Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

This is so BS. I know I set an alarm timer to wake me up a few hours for a WBTB. I know turned it off, but I didn't even stay up long enough for the WBTB!

What a waste of the night!!! Bullcrap dreams as ever....I wonder if I can still go into a dream after 6-7 hours of sleep....LOL damn it....

Don't you have even more dreams after 6-7 hours? The trick is falling asleep again in the first place.

Also, my grandpa is in recovery. He should be fine. It's a huuuge weight off my shoulders.

Well yeah, I can fall asleep, it's just trying to maintain a small awareness so I can WILD my way in the dreaming plane. That's the only reason why I'm mad, the anchors that I use aren't working because I become unconscious.

And I don't want to use any new anchors because it'll take time to readjust

Ahhhhhhh I lost it! I remembered this old Hamtaro game I had for the GameBoy Color and I went to go find it (I could've sworn I knew where it was) but it's not there. Worse yet, it's not ANYWHERE. Now I'm panicking because that game is so nostalgic, I couldn't bare to lose it.

Massive everyone.

I'm ranting at whoever it was that posted that squirrel video. I spent 2 HOURS lost watching out of order shows but I couldn't help myself

It's also been raining all day. While I love the rain, I'm unable to wash and dry my clothes and the puppy keeps dragging my sheets off of my bed. Once my sheets hit the floor I wont use them again until they're washed because she has had several accidents and I can't be CERTAIN I've found all her pee spots. It smells a little like dog pee in my room
Tomorrow I HAVE to buy a carpet cutter and pull up everything I can. I LOATHE carpet. Even if you surface clean, it's absorbed by the padding underneath. My daughter and her friend got sick in my room last year. My room smelled of vomit despite having scrubbed and re-scrubbed the spot. In frustration, I ripped up that section of carpeting and there was actual vomit in between the pad and the FLOOR

I am also mentally exhausted. I took my son out today from around 1-4. We got his Voters Registration card application filled out, but because he doesn't have an ID, it'll take 10 business days to get it (no biggy, we were expecting 3 weeks anyhow), then we stopped at Goodwill to look for a shirt that would fit him. 3XL were just a tad too small I wandered down the road to where I thought the GED classes were held and (surprisingly) I had been right But he can't register without a photo ID And classes are from 9-noon Mon-Fri.. Then we stopped at Family Dollar to look for a shirt... nothing. Then I went to Sheetz for a drink and Walmart in the shirt quest and we found one. 3XL but cut a little differently. THEN I went to the Dollar Tree to buy him some socks and body spray. Came home and got lost watching those video's until my son kicked me off
At 9:30, I'm going to drive him to Exxon to speak with the manager. I'll drop him off and he can walk home. I'll give him an umbrella

I am pooped.

I've been "working" on my presentation for over an hour, what do I have done? The title. -.-
I procrastinate too much, hence the post you are currently reading.

I miss Dianeva.

Also, I have no clean clothes left.

The two are not related.

Oh yeah.. I'm also now ranting because I realized I forgot to give a hug and thanks to Singularity for the kind words
That was very sweet.

My shrink says I'm being a good mom by trying to find a solution that's best for my kids. I can't step up to the plate. I know that. He said some people would just ignore the kids and let them roam or kick them out etc.
I still feel crappy though. I always dreamed of being a mom when I was young. But a GREAT mom.
I blew it

My son heard me call myself a terrible mom earlier while on the phone (I was repeating what my youngest was going through with her sister) and he laughed and said: "Okay... I'll admit it. You ARE a terrible mom. But you're a great person and we all love you for it."

But then he felt bad and he worried I'd get all depressed.
Nope... the time of depression has passed for the most part. Time to look for solutions.

Originally Posted by Solarflare

I'm having an argument with my friend (its kinda personal so I won't say what it is about). And if I lose this particular argument it MIGHT be very detrimental to me. It might or it might not. But damn this argument is so fun, its like a thrill ride! Like I am on a roller coaster up-side down and loop-dee-loop and flying through the sky.



