Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

:cackle: "The only advice I can give is that it hardly ever helps to know your motives."
I love that :) Thanks for the smile.
My problem is that I over-analyze things to death. I get a goal in my head then I focus on what I want to get out of to an extreme which pychs me out, but then my brain (lol "logic") has to speak up and present all sorts of outcomes and questioning WHY I want to do it to begin with.
I guess what it amounts to is that I'm a chicken at heart. My eyes are freagin teary right now. I'm disappointed in myself.
But I'll get over it :)

And ahhh yes, "pendulum" lol.

Thanks also for the kind words regarding my kitten. I'm just grateful I wasn't attached to her. It would have made the loss MUCH more difficult. Death in and of itself doesn't bother me, but watching her go the way she did broke my heart.

:hug: Tommo. Hope you figure out your programming frustrations soon.

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Originally Posted by tommo

The rant I came here for (if anyone's got this far lol) is I cannot fucking figure out Python (programming language).

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Are you learning from the start or have you learned any other programming languages before? If you have, it works almost the exactly same way with different syntax, which might be confusing you. And if you haven't, to make anything basic there are only about 6 unintuitive concepts to learn, and once you do you'll be able to easily learn the basics of any other language. Just start with something really small, like making sure you know how to print out text. Then learn what variables are and try to declare some and print them out. After you learn something new, try to make any small program (even if it doesn't do anything useful) that incorporates the new thing you learned. It's hard to read a page of explaining something and only then be expected to do it yourself. Practice what you're being taught as much as possible, as soon as you learn anything new. You can probably find tutorials online that explain things way better than your course.

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EDIT: Just read the last two pages and have realized how much I miss this thread and this forum. :( *Must start posting more often*

We found a huge wolf spider yesterday (I'd thought there weren't any here) and put it in a container and realized it was carrying a big egg sac with its front appendages. We drove it down the street and let it free. After staring at it for an hour while trying to figure out what kind of spider it was, I think my spider fear subsided a bit.

I just played some of the games I used to play like 5-9 years ago...

So much nostalgia ;-;

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Originally Posted by Solarflare

I just played some of the games I used to play like 5-9 years ago...

So much nostalgia ;-;

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Same I just pulled out Worms, Final Fantasy, rayman, incredible machine, crash bandicoot, miel monteur and fallout 1 off the shelf so I could play them again :crying:

Well, 110 again today. It's supposed to be like this all week. O.O

Luckily fiancee man cleaned the filter last night and it has only shut off once since he turned it back on. I think it was trying to play catch up. If it does it again today... urgh. I don't know. But even when it's working it's hot in here. I'm thinking once the kid wakes up, we're going to the pool.

On a side note: I got my textbooks today from the college. Super anxious to start classes. I need to stimulate this brain of mine before netflix and plants vs zombies destroys it. Along with a bunch of conspiracy videos on youtube. God, so boring...

The books smell so deliciously educational. :)

I might even start reading the first chapters out of each one, get a head start. I haven't decided. 15 credit hours this semester! Woot! I changed my major to secondary education, too. Apparently I can't have a minor at a community college? Anyone know why this is? I guess I don't know much about it, but I was hoping to keep studying psychology anyway. I didn't drop any classes though, I'm still taking one that I don't necessarily need. I don't really trust my advisors either.

They're going to biopsy the scar or whatever it is and I had some blood work and urine tests done. The doctor suspects I have hypothyroidism and that, coupled with my lack of appetite, is probably what's causing my weight loss. As for the medical marijuana card, he says he's open to the idea but he wants to hold off on recommending it until all the tests are done.

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Originally Posted by dutchraptor

I went to play pool at my local pub but whatya know old drunk farmers love to hold poetry sessions around pool tables :?

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Oh this reminds me, what happened to pool halls? I remember when I was a kid, that was the place to be. That was one of the things I looked forward to growing up; even more so than learning to drive, I wanted to grow up just so I could hang out at the pool hall like the teenagers or young adults. And now that I'm older, pool halls aren't even "cool" any more.

And those arcade coin machines, those used to be everywhere. I miss those things... :[

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Originally Posted by GavinGill

They're going to biopsy the scar or whatever it is and I had some blood work and urine tests done. The doctor suspects I have hypothyroidism and that, coupled with my lack of appetite, is probably what's causing my weight loss. As for the medical marijuana card, he says he's open to the idea but he wants to hold off on recommending it until all the tests are done.


Oh this reminds me, what happened to pool halls? I remember when I was a kid, that was the place to be. That was one of the things I looked forward to growing up; even more so than learning to drive, I wanted to grow up just so I could hang out at the pool hall like the teenagers or young adults. And now that I'm older, pool halls aren't even "cool" any more.

