Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Crap, today is the day my group has to present our assigned drug Eldepryl.

It's one of the hardest drugs to explain because not enough research verifies it's efficiency, which means nerds with 4.0 GPA's are probably going to ask me a shitload of questions because I have to discuss the Biochemistry of Eldepryl and how it inhibits MAO-B enzymes, the two methods to take it, how Tyramine plays a factor, and other shit.

The other groups get the easy shit, and one group member only has to read ONE slide, that's not fair!

I hope this goes well....and I hope my professors won't be dissapointed in what I'm going to say about the drug. We're going to prepare early for our presentation, since class starts at 11:10 PM (9:53 PM as I typed this)

*Crosses fingers*

Sounds brutal Link. I hope you did great!

I have been so out of it most of the day. But I think I'm finally caught up on my sleep. I took a crappy massager back to Walmart and got $10. I got 2 packs of smokes then stopped at Burger King for my daily meal and they gave me Ranch again lol This time I checked before pulling away though.

The lymph node on the left side of my neck is a bit swollen. I better not get sick!!!!!!! My 17 year old son is very sick though- sinuses, sore throat, itchy ear, runny/stopped up nose, no fever.

I don't recall much about my dreams, other than my old cat Rogue was in a couple of them. In one dream, I was so happy to see him and I pet him, enjoying the feel of his fur at my finger tips. I missed a lucid opportunity when I later realized I dreamed about him and was telling someone how vivid that sense of touch was.

Oh, and guess what the girls have learned since being at the Shelter. The "pass out game". Apparently it's all the rage at the last place. After a drawn out process they basically asphixiate (sp lol) themselves.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Sounds brutal Link. I hope you did great!

Our group did awesome, our professor was nodding her head in approval of what we said, and the little goodie two shoes who sits next to the three professors that asks the most abstract questions AFTER the presentation (which was pissing most people off) was making funny faces trying to think of a question, but he couldn't. So we got away free!! WOOO HOOO

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I have been so out of it most of the day. But I think I'm finally caught up on my sleep. I took a crappy massager back to Walmart and got $10. I got 2 packs of smokes then stopped at Burger King for my daily meal and they gave me Ranch again lol This time I checked before pulling away though.

I thought my parents were the only ones who checked what's inside before they leave lol.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

The lymph node on the left side of my neck is a bit swollen. I better not get sick!!!!!!! My 17 year old son is very sick though- sinuses, sore throat, itchy ear, runny/stopped up nose, no fever.

I masturbate A LOT (increasing my immune system ) and I rarely get a cold, or anything that makes a person go "bleeeh." I think it's time to tell him to increase his immune system ;D Hope he gets better though. I hate being sick.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I don't recall much about my dreams, other than my old cat Rogue was in a couple of them. In one dream, I was so happy to see him and I pet him, enjoying the feel of his fur at my finger tips. I missed a lucid opportunity when I later realized I dreamed about him and was telling someone how vivid that sense of touch was.

I feel like petting a cat right now, oh my god....I missed petting my cousin's cat.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Oh, and guess what the girls have learned since being at the Shelter. The "pass out game". Apparently it's all the rage at the last place. After a drawn out process they basically asphixiate (sp lol) themselves.

Woah.

Well, the worst happened. We took Ana to the local animal control center. She got fairly relaxed in the car ride, but once we put her cage on one of the waiting chairs looking into the hallway of the facility, she began to looked wide eyed and shaking, sometimes violently. I don't know why, but I kept staring at her eyes while trying to comfort her, and it felt like looking at a holocaust victim or something. All of us feel really bad and were crying on the way home.

I'm debating whether I should just let it go and hope she'll adjust and maybe get adopted (HA-nothing worked out before, why the hell would it work out later?), or try to go get her back and then give our other cat to a friend who wants him instead. Mom's against it. Should I fight for it? I don't feel good bringing these two happy-go-lucky brother cats to Cali at the cruel expense of Ana. I'm afraid I'll never be able to look back without painfully remembering this day.

I would let it go. If you give it to your friend, it'll probably hate them too.

I mean the cat just can't hate you, and suddenly like some random person.

Wait, why are you talking about hating?

Yeah, my sister doesn't want that either. It's just so hard because I've been anticipating the worst for days, trying my best to have any hope and doing all I can, but the worst just happened, and everything turned out just as bad as I feared it would be... It's so defeating and ridiculous, and now even they're saying "no". More no's.

