Thread: Lucid dream, the most horrible experience in my life. HELP!

Well personally I wouldn't go so far as to say you need to see a shrink, but I will agree that it's your irrational fears that are making it impossible for you to enjoy the lucid state.

And I'm afraid that unless you can gt those fears under control any lucid dreams you have will become nightmares - your dreams reflect your inner state, and if that state is fear then you;ll have nightmares. A lot of people use lucid dreaming as a sort of therapy - because in dreams you can face your fears with no real danger - you know if you fall off a cliff or get eaten by a bear nothing is REALLY going to happen to you, and you'll wake up and everything will be fine, and then because you were able to face those fears in a dream you begin to get over them in waking life as well.

But since your fear seems to be about sleeping and dreaming, that makes things tricky in your case. And unfortunately it seems becoming lucid only makes it worse for you. We can't stress enough that it's all about your attitude - you need to go in with no fear or at least prepared to face your fears. If you bring a phobia in with you that you're not prepared to face squarely then you'll probably keep having the same kind of experiences you did.

If on the other hand you're ready to face it, or maybe soon you can work up the courage to face it, then you should be able to make some headway and beat it eventually.

Does it really not help at all to realize that you sleep every night ,and dream several times every night, and so far nothing bad has happened? Nobody has crept into your room to kill you - your house hasn't burned down etc.

And on top of that - nothing bad happened when you had your lucid dream. You were afraid - that was all. But you woke up to find that there was nothing to be afraid of. It was only a dream.

i have had some scary expieriences in LD, i find it easier to absorbe and correct. for example:-
if i started falling from the sky at a very fast pace i would not think of that as a "bad" thing. i would accept the fact im falling and think how can i change this, i would start thinking of things that fall e.g a plane crashing, then i would think how would the falling normally stop, pulling up! i would then think "ok im in a plane" and put my arms out in front as if to grab the stick and pull up, the thought of what you are doing there and then should alter what is actually happening in the dream!

i was thrown off a VERY large cliff into water in a dream and my first feeling was fear, then i realised the person that done it would not do it if he didnt know what he was doing, so i fell for a while screaming then as i hut the water i woke up and the first thing i thought was "i wanna do it again"

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

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Couldn’t I just learn to “block out” the lucid dreams? (Is that even possible?) I’ve done some research and found out that a certain amount of alcohol every night reduces lucid dreams . But that doesn’t seem like a particularly good solution for reasons I’m sure you can understand.
Now that I haven’t had any dreams that I remember for a couple of days I’m not as afraid as I was before. And I like it to stay this way. If I don’t have any more LDs I’ll probably be able to repress this experience after a while and go back to normal or something.

Well… yes and no. I does help to think about that no one have slaughtered me in my sleep yet. But the fact that it can happen, even though it’s not likely is still not very pleasant. I mean, yes – it is just as likely to happen while I’m awake, but at least then I will be able to defend myself. If my house catch on fire when I’m awake I simply walk out and dile 112. If I’m asleep I’ll burn to death or at least be deap-fried.
Honestly, I don’t understand how you can not find this terrifying or at least a bit scary.

Besides, if someone is afraid of for example bridges, people will tell him that the fear is completely irrational just because a bridge hasn’t collapsed under him yet. But bridges do collapse, and people are burnt to death while sleeping. Unlikely- but it does happen. I’m not trying to be impossible here, I’m just trying to explain why I’m afraid to prevent more people from assuming I’m insane.

Lol ok, I understand!!

For me and for most people keeping the doors locked and having a smoke detector is enough, but I know irrational fears aren't so easy to lay to rest. If you WOULD talk to a therapist about it I doubt they would even recommend drugs or consider you at all crazy - they'd just talk to you.

But if you just want to not have lucid dreams then that's one way to solve the problem!

