Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by tommo

Ahhhhhh no! What? You don't want lowered blood pressure as a side effect. Unless you have high blood pressure of course.
JWH causes way low blood pressure and panic attacks. That's not a good thing.
Give me wholesome Cannabis any day. Fuck synthetics and trying to make it better. You can't make it any better. Of course you can mix the compounds from the plant to different ratios, but that's about it.

Weed lowers your blood pressure too. Unlike with high blood pressure, you'll actually notice symptoms if you start overdoing it, like dizziness and nausea. It's not really that huge of a deal, I've actually had that happen with weed far more than any synthetics. I have had one too many tangos with JWH-018 though, it's possible to smoke very high doses without having a panic attack in the right frame of my mind but the hallucinogenic effects are still hollow and empty, more like a psychotic delirium than anything. Sitting around at home in the middle of the night hearing people smash into the house through the windows talking about how they're going to kill everyone and steal all your stuff, screams that come out of nowhere and disappear just as fast, that kind of stuff. JWH-250, on the other hand, I really love. It's a highly hallucinogenic cannabinoid and it feels like a dissociative with a psychedelic visual component to me, in the sense that it has increasing-intensity visuals like color distortion, fractal patterns, facial recognition in random objects, and that kind of stuff while leading up to, rather than an ego death like serotonergic psychedelics, a dissociative hole-type experience, like ketamine. I used to dump huge amounts of the powder on to every bowl of dank I'd smoke, back when I was young and reckless. >w< We called it psychedelic weed crack.

Point is, I like to treat the synthetic chemicals as their own hallucinogens, not measure them up to cannabis. You really can't get any better or safer than mushrooms (in my opinion) but that didn't stop me from trying tons of synthetic psychedelics as well. It's not that I don't still think weed kicks ass.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

And doggone it Aly- you just reminded me of a rant I've been trying to forget. The lawn mower guy got to my flowers before I could stop him. Most of them anyhow. But it's way more complicated than I figured it would be. Or my reading comprehension is much worse than I thought
I read pods appear after the flower dies for the year and you can get the seeds from those. My morning glories are wild and grew up with a bunch of weeds and most of them are what I call thistle (no idea what they actually are lol) but they release all these white floaters like dandelions do before they flower. They've grown together to such an extent that they look like one plant. Then we got a couple cold snaps and the flowers were droopy and dying-looking. No pods though.
Then the lawn mower guy attacked.

Aren't the ones you buy at a store somehow chemically altered so people can't get high off of them?

Haha, sorry Zhay. That's a bummer. :T

The seeds you buy at the store CAN be coated with gardening chemicals which you don't want to ingest, but it will say if they have anything like that in them on the package, and in my experience they usually don't. I've tripped off of store-bought seeds a good few times, and a friend of mine used to use them all the time.

I ate too much! My stomach might explode any second now..
Farewell people..

rofl Ekyu I hope your passing was quick and painless

Thanks for the heads up Aly. That will definitely be the easier way to go then (just getting them from the store).

I leave for the Farm with hubby in 11 minutes. He's already cranky. He woke me up but I got 13 hours of sleep so it's all good. I just dread his grumbliness once we get up there.
I really don't want to go anywhere.

My ears are gurgly. What's up with my ears lately? They're driving me batty.

No problem, Zhay. :3

*sigh* My rant today is that music just doesn't get as loud as I want to hear it. If I can't WILD off of the vibrations, there's not enough bass.

I went to my counselor yesterday to talk about what I can do to make sure I do well for this degree and all, and because I let her know the mess I'm in, she still recommends that I try to sign up for some organizations, because "statistically," it's made student's grades go up more.

Loooool, you know I'm in a predicament where if I do mess up, I'm kicked out of the university for good right?

Dang it, she knows I don't have a car, and with so many people in this university in the first place, shouldn't she realize that it's best to wait my junior year and senior year to find potential colleagues? (because most of the people I hang around with are in departments far away from mine)

There was only 80+freshmen last year that took this degree, the majority of them probably dropped out for pretty damn good reasons, it's too rough, and the department is confined, so you don't really have that many options to hang around with people, who are basically Honors classes whores spamming every ounce of their energy in finding loopholes to the grading curves on exams.

