Alright, so here's something new of mine to contribute.... My LSD trip from last night, from which I have just finally gotten a few hours of rest.

I think it was maybe around 9:30 PM that I dosed, but I really couldn't tell you for sure as I didn't keep a log. I actually felt a little sickly physically but psychologically their were no stressors. I probably would have waited for a better time to trip under normal circumstances, but I'm only going to have a few more chances to get good ones in for a while here so I didn't want to pass up the opportunity.... Besides, I've taken LSD while feeling a little under the weather before and it actually usually works pretty effectively to not notice those symptoms for the duration of the experience and a while afterward.

My relationship with LSD includes many mind-blowing experiences at a wide range of doses ranging from less than 100 mcg to over 1 mg. I personally don't believe that there's any active amount of LSD which can't produce a beautiful experience given the right setting. That being said, it has always been the really high doses that I have favored above all others. A high dose of LSD for me tends to be essentially like lucid dreaming while awake and having more control than I can possibly imagine, and at least as much energy. Even on lower doses I often spend much of the trip pacing around and mumbling to myself as I watch the world around me transform to my will. This ability that LSD has to be such a potent and malleable tool for observing the mind while having so much control and yet being so mentally discombobulating at the same time is what has so far landed it as my most treasured psychedelic ally.

I have actually explored this current batch of LSD more than any other I've had, including multiple trips of of ten or more doses. More so than most other psychedelics seem to for me, LSD definitely appears to have some sort of reverse tolerance; the hallucinations and emotional states that I observe from it seem to become more deeply complex and intricate with each experience almost regardless of dose, with that really only deciding their intensity. My initial trips on this batch followed the scheme of my old high dose trips of basically constantly transforming my environment into female entities who would then dance around the room in erotic ways in that fashion that's just like enhancing my daydreaming to reality breakthrough levels. However, during my last very high dose I felt like I reached a new level of trip, where the loss of ego produced became significant enough that I started feeling as though I was living through a seemingly infinite number of different scenarios in my mind without end, and there were these transient phases where I would momentarily slip into just enough confusion to be in a state where I lose sight of the fact that I'm tripping and fully believe whatever I was experiencing. At that time it really just made me forget that those entities weren't actually there, but I was very intrigued at what more could come out of that state in future trips as well.

My most recent experience with this LSD was one of the only times that I've ever taken it that I would call a truly difficult experience, but just because it hit such a level of intensity that it really took me by surprise. I was being so overwhelmed with sensory information that I felt like I was frying my brain forever, but I just kept reminding myself that I was just tripping incredibly hard. A lot of that trip is actually patchy in my memory because I even experienced something like blackouts from time to time, which I've only ever gotten before the first time I tried this LSD. However, something that I was able to take away from that experience which was incredibly intriguing was that I recall that my imagination appeared to have externalized as some kind of background-layer virtual reality generator. There would be a couple of times when I would just start thinking about some random scenario and my imagination would visually in front of me start rearranging itself to create the feeling that that scenario was actually happening to me, which was incredible, but I was a little too out of it to make much use of it at the time, though I definitely logged it for future reference. Another thing I picked up from this trip is a new type of visual, which usually stick around in the future after I first see them on LSD, and which was sort of like my vision was becoming fractured into pieces that had flashes of electricity floating all throughout the cracks. In retrospect, I think this is the visual effect that I start to experience on LSD now when I start to become so out of it that it's almost like being on a deliriant, even including the way it feels very dark and shadowy even while interacting with the vibrant and colorful psychedelic state.

So anyway, before I dosed last night I had started to become concerned that maybe some of the batch that I had left might have been losing some potency during all of this summer heat. I had recently shared a few hits with a friend who had never tripped before and she was a bit underwhelmed, but I wasn't sure if it was just because she was new to it or maybe expecting something a bit different, or if the hits had maybe actually started to become a bit weaker. It had been a good few trips since that last LSD experience of my own and I had been itching to use it again instead of just some tryptamines like I have been lately. For my initial dose, I decided to cut out a strip that should have been equal to maybe four hits or so, just to check the potency. I waited for slightly over an hour after taking it during which time I took a shower and then did a few small balloons of nitrous oxide in an attempt to bring the experience out, but it didn't seem to do much. Actually, for the amount I took, at an hour in I was definitely starting to think my batch was indeed starting to degrade. Feeling a little down about it since I only have so much left to begin with, I decided that I was at least not going to let this trip go to waste. Perhaps acting somewhat impatiently, I went back and took the rest of the strip that I had cut from, which I would say came out to somewhere around another four hits.

