Lucid dream, the most horrible experience in my life. HELP!
First, I’d like to say that I’m new here so please don’t hate me if I write something stupid or in the wrong place. Also, English is not my native language so don’t hate me if I spell something wrong. I would be very grateful if someone could read this and tell me what I did wrong, because I’m kind of freaked out right now.
Think I dreamed a lucid dream tonight. It was cool but extremely scary. Mostly scary.
Background: I started to read about lucid dreams about three weeks ago. I’ve kept a dream journal but only remembered two dreams. This was my first lucid dream.
My dream:
I’m walking on a street in the neighborhood where I grew up. Suddenly, I notice that the trees look different than usual. It's hard to describe but I get a sense of unreality. I do a reality check, and put my finger against the palm of my hand and notice that it slides through without meeting any resistance. It makes me aware of that I’m dreaming and I feel excited about it.
I decide to try flying. It's not like I jump up in the air and start flapping my arms, I simply lean forward as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff and the ground disappears underneath me and I sail through the air. I am no longer in my childhood neighborhood, now I’m flying over a mountain landscape I have never seen before. At first, I experience a exciting feeling of total freedom. Then the scary part began.
I become aware of gravity, and it tears my body down and I feel very heavy. Kind of like when you’re riding a roller coaster and it turns quickly, and you really feel it in your stomach, though the power is down. I’m not starting to fall, but the gravity is now so strong that it becomes a physical pain. It's like someone has hung heavy weights on my body and the pain increases more and more. It feels like gravity is going to tare my body apart and it hurts like hell. I become aware of how high up I am and experience terrible vertigo, even though I’m usually not at all afraid of heights.
I now think that I want to wake up and repeat it in my head but nothing happen. I'm starting to panic and I feel trapped. The feeling of freedom I experienced before is now completely gone and all I feel is trapped and claustrophobic, which is strange because I’m still flying freely over the landscape. Somehow, I realize that I’m going to die. It sounds stupid now that I’m awake, but I guess I wasn’t thinking logical at the time. However, I experience a lot of agony.
I start to think that if I just come down to the ground again, I will wake up. I tip over and start diving towards the ground and I fall head over heels, head first. I clearly feel the wind against my face and I realize that I will be crushed when I hit the ground. Now I have completely and full panic. I can no longer control my body and the ground comes closer and closer. Eventually, with a tremendous effort of strength, I manage to straighten up. I sail once again through the air, but now so low that I almost touch the tree tops and I can’t fly any higher. I'm quite sure I will soon crash into a super-high tree. I am so afraid that I do not dare to move at all and I remember thinking that I was going to be stuck there forever and that I’d never wake up again. Then the world begins to blur more and more and suddenly I’m lying in my bed again, completely soaked in sweat. It took me ten minutes to calm down.
What the hell?! Aren’t Lucid Dreams supposed to be pleasant experiences? Everything I've read have said that you can’t fell pain in dreams. Why did I do that? And why couldn’t I wake up? Is not the thing about lucid dreaming that one can control them? Was it even a lucid dream?
It was among the most horrible things I have experienced when I thought I was stuck there forever. Now I’m afraid to go to sleep, because I might have another lucid dream and never wake up again.