She's essentially suggesting me that I should go into this battlefield, go to someone refilling a shell to launch another strike, and tap their shoulder and ask if I can hang out with them, and make them scared that they initiate the strike too early, and at a bad angle, so that everyone in the area dies!

There's no way that's possible for me! I've seen a few familiar faces from before, and before I get the chance to be social and give them a proper introduction of myself, they're zipping by faster than the speed of the light! And when I DO get the chance to talk to them, they're like,

"UH UH UH UH UH UH, I'm sorry! I have to get to my Molecular Genetics Class on time!"

Okay scratch that off my list.....

Get a free extra football ticket, and try to keep in touch with those same people of my degree, and then get the cold shoulder.

Alright, there's still few more options...scratch that as well...

Ask to make a study group, then they become too paranoid that the study group would be mostly "Hey guys, let's eat!!!!!!"

Then we forget to STUDY.

*facepalm*

*scratches off list again*

The REC center is for free, I can probably get one potential colleague of mine to play recreational tennis, haven't played for months though, but still remain optimistic about things, get a meeting with them, play, realize I DO suck because I'm stale from over a year of not playing, mess up the whole friendly nature.

Look at her face, realize she's becoming irritated, but is trying to be nice...then if I schedule another appointment for her to play with me, I get,

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..*static * BREAKING UP with you CRRRRRRK! CRRRRK I can't hear you??!?!? WHAT??"

*scratches off list*

Actually GET someone who wants to hang around with you, have a decent time eating yogurt, something simple, nothing too much dramatic, but deep down, we know that both of our mindsets aren't matching...especially when the girl has parents who basically taught her to be tough as nails.

Would YOU like a girl who could be a DOM naturally trying to be nice to you? It's like seeing passive-aggressiveness all over man, it's SCARY. Especially when she talks about her past relationships...goodness, I don't give a FUCK about your relationships, do that to some guy who want to be your boyfriend!

*scratches off another one in the list*

I only want to hang out with you, nothing deeper than that! Just a platonic relationship, and I mean no sexual acts as in giving each other "the eye," the occasional inappropriate handshake (PLEASE DO not use your mother to show that I'm a potential husband when I JUST got to know you) and you winking at me to the point where I can barely keep my jaw opened on how you just raped me with a handshake, still not knowing we're just trying to be just good colleagues.

Then play the little game of seeing if "Does he like me???"

Talk to someone outside of class that I talked to for a while, get to know them a little better, plan out a study group (because that's basically the only way that's safe where they aren't creeped out), then the next day, they sit somewhere else in class.....

Which means you have to try and directly sit next to them and continue being nice, they repeat the process over again, and there's no sign of any time for us to hang out.

Damn.

If I'm trying to be nice to you, have good hygiene (I hate people who can't even use a deodorant properly), and I'm NOT out to try and do anything further than just keeping the interaction as potentially good friends, AND you actually have time....it's not me....it's the other person pussying out.

Both Male AND Females.....and don't get me started on trying to be friends with Engineers....LOL.

These people need counseling, not me. Lmao. And this isn't counseling for insane people mind you, just your basics, nothing too serial killer type kind of treatment.

I'm not this kind of person:















I'm the person who'll actually try to understand the shit you're in, relate to you, respect you, and not be such a pussy towards you at all! Dumb fucks, you hit the jackpot, and you forget to collect it in the first place.

/bleedyoureyes -off

It seems that if you don't have a Facebook, you're always running around blindly if this person is in a relationship from an overprotective partner, or someone who thinks you're a homosexual because you're too nice to them.

LOL, are you kiddng me?????

Link. Sounds VERY frustrating!!