I'll do what I can to get over it, by remembering what I do have, and that it's not MY fault, I haven't failed her or betrayed her to her own version of hell. Maybe she won't be scared after a while, but I have no way of knowing.

i'm not easy to get a long with at first, i usually rub people the wrong way, but if given enough time i'll at least become tolerable enough for a silly conversation, hear and there.
thing is, i'm not the one who changes. i'm still that same guy that pissed you off to begin with.

the reason i bring this up, is because i've recently joined a religious/spiritual site and i fear that my days are numbered. i can't really make a thread over there and say this:

look you goddamn hypocrites, i'm not busting your balls just for shits and giggles, and despite your accusations against me: [...] i'm only trying to help you guys understand yourself, just a little bit more than you have been able to on your own.

i mean jesus christ, if they'd just calm down and take their heads out of their ass, they'd see what kinda person i really am. it's sad, because chances are i'll be booted long before someone comes along and really starts to read my post and then understands exactly what it is i had to offer

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Wait, why are you talking about hating?

Yeah, my sister doesn't want that either. It's just so hard because I've been anticipating the worst for days, trying my best to have any hope and doing all I can, but the worst just happened, and everything turned out just as bad as I feared it would be... It's so defeating and ridiculous, and now even they're saying "no". More no's.

I'll do what I can to get over it, by remembering what I do have, and that it's not MY fault, I haven't failed her or betrayed her to her own version of hell. Maybe she won't be scared after a while, but I have no way of knowing.

Sometimes I still remember the day I had to give my puppy up to the Animal Shelter. I still consider it one of the worst days of my life. I still regret not trying harder to hold onto him, being more stubborn.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Wait, why are you talking about hating?

Yeah, my sister doesn't want that either. It's just so hard because I've been anticipating the worst for days, trying my best to have any hope and doing all I can, but the worst just happened, and everything turned out just as bad as I feared it would be... It's so defeating and ridiculous, and now even they're saying "no". More no's.

I'll do what I can to get over it, by remembering what I do have, and that it's not MY fault, I haven't failed her or betrayed her to her own version of hell. Maybe she won't be scared after a while, but I have no way of knowing.

I'm really sorry about that, it's just when you said he was shaking, it usually ends with the pet being a bit abnormal to the owner. It's just that when I see an animal shaking, it just acts weird to me.

So sorry you had to go through that, Deery.
Most likely, the shaking was from new smells and sounds of an unfamiliar place. She also could have been picking up on the bad/sad vibes coming off of her owners.
Most cats bounce back very quickly. Once food and a pat comes around, they start relaxing. After a few days, they've usually made new friends.
If they put her down, she wont suffer.

I "want" to take my male dogs to the pound because I can't really afford to feed them what they need. I've thought about taking out an ad in the free paper, but I've heard way too many horror stories. I'm afraid they'd be beaten or otherwise mistreated. The thought of that upsets me more than the thought of their deaths. At least death at the Pound would be faster and more humane than suffering at the hands of a psycho for years.


I went back to sleep and just woke up. I'm about to eat the salad I bought earlier and hope the dressing didn't go bad (I passed out before sticking it in the fridge).

Oh yeah, glad to hear your project did so well, Link

Human nature is so unpredictable huh?

Some crazy people out there.

And thanks Zhaylin.

Although I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet. Professors have the tendency to make you think you did well (like I thought I did on my Drug Summary, which was a separate assignment), and when they actually grade, they just annihilate your self-esteem, like how I got a B- for my Disease Summary.

I honestly don't know how I didn't follow procedures for the Disease Summary, I followed every inch of the Rubric given to me. Well I just have to hope our group gets a good grade.

Other than that, I still haven't become lucid in a while. Still remember Newman from Seinfeld chasing me. Sigh....what's the use bitching about me not having lucid dreams, it's not like I'm the ONLY one suffering from this.

I hope I get to conjure up Megan Fox or some hot chick in a lucid dream someday. Sounds sad, but at least it helps me avoid the "Guys want girls for their vaginas, but those who don't go after them are pathetic and should laid" complex that's been in my mind for some time now.

Edit:

For ALL MY LIFE.

I'm getting sleepy. Might as well dish out Pamela HANDerson and Rosy PALMS to sleep faster.

Physics test tomorrow, could have studied more.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFF.

way too much to write here, so this should suffice.

the horse is a (stubborn) mule who is my fiancee. Let's just pretend.

By the way. I'm seeing multi-colored text and I feel like I'm on acid. Too much coffee and anger? I think so.

