Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

**Linkzelda** · 07-04-2012 05:38 AM

Two more days until I have to prepare for another vacation somewhere. In those same two days, I have to find a way to sign up for a loan, which means my father is going to keep patronizing me, and then try to add on to that with wishful thinking on how I should do this, and why can't I do this for this and that, and bdafhjgdkhgjksgj.

Man....I really should've cancelled that trip to meet people that I never really had a connection with in the first place. I hope I can get a loan that I can sign up for myself, and not my father. Don't want him taking any of the burden in the first place. There should be a loan where I can do that instead of the parents being responsible, but since I'm just like any other sophomore with no credit history, co-signing is pretty much the route I'll have to take.

Maybe this might motivate me to create more self-hatred for myself so I can actually do better academically than I did my Freshmen year.

I guess my other, smaller rant is that I've had no lucid dreams, and only a slight improvement to recall since I started this. But I'm patient, I can deal. I think I'll try using autosuggestion to wake up after EVERY dream... who cares if I'm tired the next day, I've got nothing going on.

I feel you man. I've been letting myself doze off on purpose, and even if I do a WBTB, sometimes I just feel lazy to type it out on my laptop, even small dream notes. And because of things going on in waking life, I've been more tempted to use dreaming as an outlet, but I can't do that if I can't induce a lucid dream.

Ugh.

And the same goes for me, I have nothing to do tomorrow, so I might as well force myself to do a WBTB and not worry about waking life.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

I like how if you don't find a single stupid little occupation you could have fulfilling, there must be something wrong with you.

Same applies with me, except I'm on vacation. I have nothing going for me now until August

This feels like I'm fishing for insults instead of compliments, loool, why am I even mentioning this? I need to sleep.

@Dave, it's alright, hope things go well for you in college.

Right now, I feel my IQ is equivalent to a shovel.

I need to pop some Melatonin later this week.

**ThePreserver** · 07-04-2012 05:42 AM

Originally Posted by Singularity125

TMI, Preserver...

Sorry! It was quite R&R,C&C-able, though! (Is that the correct usage for the thread name?)

In other news, society makes me sad sometimes. Also, I thought I decided that history would be the thing I wanted to study the most... but I always think back to architecture. I fiddle around with LEGOs and CAD software far too often to rule it out completely... (and my childhood was essentially me drawing pictures of buildings, with a little bit of school mixed in.)

BUT I ALSO LOVE HISTORY. AND SOCIOLOGY. AND PHYSICS. AND I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING BUT I CAN'T DAMNIT.

**tommo** · 07-04-2012 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

I like how if you don't find a single stupid little occupation you could have fulfilling, there must be something wrong with you.

This has been plaguing my brain for the past.... 5 years or so. Pretty much every day. Getting pree sick of it now.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

Sorry! It was quite R&R,C&C-able, though! (Is that the correct usage for the thread name?)

In other news, society makes me sad sometimes. Also, I thought I decided that history would be the thing I wanted to study the most... but I always think back to architecture. I fiddle around with LEGOs and CAD software far too often to rule it out completely... (and my childhood was essentially me drawing pictures of buildings, with a little bit of school mixed in.)

BUT I ALSO LOVE HISTORY. AND SOCIOLOGY. AND PHYSICS. AND I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING BUT I CAN'T DAMNIT.

Assume we will achieve immortality before we get to old age. Choose one or two for the current ~40-45 years.

I really need to listen to my own advice.

EDIT: Just.... don't save the best 'til last

Oh and I just agreed to work tonight. Again. Got nothin' to do anyway, may as well make some shoddy money....
I'd still rather do nothing though.

**Carrot** · 07-04-2012 11:10 AM

I haven't been making efforts to recall my dreams too, maybe I sleep too much or something so dreams kept vanishing every time I woke up and went back to sleep. And I woke up numerous times because the house phone always ring. My grandma has tons of calls everyday and I can even recall her conversation when she's on the phones.

**littlezoe** · 07-04-2012 11:36 AM

Yesterday i got told by someone that gummycandy is for children and that she doesn't eat it because she is over 18 years old.

I mean wut....? I didn't know candy is connected to how old you are.... this is just stupid.

I would eat this every day

**Wolfwood** · 07-04-2012 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

I like how if you don't find a single stupid little occupation you could have fulfilling, there must be something wrong with you.

I pride myself on doing nothing as much as possible. Lazing's goood.

**Darkmatters** · 07-04-2012 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

I pride myself on doing nothing as much as possible. Lazing's goood.

Not very lucrative though unless you get a job with the government. Like working at the DMV.