My trip with hubby didn't go half-bad. He was cranky, but not unbearably so and that was only at the house and seeing the trash in the yard and that people had gone inside the house again. The basement door was wide open and the boards over a crawl space in the bathroom were off so he nailed everything shut. One of the windows was open and all of them were unlocked.
On the way home I told him I felt ashamed about the trash in the yard, but that I refused to feel bad about it because I asked for his help countless times before and after it got to that point. He told me we had trash service and I reminded him that they never found us. I also broke down and told him my youngest daughter lost my iPod. He took all of that very well.

When we got back home I went out for hotdogs and a soda. I've been playing Facebook games since then and falling asleep in my chair.
I need to sweep the bathroom.
I'm going to try to replace the hose tomorrow.

I did talk to my mom briefly earlier this evening. She sounds like she's on deaths door. She's had a "cold" since June. It's in her chest and you can hear the rattle. Her doctor hasn't called her back so she's going to hunt him down next week because she was supposed to have surgery to clear her nasal passages.

I've tried watching Prison Break, but I just can't get into it this evening. I feel too blah...

I just got back from living with my boyfriend for half a year. I was happier than I've ever been there, and now it's over and will be for a long time. Since being back I've felt a sort of numbed depression. I'm lonely, I got so used to having him there all the time and this sudden separation is almost unbearable. Every little thing that's different here seems to taunt me, to tell me it's my life, that the last 6 months was some amazing dream that could never really happen. And it saddens me how quickly I became accustomed again to everything here. After the initial day or two of strangeness, I felt almost as though I'd never left. There is nothing wrong with the place I live, but I've been so unhappy here throughout most of my life, it seems like hell right now in comparison.

Dianeva. Sounds like it's going to be a rough adjustment I'm sorry those 6 months came to an end.

My rant is trivial. I just wasted about 2 hours looking up Numerology for myself and my family I was JUST looking for the significance of numbers to help me with my most recent craft project. But I stumbled onto an excellent site, then found another one.
Because misery loves company, here are the links
What Your Name Means (Numerology)
I found the second site looking for "Soul Urges" and "Inner Dreams".
It's Numerology: the lifepath numbers explained

My name, soul urge, inner dream info was eerily accurate. My Life Path bombed big time though lol
Supposing there is truth to all of this, I'd be interested in learning how certain things are canceled out or strengthened.
My Life Path is an 8 which basically makes me everything I grew up to hate. I found such traits undesirable so I retrained myself to pretty much eliminate them from my makeup and to strengthen the traits which are found in the rest of my numbers.
My Number ("Expression or Destiny") is 6
Soul Urge is 22
Inner Dreams 11

I think it's cool that I have 2 "master numbers"

What's even cooler is how my and my kids numbers match (to me or each other). But our Life Paths are all different.
My oldest sons numbers are 6, 4, 11 (and my 22 could be reduced to 4 lol)

Anyhow... I find all of this stuff really neat but I hate having spent so much time on it (but really, what else have I to do lol)

at times i find it difficult to find the right words to describe how i truly feel about something.

Playing this game at 2:39am (it's a psychological/horror); I'm all alone in the house... At one point I managed to trip over after jumping out of my chair. I have a minor concussion now.

lol, sounds like fun LightofHeaven (minus the concussion though )

I get jumpy when I skip sleep which humors me to no end because it normally takes a lot to make me "flinch". I was getting soda late last night and there was a build up up fizz in the machine so it would violently shoot out a few times. I flinched and giggled each time and then realized I must have appeared insane giggling at the fountain machine

My current rant is that it's too dark. I'm in one of my moods where the lights can't be bright enough. It seems like the "contrast" to the world is out of order and it's just not BRIGHT enough. No one understands this complaint lol. It's probably because I've been in front of the computer for WAY too long (or something). There's no reason I have these fits but it puts me in a dreadful mood if it continues long enough.
To help illustrate... I've never used light coverings, globes and what-not. All of the lights throughout my home are bare. I've always been this way. People think it's tacky but I could care less. When the contrast of my world seems too high, I can't concentrate. I can't even SEE to do basic needlework.
The kicker is: there is absolutely nothing wrong with my vision. So it's all in my head which just makes me crankier lol.

