I woke up. I feel awfully inert and depressed. When this happens, I tend to listen to melancholic violin music, look at pictures of space, sigh, and question the very nature of existence.
One of those days.
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I woke up. I feel awfully inert and depressed. When this happens, I tend to listen to melancholic violin music, look at pictures of space, sigh, and question the very nature of existence.
One of those days.
So your real name is Jay Ling? o.OQuote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
Nope. I don't drink milk often anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
That it is. You seem surprised? ^_^Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
Sounds Chinese. ^^Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
What does "Ling" stands for?
Yeah, there is Chinese in my family.Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
Ling = eel/unagi
>_>
Jay the Eel. Roger that. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
Pardon me for asking one more question but what language is "Ling"?
Oh, I'm wrong, it's a fish.Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
http://www.seabreeze3.co.uk/galleries/ling/lnlg17.jpg
No idea on the language, but most people link me to Chinese from it. Your name have a meaning... or an odd one at that?
I think of Dragon when I see that "Ling" means fish. "Ling" is Dragon in a Chinese dialect, Hokkien.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
Casting my surname aside, my Chinese name directly translates to Spring Phoenix. :)
Link to English translation of my name
Dragon.... now that is more like it. I'll stick with that. :D Too bad I'm born in the year of the Tiger, and my brother in the year of the Dragon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
Someone knocks you down, but you just keep on rising, eh? ^_^Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
Yeah I'm celebrating it, but just with myself, not my dad. Who needs a father for fathers day?Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrot
Don't blame me for giving you the wrong interpretation of your name. :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
That's what my friend said too. :content:Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
I like your spirit!Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeraCook
And I was getting upset for a moment because of this festival.
Welp now I got a fever and I lost my voice
And how the fuck do I hashtag?!
(#firstworldproblems)
Pretty much my daily routine right there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfwood
Drunk, bored and oddly depressed. Great.
Double post..... shove it, I don't care. I'm fed up with everything. Long story short, my mom is in a tight place. Not getting into that for reasons. I'm depressed as fuck. I go home because I hate work, and I go to work because I'm fed up of home. I am seriously freaking the fuck out right now. I want out. I want out right the fuck now, but I can't. I can't leave my family, I can't leave work. If I do, everything falls apart. I. do. not. know. what. to do. I want to move to a city. somewhere far away. Will this help, hahaha fuck no, but at least that way I can make new friends, and hopefully get a girl friend, cause there is a 1 in a million chance I get one here. I picked this avatar for a reason. I am literally going insane. Which would be nice I guess..... then I wouldn't have to worry about anything. What could be better than complete insanity. Ignorant bliss.... would be great.
Dude I don't have any real advice but I understand what you Are saying man.
:hug: OldSparta, so sorry to hear that. I was about to rant about my puny problem when I saw yours and felt it's not worth ranting.
But not defeating the purpose of this thread, there's someone drilling either above or below my house. I am freaking annoyed and I woke up because of that. Can't you drill in the afternoon like say 12pm? Thanks for contributing to my headache.
First world problems of living in a high rise building.
I can't even formulate my sentences properly.
Spart, old man, buddy ol pal....
Just get the fuck out.
If people are bringing you down, you need to let them go. You can't take on all of their bullshit at your expense. Of course that's what we do, but there's a limit to it. When it's making you literally go insane (and believe me, I've felt that same thing) you have to get the fuck out to save yourself.
And no, everything won't fall apart if you leave, it's falling apart now.
No, they are fine, with me there. It's me who is falling apart, who is freaking the fuck out. Seriously, maybe my job/employer can hold out without me. I dunno know, but my family can't at the moment. I'm too fucken hard headed for this shit.... I'll stay till I snap. Guaranteed, I hate pushing my limits, but I do, every time. Why? Because I'm fucken retarded.Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
Get away from that madness a few days, go for a trip, enjoy yourself, then come back and face the battle again.Quote:
Originally Posted by OldSparta
Carrot has a good point; go spend some time with yourself. Get some fresh air and hopefully a slightly different perspective. Good medicine.
There's constant thunder and lightning right now, one strikes every second or two. I took a video. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, since where I usually live lightning is so rare. It's pitch black and then the whole sky lights up and I can see everything for a split second.
Oh, and I'm quite depressed and have no idea why. I wrote a longer post but deleted it because I feel worthless and should keep these things to myself anyway. I want the day to end but am not tired. I'll go to bed and hope I can fall asleep. At least the loneliness is gone, for now at least. That was the biggest issue. But still... the more I have, the more dependent I am on it, and the more I dread losing it. If I have to feel that pain of loss of love again I don't know what I'll do. For my age I've experienced a lot of it, and in this sense I'm extremely weak, I just can't bear it. I'll do anything I can to sustain this. I don't care if the pain would be temporary, I do not have what it takes to lose someone ever again.
And there is still someone whom I love, who I abandoned and left broken. Who is still alive in the world and is broken, who is feeling this feeling that I know is unbearable, because of me. And I'm going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life.
I need to go to bed. Why did I start talking about this?
Just got back from the hospital. My left lung collapsed again, but this time the pneumothorax was relatively small so it might not be as bad as last time. I have to go for another x-ray (agh, moar radiation D: ) tomorrow and if there isn't much of a change, I should be fine. If it's gotten bigger, they might have to keep me overnight. I really don't want to spend the night at a hospital, it's going to suck sooooo fucking much. I hate hospitals; they make me ridiculously uncomfortable and every time you're there, there's always at least one person there that's mere moments away from dying. It's just ughsfdsfs
i got all my stuff ready and was going to leave for work... when i realized i still have an hour before i need to leave.
only slept 4-5 hours last night, i've been feeling really out of it all morning. :(
/insignificant + pathetic rant
So hot these days. I feel like dying all day :(
During the day it goes to 35C in shadows and above 40 on the sun... I mean what the hell, you'll just melt if you stay there for long :/ It's hard to bear in the house too....
Then at night it still stays around 25-30C which is horrible :/
I really really need a ventillator, but i can't afford it :(