Thread: Platonic relationships...

At least they HAVE love problems...

I'm getting nothing over here.

Originally Posted by slayer

At least they HAVE love problems...

I'm getting nothing over here.

Well, that's the thing. They DON'T have love problems. No more than you do.

They think they do. They wish they do, and so they either imagine that there are, or create some.

Oooo I almost misunderstood this. Thank god I re-read it...(this time around )

But I more less agree. The only person I like, is not for anything sexual or any bullshit like that. I like her for who she is, not for what she looks like, ok, it plays a small part, but yeah.

Originally Posted by slayer

At least they HAVE love problems...

I'm getting nothing over here.

I am with you there, slay. Probably because I am still 'out-of-high-school,' so most girls that I know who are dating eligible would likely offer me a high schooly relationship, (like Noogah is talking about.) So screw it and screw that, I'll just enjoy running around doing what I feel like as a single person.

Silly you. Have some teeny angst love problems. It's easy to brush them off as minor and juvenile because, really, they are, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have some.

High-strung emotions that jump from highs to lows are something people tend to grow out of. Revel in them.

It might be sad it might be happy but it's living.

Most lonely teen's idea of a platonic relationship is something dull and indistinguishable to a regular friendship. A real platonic relationship is indeed under-rated, but that shouldn't stop the delicious angst. Go have some. Now.

Originally Posted by OldSparta

But I more less agree. The only person I like, is not for anything sexual or any bullshit like that. I like her for who she is, not for what she looks like, ok, it plays a small part, but yeah.

Haha, liar...

I like the idea of someone that actually believes in celibacy or in simple platonic relationships. I like the idea that such a person can be that way without being in denial or being lacklustre or socially inept. Such is why I hold Stephen Fry in such high regard.

But the truth is Noogah is a socially awkward teen battling his crippling American interpretation of Christianity and prefers to give his bachelor status an air of intellectual value and sophistication.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

Silly you. Have some teeny angst love problems. It's easy to brush them off as minor and juvenile because, really, they are, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have some.

High-strung emotions that jump from highs to lows are something people tend to grow out of. Revel in them.

It might be sad it might be happy but it's living.

Most lonely teen's idea of a platonic relationship is something dull and indistinguishable to a regular friendship. A real platonic relationship is indeed under-rated, but that shouldn't stop the delicious angst. Go have some. Now.

Who is this at?

Originally Posted by spockman

Who is this at?

I don't know. Teens everywhere.

Don't follow my advice, silly. It's whimsical at best.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

I don't know. Teens everywhere.

Don't follow my advice, silly. It's whimsical at best.

Haha. Naw, sadly enough I am an adult now, anyway. I got my share of bouncing around and having "it's complicated" relationships back in school. I am finished with that noise. It was fun back then, but it just seems fairly pointless now. I guess it got out some of that pent up sexual energy. Layed a foundation for romantic experience in the future. That is good, I guess.

If you don't go through the "it's complicated" phase in your teens, you'll do it in your 20s, 30s, etc. Just get it over with.

Why does it annoy you so much that other people are in romantic relationships? :l

Romantic love can be great. Platonic love can be great.

Shush now.

I'm the mother of 4 teens. I sympathize!!
But even my youngest (13) is starting to see the unnecessary drama that follows supposed romances. It irks me when Middle Schoolers say they're going steady with someone... yet they never see each other outside of school lol.

But platonic relationships ARE possible. Most of my friends, growing up, were guys. We had no romantic interest in each other at all. (But by highschool most of those guys came out of the closet... so go figure lol)

Originally Posted by Xei

Why does it annoy you so much that other people are in romantic relationships? :l

Romantic relationships don't annoy me. Obsession over romantic relationships do.

Every time you hear a song. Every time you watch a movie. It's a huge topic of conversation.

Not to mention, I feel that it's been so cheapened. Romantic relationships are things people feel they can be on and off on. People treat them as disposable things. You can (and are expected to) lose interest, and move on several times before settling in one spot. (temporarily; and then you are supposed to move along again.) I don't believe God ever intended it to be that way. One man for one woman, and then your settled for life.


I personally think teens are to early to get messed up in romantic stuff. They can't handle it.

Spoiler for What I really believe:

No one should have romantic relationships until they are old enough to get married.

Originally Posted by Noogah

No one should have romantic relationships until they are old enough to get married.

People used to get married at like 12 in biblical times.

Hm. How old is old enough to get married? It's 16 here, usually 18 in the US I gather.

Originally Posted by Xei

Hm. How old is old enough to get married? It's 16 here, usually 18 in the US I gather.

18 with parental consent, 20 without here in the UK, actually. 16 is sex.

Originally Posted by Noogah

Romantic relationships don't annoy me. Obsession over romantic relationships do.

It's an obsession for the same reason anyone gets obsessed over something new and exciting. Give or take a few overly hormoned emotions that'd be the same for most ages just discovering a love life.

Originally Posted by Noogah

Not to mention, I feel that it's been so cheapened. Romantic relationships are things people feel they can be on and off on. People treat them as disposable things. You can (and are expected to) lose interest, and move on several times before settling in one spot. (temporarily; and then you are supposed to move along again.) I don't believe God ever intended it to be that way. One man for one woman, and then your settled for life.