Fuck you, lungs. You too, strange lesion. And especially you, incompetent lazy-ass family doctor. D:<

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Weed lowers your blood pressure too.

Oh yeah, I know that. But you said you want the synthetic one that lowers BP even more? I can't understand why.
I think it's a big deal because it gives people panic attacks. Not directly of course, but because the heart starts compensation and beating harder and faster, they get scared and freak out.

Also I'd say being able to handle all the trippy effects is because of you. You're not scared of that type of thing, and further you've tried hallucinogens before.
But when people try that synthetic crap thinking to get high....

Eh, I think I mostly just have a grudge against the synthetics. I wouldn't want to see more of the same on the market for some scum to make money off.
For example, you wouldn't really compare them to Cannabis, so if they were sold they shouldn't really be called synthetic cannabis, or marketed as such. It should be some other name and not sprayed on leaves etc.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Dianeva. Sounds like it's going to be a rough adjustment I'm sorry those 6 months came to an end.

My rant is trivial. I just wasted about 2 hours looking up Numerology for myself and my family I was JUST looking for the significance of numbers to help me with my most recent craft project. But I stumbled onto an excellent site, then found another one.
Because misery loves company, here are the links
What Your Name Means (Numerology)
I found the second site looking for "Soul Urges" and "Inner Dreams".
It's Numerology: the lifepath numbers explained

My name, soul urge, inner dream info was eerily accurate. My Life Path bombed big time though lol
Supposing there is truth to all of this, I'd be interested in learning how certain things are canceled out or strengthened.
My Life Path is an 8 which basically makes me everything I grew up to hate. I found such traits undesirable so I retrained myself to pretty much eliminate them from my makeup and to strengthen the traits which are found in the rest of my numbers.
My Number ("Expression or Destiny") is 6
Soul Urge is 22
Inner Dreams 11

I think it's cool that I have 2 "master numbers"

What's even cooler is how my and my kids numbers match (to me or each other). But our Life Paths are all different.
My oldest sons numbers are 6, 4, 11 (and my 22 could be reduced to 4 lol)

Anyhow... I find all of this stuff really neat but I hate having spent so much time on it (but really, what else have I to do lol)

Interesting stuff. I'd never really taken a look at Numerology. I figure it's about as hit-or-miss as Zodiac readings. When I put my full name in (complete with two middle names) it didn't seem to fit very well. (Wanting success in the business or political world? Yuck!) Plus it said I was social and upbeat all the time, which just isn't true.

When I ripped out the middle names, suddenly it seemed to fit a lot better.

My expression number was 7, which is all about introspection and analysis. I've always been quite the shy bookworm.
My soul urge number was 4, which says I basically want a stable life. This one is tricky. I've always hated change and surprises, but if things stay the same for too long, I get bored. I guess the big thing is that I want any changes that do happen to be under my control.
My inner dream number was 3: It says I dream of artistic expression and to be able to better express my feelings, and to be appreciated and loved. Spot on. Those have always been my weak points and I'd love to develop them, and get an intuitive side. In intuitive matters, I'm a brick
Finally, the life path number is 9. Selflessness, modesty, compassion. Not caring about material wealth much. I'd like to think that describes me perfectly (although, to say so isn't all that modest ).

All of that though didn't come from my true "full" name. So I might have cheated. Hard to say.

Originally Posted by tommo

Oh yeah, I know that. But you said you want the synthetic one that lowers BP even more? I can't understand why.

Oh, I was just saying that's the reason the military liked it. It incapacitates soldiers more easily. I was pointing it out because it does increase the side effect profile of THC, but not in any dangerous way. As I said, the LD50 was found to be roughly 2000x the EC50, meaning that there's no way you could really overdose on it, so if you're good at keeping level-headed during a potential panic attack it's a perfectly usable drug. The main reason I want it is because of the very long duration.

I think it's a big deal because it gives people panic attacks. Not directly of course, but because the heart starts compensation and beating harder and faster, they get scared and freak out.