I enjoy debating and arguing, damn I should be a lawyer or something

I lost said argument, but I ended it by Grammar Nazi-ing him so I feel like i won ;_;

Spoiler for Too long didn't read:

Spoiler for There's more to life than worrying about an exam:

Spoiler for Don't kid yourself reading this:

Spoiler for This isn't really compelling to read anyway:

Spoiler for Not sure if you would actually want to see this.:

Spoiler for eeeeh not quite:

Spoiler for Almost there.:

Spoiler for psssssssst!! YOU MAD?:

I decide to see if my Biology Exam 2 grade is up as yet, horrible music to play when I saw the grade. I need to make 95s on the third exam and the final in order to get a a decent portion of the 75% of what lecture exams covers, and I'll need to do really well in the lab to at least get 20% of the 25% it covers in the overall grade in Biology.

Well. I guess I'll probably be spending tomorrow or later on in a few days studying for the next 4 chapters, because there is no way I'm going to fail again lol. I shouldn't be worried because of the curve that will have to come with the class (because the professor is probably trying to prevent the class from get a 70 average so that everyone gets free points to boost their grades).

I'm seriously worried, but it's spring break, I shouldn't let it stop me from relaxing, but still, I feel like just turning off all emotions and just using logic again to deal with this >.<

I don't like that side because I think too much D:

I don't want to think much during Spring break....but again, I am paying for this tuition (wait a second, no I'm not, the government is, so does it really matter?) I'm doing well on the other classes, and I doubt the GPA I'll get this semester will be lower than the one I had first semester.

Lol, if I'm worried about taking shit courses in college, I can't wait to see how I'll do when I take actual Biochemistry courses (not these piss poor easy seminars and introductory crap).

I'm shivering, I'm scared, am I going for the right major? I mean, it's not a horrible major, in fact, it's so hard that if you do well you're bound to get into medical school. I just don't know, I can become many things with it, if I find a way to make it useful, but I don't know D:

Maybe I should take this Spring break to study for things next week, though the only thing to study for is my Biology Lab Quiz next week. If I start right now, I can get a heads up and make flash cards, so that when I go back to A&M, I can just look over them and have them in my head and destroy the quiz next Thursday, but I don't know. There's a lot of shit to cover and memorize for the quiz, and the quiz is at most 8 questions or so!

So it's basically instilling as much shit as possible so that those few questions will not fuck me over. I think I have a C+ in the lab, which is definitely will not equal 25% that it covers. Shit. I think I'm being a little too passive with these things happening to me, I think I might fail all my courses, not get enough money, live off in the streets, and probably just...just...live in a box.

I wonder how all those people do so well with high GPAs. Maybe it's their agenda, how they set up their schedule, but mine is almost perfect, with the only disadvantage was having 3 exams at once 2 weeks ago. Maybe I should seek guidance in my dreams, because I just don't know what to do right now. I'm not in a bad situation, it's only midterms so far, so I still have a chance to do well, but when I say that, a side of me just wants to prove me wrong.

I think I have a separate side that occurs in me when I just can't think of anything else to do, or maybe I'm just crazy :x I know by the time I look at this over, I'll wonder what the hell went on in my mind.

I guess it's better than having thoughts of giving up....it really is a challenge trying to live in this world without trying to fucking dissociate something about you. I wonder how I will cope when I get a career and have to deal with a boss, I hope I won't be killing anyone by that time. I'm sure I'll do fine....it's not a big deal, it shouldn't be.

I would like to meet a DG or something to boost my self-esteem a little bit right now, like give me some prediction that will force me to be serious

I don't really see anything bad happening to me, even if I think I'm doing bad in college right now, maybe I just need lethargic jolt from this person I've been trying to find (other than the two people I'm looking for). Maybe I'm going too far with this? Maybe I'm not realizing the consequences for doing these things? Only way is to keep overcoming these WBTBs that end up being half-assed and hopefully have lucids with more recall rather than non-lucids that don't make sense.

I think I've pretty much set myself up to be alone and rely on dreaming for help now, since it seems to be the only reliable source for motivation. Actual people that I interact with her in waking life are just....condescending at times, they're so full of shit. They only want to bring you down, and yet they still wish you the best of luck. I don't understand that contradiction, people are just shit. I think that will be my new set convictions, only trusting a few and only a few. There's no point trying to get into too many people's lives other than those you can relate to, and if that's what I have to do, I guess I'll have to shift towards that mindset until I find something better.