And those arcade coin machines, those used to be everywhere. I miss those things... :[

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:O Those coin arcade machines are everywhere where I live. But then I'm at the coast (pier). There's also some pool halls... though I never enter because I'm shite.

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Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Same I just pulled out Worms, Final Fantasy, rayman, incredible machine, crash bandicoot, miel monteur and fallout 1 off the shelf so I could play them again :crying:

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I'll never forget the beginning of crash bandicoot... and them masks: 'poompadom'. Memories of continuous failure in that game.

Gavin, so happy to hear your doctor's at least keeping an open mind!

I am currently ranting because my bedroom is too dark and it's making me sleepy.
I should've thought harder before before painting the walls black :chuckle: Thankfully, only 1 1/2 walls are painted. The others, however, are mostly obscured.
I've always used 75-100 watt bulbs (2) in my ceiling. But the black walls seem to absorb the light which seems to make the "contrast" of the brightness dimmer. I've taken 2 Nuvigil's today (1 then 1/2 several hours later, followed by the other half even later). It doesn't seem to be making much of a dent in my fatigue.

BUT, a thunderstorm is FINALLY moving in. I LOVE storms.
It was so sunny throughout the day that I actually got 3 loads of wash done :)

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

Are you learning from the start or have you learned any other programming languages before? If you have, it works almost the exactly same way with different syntax, which might be confusing you. And if you haven't, to make anything basic there are only about 6 unintuitive concepts to learn, and once you do you'll be able to easily learn the basics of any other language. Just start with something really small, like making sure you know how to print out text. Then learn what variables are and try to declare some and print them out. After you learn something new, try to make any small program (even if it doesn't do anything useful) that incorporates the new thing you learned. It's hard to read a page of explaining something and only then be expected to do it yourself. Practice what you're being taught as much as possible, as soon as you learn anything new. You can probably find tutorials online that explain things way better than your course.

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The part about python I found the hardest to wrap my head around is it's pass by sharing deal. I actually only understood it fully a month ago, or so.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

EDIT: Just read the last two pages and have realized how much I miss this thread and this forum. :( *Must start posting more often*

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Yes.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

We found a huge wolf spider yesterday (I'd thought there weren't any here) and put it in a container and realized it was carrying a big egg sac with its front appendages. We drove it down the street and let it free. After staring at it for an hour while trying to figure out what kind of spider it was, I think my spider fear subsided a bit.

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Ugh, spiders.

Ugh, every phone call I get to the house phone is junk, either a survey call or someone selling something.

And yes, I'm on the DoNotCall list.


Is it weird that I just lit the charcoal chimney with an article on green-building practices and outgassing?


Link...we need to talk sometime.


Does anyone remember Dark Castle and Beyond Dark Castle? I used to play BDC on my friend's Mac back in the late 80's but I can't find the game lately.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

Are you learning from the start or have you learned any other programming languages before? If you have, it works almost the exactly same way with different syntax, which might be confusing you. And if you haven't, to make anything basic there are only about 6 unintuitive concepts to learn, and once you do you'll be able to easily learn the basics of any other language. Just start with something really small, like making sure you know how to print out text. Then learn what variables are and try to declare some and print them out. After you learn something new, try to make any small program (even if it doesn't do anything useful) that incorporates the new thing you learned. It's hard to read a page of explaining something and only then be expected to do it yourself. Practice what you're being taught as much as possible, as soon as you learn anything new. You can probably find tutorials online that explain things way better than your course.

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I've semi-learned VB before. Not properly coz the classes were shit at high school (like.... terrible way to teach "copy this" "press run" *figure out that you have to figure it all out yourself* lol)
And obv HTML, which is useless for this.

I'll try your advice today, thanks :)

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Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Same I just pulled out Worms, Final Fantasy, rayman, incredible machine, crash bandicoot, miel monteur and fallout 1 off the shelf so I could play them again :crying:

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GMGGHHHHHHHH Incredible Machine! My heart..... So many hours..... so many useless inventions.....
I always completely forget about that game until someone brings it up again. Always my mind lights up when I come across those words.... "incredible machine".
:)

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Originally Posted by tommo

Long reply post here too....


When the fuck did this happen? lol

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It's been happening months ago, it just took a while for things to actually develop.

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Hold on.... this isn't a dream character is it? You've not gone off the deep end I hope.

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Oh no, she's real. And I haven't met any kind of dream character to fantasize about lol.