That's true, though a lot of it is just perceived. You can actually get so high that your heart beats become just a constant buzz because they're going so fast, but it's obviously not really happening. I think that's going to happen at some point from the high whether your heart's actually thumping or not due to the large dynorphin release, I think of it as analogous to fear hallucinations from getting really intense vibrations. Not that that changes much to unsuspecting newbies, though.

Also I'd say being able to handle all the trippy effects is because of you. You're not scared of that type of thing, and further you've tried hallucinogens before.
But when people try that synthetic crap thinking to get high....

Eh, I think I mostly just have a grudge against the synthetics. I wouldn't want to see more of the same on the market for some scum to make money off.
For example, you wouldn't really compare them to Cannabis, so if they were sold they shouldn't really be called synthetic cannabis, or marketed as such. It should be some other name and not sprayed on leaves etc.

Fair enough, but like I said, I don't use treat them as something in relation to cannabis. I don't think anybody should, and I wouldn't have them being sold in blends if it were up to me. I'm just saying why can't we get these actual THC analogues instead of the JWH family considering that they ARE sold in blends lol. The panic attacks would be less intense, the dangerous side effects would be zero, and the successful highs would be long-lasting and more similar to THC in feel than the synthetics we have.

Really, I would've loved to see many more of the synthetic cannabinoids hit the underground research chemical scene like any other RC and just float around for a while being treated as full hallucinogens rather than causing a lot of problems all out in the open and getting made illegal. In my personal experience, all cannabinoids (including THC) seem to create an effect on the mind (but not on the body) that is almost indistinguishable from mushrooms in style, but do have slightly different trip themes per substance. It's a shame that so many of them are banned even just because they bare similarity to JWH-018 these days, but I guess it is what it is. At least I've still got weed for my psychedelic revelations.

Kinda got stuck in canada for longer thanexpected I'mstill there, and my first love thats now my ex is talking to me and I feel like shit about it.

Gavin and Zera

lol Singularity. You cheated big time But I've honestly heard different things about including middle names so who knows

I was born April Dawn Vernon and the numbers fit perfectly. I've tried my adopted name (took on step-dads name) and my married names and those are dead wrong. Interestingly, my Cyber Name fits almost as perfectly as my birth name.
But my Birth Date was WAYYY wrong lol
I think you're right about the hit and miss thing

But I love numerology for other purposes... like passwords
After the DV hack, I had to change my much loved password. So I changed it to "ThisBitesBigTime" "This"= 2891 "Bites"= 29251 "Big"= 297 "Time"= 2945 But I kept some words as words to mix it up.
I've since changed my password again so no worries there lol (and the above is also a little different).

I made a numerology chart and stuck it to my desk so I can always reference it. As often as I use it, you'd think I'd have it all memorized by now

My rant isn't really a rant. I'm still awake. I woke up last at 3PM on the 15th. I've had lots of unintentional micro-naps between then and now but I've not been back to bed. I would have crashed earlier but I have a doctor appointment (my shrink) this afternoon and I never would have woken up for it had I gone to bed.
I'm going to crash hard tonight though!

I'm trying to crochet a fanny pack to replace the one I live in. I'm making each part separate (bottom, sides, top) and I've never done anything like this before so I'm curious to see how it's going to turn out.