Normally people don't have lucid dreams unless they try to - most of us have to try for a long time before we can make it happen (no - I'm not jealous - really! well ok maybe a little). I don't remember if you tried to have a lucid dream or if it just happened spontaneously - but in any event you did say you were talking to someone about Inception recently, and sometimes that's all it takes to cause someone;s first lucid is to hear about it or talk about it.

I'd say the best thing you can do to prevent lucid dreams now is to just not try to have any.

Just sleep like normal. Don't think about your dreams much - one of the key steps to becoming lucid is to increase your dream recall, which we do by keeping a dream journal - which helps us to remember dreams and keeps them forefront in the mind. So if you stop thinking about dreams that should hep too. (Lol though that's kind of like telling somebody "Quick! Don't think about elephants!".. )

Lol this whole situation is so ironical I can't help myself from laughing. I'm having a huge Catch-22 moment right now..

I haven’t tried do have LDs (how can you even “try” to dream, that doesn’t make any sense) but I’ve read about it and kept a dreamjurnal. I'll definatly stop that right away. It’s not like I’m some kind of superdreamer, I’ve just had one LD haha.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

If you WOULD talk to a therapist about it I doubt they would even recommend drugs or consider you at all crazy - they'd just talk to you.

Oh great… now you think I need a shrink too… *repeating “I am not crazy, I am not crazy” loud to myself.*

Originally Posted by Insikt

Couldn’t I just learn to “block out” the lucid dreams? (Is that even possible?) I’ve done some research and found out that a certain amount of alcohol every night reduces lucid dreams . But that doesn’t seem like a particularly good solution for reasons I’m sure you can understand.
Now that I haven’t had any dreams that I remember for a couple of days I’m not as afraid as I was before. And I like it to stay this way. If I don’t have any more LDs I’ll probably be able to repress this experience after a while and go back to normal or something.

Well… yes and no. I does help to think about that no one have slaughtered me in my sleep yet. But the fact that it can happen, even though it’s not likely is still not very pleasant. I mean, yes – it is just as likely to happen while I’m awake, but at least then I will be able to defend myself. If my house catch on fire when I’m awake I simply walk out and dile 112. If I’m asleep I’ll burn to death or at least be deap-fried.
Honestly, I don’t understand how you can not find this terrifying or at least a bit scary.

Besides, if someone is afraid of for example bridges, people will tell him that the fear is completely irrational just because a bridge hasn’t collapsed under him yet. But bridges do collapse, and people are burnt to death while sleeping. Unlikely- but it does happen. I’m not trying to be impossible here, I’m just trying to explain why I’m afraid to prevent more people from assuming I’m insane.

We're all going to die eventually... but if you're living a life in fear, then what's the point of living?

You can't avoid dreams and go through life afraid of sleep. Get over it and conquer your fears. They're called nightmares, they happen. You have to accept this in order to alleviate your fears.

Originally Posted by cessna

We're all going to die eventually... but if you're living a life in fear, then what's the point of living?

You can't avoid dreams and go through life afraid of sleep. Get over it and conquer your fears. They're called nightmares, they happen. You have to accept this in order to alleviate your fears.

Well, it's not like I want to be afraid. I'm just finding it hard to stop.

Originally Posted by Insikt

Well, it's not like I want to be afraid. I'm just finding it hard to stop.

well of course. if it wasn't hard then there would be no fear. but especially in the case of something that you must do every day, you can't avoid it. hard or not you have to find a way to face your fears and get rid of them.

i read and responded to this topic just before going to sleep last night. made me think of some of the nightmares i've had. going to sleep, i knew i was going to have one because that was the last thing on my mind. but instead of being afraid i was thinking of past nightmares and how i could conquer them. not coincidentally, i had a 'nightmare' last night. it wasn't lucid, but i was aware that it was a nightmare. but i wasn't afraid, and i went searching for the cause of the nightmare (forget what it was). instead of being a bad dream, it was a cool one.

so many long posts, didnt read all of them to the end

Originally Posted by zoth00

When a lucid dreamer can't fly in a dream, or summon an animal, it's exactly like you: they haven't fully "understood" it's a dream, so they aren't confident that they can do anything.)

