Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

What the guards were doing were fighting back when I would shoot them.

Some of them would alert others that I'm there, and I would kill the poor soul before they got the chance to hear.

Some of them took many bullets to kill, it's just a reflex to just kill them if they come at me in an evil manner.

I would kill zombies, almost get a woman killed trying to do so, resetting. And I remember I was on a ship one time, and apparently I'm in the body of Solid Snake from Metal Gear, and I would kill the guards, but some voice tells me to revive them back.

Kill kill kill kill, that's all I did. I couldn't keep them alive! They would've attacked me! I could do nothing but retaliate and just kill kill kill. I enjoyed killing them because they were interfering in me understand what's up with my mind.

Although I shouldn't be killing in my dreams all the time, if my mind is going to give me crap, I might as well retaliate and demand it give me some kind of answer. I've been playing the good little boy in my dreams for too long now. (lol too long, I've only been doing this thing for like almost a year now...)

Edit: Also, Sinoblak told me that in one dream (the same dream where I was killing guards on the ship, the dream before that, I was fighting Toguro from Yu Yu Hakusho at 80-85% of his power (though Sensui did most of the fighting). Of course, not all interpretations are right, it did make sense that I was only 80-85% ready to gain a "sacred" mentality.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

And Carrot, that sounds horrible! Toilet dreams.

I am not dreaming about them any more. I've probably solved the problem my subconscious was telling me.

Or maybe it's still too early to tell. The last unpleasant toilet dream ended with me trying to do my business but I was being distracted by the glare of a television that's playing "Casper the friendly ghost".

Personally, I am very thankful for toilet dreams. They keep me from peeing the bed

I always tell my brain to say what it wants and not to bombard me with a lot of symbolism because it will usually go right over my head.
Thankfully, the symbolism used is basic.
Not sure what you mean, Link, by Guards.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Not sure what you mean, Link, by Guards.

Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views - Linkzelda41's Dream Journal - Dream Journals

Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views - Linkzelda41's Dream Journal - Dream Journals

In fact, I had a dream about you Zhaylin: Meeting Zhaylin, Someone Tricks Me, Science Review Game - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

By guards, I just mean entities blocking me from finding the truth, or some type of reasoning for my dreams. Alarms, etc., things holding me back.

Edit: *ignore the golden object dream if you looked at the links*

Link: Hopes this helps Dream Moods: Your Dream Symbol Interpretation

I try to take those interpretations with a grain of salt, especially with how my mind works in my dreams, those definitions are only supplements, Carrot, rather than absolute. Thank you though.

I just believe a direct approach is better, because you want to know beyond the symbolic meaning, that's just me.

You're absolutely right in any way you wish to interpret it, I'm just thinking those interpretations can be a head start if you are not sure. After all it's your dream, no one knows it better than you do.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

What the guards were doing were fighting back when I would shoot them.

Some of them would alert others that I'm there, and I would kill the poor soul before they got the chance to hear.

Some of them took many bullets to kill, it's just a reflex to just kill them if they come at me in an evil manner.

I would kill zombies, almost get a woman killed trying to do so, resetting. And I remember I was on a ship one time, and apparently I'm in the body of Solid Snake from Metal Gear, and I would kill the guards, but some voice tells me to revive them back.

Kill kill kill kill, that's all I did. I couldn't keep them alive! They would've attacked me! I could do nothing but retaliate and just kill kill kill. I enjoyed killing them because they were interfering in me understand what's up with my mind.

Although I shouldn't be killing in my dreams all the time, if my mind is going to give me crap, I might as well retaliate and demand it give me some kind of answer. I've been playing the good little boy in my dreams for too long now. (lol too long, I've only been doing this thing for like almost a year now...)

Edit: Also, Sinoblak told me that in one dream (the same dream where I was killing guards on the ship, the dream before that, I was fighting Toguro from Yu Yu Hakusho at 80-85% of his power (though Sensui did most of the fighting). Of course, not all interpretations are right, it did make sense that I was only 80-85% ready to gain a "sacred" mentality.

Well it sounds like you already know what I would tell you. Don't kill them, get answers out of them! If you have the ability to kill them then you also have the ability to fend them off and overpower them. Or maybe they're just trying to kill you because you expect them to. Try changing your perspective!

My mom told my dad that I was annoyed that he left me when he went on vacation. He gave me a speech, lol.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... I have to change my major soon, preferably before class scheduling. Because I don't want to take a semester of Environmental science/biology courses... But I don't know what I want to major in yet.

Fuck. Just fucking shit. (And I don't like to swear to describe my mood; so this is kind of terrible.) I have a pit in my stomach.

I'm also in the category "Not enough facial hair to get away with not shaving" but "Too much to not have to shave." FUCK. JUST. ARGHGHHARHUGUGHAERH

^^ Dude I know how you feel. I was in pre-med for 7 semesters before changing to opera. Because of a frog-pithing mishap in lab.