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All I can say is, assuming this is a real person.... think about how good it is now, not how bad it would be if it doesn't keep being good forever.
I can confidently say that if you keep playing out how it will go wrong, how shit it will feel etc. in your head, it will happen IRL.
This isn't some "you make your destiny, imagine your world" bullshit. It's just that constantly thinking about the bad outcomes makes you focus on them.
It's like keeping your eye on the ball.... look at the ball and you'll hit it. Look at the ground and you'll hit the ground.
It does take a while to get used to; when I first started riding a motorbike, I looked at the ground in front of me when turning a corner, this makes you react terribly because you only see things a second or less before you have to react. Everyone does this at first. And it gets worse and worse coz you lose more and more confidence with every bump and pothole and get more and more wound in a knot and anxious.

It takes a while but you have to focus on where you want to be after the corner, look at the horizon line and you will go there.
And it's tonnes more fun when you're not constantly worrying about every little thing that could set you off course.

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Thanks tommo, you're right. The more I invite negative thoughts, the more I'll be aligned to seeing those events happen. Thanks for taking the time to type that, man.

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Originally Posted by melanieb

Link...we need to talk sometime.

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I don't think there's anything to worry about, but okay. :P

Rant:

I'm heading back to Texas, I should be happy, but I will miss the people I met who are friends of my father. They are good people, and listening to a few of them talk to me about college, and how I should just relax and not over-exert myself makes me feel a little better.

Even though I plan to make sure I don't try to kill myself with studying, I'm still worried that I might not get enough hours (15) to take advantage of the tuition costs. I have to set up an appointment to delete a Genetics course, since I have to take one before it.

And I also have to change one other class, and each of them are 3 hours, so that means that by some miracle, I have to get 6 hours switched to classes I can take.

I'm confident that I will do VERY well, even beyond the perfectionism that only led to more stress in High School. I feel like I just have to chill, know that if I do things bit by bit instead of in large chunks, I'll memorize them more.

If I can get by studying one huge chunk of information for an exam, then my chances of doing well studying by small bits (which I should be doing in the first place) will be inevitable.

Even so, I'm still worried on writing essays and all that for scholarships, because even if I do manage to get a 4.0 GPA for the semester, I have to make sure I take advantage of what I can do get more rewards to fund for future tuition.

I've been looking into dreaming more and hopefully using certain archetypes (Akashic Records) to find glimpses of opportunities I can seize. Not only for how to set up my initiative, but to hopefully find what my intent really is in various fields of life that I take a role in/ put in energy into making it a reality.

This is because I believe in the higher self/eternal self kind of mentality. I know I can imagine how it would feel like to experience these things, I can close my eyes and have the environment and characters manifested right in front of me, but I've been dying to lucid dream instead of daydreaming to get the full effect.

It's hard managing my emotions to make sure I don't force my subconscious to exhibit these beliefs I want to see, and it's also hard sustaining a positive attitude towards learning, but I have to keep trying my best.

These ideals and mindsets that I'm open to may make me look crazy to those with a "BS filter" or a "reality filter," but it's so fun to be crazy once in a while.

(Crazy as in to just believe in the paranormal even though likelihood of portraying scientific proof of these things is difficult).

I have a bunch of chavs sitting next to me swearing, talking about CoD4 loudly while I'm sitting in the library trying to make some progress on my major project which weight 40% of my total mark in Society and Culture. Dicks.

Tell someone you saw porn on their computer...something about women and horses. That should get them tossed. :)

Owning Python :)

Sort of anyway, in the simple stages. But I'm getting around the syntax now. The way it notices lines and indents is both good and bad and frustrating lol

rofl, you can be an evil one, Melanie ("women and horses" :chuckle:)

I'm ranting because I laid down at 7:30 for a brief nap. I didn't get out of bed until 1:30AM. AFTER having taken TWO freagin Nuvigils (throughout the day, not additional ones lol). How is that even possible?
A person should be UNABLE to sleep after that amount of stimulants. :bang:

It was a fitful sleep though. I woke at 8PM to talk to my youngest when she called. She was upset and crying- feeling badly about lying to me all these years. She admitted that the investigation is regarding her relationship with a much older man- that he was the one supplying her with alcohol and drugs and that she was primarily sleeping with him. I told her that brainstorming with her sister, we had figured most of that out. Then she laughed and told me not to tell her that because it took so much for her to admit and tell me that. I told her she still needed to say the words and I was proud of her for telling me.

The bunny was thumping his feet at some point and I even got up to check on him...

I fell right back to sleep until 9 when hubby called. I stood at my computer and spoke with him for 10 minutes or so. Then I went back to bed and immediately fell back to sleep.
Then my sons came into my room several times and I was aware of them and spoke to them each time.
WTH?