This, and this a thousand times. That does not mean it is easy, i mean, you might know it is a dream but it might seem too real for you so that you wont let yourself do what you want. I.e. in dreams i am so totally confident that there is no way i can be hurt, that i think that is the reason i am never hurt, though if i try to fly, it still requires some effort, because for me that seems unreal even inside the dream, it is weird to explain, but at the end it is all about you and what you believe, sincerely believe, not just "knowing" it, because sometimes ppl know things but still dont trust their knowledge =P

Irik, have you tried the meditation I've mentioned? Also I want to say that I think you're really brave, and I don't think its silly. We all have something we are afraid of. The fear comes from the unknown, lucid dreaming and all this is new to you and it is a big unknown to you. It is just programmed into us as humens. I will admit that I was a bit frightened myself becoming lucid. That is why I still fail at it to this day.

Well, what I am I afraid of you ask? Maybe not so much the lucid dream itself as it is the WILD technique. The other techniques don't really work for me and I think the only real way is a WILD. I heard stories while attempting WILD you see some very freaky stuff and even feel it. Even though I know its all in my head its still freaky, I don't want to see all that stuff.

It is much like watching a horror movie, or playing a scary video game *Amnesia: the dark decent comes to mind. Still can't play it.* Even though we know inside its not real, it is very freaky to us. You seem like a very smart and brave girl.

I don't share this with a lot of people, but when I get scared in a dream I have a special power suit I put on and it gives me super powers. When I put it on I feel invincible and almost god like. I use that as a protection, and I know anything ugely that comes my way gets a face pounding to the other side of the universe while going through a bunch of planets.

So tell me if you used that meditation technique .

You need to learn to take control...stop seeing yourself as this victim. Anything "could" happen, what is the point of constantly worrying about all the bad things that could happen in life? Sure, the plane you're flying on could crash, and if you walk outside in a storm you could get struck by lightning...but what are the chances? And how is being afraid of such things helpful at all? Arm yourself with knowledge, not fear. This is anxiety 101, stop trying to deny that you apparently have anxiety issues and instead learn to confront them. The first step in overcoming a problem is acknowledging that you have a problem, otherwise you'll remain in denial and overcome nothing.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread already. Though I want to add that REM isn't the only stage of sleep where dreaming occurs, and that dreams do not necessarily have this absolute physical time limit on them that coincides with the end of REM. A skilled lucid dreamer can learn to extend the dream beyond REM.

Originally Posted by pepsibluefan

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Hello again! Yes, I did in fact try it. At first, it was impossible to relax. It took me ages to find a comfortable position, and when I finally did there was always something itching. I also found it very hard to shut out the noises around me so I ended up using earplugs even though you said it wasn’t necessary. But when I finally sat still and after a while, didn’t think about anything at all. This didn’t last long but it was still very interesting in a way.
Then my heart started beating really loud. I don’t know if it actually was beating louder than usual, it’s possible that I could just hear it better since all other noises were shut out by those earplugs. However, I started thinking about it and then I started thinking about how I should not think about it. I wasn’t afraid, but my mind was spinning again and I decided to stop.

I liked meditating, but I’m still not quite sure what it’s good for?

Yes, that is exactly what I’ve been trying to say! You know that your fear is irrational in a way, but that doesn’t make you less afraid of whatever you’re afraid of. Hmm… that is actually really smart. I guess it helps you remember that you are in control, right? Thanks a lot for the help!

Originally Posted by nina

You need to learn to take control...stop seeing yourself as this victim.

