Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by dasmiez

I had the "fantastic" idea to go to the cinema with my ex-girlfriend last Friday (she lives about 300 miles away, so the journey was quite extensive) and watch "Breaking Dawn"; I thought I'd be over her so that we can spend a nice evening as friends without any difficulties.

... oh, how wrong I've been. And now I do feel awful. Incredibly awful.

I'm sorry. Would you want to share any more details? If not, that's fine.

Soooo... watching $800 is cash hurts. Like... OMG SCREW YOU CAR, kinda hurt. the other $900 I have to pay with my debit card didn't hurt.

Also, I think it's today, but it's the 3th anniversary of my dad dying. :/ Least i think it's today. Might be tomorrow. I feel terrible for forgetting, but I sorta just... completely forgot the year 2009.

I get out of my Sociohorticulture class, it's fucking raining more than a depressed post-hormonal teenager.

I have no umbrella, no jacket, and I rode my bicycle to get to the building. So I have to power-walk because running would be horrible in this kind of weather.

Started to do some FAST PEDALLING like it was Mission Impossible. My good Black jeans are soaking wet, and my shirt is wet, but at least my Zune HD isn't wet or corrupted (thank god, or I would turn fucking emo).

And I have to go to a Chemistry Lecture before 3:55 PM. And if this weather continues, I'll have to walk with an umbrella and face the horrible raining here. And then I'd have to sit down in the seats with soak-able texture, so I'll have the other people's previous odors mixed in with my shirt, and once it dries up in class, I'll feel all icky and shit. And my Notebooks will probably be wet, so I won't have something to write on in the first place.

But I do admit it was nice riding in the rain, until my clothes got drenched...now my libido is increasing again...ugh...

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

That sounds about right. One of the reasons I always say it feels like my depression is conditioned in is because I know I can experience these really happy states of mind, it's just that when the depression hits I just can't seem to remember how. And it's not really like the general theme of my sadness changes, or my happiness either for that matter, and they really seem mutually exclusive. Yet they still manage to coexist to various degrees or even push each other out of the picture when at any given time the one that's dominant seems infallible. The thought that we're such complex beings alone often contributes to both sides for me.

Anyway, I'm not really feeling depressed right now, but I'm sure I will later. In the meantime, I'm glad you're at least half elated right now. I hope you can get to feeling even better soon.

Thanks Alyzarin, I can definitely relate to what you've said. And thanks for the invite.

OldSparta. Also, ouch. That's more money than I've got lol.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I get out of my Sociohorticulture class, it's fucking raining more than a depressed post-hormonal teenager.

I have no umbrella, no jacket, and I rode my bicycle to get to the building. So I have to power-walk because running would be horrible in this kind of weather.

Started to do some FAST PEDALLING like it was Mission Impossible. My good Black jeans are soaking wet, and my shirt is wet, but at least my Zune HD isn't wet or corrupted (thank god, or I would turn fucking emo).

And I have to go to a Chemistry Lecture before 3:55 PM. And if this weather continues, I'll have to walk with an umbrella and face the horrible raining here. And then I'd have to sit down in the seats with soak-able texture, so I'll have the other people's previous odors mixed in with my shirt, and once it dries up in class, I'll feel all icky and shit. And my Notebooks will probably be wet, so I won't have something to write on in the first place.

It's supposed to be raining pretty good here today, too. I'm looking forward to it, I love the rain. Sorry you got so wet, though!

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

But I do admit it was nice riding in the rain, until my clothes got drenched...now my libido is increasing again...ugh...

At least we can be libido buddies! (And I mean that in the most innocent way possible. )

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Thanks Alyzarin, I can definitely relate to what you've said. And thanks for the invite.

Sure thing.

How is your vision OldSparta? Maybe you can see far off perfectly but have trouble with the closer stuff? Anyhow for your poor toe.

Alyzarin, Dianeva, Link and anyone I might've missed.

Mr.Cuddlebug has spoken, and what he says is: "I refuse to be your prisoner any longer!!!!" And he's leaving me a million bunny "pellets" to show his displeasure in me. Not really... well, the poo accumulates quickly lol but I walk along behind him and throw them away. Stupid rabbits and their poo problems. I'd say there was something in the air, but Spring is a good while off. He's been shredding paper, excitedly exploring everywhere, and marking everything he likes with his cheeks. He took over the bottom shelf of the metal cabinet so I had to move everything on it higher.
And now he's taken over my blankets lol
He's a cutey but what has gotten into him? I think he's just happy and feels safe with me and his environment. But part of me wishes he was still just a tad insecure

Aww, he sounds adorable. You've made me really want a bunny now lol.

i thought it was funny, i didn't know you'd take that shit to heart.
no hard feelings man

That feeling inside of me to prove a person is wrong, but then realizing it's just the Internet, and even when I do find that I win, I would only realize that I wasted too much time trying to show "oooh loook at me, I'm smarter than youuuuuuuuuuuu, BASK IN MY FREAKING SUPERIORITY!." feeling .-.

