Chemistry exam today. F*** sake.
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Chemistry exam today. F*** sake.
I woke up this morning and smoked with my dad before he left to visit a friend for a while. While we were smoking he was telling me about some crime show he was watching that details real cases and explaining how the episode that was on relates to something that happened in like the next city over from us where people broke into the house of some woman who was alone and tortured her and killed her later when her son and his friends came home, and this was like really recent. And then he leaves to visit his friend. Now I'm just here alone and high and paranoid. :paranoid:
hahahahaha that's fucking hilarious.
You'll be ok.
I hope so. >w<
hehee, thanks Dianeva. I try :D
Dakotah... the clear fluid MIGHT simply be blood serum (if I understand correctly). My skin gets itchy sometimes so I scratch it with the back of my fingernails, so I give myself something more similar to friction burns than scratches. It's not usually enough to bleed, but clear fluid sort of oozes out. I asked someone what it was one and they said serum. It might be spiky because the skin tag might be trying to reform.
If in doubt, have a doctor check it out :)
BrokeDownHeart, could it just be raccoons?
My rant is that I need a shower and the shower door is breaking (it's on tracks and the top portion is all catterwonky). My leg is also itching me to death. The bites are still shiny but now that the redness has subsided somewhat I see that I actually have 9 bites :eek:
I also need to clean out my birds cage and doctor CeeCee... blah. And my son is whining for me to sell one of his games to the Pawn Shop so he can get a pack of cigarettes. But wait... hobo has an ID card, he can walk his butt there lol But that means I'll have to pick up Meesha poo myself which was a point of negotiation :roll:
Which reminds me that I need to mop :bang:
I have my p-doc appointment at 2 and I need to stop by another clinic and try to set up something for my youngest boy. He informed me yesterday: "Oh, I'm out of meds now" WHAT? Turd. Why didn't he warn me in advance so he could see a doctor to get more? Now I have to break my Wellbutrin in 6ths and share with him (he takes Wellbutrin so it's all good).
Blah...
@Zhaylin: I'm curious to see photos of your injuries. A couple of days ago there was a tick mark and now there are bugs bite. o.O
Urg!!! And now there's a wasp in my bedroom :bang:
But when I was outside picking grass for Cuddlebug, I saw a baby Praying Mantis :smitten: It was so cute!
I took pics but my DSi camera is such crap that you can't really see much. But there's not much to see to begin with. The tick bite is almost completely healed. It's at the top of my knee... then the spider bites are polka dots a little above the knee on my leg and to the far right. One of the bites is near where my leg creases .
I'm trying to ignore them. They don't itch much after my shower, but there are knots beneath the bites that I want to poke all the time :roll:
So yeah... I got my shower and showered the bathroom floor a little in the process :bang: AND I went to the Pawn Shop and then to Speedway to get a soda and my sons cigarettes. As soon as I realized he has his ID now, I shouted from my room for him to walk it. But he quickly got off the couch and picked up Meesha's messes lol I don't think that boy has moved that quickly in a long time :cackle:
Ugh... and now I'm nauseous. That's what I get for taking Caffeine on an empty stomach :mad:
It's amazing how quickly my mood can change for the worst. I had just seen my p-doc and had a pretty good session, then I went to the Dollar Tree for some TP. It was going to be a quick trip in an out, but on my way back to the toiletries, I passed a guy that looked very familiar. I couldn't place him for the life of me. I just knew he made me feel naked and weak.
It doesn't help that I'm barely wearing any clothes today. I'm wearing a dress with spaghetti straps that's low cut and only reaches my knees.
Anyhow, he checked out before me, but I could see him in the Parking Lot waiting for me. So I stalled. And he stalled. When I walked out he was practically leaning out the passenger side window, trying to get my attention.
I didn't even glance his way. As I got into my car, he backed out and turned around. I got into the car and closed the door just as he slowly passed me.
He smiled and I nodded and smiled (ever polite :bang:)
He kept looking behind at me as he drove for the main road... the way I normally take home. I let him get some distance between us, then I took another road in the opposite direction.
I was in no way scared. I just felt exposed and vulnerable and I felt like he was a rude flirt. And then it hit me. I did know that guy. He's older and worse for wear, but 12 years ago, he was a regular at a club I used to strip at. He was a racist prick who felt like he could cop a feel so long as he bought you a drink.
I told him if he didn't knock of his racist crap, I wasn't going to speak to him anymore. He thought that was the funniest thing ever. He wasn't laughing when I went and sat by myself at the other end of the bar.
And realizing that brought up a lot of other very unwelcoming memories.
And now I feel like crap :crying:
But I made my sons appointment for therapy, so that's out of the way. AND I'm washing my blankets...
This month has been hell. I caught my fiance talking to other women online and lying compulsively. This week we had to commit my little brother to a mental hospital. He has been setting fires, torturing and molesting animals, compulsively masturbating, and breaking out in violent rages towards both my mother and I. I even started locking and pushing furniture in front of my bedroom door at night. My mother, bless her heart, just stopped sleeping at night in fear that he might attempt to set fire to the house and/or hurt one of us. We have had to call the police several times but they have told us that they can do nothing and the next time we call CPS will open a case against us. When we checked him into the acute short term care facility we thought we had found the solution. They have simply doped him up and plan on sending him home Friday. My mother needs me. I can't let her see how distraught I am. My fiance isn't much help. The day we took my brother in, I stood in the corner of my room and fell to pieces, begging him to hold me. He just sat on my bed staring at the wall angry because "I never listen to him". Oh, and my dog died.