**Wolfwood** · 07-04-2012 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Not very lucrative though unless you get a job with the government. Like working at the DMV.

It depends on what you class as lucrative: money or a relaxed mind. I, the latter. I just choose the easiest, laziest jobs that involve me sitting in a comfy office chair for a few hours. Oh, and if there was a joke there.... I missed it.

**Carrot** · 07-04-2012 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

It depends on what you class as lucrative: money or a relaxed mind. I, the latter. I just choose the easiest, laziest jobs that involve me sitting in a comfy office chair for a few hours.

Butt pain.

**Wolfwood** · 07-04-2012 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Carrot

Butt pain.

You get that?

**Carrot** · 07-04-2012 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

You get that?

If I sit too long, even if the seat is soft.

**Zhaylin** · 07-04-2012 03:18 PM

I didn't fall asleep til 7 this morning and I woke up at 9:30. Thanks to you good people here, a marathon of The Walking Dead and Farmville, I had some strange dreams.
In one, I had gotten into a silly argument with someone here. I continued the argument and the apology and I saw on their profile that they wanted some pic as a gift from a game. I sent it to her but never got a reply. Then it occurred to me that I was on her ignore list and the gift never got through because PM's were blocked too
Zombie dreams are always cool though. I need to leave for Coke and Hotdogs so I'll write the highlights here so I don't forget

A guy was handcuffed to a steering wheel and drove backward and almost down a ravine to get away from some crazy people after their goods; argument about old cars and I ended up siding with the hoarder saying the metal could be valuable to patch holes in our defenses.

My rant is that I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep... but then again, I only went to sleep to keep from barfing (too much caffeine and nicotine, not enough food or sleep). I have laundry to do and a bedroom/bathroom to clean.

**Carrot** · 07-04-2012 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I didn't fall asleep til 7 this morning and I woke up at 9:30. Thanks to you good people here, a marathon of The Walking Dead and Farmville, I had some strange dreams.
In one, I had gotten into a silly argument with someone here. I continued the argument and the apology and I saw on their profile that they wanted some pic as a gift from a game. I sent it to her but never got a reply. Then it occurred to me that I was on her ignore list and the gift never got through because PM's were blocked too
Zombie dreams are always cool though. I need to leave for Coke and Hotdogs so I'll write the highlights here so I don't forget

A guy was handcuffed to a steering wheel and drove backward and almost down a ravine to get away from some crazy people after their goods; argument about old cars and I ended up siding with the hoarder saying the metal could be valuable to patch holes in our defenses.

My rant is that I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep... but then again, I only went to sleep to keep from barfing (too much caffeine and nicotine, not enough food or sleep). I have laundry to do and a bedroom/bathroom to clean.

If you're really tired and you had a lack of sleep, the last few things that you have been doing goes to your dreams straight away. We have successfully infiltrated Zhaylin's mind!

**Suena** · 07-04-2012 04:09 PM

I've got way too much on my mind to deal with. And it is always me putting everything on myself.

I had to run to walmart to get diapers and milk. I decided to call my mom and ask to borrow money for gas so that I could go see my sisters (I am in serious need of some family time, especially since it's a holiday). She was cool with it, except, banks are closed and I can't cash her pre-signed check. So, things get complicated, because once I call my mom in need, she's going to offer every available solution such as, borrowing money from my sister once I get there, signing a check over to her and having her go cash it whenever. It's not all that complicated, really, but it just becomes more involved when I have to borrow from a third party.

I know my sister would go for it, I just hate borrowing money in the first place and I hate letting my sisters know that I'm borrowing from mom and dad just to go see them. I hate living an hour away. I'd move back in a split second if I could.

On top of that, I let the house go for the past day or so. It's amazing how freaking dirty it gets within 12 hours of me cleaning it top to bottom. It just makes me want to give up sometimes and let it go because no matter how well I clean it, I'll be doing it daily for life. I want a job so bad. I could very well get one, but then there will only be more tension put on my withering relationship with my fiancee. I'm so scared to do what I want to do because he's always in the back of my mind telling me what's best for all of us. It's best if I just stay home, clean, take care of our son and let him worry about money shit.

But I've never been the type. I've always been a working girl type. It sucks that I have no choice in this matter, or any matters really. I NEED some time out of the house, to make some friends, feel my independence. I know I'd miss my son, but I know he'd be fine. Damnit. Now I'm bawling again. I feel sorry for myself too much. Is that always such a bad thing? I know I don't have it worse than anyone, I just feel so fucking controlled and bitter because of it. Don't answer my question. I'm afraid of the answers anymore.