Why does the Internet compel one to try and prove they are right, and to think that if they are wrong, they're suddenly not worth anything in life?

I honestly don't know how I get caught up with that lmao. I seriously need to move away from situations like that. I must remember that I'm trying to conquer the world.

Happy lucids everyone. Remember that if one person dies, things will feel different without them, but there will always be people to replace them. Isn't that beautiful? -____- It seems like we're only vessels to tell the story of the status quo. :/

Idiot fucks called me up to work again. Then called me back again and said "you might need to work again tomorrow".
FUCK, just say "CAN you work again tomorrow?" Or even "we need you to work tomorrow", not we "might" coz I know it's a fucking 100% we need you to work.
And it's Australia Day tomorrow, you shouldn't need me to work, you should be CLOSED!!!!
Just take ONE. GOD. DAMNED. DAY. OFF.
FFS!!!!
AHHHHHH!
Fuckers....

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

That feeling inside of me to prove a person is wrong, but then realizing it's just the Internet, and even when I do find that I win, I would only realize that I wasted too much time trying to show "oooh loook at me, I'm smarter than youuuuuuuuuuuu, BASK IN MY FREAKING SUPERIORITY!." feeling .-.

Why does the Internet compel one to try and prove they are right, and to think that if they are wrong, they're suddenly not worth anything in life?

Hmmmmm..... ok, seems reasonable.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I honestly don't know how I get caught up with that lmao. I seriously need to move away from situations like that. I must remember that I'm trying to conquer the world.

Interesting....

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

Happy lucids everyone. Remember that if one person dies, things will feel different without them, but there will always be people to replace them. Isn't that beautiful? -____- It seems like we're only vessels to tell the story of the status quo. :/

Originally Posted by tommo

And it's Australia Day tomorrow

lol, sounds made up.

I'm gonna get drunk and eat ice cream and go on IRC. NOW

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

Remember that if one person dies, things will feel different without them, but there will always be people to replace them. Isn't that beautiful? -____- It seems like we're only vessels to tell the story of the status quo. :/

That's the way of the world, my friend. Eventually all of the people who would remember that person would be gone anyway. And eventually ALL people will be gone. But then again, that might just be looking at it from too constrained a point of view. All people will be gone in our linear view of time, but time is relative, and once we die and our brains click off we're no longer anywhere relative to that line. Maybe life is just a fractal, or series of colliding fractals, like everything else there is. Even this universe, it has to have been created from a system of rules, and those rules from their own system of rules, and so on, and so on, and so on.... Maybe, in this way, the place we go to when we die is exactly the same place we are before we're born, like a fractal we take a different path all the way from one end to the next but we still wind up back at the start, and we just loop endlessly. Maybe we've already lived these lives infinitely and we will live them infinitely more, and thus we will never truly die off and will never truly be forgotten as there are already people now who know we exist and thus there always will be. If that's the case then maybe you should stop being so depressed about it and try to live life to the fullest, and as a result you'll net more happiness time than depression time in your life. Of course, like I said, time is relative. It'll be a net gain per life but on a universal scale you'll be repeating each segment infinitely and therefore you'll have an endless amount of depression time and an endless amount of happiness time. But you'll only remember it one slice at a time.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

That's the way of the world, my friend. Eventually all of the people who would remember that person would be gone anyway. And eventually ALL people will be gone. But then again, that might just be looking at it from too constrained a point of view. All people will be gone in our linear view of time, but time is relative, and once we die and our brains click off we're no longer anywhere relative to that line. Maybe life is just a fractal, or series of colliding fractals, like everything else there is. Even this universe, it has to have been created from a system of rules, and those rules from their own system of rules, and so on, and so on, and so on.... Maybe, in this way, the place we go to when we die is exactly the same place we are before we're born, like a fractal we take a different path all the way from one end to the next but we still wind up back at the start, and we just loop endlessly. Maybe we've already lived these lives infinitely and we will live them infinitely more, and thus we will never truly die off and will never truly be forgotten as there are already people now who know we exist and thus there always will be. If that's the case then maybe you should stop being so depressed about it and try to live life to the fullest, and as a result you'll net more happiness time than depression time in your life. Of course, like I said, time is relative. It'll be a net gain per life but on a universal scale you'll be repeating each segment infinitely and therefore you'll have an endless amount of depression time and an endless amount of happiness time. But you'll only remember it one slice at a time.