This world is so weird. It can be so peaceful when you try your best and do well, but it can still suck when you realize there are just some things you cannot control. I think I've been feeding off of internal locus of control, that everything that has happened to me has been with my own hands, but I still rely on lady luck to compel me that still half-ass through things. I'm sure there's a limit to this luck, and it I find myself desperately pushing it just to see how far I can make myself feel like shit.

Bleleleheheklfhjakdfaksdfjleheheleheallalalalallal aala. TOO MANY FREAKING THOUGTHSTHAKGHASDGKG

You know those times when you have completely conflicting emotions, yeah. I'm currently mixed with "kill myself, I hate everything, I feel so lonely" and "omg everything is beautiful i want to experience life so much"

I woke up and took a shower and got ready for school....An hour later I realized it was 1 AM. FML

Somewhere in southern California, my bank card is taking its own vacation. I presume it fell out at that truck stop near Blythe but who knows. Oh sure, I canceled it, and now I'm using my Chase card and earning points, but still, one of the worst non-life-threateningly things that can happen on a trip. Aaaggghhh!

And it is raining the whole rest of the week.

And yesterday I couldn't start the car because I was low on gas and parked on a hill and the fuel pump couldn't reach the fuel. I had to roll backwards with no power steering and turn into a neighbor's driveway and hope it would start. Thankfully it did.

Still....AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!

I miss everyone!

I miss Sindred xD Where'd that crazy man go anyway.

This semester the guy I'm sharing the kitchen and bathroom with has been away. It was wonderful. Now he has apparently decided to stay where he is for another semester, and his twin brother is in the process of moving into his room. I don't like his twin brother. Fuck.

If they are identical twins, you could just imagine it as some sort of Sci-Fi "invasion of the body-snatchers" tale. Roommate moves out, moves back in, personality is completely different. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU, you get driven mad, scripted story unfolds with a shocking twist.

everyone.
Link, I read it all and smiled at your warnings No advice though

I hope you're feeling better today Erii and that your trip gets better, Melanie.

Hahaha, Mancon. I hate when that happens!!

I'm ranting because I didn't fall asleep until nearly 8AM and I was awake completely by 1PM.
My son came in to wake me at noon and he started laughing.

The puppy has a love/hate thing for my alcoholic baby wipes. One day, she peed on the floor but I was on the phone, so I threw a few over it, hoping it would sop some of it up. The puppy smelled it and jumped back because of it. Then she started attacking it I got off the phone early, took the wipes away from her because she was carrying them around at that point, then cleaned her mess.
Whenever it's time to go to sleep, I sit on my mattress then wipe off my feet first. The puppy then tries to lick them.

Anyhow... the wipes are in a hard plastic container. I had it laying on the floor beside my mattress. When my son came to wake me, the puppy had somehow managed to open the container and she had a bunch of wipes strewn about and was attacking them.
Meesha is a strange one

When I woke, I went to KFC I thought I was home free now that my gallbladder has been removed. Nope. Still can't eat the stuff. My stomach hasn't been this angry in a long time. So I've been in the bathroom for the better part of the afternoon

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

If they are identical twins, you could just imagine it as some sort of Sci-Fi "invasion of the body-snatchers" tale. Roommate moves out, moves back in, personality is completely different. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU, you get driven mad, scripted story unfolds with a shocking twist.

I'm worried it's a tragedy and will end with my death...

Originally Posted by Solarflare

I hate it when people meddle into my affairs thinking they own my problem and have to fix it for themselves. Going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about MY problems. I know that they are trying to be nice and whatnot but fuck off. You aren't in anyway shape or form related to my dilemma, stop pressuring me and being a faggot about it. And hell, I told him that he should shut up about MY problem but he didn't. And he is always so demanding and.... annoying >_>

Now I've imagine this person going on and on and on about your problem with how much they go on and on and on about your problems.

Originally Posted by dave1701

Somebody shoot me. Just fucking shoot me. Take me out back and shoot me, bury me in the woods. Run me over with a bus as I cross the road tomorrow. Ship me over to Zimbabwe so I can starve, get AIDS, and die. Seriously death can't be worse than this bullshit.