I don't know if it's the hormones are what, but I've been soooo freaking depressed. I just keep thinking about bridges around town, more of a fantasy I can't control. I just need some help and I don't know where to get it. 22 and drowning.

**Singularity125** · 07-04-2012 06:20 PM

Suena... I only wish there was something I could do for you.

Also, I'm paranoid... some of the recent posts here seem like they were inspired by something I said earlier. Something I'd kind of already backpedaled and apologized for. Of course now I'm probably the one blowing things out of proportion. Sigh... I dunno.

I realize now that the part of me that figures everyone wants an enjoyable job is a dying part. College proved to me that even my "dream job" wouldn't be all sunshine and roses or whatever. It's work. Stuff comes up, you wanna pull your hair out. At the time I figured it would at least suck less than other jobs I could think of. How I'll actually do remains to be seen... next week I begin the first full-time job I've ever had.

Eh... At this point I guess I feel like the most important thing is to have some good friends around to cheer you up when something goes wrong, or you're just burnt out. But that's not it either. My point is that I need to stop assuming that everyone thinks the same way I do. It only gets me in trouble or confuses me. People need to do whatever they think is best for coping/getting through the day, and as long as it isn't excessively illegal and doesn't hurt anyone, go for it.

I need to learn to start offering sympathy, not advice. Curse my engineering blood and a lack of social skills.

**Wayfaerer** · 07-05-2012 03:41 AM

I went to a state park I've been going to for a while now today. Usually I just drive right through the entrance but this time a car was in front of me and stopped. To my surprise some guy came out of the little kiosk thing and made a transaction with the guy in the car. Apparently they charge 7$ for "vehicle use" to enter the park. Turns out I've been sneaking in every time I've gone, which was well over 20 times. I'm glad too, fuck that. They don't need 7 fucking dollars from every person every time they want to visit a state park where there is way more than enough parking space for everyone. I just left pissed, I mean you're really going to charge people to enjoy the nature of a STATE PARK. Shouldn't the government cover that? At least it forces me to look for different places to hike, but I'm gonna see if I can get away with barreling through the entrance like I have been lol.

**Solarflare** · 07-05-2012 04:40 AM

Why am I reading creepypastas so late at night I'm gonna have a nightmare

But they are so interesting

EDIT: I think I hear fireworks :O Why are there fireworks for an American Holiday. I highly doubt Americans had fireworks for Canada Day >_>. Speaking of which it's almost midnight so it's practically July 5th right now >_>

**Zhaylin** · 07-05-2012 04:56 AM

lol Carrot. That, y'all have

Suena. Your relationship sounds so much like my first marriage that I always want to reach through the screen and give you a real hug.

Singularity and lol at your "engineering blood and lack of social skills".
I think your social skills are quite well, here at least. And don't worry about the engineering part. We all comfort in our own ways. I'm a "relater". I always have to share personal stories and I worry that others think I'm trying to one-up them. It's just my way of saying I understand, I relate and I feel their pain.

Wayfaerer. I know how frustrated you must be, but I'm sure that money goes to good use like park maintenance. As well as building maintenance if there are restrooms or pavilions and such.

My rant is also an anti-rant. I was hanging up clothes earlier and saw a flutter of movement. I swore it was a bird but it seemed to appear out of nowhere. I looked in one of the 2 bags that have been hanging on the pole of the line for almost a year, but I didn't see anything. I shrugged and told myself it must've been a moth or I was seeing things.
I went out to get the clothes and I saw the same thing. What the heck. It was definitely a bird. So I looked in the second bag and there at the bottom was a tiny bird nest filled with eggs.

My rant is that she couldn't have picked a worse place (perhaps). I hang up clothes all the time. Am I going to spook her into abandoning the nest? And with all the rain and storms we've been getting, are her babies going to drown if they do hatch?
The bag is "beach bag" style. It's water resistant material and deep. It's never held any water that I've noticed.
I don't dare move the bag so I'm going to be concerned about them.

But it was still a nice thing to see

In other news, the amoxil. seems to be working its magic. My UT pain is gone as is the white bump at the back of my throat. My throat itself, though is still pretty red and a bit sore. But at least I can now rest assured that I don't have throat cancer

**tommo** · 07-05-2012 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by Wayfaerer

I went to a state park I've been going to for a while now today. Usually I just drive right through the entrance but this time a car was in front of me and stopped. To my surprise some guy came out of the little kiosk thing and made a transaction with the guy in the car. Apparently they charge 7$ for "vehicle use" to enter the park. Turns out I've been sneaking in every time I've gone, which was well over 20 times. I'm glad too, fuck that. They don't need 7 fucking dollars from every person every time they want to visit a state park where there is way more than enough parking space for everyone. I just left pissed, I mean you're really going to charge people to enjoy the nature of a STATE PARK. Shouldn't the government cover that? At least it forces me to look for different places to hike, but I'm gonna see if I can get away with barreling through the entrance like I have been lol.