Damn it. Yester day I played my first match in LoL on my own (I usually play with my friends), and I lost all 3 matches despite playing fairly well (I usually hold my own when playing with my friends, and they're all level 30. I'm level 15). Then today I played another four matches on my own, and I lost all of those as well. Most frustrating was the last one, where we were actually doing good, but then a team fight went sour and they aced us. Then to top it of, one of the enemy players has the nerve to say "easy" just as they win. And I know it's just a game, and that it's not really important, and that the other people here are complaining of much worse stuff... But damn it, I am so incredibly frustrated right now.
Frustration is frustration, khh, whether it be over something as serious as death or as minute as a game. I think that all here agree, it doesn't matter what you're posting about, we are here to listen to you rant and rave, cry and complain no matter how small the issue!
Lol wow I can't believe my post about my oozing flesh wound got so many likes, and replies. :lol: I'll reply to you guys later, thanks. :hugitout:
Do you need a mental hospital yet too?
Fuck....
One, your fiancee sounds like a fucking loser.
Two, you made the mistake of going to an acute care facility.
He likely has not just had a breakdown, but developing some sort of schizophrenia or mania.
You need to get him to a psychologist (when the meds wear off) who will be able to commit him or whatever course of treatment they think is right. But it's usually commitment for psychological and medical treatment until they are stable, and then continued outside of a facility after that.
Your mother needs you, but obviously you need her coz your fiancee is a dick. Share your emotions with each other, don't let it be a one way thing, otherwise you'll be taking on all the pressure yourself.
I'm very, very sorry about your dog.
:hug:
EDIT: Just realise the first bit of this post sounds really harsh, I didn't mean it like that at all.
:hug: Shaelyn
Sounds like you and your mother are going through hell right now. Why not let CPS get involved. In my experience, the one good thing they actually do is make sure kids get medical and psychiatric attention when needed. I don't know how different Texas is compared to West Virginia, but it might be worth looking into.
How old is your brother? Another option is to go to Court and have him declared unruly. It's only a status offense here, which means there's no criminal record, but it starts the ball rolling in getting helpful attention.
:therethere: Khh. I know that frustration well! Rant on :)
My newest rant is that hubby doesn't think these are spider bites after all. He thinks they're Chiggers, mostly because of the knot underneath the bites :bang:
So I bought some clear fingernail polish to put over them.
Bunny passed more blood looking stuff. I think it's urine, which has to mean his kidneys aren't happy about something (or are outright failing). The only thing different is his diet. I thought I'd save a few bucks this week and just get him grass and clovers. Maybe he's been domesticated for too long and can't properly process good ole natures bounty. So I just went out and got him some pellets. We'll soon see if there's any improvement.
I'm also paranoid now since this afternoons encounter. Which is just silly.
Finished further maths exam just now. Last question goes like this: R1 = 1, R3 = 111, R7 = 1111111. Prove by induction that 13579 x Rn results in a string of (n-4) consecutive 7s.
F*** you exam board.
You'd think the freagin man from yesterday accosted me the way my anxiety is raging. What the frick is the matter with you, Brain?
I left the house moments ago to go to Speedway for a Coke. I had adrenaline surges and YAWNING the whole way there and back. I went through all the proper motions: smile and nod at passerby's; sing along with the radio; chastise my idiocy; told myself I was safe that I wore my usual unattractive clothes [to thwart unwanted advances] yadda yadda... and still, the anxiety raged.
And then it occurred to me: is that why I prefer long skirts? I'm by no means beautiful but I don't handle aggressive (?) interest [flirting] well. When I was in my 20's, I actually wanted to scar my face to turn people away.
Part of it is my ever-politeness. Part of it is my ridiculous submissiveness. When I was younger, I didn't think I had the right to turn down men. I'm not quite as stupid now-a-days, but the thinking is still there at the back of my mind. It's better to just avoid people. Be quiet, blend in with the shadows, walk as silently as possible, don't draw attention to yourself, don't make yourself a target, but don't forget to smile :roll:
It's hard for most people to be angry at someone who smiles and treats everyone with kindness.
You'd think I was raped and beaten all my life :bang: (I wasn't)
Gah....
It was ridiculously hot out for a long time and suddenly today I wake up to a thunder storm. I'm trying to be in a good mood and not care, tell myself it's just weather, just rain, there's no reason to feel any different, but am finding it impossible. The weather is depression for me. I lack energy and just feel like sleeping.
^ Aww, I like dreary weather.
re: Anyone know how Deery is doing?
I finally scraped up enough courage to go up in the attic and look around this afternoon. I armed myself with the biggest kitchen knife I own and had 911 typed into my phone, ready to dial just incase. I realize I was being kind of moronic, but it made me feel better so...*shrug* There was, of course, no one there. Nothing was even disturbed! I feel like I'm going insane because I am positive of the noises I heard, even the damn cat heard it! The only thing slightly out of place was my grandmother's sewing box. The one side was pulled open just a little, which I know is abnormal because I haven't touched the thing since she died. Sigh. The mystery continues.
Also, I found a little robin fledgling in my driveway today. The poor thing could not fly more than a few inches off the ground and I knew it shouldn't be out of it's nest. I tried to keep an eye on it while I made a few calls and eventually found out I could take it into a local wildlife branch of the SPCA. I was all happy and excited and my daughter and I had made a little bed for it from a tupperware container and some kleenex, so I went outside to get it...and it was gone. I searched for over an hour outside for it, but no luck. I know it didn't fly away, it barely had any feathers, so all I can think is that some neighborhood cat got it, which is the saddest thing ever. I want to cry just thinking about it. :(