Sorry about the cat, it hurts to read that. I'd have taken her too if I lived there.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Oh, and guess what the girls have learned since being at the Shelter. The "pass out game". Apparently it's all the rage at the last place. After a drawn out process they basically asphixiate (sp lol) themselves.

I've always been able to make myself faint. I don't know if it's asphixiation or not, it's just some combination of muscle movements in my chest/head that feel 'natural' for me to do, that cause me to faint after a few seconds. I stopped doing it though because of worries of potential brain damage or something.

People have died doing that. It's supposed to be a natural high. The high is carbon dioxide deprivation.

I still have issues with my last relationship. That guy acts like an insane and angry woman and I don't know how to stop that.

Oh, this is very dishonest story! He lies on my colleagues and some familiars that I owe to him much money, which is not true, but people prefer to believe him.
The other nonsense is that he wants all the gifts he made me back. I just cannot give all these things . I gave some clothes and shoes to my neighbour because I didn't like them, broke a vase which I didn't need at all, and got rid of some trinkets for the same reason. I proposed to pay them, but he insists on receiving the exact things he gave me.
I feel so helpless about this...

If you can't give him those things back because you no longer have them, tell him to grow up and take the money or to get lost. If he's just going to be unreasonable, ignore him. If he keeps bothering you, set him on fire.

Thanks, you guys. It's been a particularly stressful evening, because we've been racing the clock to get EVERYTHING out of the house tonight, every last thing, while I was miserable/guilt ridden/depressed about the cat and was crying about every 3 minutes. I finally convinced myself to stop dwelling in it and look on the bright side, and listen to my mom saying that she's okay and probably sleeping right now. Indeed, this has been one of the worst days of my life. I'm encouraged that I got emotionally better over the past few hours, though- that gives me hope that soon, with time, the pain will lessen and I'll be able to enjoy my new life in California.

I tell you though, it's been like the emotional equivalent of horrible diahrrea and nausea that lasts for a couple hellish hours on the toilet. Well, emotional pain, no matter how horrible, seems to be more tolerable than physical pain. California, you'd better be worth all this. Ana, I hope you're doing fine, because only then will I be fine.

I really appreciate your responses, they're helping me cope.

california isn't worth it.

Not to rain on your relief, Deery, but do expect a bit of an emotional roller coaster for awhile yet. You just lost a dear friend. You'll have good days and bad days and your emotions will be especially fragile because of your up-coming move.
But it DOES get better.
My cat Rogue ran away several years ago when we moved to the Farm. I grieved for him and I still dream about him.
It's odd how close we can get to our pets

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Well the depressing part is that he's dying - why would you care that he smokes now? It won't shorten his life any further. Imagine if people made him quit now - why should he have to live out his final days in that kind of misery? And for what reason?

My mom died also of lung cancer, and she used to switch off her oxygen machine and smoke several times a day toward the end. Let him do what makes him happy. At the end it's all about making him feel as good as possible.

...Ouch. That stings. I guess, because you're right... But it hurts to see him smoke like that because I want him to be around for Winter Break, so I can actually see him again. I had a very short Thanksgiving Break and hardly got to spend time with him... and if he keeps this up I fear he won't even live until winter break. I don't want to think about not being able to see him again... so of course I'm a little bitter about the self-inflicting harm he's doing. His happiness is important, of course, but... It hurts that I can tell he no longer wants to live. Truth be told, he died when my grandmother died, back in April...

...I know you mean well, which is why I'm not upset. I know you have a valid point. I feel like I have one, too. It's just... I dunno. This is really rough for me, and I try to pretend it's not, especially around family. But I have a horrible poker face.

See, but that's a selfish wish. It's for you, not for him. What do you think he wants?

There comes a point where what it''s about is making a person as comfortable as possible while they're dying.

Also, do you really think not smoking is going to prolong his life now?? Dude - he already has cancer!!! It isn't going to get worse because he smokes! I think the reason you're upset is because you haven't yet accepted that he's really dying. Once you accept that your anxiety - well, I can't say it will go away, but it'll get somewhat easier to deal with.

Oh crap. My University sent out an alert of a Robbery suspect

"Robbery suspect may have boarded an A&M bus. Suspect armed. Be on the lookout Black male 160lb 5'10" dark ball cap, nike backpack 9:34am"

Great....just great...and I have to go sign my name in to get credit for a seminar course I took on Memory and Learning.

This is turning into a BAD Friday.

Don't worry about it - you've probably ridden the bus with murderers and worse before - the only difference is that this time you're aware of the danger.

If you see him give him a judo chop and shout "POLICE!"

.. and hope they don't pick YOU up as a suspect!