Finding the right person isn't easy. Enjoy marrying the first girl that you think you love and finding out you can't stand each other once the initial excitement is gone.

Originally Posted by Noogah

I personally think teens are to early to get messed up in romantic stuff. They can't handle it.

Spoiler for What I really believe:

No one should have romantic relationships until they are old enough to get married.

Taking out the learning curve would just end up with alot of unhappy marriages. I'd say alot of divorces, but I'm guessing your stance on that preemptively.

You can't expect people to commit fully to the world of love and sex with no past experiences of any kind regardless of their age. You'd have to be a child to think that two people fall in love, marry and everything is fine. Not everyone works out like that. Which is why we have flirting, dating, flings and on-off relationships. It's complicated. But getting the right result through trial and error is better (and more fun) than just assuming you'll be fine in the deep end of a world you have no actual understanding of.

I get that romance seems cheap these days. Of course it does. But you're taking an extreme and naive approach to it. It isn't all so bad. Not every girl out there is of dubious morals. No-one's asking you to be promiscuous and cold-hearted. You can have relationships without it.

Silly you.

Originally Posted by Spartiate

People used to get married at like 12 in biblical times.

Twelve year olds were probably a great deal more mature in Biblical times, considering what challenges they had to cope with at early ages.

Originally Posted by Xei

usually 18 in the US I gather.

I think so, but it probably differs from state to state.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

Enjoy marrying the first girl that you think you love and finding out you can't stand each other once the initial excitement is gone.

My whole point is people don't understand love. They think it's a feeling, as you also seem to believe. Love is no more a feeling than donating to charity is a good feeling. Not the best example, but I think you get my point. Love comes with feelings, but that doesn't mean it IS a feeling.

They can't grasp unconditional love. They can't grasp the commitment.
When they feel the butterflies, they let it blind them, and can't see past the end of their nose. That's why it's been cheapened. Many teenagers act like little kids, acting on impulse, and not using their heads. (Of course, in my personal belief, consulting God about it is the most important part, but since most people around here don't agree with me about God...)

That "initial excitmenet" wears off, and then, suddenly, they get tired of each other, and decide to divorce or break up or whatever the heck they do.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

You'd have to be a child to think that two people fall in love, marry and everything is fine.

So why do they divorce when they realize suddenly that everything is not fine? Because they never do realize that. They never do grow up, and realize that it is more than a magical feeling.

Spoiler for My controversial opinion that you're not gonna like...:

God needs to be the one who decides who you marry, no matter how you feel about the choice.

GOD WILLS IT.

I understand what you're saying Noogah.
Jehovah's Witnesses (JW's) teach that a person should not date until they are ready to marry. To bounce around from one person to another, caught up in emotions, more often than not leads to too many problems (depression, unwanted pregnancies, drama, long term incompatibility etc).
Jw's believe in having many friends, but that the friends should hang out as groups, not one on one where hormones can over-ride reason.
When a couple decides they want to pursue more, they are discreately chaperoned, no matter their age until their wedding day.

If a person builds a relationship on love, compatibility and respect, it has a better chance to weather future storms.
Now-a-days, it seems too many people are caught up in the emotionalism of it all... but emotions mature, passion becomes comfort.

But such has always been the case. Look at Dinah and so many other biblical examples.
Young people don't understand that personal experience does NOT have to be the best teacher. If one believes the Bible, there are countless bits of wisdom to be gleamed.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

If a person builds a relationship on love, compatibility and respect, it has a better chance to weather future storms.

And such a thing relies on constant adult supervision, restrictions, the sense that interest in the opposite sex is illicit, censorship and misquotes from an archaic Jewish text.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

And such a thing relies on constant adult supervision, restrictions, the sense that interest in the opposite sex is illicit, censorship and misquotes from an archaic Jewish text.

Love interest is not ilicit. Nor is responsibility and boundaries.

And, yes. I believe those boundaries are set aside by God's word, which is the Bible, if that is what you mean.

Don't exaggerate things that you disagree with just to prove a point.

There is a difference between interest in the opposite gender (which is natural, and thus God given) and exploiting it like wild animals, like teens do nowadays.

I think certain restrictions and supervision could ultimately end much potential heartache.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

18 with parental consent, 20 without here in the UK, actually. 16 is sex.

I'm in the UK too, I guarantee you it's 16 with consent, 18 without.

What does a "platonic relationship" even mean?

Also Noogah, you are 14 years old or something, you know nothing about love.

edit: I should explain myself. If you really are 14/15 years old, then you most likely haven't experience either forms of love (blinding love and "real" love), unless of course this is what fuels this thread. I guess God loves you. That is besides the point.
You can read all that you want, and you can study people around you all you want, but in the end you've never experienced either forms, and you're basically talking out of your ass. Obviously you don't like "platonic" relationships, because they're not fit for the model of getting married and living happily ever after, the model which you and your God likes very much, I would assume.

Anyhow, my point is, you haven't experienced either kinds of love (with a girl/woman olololo). If you actually had, I would bet your opinions would be very different.