Where do you live? I'll do it if you want me to.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

This is so BS. I know I set an alarm timer to wake me up a few hours for a WBTB. I know turned it off, but I didn't even stay up long enough for the WBTB!
What a waste of the night!!! Bullcrap dreams as ever....I wonder if I can still go into a dream after 6-7 hours of sleep....LOL damn it....

Fucking happened to me this morning too. It happens a lot actually. Although I had some intense and fucked up dreams.

Originally Posted by Mancon

I woke up and took a shower and got ready for school....An hour later I realized it was 1 AM. FML

Why do people keep doing this? I've heard this around 4 times in a couple of months.
I guess most people pay zero attention to the light levels or the birds singing etc.?
Or don't even look at a clock?

Originally Posted by khh

This semester the guy I'm sharing the kitchen and bathroom with has been away. It was wonderful. Now he has apparently decided to stay where he is for another semester, and his twin brother is in the process of moving into his room. I don't like his twin brother. Fuck.

Are the identical? He's could just be fucking with you. They should be similar people at least, so I don't see how you can hate one of them lol

lol Khh. I hope it's not as bad as you fear!!

I'm a little bummed out because I went over to the neighbors house when I saw him outside raking. I wanted to make sure Snuffanuff hasn't been bothering him.
We ended up talking for about 30 minutes. He's an elderly gentleman and it saddened me when he mentioned when his wife got sick it was back in 2004. Have I really not said 2 words to them in 8 years?!!! And the neighbor to his other side was his mother-in-law. She died in January. She was 103 and I don't recall even having met her.
My anti-socialness amazes and saddens me sometimes.

But Snuffanuff has been a good boy and the neighbor says he's been no bother at all

My husband had a medical audit today (and this entire week). He had one just 1 year ago. They keep imposing all sorts of regulations but keep dropping what Medicare pays (and in effect all other insurance). He used to see 24 patients for surgery but he's had to drop down to 17. Once he gets to 12-14, he'll no longer be making any profit. He's the only doctor in his practice and he's thinking about telling those people to go shove it. His anesthesiologist also has to get some health department issued CPR card or somesuch so the anesthesiologist is about to tell them to shove it too.
Hubby came home and went straight to bed without even calling me. I hate him being this bummed and stressed.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Hubby came home and went straight to bed without even calling me. I hate him being this bummed and stressed.

I haaaaate that. I had to train my bf upon pain of death not to do that. Ever. He works at a cement plant so "no call" could equal "he died" or it could equal "he didn't care". I told him if it was ever the second, I would make sure the first happened.

And that's how you train a dude

How's your stitches?

Hubby woke at midnight and we just finished talking.
He always signals me he's home because the perimeter alarms go off. One is inside the garage connected to his house. He placed it there because it was inside his big garage but the contractors knocked it over and he thought it was broken I told him to leave it where it is because I like knowing when he's home.
Once he's inside, he changes his Gmail status to "napping".
We have a good system going on

Stitches are healing very nicely. There's still a knot in 2 of them, but I read on-line that they should go away on their own. I see the Dr. on the 19th.
I've been feeling more energetic because I've been popping caffeine AND Green Tea with Hoodia. I'm only eating 1 meal a day and healthy snacks about 3 times. I'm wanting to go outside and find a slender tree, do a hand-stand against it, wrap my legs around it and start doing sit-ups
If hubby wont buy me a pole, by golly I'll just have to find the next best thing... but it occurred to me 1) I shouldn't even try something like that just yet because of my surgery 2) Who am I kidding, I wouldn't even be ABLE to do something like that straight away
But I really hate warming into things

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I'm wanting to go outside and find a slender tree, do a hand-stand against it, wrap my legs around it and start doing sit-ups
If hubby wont buy me a pole, by golly I'll just have to find the next best thing...

HAH. What, did you actually pole dance before?

Not a critical question, just like, wow. I would kill to be able to do sit-ups upside down on a tree!

Originally Posted by tommo

Are the identical? He's could just be fucking with you. They should be similar people at least, so I don't see how you can hate one of them lol

Yeah, they are, but he's not fucking with me. I can tell them apart. And they are similar in a way, but one is a guy lacking in social skills where the other feels more like a narcissist.