New and very confused

Hello Disabled Wolf here,

I grew up 43 miles outside of NYC in a rich neighborhood thinking my $ɥ!† don't stink. Honestly I did!!! I learned during my later teens early 20's trying to be a bad AHole it is not what it is all it is.... am now 38 year YO women.... with a Moderate Head Injury. I have had a lot of life altering experiences and just did not care about life until maybe 5/6 years ago. I am a multiple head injury victim. These injuries are below in order: OH FYI: I Was the Only child too. "Only Child Syndrome" with a rich daddy and a little girl.:?

From a child to Adult hood.This does not include fights: From bicycle I was 6 YO with a Bilateral skull fractures, sports in my teen lost track of all the concussions and short term black outs, Flipping my first car as a teen totaling a 1970 Cadillac Coupe De Ville Rag Top parietal skull fracture age was 16, ATV major concussion age 19 , I WAS NOT DRIVING Motorcycles accident major concussion with time being blacked out age 20 , NOTE I WAS NOT DRIVING THIS TIME Flipping my 4X4 in the Desert going way to fast around a turn and the truck tipped and rolled down a cliff major concussion with time being blacked out 29YO, than an illegal Drunken Mexican with no insurance no registration only a Mexican license slams into me doing 85 in a 45 I suffered a skull base fracture with frontal lobe contusion with hemorrhaging age was 30. It was Sept Sat, Night 2:47AM 13, 2003. I was the designated driver that night which normally I am cause I have a long drive home. We all went to the local karaoke bar and had fun. On the way home I was hit. I have many medical conditions I am now permentally disabled. I use to work with Animals Canidae where my favorite and still are.

I was looking for a place like this to figure out what some of these dreams are all about plus to vent about them. They freak me out!!! Because my dreams are coming true in real life one by one… it is as I am predicting fatalities, agony, sin, and so on.

I do not understand a thing about lucid dreams about DREAMING period. Before my fifth head injury, I never dreamed or if I did, I never really remembered them. I had other problems but it had nothing to do with dreaming. I also never had seizures or migraines either.

I was trying to find a place to vent about all the things that have happened in my life. However, my Dreams happened either a day or two before. Alternatively, like my husband’s dream I woke up to it. Oh my Freaking gosh that one almost put me in the hospital. I called his phone to have his LAWYER answer his cell phone and tell me he was in custody. NO No no no no no….

Every since I had my Head Injury these Dreams are so intense that I cannot get away from them. Some are stupid type Dreams. Bird flew past me…to wolves are kissing like humans… To wolves are banging… honestly stupid stuff… and the significance of those dreams are senseless to me… when dreams are coming true that is when they freak me out and now people are dying and are having heart attacks and I am now dreaming my own dreams then dying and being revived through a defibrillator… oh h3!! No What the heck…. There is something wrong…

Then sometimes I have dreams that feel so freakishly real. I am awaking to a these dreams that a man I never seen before is having sex with me and I am being sexual stimulated. YES I AM A SLEEP and I feel like I am actually having forced Sex because I am fighting this man FYI: it’s always the same man, and I but I can never get him off of me, and when I am awaken is when I am having one. What the ever living????? OH yeah and when I awake my hand and body is in the same potion as I dreamed pinned down my hands are above my head and legs are spread.This happens maybe once a week to once ever other week and my husband is NEVER home. YUCK! Is this a GHOST ENTITY WHAT?

Do I need to cleanse my soul?

I have a rosary bead tattooed on my chest that was blessed. I have crossed and statues all over my room of St. Micheal, Jesus and St. Nicholas for protection my husband is always laughing at me about my silly God beliefs.

Yes I was Raised Catholic I am now Episcopalian. Catholic Lite. My Husband thinks we are all worm food. He believes God is a something the men made up one day way back BC in the day when they came across some hallucinatory plant and they liked it so they keep going back to it and these men where gay of course because they wrote in journals so they keep writing in their journals and seen these visions and thinking it was this God and telling them to do these things and here we have what is Called the Bible today… That is my husband’s theory of how the bible became “THE BIBLE”. LOL I thought that was humorous.
ANYWAYS… Why can’t I dream about happy things people getting married, babies and animals coming into the world, some new car being made to help the environment.