and too let her know she messed up majorly. She's staying the night with the foster family but she's being moved to a shelter first thing tomorrow. It's the same shelter my youngest learned the "pass out game" and ran away from
Then my daughter called and filled me in on the rest of her side of the story.

She had a Doctor appointment and the foster mom insisted on going in with her. My daughter wanted privacy and insisted she go alone. The foster mom supposedly told her to go to hell. When she was dropped off at school, the foster mom proceeded to yell at her and tell her she was so mad she didn't want to see my daughters face. "Fine", my daughter thought "I don't want to see yours either." So she left the school and went somewhere she thought they would help.
She's been asking to leave that family for months and felt this was the only way anything would happen.
The real kicker is, the Doctor said it looks like she has shingles. Likely stress induced but not contagious. I think he's full of it or my daughter misunderstood. I saw her rash over the weekend. It looks like a heat rash a little lower than the bottom of a bra would be. And teens don't typically get shingles. But she's been put on some sort of anti-viral yet the foster family wont pick it up. She has to wait until tomorrow to start taking it.

A) If she truly does have shingles, she needs to be isolated, doesn't she?! I have heard it's HIGHLY contagious.
B) If she does have it, it's because stress totally killed her immune system which is just ridiculous for a 16 year old kid.

UGH!!

Zhaylin - I think you're maternal instinct is just kicking in. I'm sure the doctor has a sound idea of what he's doing
Your situation sounds rough, but it'll all work out in the end! But yeah, doctors are generally pretty competent, even GP's study for over four years.

Thanks for all the well wishes guys, I'm feeling better
I'll try to go back to school tomorrow, provided I make it back to my normal state.

I am not happy at the current moment. Two steaks went bad which I just bought yesterday. I just put a thermometer in the fridge to make sure it's cold enough. Not yet sure if I purchased bad steaks or if the fridge is going bad. ...just bought a new f***ing fridge.

Originally Posted by anderj101

I am not happy at the current moment. Two steaks went bad which I just bought yesterday. I just put a thermometer in the fridge to make sure it's cold enough. Not yet sure if I purchased bad steaks or if the fridge is going bad. ...just bought a new f***ing fridge.

Don't let it get the bacon!!!

Save the bacon!!!