I do not think that is my problem actually. I’m sure I could improve that too, but my biggest issue right now is that I’m afraid of not having control. To not be able to defend myself. I wrote about this earlier, but in short words I don’t like the fact that I have to leave my body unprotected for eight hours I day. To not be able to control its fate during that time, because in “trapped” in my dreams

Anything "could" happen, what is the point of constantly worrying about all the bad things that could happen in life? Sure, the plane you're flying on could crash, and if you walk outside in a storm you could get struck by lightning...but what are the chances? And how is being afraid of such things helpful at all? Arm yourself with knowledge, not fear. This is anxiety 101, stop trying to deny that you apparently have anxiety issues and instead learn to confront them. The first step in overcoming a problem is acknowledging that you have a problem, otherwise you'll remain in denial and overcome nothing.

Yes, you are right. I guess I do have anxiety issues, but I like to point out that I’m rarely afraid of things usually and I don’t have any phobias. I don’t see myself as a victim.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread already. Though I want to add that REM isn't the only stage of sleep where dreaming occurs, and that dreams do not necessarily have this absolute physical time limit on them that coincides with the end of REM. A skilled lucid dreamer can learn to extend the dream beyond REM.

It really is. I’m quite amazed of how much you all know about this science that I been totally unaware of until recently.

Do you live alone, Insikt? If so, perhaps you could get a good guard dog. I have a German shepherd/lab mix, and I never worry about someone attacking me while I'm asleep. A good watchdog could also wake you up if cases of emergency such as a house fire. Then when you become lucid, you can think about your physical body and know that it is safely guarded so that you can enjoy the dreamworld with peace of mind.

It's a simple idea if you are a dog person like me.

Insikt, that is really great to hear. Keep practicing that meditation and it will get more easier and with enough practice you can go into deeper meditation. Then further along the line with even more practice you can even have lucid dreams while meditating if you wanted.

What does this help me with? It should help you to become more calm and easier to deal with the problem you're certainly experiencing. If you don't take Yoga, you should try as both meditation and Yoga help on this issue. Just meditation can work for now if you don't want to get into basic yoga. Meditation helps you learn more about yourself, and you can learn control from this. I hope this works out for you. ^_^

Want a feeling of better security while sleeping? Lock your door and window, get a fire alarm, and leave a baseball bat next to your bed. I think you'll be safe. Unless terrorists attack from the air...

Originally Posted by cedward1

Do you live alone, Insikt? If so, perhaps you could get a good guard dog.
…

I live with four people at the moment, and I don’t think that the others will approve. But thanks anyway, if I ever have to live alone I might do that.

Originally Posted by pepsibluefan

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Then further along the line with even more practice you can even have lucid dreams while meditating if you wanted.

I will defiantly do that, even if it doesn’t help it’s nice to take time to relax once in a while.

Question: Can I wake up if I want to if that happens?

Originally Posted by cessna

Want a feeling of better security while sleeping? Lock your door and window, get a fire alarm, and leave a baseball bat next to your bed. I think you'll be safe. Unless terrorists attack from the air...

I get that you think I'm paraniod and all, but please don’t make fun of me. I’m not writing here because I think it’s funny.

Can I wake up if I wanted to if that happens? I will be honest, I really don't know since its different for each person. But you know most people on here have a hard time keeping in a dream once they become lucid and will start to wake up. That is why we have tutorials of how to stabilize a dream when you become lucid. Although I am starting to believe myself that you make the laws of physics in that universe.

My question: Have you had any more lucid dreams since your last experience?

Originally Posted by pepsibluefan

Can I wake up if I wanted to if that happens? I will be honest, I really don't know since its different for each person. But you know most people on here have a hard time keeping in a dream once they become lucid and will start to wake up. That is why we have tutorials of how to stabilize a dream when you become lucid. Although I am starting to believe myself that you make the laws of physics in that universe.

My question: Have you had any more lucid dreams since your last experience?

How does that help? Keep your metaphysics (I have nothing against metaphysics on it's on merits but it's not appropriate here) out of the thread, we're trying to reassure her, don't start saying we create dream 'universe' physics.

@Inskit; you have the ability to awaken from any dream you become lucid in, you will always be empowered in a dream that you are aware is a dream.