Anyhow, what are you interested in? I know, that question seems elementary, but I just mean in general. Because if you're doing a bachelors right now, you can keep it kind of generic, then specialize in your masters.

^ Have you considered talking to a professional? Do you take anti-depressants or exercise regularly? That could really help lift your spirits. =/
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Link, I just learned that you banned Xei from Tinychat. Why would you do such a terrible, terrible thing. D:

Preserver and Anthony.

I'm ranting over the surgical tape now lol I showed my stomach to hubby when he got home and he looked so sad and concerned. I've been on again off again dizzy-ish and I've felt feverish (hot/cold flashes) but my temp is fine.
I just asked hubby if the tape he saw is indeed surgical tape and if I should leave it alone. He said I don't want to get to the last layer, but there should be butterfly tape beneath it (but for me to leave alone what's already there). I've cut off *most* of the last layer of tape. It wouldn't have been so bad if they knew how to tape a person up without scrinching their skin. I have welts where the tape was. I covered the area with bandaids.
I risked removing the tape from one area that looked like a hesitation mark to me (above the actual incision as indicated by blood loss). Turns out, it actually looks like a hard blood blister. I bandaged it too.


Heard from my daughters tonight. My eldest finally has a foster family. It's a black couple with 2 babies, a 7 year old and a 12 year old (all fosters except the 7 year old whom they adopted). She met them on Saturday, has a home visit with them this weekend and again the following weekend, then she's living with them. My daughter's all excited that they're black lol. She's had very little exposure to anyone other than white until her placement. A lot of the girls locked up with her are of different races and she's enjoyed the differences.
I just hope it's a good match and they don't depend on her too much for helping with the littler ones. My daughter LOVES babies and little kids and will be a great help, but I don't want her to lose focus from her own goals and herself.
My daughter is also a sex-fiend so I hope she behaves around the man of the house :/

My youngest daughter is upset about her sisters placement and she is still crying to come home. She's even crying for me to come see her this weekend though I've explained it cannot be done. It's just too risky for me to be on the road for 4 hours (2 hours there, 2 back).

I don't know if any of you guys have done this but... if you pinch the inside of your belly button, (for me anyhow) it seems to pinch the ureter and cause a lower stomach/groin pang. I get those a lot now. They're very short lived and most curious.

**EDIT**
Dianeva. I don't know what's going on but we're all here for you.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Anyhow, what are you interested in? I know, that question seems elementary, but I just mean in general. Because if you're doing a bachelors right now, you can keep it kind of generic, then specialize in your masters.

I have too many things, really. History, Religion, Sociology, Political Science, Philosophy... (I love Humanities.)

I am working on a Bachelor's, but if I don't decide soon I'll be behind on courses, which would put studying abroad at odds with heavy courseload... Also, I'm paying for my college myself, and if I don't graduate in 4 years I'll have NO scholarships for the 5th.

I feel as though subconsciously I've already decided on History, but I have to double major (I'm an overachiever, or at least I attempt to be, so one major to me is lazy.)

To Zhaylin, Dianeva, Link, everyone everywhere: Hugs all around.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

^ Have you considered talking to a professional? Do you take anti-depressants or exercise regularly? That could really help lift your spirits. =/
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Link, I just learned that you banned Xei from Tinychat. Why would you do such a terrible, terrible thing. D:

Well, I didn't see the username "Xei" on tinychat. All I saw at the time was dsgroup and earl, me and ophelia didn't know who the hell they were at the time, so how is this a bad thing if no one decides to say what their username was?

Especially when the server was hacked, you'd think playing as "dsgroup" is the appropriate username?

Edit: Besides, you can go to the banlist and forgive. I'm sorry Xei, I just didn't know it was you since all I saw was "dsgroup" and "earl" log in. (earl was Tommo I believe).

I went to the banlist and forgived the guest anyway.

Ok that's a heap of stuff

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Preserver and Anthony.

I'm ranting over the surgical tape now lol I showed my stomach to hubby when he got home and he looked so sad and concerned. I've been on again off again dizzy-ish and I've felt feverish (hot/cold flashes) but my temp is fine.
I just asked hubby if the tape he saw is indeed surgical tape and if I should leave it alone. He said I don't want to get to the last layer, but there should be butterfly tape beneath it (but for me to leave alone what's already there). I've cut off *most* of the last layer of tape. It wouldn't have been so bad if they knew how to tape a person up without scrinching their skin. I have welts where the tape was. I covered the area with bandaids.
I risked removing the tape from one area that looked like a hesitation mark to me (above the actual incision as indicated by blood loss). Turns out, it actually looks like a hard blood blister. I bandaged it too.

K, I'm no doctor, but I'd neosporin the fuck out of that area and go back to the doc, or at least a clinic and have it looked at, cleaned, flushed, redressed, or something!