There wouldn't be a state park if people didn't pay a fee. It would be taken over by shitty houses and businesses like the rest of the world.
Pay the damn fee.

**ThePreserver** · 07-05-2012 07:44 AM

What ever happened to Win Ben Stein's Money?

**dakotahnok** · 07-05-2012 08:26 AM

Am I the only one that mainly gets on DV just to check this thread?

I guess the only rant I have is that I've burnt my hands about 5 times in the past two days. Tomorrow I'm hanging with a good friend so that should be fun. We are addicted to a video game lately and just can't stop playing.

Today was nice. I went to this beautiful part of the lake that I have never seen before. I don't know how me and Sara found it but I loved it. Anyone see the moon last night? It was really pretty reflecting on the lake. I wish I would have brought my photography camera.

Oh I do have a big rant! My car is still in the auto body shop! This guy has turned a 2 week job into a month. And he isn't acting like its going to be done any time soon. I missed my visit with my dad last week to go and get the car... But it's still not ready. I'm am so close to just taking my car back and trying to get any money back. I don't want to go to court but this is ridiculous!

**littlezoe** · 07-05-2012 08:50 AM

I have to go to the city in some hours, but i just feel so against it...

Yesterday i passed it with a lie, but my mom wants me to go for sure today...

I feel even more anti-social today than i am usually.... You know, i would just love it if some random nice girl would come up to me in the city and tell me to be friends or something... I know it's not that easy, but for me it's so hard to get to know new people... :/

I want to sleep all day, because i feel like my lucids give me the only true enjoyment i have in life currently... it's really sad.

**yuppie11975** · 07-05-2012 09:25 AM

My mum has been a fucking witch today.
She's been acting like an ignorant, stupid, disrespectful, ape all day. Just five minutes ago she asked me to get her a warm can of coke (Because drinking cold liquid will kill you apparently) so I had to open a brand new box, because all the others were in the fridge, and hand it to her. Do I come back, to be rewarded by paper confetti showers and balloons? Nope, she admits a whiny screeching sound, also known as her voice, and says: "Why is this can cold?! I said warm, not cold."
I tried to explain to her that it's winter, and the garage acts an insulator for temperature, but to no amends. Dad even explains that it's just the way it works, but nope, she's set in her stupid ways. Just now, she came into my room, and asked if I wanted half her chocolate, I didn't really feel like it, but I thought of it as a piece sign, and said "Thanks" and reached for it. She pulled it back, and ate it herself. You've got to be kidding? What are you? Fucking five years old?! You're actually a terrible parent. I don't want anything to do with you any more, it's seriously over.
So sick of this shit. A mother is supposed to be a support system, not someone who constantly gets you down and shit.
Oh, one more thing; I'm now forbidden to stay up past 10, are you fucking kidding me?! I'm a reasonable guy, I'm fourteen, and it's the school holidays. This is the only time I get to chill out, normal life is filled with school on weekdays, and work on weekends, what harm is it doing?! I don't even stay up on days where I have work the following day. It's such bullshit..

**Wolfwood** · 07-05-2012 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by littlezoe

I have to go to the city in some hours, but i just feel so against it...

Yesterday i passed it with a lie, but my mom wants me to go for sure today...

I feel even more anti-social today than i am usually.... You know, i would just love it if some random nice girl would come up to me in the city and tell me to be friends or something... I know it's not that easy, but for me it's so hard to get to know new people... :/

I want to sleep all day, because i feel like my lucids give me the only true enjoyment i have in life currently... it's really sad.

Be the random, nice girl. ^_^ And hey, you've got to know lots of random nutters on DV pretty easily.

**Carrot** · 07-05-2012 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Solarflare

Why am I reading creepypastas so late at night I'm gonna have a nightmare

But they are so interesting

EDIT: I think I hear fireworks :O Why are there fireworks for an American Holiday. I highly doubt Americans had fireworks for Canada Day >_>. Speaking of which it's almost midnight so it's practically July 5th right now >_>

Curiosity kills the cat.

I can't explain how much I dislike horror. But when I saw a horrific image on a social site, I actually went to google to find out about her history. I am mad.

And above is my rant. @_@

Originally Posted by dakotahnok

Am I the only one that mainly gets on DV just to check this thread?

I come on DV just to check most of the off topic threads. But I've a love and hate relationship with this thread because although I want to read all of you good fellow rants, I am not in a reading mood most of the times.