But does it take a lot of practice happen? I mean, it's not likely that it will happen to me since I recently tried meditating for the first time, right?

No, I haven't had any lucids. I haven't had any dreams at all that I can remember. I'm starting to calm down about this whole thing. After having my dream I was really scared and kind of expected every night from that day to be like that, and that made me think about the whole leaving my body unprotected thing too and that freaked me out as well. But now that I've slept several times without anything happening I'm thinking that maybe I don't have to worry about that anymore. Most people don't even have lucids so why should it happen to me again?

I'm still not comfortable with leaving my body and all but I guess I'm just going to have to learn to live with it.

@Ctharlhie It is just to help her gain confidence if she does lucid dream again. I think its totally appropriate considering how she expressed the feeling of lack of control. I am going to keep this out of the discussion though. I also like to note I got it from reading BillyBobs tutorials.

@Isikt It is highly unlikely that it will happen to you the first time, it is nothing to worry about. You're right, most people rarely have lucid dreams. (The people who don't try to go lucid) I am sure you have nothing to worry about, I hope you consider staying around dream views though. ^_^ We are here for support.

Originally Posted by Insikt

I get that you think I'm paraniod and all, but please don’t make fun of me. I’m not writing here because I think it’s funny.

I'm sorry, but that comment was not to make fun, but rather point out the irrationality of your fears (as most phobias are irrational). If your door is locked and you have a smoke detector, please explain to me what can possibly happen to you that couldn't have happened while you were awake?

Originally Posted by pepsibluefan

@Ctharlhie It is just to help her gain confidence if she does lucid dream again. I think its totally appropriate considering how she expressed the feeling of lack of control. I am going to keep this out of the discussion though. I also like to note I got it from reading BillyBobs tutorials.

Sorry I misunderstood, I thought you were bringing some mystical ideas to the discussion but if you're referring to stuff like expectation effect then cool.

Hey Insikt, if you are religious praying kind of works to sleep calmly, i am just saying xP i guess it is like some sort of meditation, well, imo it is silly but i just want to help, and that is how i slept calmly when i was a kid and i had nightmares, lol. Btw, im not religious now
btw, how have your nights went since the horrid experience?

Originally Posted by cessna

I'm sorry, but that comment was not to make fun, but rather point out the irrationality of your fears (as most phobias are irrational). If your door is locked and you have a smoke detector, please explain to me what can possibly happen to you that couldn't have happened while you were awake?

Dude, as long as i know pointing out the irrationality of a phobia, never helps, even if the person is rational and everything, i guess it is like with the videogames, they still scare the shit out of you even if they are, duh videogames that you play in your pc xD

Originally Posted by pepsibluefan

*Amnesia: the dark decent comes to mind. Still can't play it.* Even though we know inside its not real, it is very freaky to us.

I so love that game, i cant play more than 5 mins atm though, i freak way to much, i have to stop xD whoever finishes that game is fking awesome. I dont know why irrational fears still work, and so damn much XD

Originally Posted by Howlgram

Dude, as long as i know pointing out the irrationality of a phobia, never helps, even if the person is rational and everything, i guess it is like with the videogames, they still scare the shit out of you even if they are, duh videogames that you play in your pc xD

Dude, on the contrary, I believe the realization of an irrationality is the start to overcoming it. Many people will 'admit' they have an irrational phobia, but deep down they still have reasons for believing it is truly rational (which I believe is what is going on here). The OP keeps asking for ways around her fear rather than just facing it and extinguishing the fear. I'm sorry, but in a situation like this, finding ways around the fear is a terrible idea. This is something you have to do every day. You're going to have to confront your fear and once you get rid of it, you'll be happy you did.

She is abandoning lucids for now because she is scared of them, even though initially she had hoped to achieve them. This isn't necessarily a bad thing... stay away at first until you can overcome your fears. But don't abandon your goal just because you ran into a hiccup.