My rant for today is that I can't seem to find any articles discussing the existence or function of GABA(A) autoreceptors in the NAcc (nucleus accumbens). I was researching the relationship between CB1 and 5-HT2C receptors in feeding behavior and found lots of information about those receptors interacting with GABA(A) receptors in the NAcc as well, so I originally I assumed that there might be a GABA(A)/CB1/5-HT2C colocalization where they differently modulate each other, but then I found some conflicting data. The NAcc is thought of as the main factor of the reward circuitry as well, and 5-HT2C and GABA(A) activation were each found to decrease reward (dopamine release), whereas CB1 activation increases it. That's all well and good because CB1 tends to work opposite to GABA(A) and to make sense with feeding behavior induced by drugs it must work opposite to 5-HT2C as well, but then I found an article saying that a GABA(A) antagonist reversed the increased dopamine release from a CB1 agonist. How would that make sense!? That's when I figured that the picture has to be a little bit more complex here. As CB1 receptors are often located presynaptically and the studies involving CB1-evoked dopamine release focused on receptors located on GABA nerve terminals, I started thinking about the possibility of two colocalizations: presynaptic GABA(A) autoreceptors with CB1 and postsynaptic GABA(A) receptors with 5-HT2C. The idea here would be that activating CB1 causes an activation of GABA(A) autoreceptors, thereby lowering GABA concentrations and lowering activity at postsynaptic GABA(A), which lowers activity at 5-HT2C and causes an increase in dopamine release. In this way, a GABA(A) antagonist would be able to block the effects of both the CB1 and 5-HT2C receptors while still allowing the latter two to oppose each other as well. This relationship could possibly even account for the dopamine release seen following lower (presynaptic) doses of alcohol and muscimol, and the dopamine inhibition seen with higher (postsynaptic) doses, and also why lower doses of alcohol can give you the munchies. The problem is that just because something makes sense doesn't necessarily make it true, and that doesn't necessarily make it false either but there just doesn't seem to be THAT much research done in this particular area yet. People need to get off their lazy asses and study the brain some more so that I can continue to theorize. >:C

But my anti-rant is that the weather is really nice outside, and soon I'll be eating a homemade Egg McMuffun.

I know I sorta crammed for my Organic Chemistry exam, but I know that based on the Mnemonics I learned for the basic functional groups, and knowing what would be a sec-butyl, isobutyl, isopropyl, and categorizing with substituent branch goes with the specific carbon chain...and even was able to remember that any dimethyl, when paired with an ethyl, the ethyl branch has to go first because it's based on the alphabet, I should've done okay, like C- okay. The constitutional isomer that I had to create, I half-assed it and put decided to put a ketone group, since I knew oxygen always requires a two bond, so the carbon at the 7th (or is is it the 4th?) part of the chain clearly means it's still maintain the 4 bonds from the assumed hydrogens.

Gauche conformations was learned at the last minute, which I realized the heaviest compounds are at a 60 degree angle, but I forgot where the H3C and other H's should go, so I decided to put the H3C anyway, since the question was only concerned with at least gauche conformation, but maybe, JUST maybe, the prof will be generous to all students on their first exam, she will give partial credit I believe, as long as it was legible. And when the exam was over, where everyone had to cover their sheets, this girl to the left of me is STILL taking the exam. Are you fucking kidding me? You're risking YOUR one chance to not fuck up and decide to cheat?

Because still writing on the exam IS cheating, and she was lucky as hell she sat on the top rows where I was, and people were even looking at her, the professor probably was just glancing over everyone and just happened to not spot her. What's annoying is that she was still trying to correct any mistakes she had, and the professor was at least 5 feet from her getting on the girl's ass for cheating. Damn it, you cunt, just face that you didn't know how to do skeletal structures of substituents and carbon chains...and this is supposed to be the easy stuff until we get to the Alkenes and what substituents for those are.

I know I shouldn't worry about the girl cheating by still writing on her exam when it's supposed to be over, but my ass would be in jeopardy if the professor saw her cheating, and since I'm sitting RIGHT next to her, the professor, based on the ruling system for the Honor code here, I could get into deep shit as well for not informing she's cheating.

I don't know....to snitch and not have to drop out of college, or to be quiet, find the person next to me is caught cheating, professor presumes I knew she was, which would then mean I get in trouble for the girl's intention of cheating, and drop out along with her as well.

LOL, and I'm going to be sitting next to her for the next 2 exams as well, and because I know things get harder, while I'm already done with the exam, it's going to be hard not being irritated should this girl try to cheat for the last two times. Ugh, why....just accept what you could put on the exam and keep the cover sheet on top! Don't cheat and get my ass in trouble along with yours!! Ugh.