Oh no my friend. When I mentioned that dying part. It kind of goes along with that feeling I can't describe about living with human beings. I'm a sadistic person, sometimes what I think gives me peace may be a little bit too cruel than peaceful. I won't argue with what you think, but I do apologize if I sounded too depressing there...it's sort of a an accepting sadness that leads to power.

Try to think of what I think of it this way...

"Floating in space, and falling gradually to the Earth, knowing that you have the power to fly, that you don't need a bag of seeds or a trick up your sleeve. Knowing that what created you does not necessarily have to be your maker in decisions and fate.

Seeing the eyes of others who do not understand your whole character because you continually split it off at every moral crisis, and yet can still retain that sense of naivete and innocence that demands to be demoralized because each inkblot stained on the white piece of paper will inevitably turn black. Purity demands it, and it's worth the world being eradicated in seeing that blackness come true. To let the soul become deprived, but content in seeing the process come through, because we all deserve to know the experience of death quickly instead of prolonging the inevitable. I deserve it, you deserve it, we're all here for one resolution, to prevent bickering amongst ourselves."

(only anime fans would get what two characters I'm leeching this ideology from)

Ugh, I still can't find better words for it. But thank you Alyzarin, I get what you mean. <3

(Link, it's so fun reading your posts. I always get excited wondering what changes may show up the next time I hit refresh after reading through them again. )

I get what you're saying. At least, I think I do. And believe me, you don't have to explain being sadistic to me. That part of me I've kept locked away along with other aspects of my broken, multifaceted mind, but that doesn't mean it's not there. I used to both love and hate it before I started to understand why it was there in the first place and learned how to react to it.

Ugh... I had the WORST freagin night's sleep EVER and I even took a Minipress. Cuddlebug ended up peeing on my blankets lol so I washed them but line drying takes so long that I went to bed without covers.
It was supposed to be 20 degrees or so last night, so I blasted my heater. I was too out of it to get up and turn the thing down, so I roasted. I couldn't get comfy with sheets so I tossed and turned. I woke up several times in a seated position

My sheet is dry but my blanket is still damp. I'm still going to try to go back to sleep. I feel like barfing.,,

**EDIT**
I'm also mad at my brain for using my "safe room" (in dreams) for random DC's. It MY place. It's ALWAYS been MY place. What the heck, brain?!

I hate being shit at talking to people.

Playfully talking sexually with my friend over facebook which is fun.
But I hate knowing I'm going to go masturbate myself to sleep tonight.

She said to me once, after I said something to the effect of "It's ok coz I'm ugly too" (in part of a larger conversation I can't remember).

And she said "Naww, you just don't talk much".

ARGEWGWEKLGNWE WHY CAN'T I JUST MAKE BULLSHIT, POINTLESS CONVERSATION LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!????? (IRL)

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I can't describe this feeling, but this feeling where you start accepting the possibilities of another life, even though your ideals still try to make you afraid from being too optimistic, it kind of makes everyone you meet in your life as objects. Like you only can get so much out of these people, and even when you do that, it feels like you're just using them, especially when you don't give them the opportunity to use you back as well (in a positive way).

All the previous lovers, current crushes, etc., they just feel like something to keep my mind conformed to the typical cycle with relationships and social interaction, but nothing more. It's like I can't find any way to see these people as beings who are going to go a different path in life to hopefully find a universal truth in living and dying.

It just feels weird, it's good because it makes you value life a little bit more, but at the same time, it makes you think that it's just a process that you're forced to experience until you get the bigger picture. Kind of like a spiritual awakening, yet the conditions itself are too petty for such a big step in realization. Damn it.

I need the Triforce of Wisdom for this...

I feel so much the same. Sometimes it seems that my plans of leaving my homecountry has hade my past life dead to me. Some may be bitter and angry for my leaving. Some may be ingorant for I'm frankly expressing in every medium.. that's what gets you reputation of lunatic. They don't remove me from their friends, but may be they feel secret shame and don't dare to answer my postings for the sake of their so called 'friends'. Maybe I'm just irritating as hell and they filter me away. Maybe this is sunken dream and some other forces act as a barrier between. Maybe they hope for me and feel that remember as I was in my past acts against me changing. I really don't know... different options seem more likely to me in different days..

To quote peppers: 'once you know you can never go back, you gotta take it on the other side'

Originally Posted by tommo

I hate being shit at talking to people.

Playfully talking sexually with my friend over facebook which is fun.
But I hate knowing I'm going to go masturbate myself to sleep tonight.