My nostalgic games are from my Commodor 64 C. I played the Summer and Winter Olympics on it, a Wizard game and another game like Pitfall. Man, I loved that machine lol

**EDIT**
I left for Wal-mart at 3:30. Paulie and his mom were inside. I didn't see the other males anywhere so when I got to the car, I checked the wheels first. Nothing. I popped my hood and there they were, curled together, sleeping on top of my engine. :bang: Ossamah ran to the under carriage of the RV. I couldn't find TJ anywhere and I refused to leave until I found him.
15 minutes later, he finally showed himself under the RV. Stupid kittens. I need to find a way to keep them out of my car!!!!!

I also have a headache and very dry eyes. Blah. But I'm about to eat Lasagna, and lasagna almost always makes everything better :D

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Originally Posted by tommo

GMGGHHHHHHHH Incredible Machine! My heart..... So many hours..... so many useless inventions.....
I always completely forget about that game until someone brings it up again. Always my mind lights up when I come across those words.... "incredible machine".
:)

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I know right, I've replayed all the incredible machines at least 4 or 5 times each :P. When your a child the contraptions seem so logical and amazing.
Congrats on the 8000 posts btw :)

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Originally Posted by dutchraptor

I know right, I've replayed all the incredible machines at least 4 or 5 times each :P. When your a child the contraptions seem so logical and amazing.
Congrats on the 8000 posts btw :)

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LOL I got so distracted.... I went to look for an appropriate gif and wound up on youtube for 2 hours, come back to this tab and realised how far off track I got haha

Anyway.... I had NO IDEA I was anywhere near 8000. Awesome :D
And thankyou :D

Many grats Tommo :) I don't even notice mine anymore lol

STUPID freagin kittens. Idiotic me!!!

I started to leave for Wal-mart (my home away from home it seems) to pick up my prescriptions. I lifted the hood and there were all three boys, laying on the engine. Paulie ran off right away. Then TJ went. Ossamah ducked down but I didn't see him actually go anywhere.
So I spent the next 1 1/2 hours trying to find him. I couldn't find him anywhere so I got into my car to leave but was gripped by anxiety. I inched forward, inched back, crying out when I felt bumps. Several times, I slammed on the break because I heard a mewing noise but then realized I was the one making it. And I cried like an absolute baby because I was so certain I was going to kill him.
I eventually told myself to stop being stupid so I drove slowly to the store. I kept envisioning him under the car, balancing on whatever and fearing every bump in the road. Before I left Walmart, I lifted the hood. I went to Sheetz for hotdogs and before I left there I lifted the hood.

I got home without incident and I've still not seen the stupid kitten :bang:

All the dream guides that have been appointed the last year or so, except melanieb, have been people I haven't even heard of before they got promoted. Why can't they promote more of the people who hang out in the Lounge :cheeky:

I think they appoint them because they post more on-topic.

DGs don't moderate the lounge.

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Originally Posted by melanieb

I think they appoint them because they post more on-topic.

DGs don't moderate the lounge.

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I know, I know. But it still does bug me :P
(There also the implication that I don't hang out in on-topic anymore. That's because I haven't been having any lucids in a while, and I don't have the energy to work for them atm. Also I haven't found any real interesting conversations going on in on-topic, mostly just newbies asking the same old questions. That part was sort of a stealth rant).

Brain is mush. Brain is mush. Brain is mush. Brain is... yep.

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Originally Posted by khh

(There also the implication that I don't hang out in on-topic anymore. That's because I haven't been having any lucids in a while, and I don't have the energy to work for them atm. Also I haven't found any real interesting conversations going on in on-topic, mostly just newbies asking the same old questions. That part was sort of a stealth rant).

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXlZ6edCHqI

I don't think I've had a lucid dream since mid 2011. >_<
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The biopsy's scheduled for Oct. 22, they couldn't book it any earlier. I'm going to try and get an appointment with a dermatologist soon so they can take a quick look, that way I'm not totally out of the loop until Oct. 22nd.

More importantly, we're out of mustard. D:<

I just realized that I'm only pretty sure that something happened last night because I remember thinking that it did this morning, not because I have any actual memory of it happening. Furthermore, the memory of me thinking that from this morning is very faint and I'm not even entirely sure if it actually was this morning, but I think I'm just starting to doubt it more because I'm focusing on it too much. Maybe I should take the smoking down a notch for a little while. >_>

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Originally Posted by Wolfwood

Brain is mush. Brain is mush. Brain is mush. Brain is... yep.

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^^ This.