One more exam, and it's math, I memorized basic concepts, and the key is for me to just show work as much as I can, because they give partial credit too....but I'm still bothered by that girl who cheated right to me...it pisses me off SO much because she would get not only me, but 3 other students who knew she was cheating in trouble. Man....people are just too bold these days.

Enjoy the weather and the food Aly

You seriously get in trouble for not tattling, Link? That's ridiculous!

I ended up getting 3 hours of sleep earlier. I was so worried about missing my p-doc appointment that I actually woke up on my own before the alarm went off... which was good seeing how I never actually set the alarm in the exhausted state I was in.
Setting that thing (my cellphone) was actually quite humorous looking back. I kept turning on speaker phone and never did find the alarm settings lol

It's been raining since midnight or so... just a light rain most of the time, but I'm loving it.
I've almost finished season 3 of Prison Break and I really love that show. I'm glad I gave it a chance.

My stomach is very happy because I just ate half a family-sized portion of Spinach and Chicken Lasagna

Another minor rant is that I have an almost painful blister/callous on my right thumb from all the crocheting I've been doing. And I woke up from my nap sick. The lymph nodes in my neck are swollen, my nose is clogged and my throat is sore. And my gums are raw because I was an idiot and ate the walnuts in some Chunky Monkey ice cream earlier. But they were so yummy. I really miss not being able to eat nuts.

Oh no, it's only when they actually catch the person, and they happen to know that you're allowing them to cheat is all. But if they don't see, I'm not telling a soul lol.

Thanks, Zhay. I hope you feel better soon! That really sucks about not being able to eat nuts. :<

My second rant of the day is that I've been thinking about how miraculous it is that I'm not dead or in prison, so many times over. Like the time I was driving on the wrong side of the street on acid, or the time I had enough ecstasy in my car to give everyone inside a life sentence. God I was a stupid kid.

That should be a rave, Aly You may have been a stupid kid, but you survived and hopefully learned from those mistakes

I think about the times I should've/could've died too. I don't think I've had any tremendously close calls but it's strange to think about it none-the-less. When I'm in a particular mood I think how strange it would be if I was actually dead or in a coma from one of those times and all these years I've lived have been nothing more than dreams or delusions.
At other times, it's hard to really watch people and think (TRULY think) that they have their own lives which I could never know about- how they feel, love, hate, how they're unique individuals. I don't know why that feels so strange sometimes. It's like, I KNOW there are other people in this world but every now and then I'm (???) bothered by that fact lol. I guess it makes me a little sad (?)... like looking at really old photos. You know the person existed, but you'll never know their story.

My ex-hubby used to call me nosy when I spoke about such things lol. It's not that I want to pry or meddle. I don't It just feels sad and I don't really know why
So I try not to think about such things.

And thanks Aly. I think it's just allergies. My nodes are already back to normal. I almost ALWAYS wake up in such a state Maybe I'm allergic to my mattress lol... then again, I was bothered when using the air mattress too. All the bed coverings are clean and the dogs don't sleep with me now that the fleas are out in force... so who knows.

And I REALLY miss nuts sometimes. If I would just get bottom dentures and actually use them, I wouldn't have such problems. As it is, I have to take care even when eating out to make sure the food wont be too tough. It's a royal pain in the tush. But I can't whistle while wearing them which was the deal breaker and they're also a pain in the ass to actually keep in your mouth. I have NO problems with my upper dentures. I sleep in them and everything.
I really should break down and get lowers. I've been without bottom teeth since... wow... 1998. But I hyper-extend (?) my jaw (close it too tightly) which leads to TMJ and makes me look like I'm 70 years old

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Thanks, Zhay. I hope you feel better soon! That really sucks about not being able to eat nuts. :<

My second rant of the day is that I've been thinking about how miraculous it is that I'm not dead or in prison, so many times over. Like the time I was driving on the wrong side of the street on acid, or the time I had enough ecstasy in my car to give everyone inside a life sentence. God I was a stupid kid.

Why oh why didn't I know someone like you back in the day? Probably cause I was the straightest arrow. Funny how that works out.