I had a sexual conversation with a lesbian friend who I helped find a study guide for AP Government. She would talk about how that if she was wrapped in a Straitjacket, she would let me have my way with her....O.O

Then we started to stop talking to each other once we ran out of sexual things and philosophical things to say. (It was normally about relationships, sex, and then me secretly masturbating after a few hours of talking :<

She said to me once, after I said something to the effect of "It's ok coz I'm ugly too" (in part of a larger conversation I can't remember).

And she said "Naww, you just don't talk much".

ARGEWGWEKLGNWE WHY CAN'T I JUST MAKE BULLSHIT, POINTLESS CONVERSATION LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!????? (IRL)

Lmfao. I'm usually the the one who waits for the girl to start a conversation, at least you could keep things going. Maybe you just need to know when it should end.

I wish I could carry on like that.

My rant is that I went to my Chemistry Lab, and my teacher admits that he cannot speak English properly. Okay then, not a big deal. But when he starts admitting more things, like how he has had qualms with the adviser of the Chemistry TAs for not following the rules he has to follow for lab and for the safety of others, I'm a bit concerned on the overall safety when I go to that class.

And because he's still progressing in speaking fluent in English (that's not a big deal) but he speaks TOO LOW, and I have to squint the sides of my ears to hear him!

What if he tells us that we can mix one chemical to another, but can't mix the other to the other? If a person doesn't pay attention to what he says, they might make a fatal mistake and possibly cause a reaction that can cause an explosion, especially when using gas and bunsen burners.

Oh well, the majority of the classroom are women (thank fucking god). And thankfully I'm not going to be paired up with a tall dude who smells like poo-poo, but rather I'll be with a blonde chick ^.^

And usually the girls have a hard time speaking to me, they'll actually start regressing to acting stupid towards me because it's like they forgot another language or something. (Which means I can use them as pawns in me doing less work ) ^.^

Hopefully the girl wants to sit next to me since the first day you come to labs like that, people usually conform to who they sat with for the next day, unless one comes early and really wanted to sit next to another girl instead of me (And there's only like 15-20 people total).

If not, oh well. Not really a first-world problem issue since I'll forget the girls anyway, and they'll most likely have a boyfriend.....I hate those types of women that are so open to you, but BAM, another girls she talks to, she talks about her boyfriend.

Once I hear that, I know I have to set a conscious effort to not make it look like I'm trying to hit on her (and I usually don't do that anyway even if they are single because I always find someone better in personality etc. in this University).

I find it ironic that I complain about being friend zoned when I'm essentially the one doing it to women as well.

XD

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I had a sexual conversation with a lesbian friend who I helped find a study guide for AP Government. She would talk about how that if she was wrapped in a Straitjacket, she would let me have my way with her....O.O

Then we started to stop talking to each other once we ran out of sexual things and philosophical things to say. (It was normally about relationships, sex, and then me secretly masturbating after a few hours of talking :<

So you talked about desires and wisdom and could go on for you weren't sexually profilic to fit to each others

Just kidding.. but desires and wisdom are among the most important things to discuss. It takes a long friendship to get to other levels of just being together.. if it's not possible yet you can always conversate about literature, school, work, movies and YES:: dreams

I sometimes find it hard to really share anything with those I cannot seem to able conversate dreams or magic with.. philosophy and sports are best substitudes

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I had a sexual conversation with a lesbian friend who I helped find a study guide for AP Government. She would talk about how that if she was wrapped in a Straitjacket, she would let me have my way with her....O.O

Bondage. <3 I can... understand that. >_>

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

My rant is that I went to my Chemistry Lab, and my teacher admits that he cannot speak English properly. Okay then, not a big deal. But when he starts admitting more things, like how he has had qualms with the adviser of the Chemistry TAs for not following the rules he has to follow for lab and for the safety of others, I'm a bit concerned on the overall safety when I go to that class.

And because he's still progressing in speaking fluent in English (that's not a big deal) but he speaks TOO LOW, and I have to squint the sides of my ears to hear him!

What if he tells us that we can mix one chemical to another, but can't mix the other to the other? If a person doesn't pay attention to what he says, they might make a fatal mistake and possibly cause a reaction that can cause an explosion, especially when using gas and bunsen burners.

Well good luck, I hope you can survive your class. XD

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Bondage. <3 I can... understand that. >_>

I.. wait what?

Originally Posted by OldSparta

I.. wait what?

<_<

>_>;;

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

Lmfao. I'm usually the the one who waits for the girl to start a conversation, at least you could keep things going. Maybe you just need to know when it should end.

I wish I could carry on like that.

Wait.... what????
How did you get that I talk too much from what I wrote?
lol

You need some sleep I think.

I posted a reply to tommo but it fucking died and went to cyber heaven

basically, you're cool, just find a chick who never shuts up, like my boyfriend did when he met me

she'll do the gabbing and you can sit back with a beer