Hey everyone!
So, I'm not exactly new to lucid dreaming, I used to be very deep into it about 6-7 years ago, when I was around 21 and used to keep a dream journal and would focus on what I dreamed every night. After that I started smoking weed and quit about 4 months ago, and since I've been dreaming again I've been trying to focus on my dreams more, and I've noticed a pattern in my dreams, most of them will be normal and focus around similar themes, like love, exploring places, stress with my cooking job, etc, but then there are these dreams I have every couple of weeks that are a bit different. There's a character that shows up, who I'm not sure is a man or woman, they have pale white skin and yellow eyes, and they usually enter the dream near the end, there's like a strong presence that I feel and then suddenly they're there, and it usually changes the dream. Sometimes they appear as themselves, and sometimes they take the appearance of somebody close to me, sometimes my mother, sometimes a love interest, and I usually have a fearful reaction to them. Sometimes I'll freeze and I want to scream but I can't, and sometimes I'm lifted upwards and float until I hit the ceiling and am pressed against it. This fear reaction isn't something that's always there, but its usually present, and even when I try to be friendly and approach the being openly, there's a deep feeling inside of me that I need to wake up as soon as possible to escape it. There was even one dream where I was very lucid and was controlling the dream, and then I had a feeling that this entity was watching me, and I communicated to it that I wanted to visit it and talk to it, and treated it like a friend, and then I had a false awakening where I was in a dark room that was very messy and just completely torn apart, and I freaked out and tried to wake up, before I was lifted up and pulled down further into the building before waking.
I wouldn't consider it fully malicious despite my fear of it, and the fact that it will sometimes mock me through my dreams, often making fun of me just for the fact that I have no proof it exists. I consider it a friend sometimes, and it'll give me valid life advice sometimes that's helpful in the waking world, like one time where I had a false wakeup and was in my childhood home, but all the doors were gone except for my mother's bedroom, and I could see through the door that my mother had white patches on her skin, but when I went through she was normal and when she made eye contact I froze and she told me that before I woke up, I had to know that I should watch out for people that say good things about me, but show signs of looking down on me.
And, I guess its worth mentioning that the first time I saw this entity it was when I was a teenager and had the most realistic dream I've ever had, and it came up to me and told me it owned me and that I did what it wanted and I could never escape it, because my soul belonged to it. And the last dream I had about it the normal pattern of it arriving was reversed, and instead of the dream ending with me floating to the ceiling and it entering, the dream started that way, and I was pressed to the ceiling and begged the people around me to help me down, but they were afraid and all left the room, and the being entered in the form of some woman, and it brought me down and we talked in a closet and it told me that it was happy with me for what I was doing for it in the waking world, and that it would give me something I wanted, basically a wish. After I told it what I wanted, I asked it if it would tell me what I'd been doing for it, and it said it wouldn't tell me, and then it left and I had a long, just like normal dream.
And I've been wondering if there's any information on dream entities and what they could represent in the subconscious. Like, how do I interpret this? How can I have more control over this entity, and find out why my brain basically created it to keep appearing in my dreams? I've read no literature on lucid dreaming so any could help. Any time I've mentioned this to therapists, which was a while ago, they'd basically just say something like, "Huh, that's weird." Any help would be appreciated.
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