Heard from my daughters tonight. My eldest finally has a foster family. It's a black couple with 2 babies, a 7 year old and a 12 year old (all fosters except the 7 year old whom they adopted). She met them on Saturday, has a home visit with them this weekend and again the following weekend, then she's living with them. My daughter's all excited that they're black lol. She's had very little exposure to anyone other than white until her placement. A lot of the girls locked up with her are of different races and she's enjoyed the differences.
I just hope it's a good match and they don't depend on her too much for helping with the littler ones. My daughter LOVES babies and little kids and will be a great help, but I don't want her to lose focus from her own goals and herself.
My daughter is also a sex-fiend so I hope she behaves around the man of the house :/

That reminds me of White Oleander. I worry for the girl.

My youngest daughter is upset about her sisters placement and she is still crying to come home. She's even crying for me to come see her this weekend though I've explained it cannot be done. It's just too risky for me to be on the road for 4 hours (2 hours there, 2 back).

I am so sorry for the little one. I guess there's no way for the hubby to take you there?

I don't know if any of you guys have done this but... if you pinch the inside of your belly button, (for me anyhow) it seems to pinch the ureter and cause a lower stomach/groin pang. I get those a lot now. They're very short lived and most curious.

When I scratch the inside of my belly button, I get a pinch feeling in my bladder, like I have to pee. Don't know if that's the same thing.[/quote]

I'm not trying to make my responses sound harsh Zhaylin, I'm just multitasking between son's homework and DV. I hope all your kids are ok. They deserve security and happiness and so does their mother.

As predicted, im pretty fucked even after only 500m of swimming :/ anf I havent even walked home yet..

My heart feels lonely. It needs hug. I haven't been hugging for a long time.

My family isn't exactly inclined to hugging. And I just dreamt of a couple hugging in my dream. Why do you have to remind me subconscious?

Originally Posted by Carrot

My heart feels lonely. It needs hug. I haven't been hugging for a long time.

My family isn't exactly inclined to hugging. And I just dreamt of a couple hugging in my dream. Why do you have to remind me subconscious?

Originally Posted by Carrot

My heart feels lonely. It needs hug. I haven't been hugging for a long time.

My family isn't exactly inclined to hugging. And I just dreamt of a couple hugging in my dream. Why do you have to remind me subconscious?

Originally Posted by Carrot

My heart feels lonely. It needs hug. I haven't been hugging for a long time.

My family isn't exactly inclined to hugging. And I just dreamt of a couple hugging in my dream. Why do you have to remind me subconscious?

Awww Carrot, it's a good thing you came here then.

Well, made a doctors appointment for tomorrow. Hopefully get antibiotics for my toe, and then nail removed next Friday. The panic of needles returns. I hate needles, and now I'm going to be panicking over this till my appointment is done Also, this means I have to stop drinking for like 2 weeks.

You can do it, OldSparta!

Awww.... Carrot, I hope we've helped at least a little bit.

Ophelia, thanks for the post. It didn't sound harsh at all
I'm keeping the areas very clean with 91% Isopropyl Alcohol (the only thing I truly trust for some strange reason). The "blood blister" looks MUCH better today. I think it looked so nasty at first because it was so scrinched under the tape. (And since when is Scrinch not a word lol).
I wont go anywhere to have it re-taped though. I'm psychotic when it comes to certain things. I'd just take the stuff back off as soon as I started feeling uncomfortable. I don't handle constant annoyance very well at all.
But everything looks okay. I'm still not running a temperature. The one wound is still warm to the touch, but not exceedingly so. And I've still left the tape over the actual wounds. I don't want to risk there not being any butterfly tape underneath it.
My entire stomach has faint polka dots all over it from the tape :/

Hubby wont take me to see my daughter. In his mind, she screwed up so I shouldn't see her at all and maybe it would help her realize just how badly she messed up and fix it. He's very old school like that.
I've never seen White Oleander. I'll have to look it up.

I'm ranting today because my 19 year old son is useless. I had to go to the store and pick up and buy the 17 pound bag of dog food myself because his back still hurts. He's renounced the puppy as his and refuses to do anything to help her most of the time.
I never have finished my poem.
I'm still dreaming about drowning and the RV. I understand the significance of drowning dreams. But the RV? I haven't driven that thing for well over 5 years. Maybe closer to a decade! I always had my catalepsy attacks while driving it though and driving it spiked my anxiety to such extremes that I finally broke down and found my p-doc. So is that it?
After surgery, I'm certain I had constant catalepsy attacks which prevented me from staying awake. Has my mind merely dredged up the RV because of that connection?

I'm complaining because this thread is five times larger than the "Post if you're happy or cheerful" thread.

We all have computer access. Which means we all probably have access to clean water, food, electricity, and shelter. Quitcher bitchin' .