Shortly after my second dose, I decided to smoke some cannabis to see if I could bring the first dose out some more. As soon as I did, I thought that maybe I should have waited a little bit longer before deciding to down the rest of that dose! Patterns started kicking in rather strongly almost immediately, creating the imagery I've come to associate with LSD confusion where all of the surfaces in the room begin to break up and slide around in a way that feels like becoming psychologically dizzy, thankfully without the physical vertigo. By half an hour into the first dose and after taking the second, time was starting to become pretty heavily dilated. The way this begins for me is always pretty noticeable; I'll always check the time to find that the last interval of fifteen minutes or so seemed to take easily three or four times as long to transpire than the previous several. When that started happening I knew that I was going to be in for a heavier trip than I had originally anticipated that night, so I decided to prepare myself for it properly. I ended up loading as many chargers of nitrous oxide as my balloon would hold, and then smoked a little bit more cannabis right before I was ready to use it. Then, at just about the time the second dose should have been fully kicking in, I started inhaling it.

While everything in this trip was experienced as a constant stream of consciousness, I'm afraid that it is almost impossible for me to give an accurate chronological order for the events that I can recall after this point. With this in mind, and simply the ridiculous amount of things that actually happened to me during this trip, rather than attempting to piece together an exact image of how this night played out I think I'm going to instead just focus on trying to explain the psychological and hallucinogenic effects of the experience.

The first noticeable thing about this trip was the sheer amount of control that I had over the world around me at all times. In the past when I've had the thing where I pace around the house mumbling to myself, it's basically been like the things I was saying were actually different lines from various alternate lives that I was living out from one moment to the next, and I would be making hand and body gestures in the like to go along with those lives as well. Before this has always been perceived mostly mentally, where I was quite aware of vivid perceptions of these other lives, but it all felt very much internalized, like just having an extremely enhanced imagination. This time, as I walked around, I was actually constantly creating the world in front of me. As I moved from one scenario, the environment around me would effortlessly complete transform from one dream reality to the next. These realities were highly realistically detailed but were also extremely colorful and full of abstract patterns interwoven with symbolic imagery, and the entities in them tended to be wearing incredibly intricate and beautiful outfits which were totally unlike any normal clothing but still followed some of the same fashion rules at least. In this state, I was able to live any life, see any setting, and be any person that I wanted to live, see, or be. As usual these hallucinations were all highly sexual for me as well, so I was constantly transforming through complete life-like realizations of even the most abstract of my erotic desires; even the craziest kinky psychedelic outfits or different body structures I wanted to experiment with or literally anything that passed through my mind, there it all formed so effortlessly.

There was another aspect to this level of control as well which worked a little differently than what I described so far. Everything that I just said was literally just like my imagination emerging around me at all times, it was totally passive and would have happened even if I had just sat there and watched everything changing around me. In addition to this though, I was also actively messing with many different parts of my psychedelic visuals. Because of the way that my LSD visuals have continued to get stronger over time, the patterns I was seeing where basically full of so much imagery both realistic and completely bizarre ranging from incomprehensible hieroglyphics to completely human entities exploding all around me, and I was having as much fun with them as I possibly could. Frequently I would make body motions such as reaching out toward one side of the visuals and then trusting my hands in a different direction, or I would simply extend my arm out as if to fire some kind of energy blast, or just things like that, and the visuals would always respond immediately. I could shoot any number of perceptions I wanted into any direction with the most intense and rushing feeling, or I could build structures up out of nothing and then destroy them just as quickly. In fact, this kind of posing is a very common way that I attempt to manipulate a dream world as well and it usually works just as easily, and there was a point where I actually used literally the exact same dream control to summon a visual pattern as I did to summon a colossal lava demon in a recent lucid dream that I had, so much so that the fact that this was the same part of my mind which leads to dream control in lucids in the first place was undeniable. This was possibly one of the funnest parts of the trip to just play around with, as I was creating all of these over the top visual effects in the background just on a whim for basically the entire experience as I just got lost in everything else.

There was one part of the trip that was definitely influenced by the nitrous oxide that I was using, but it certainly wouldn't have been possible without the LSD building on top of it. Nitrous oxide is another hallucinogen which for me seems to have reverse tolerance; it feels like every time I do it in high doses I get transported back to this same realm comprised of very simple geometry where I am completely delirious and see all of these dots moving around in incredibly well choreographed and symmetrical patterns which is interpreted by me invariably as my mind quickly running through the catalogue of every cognitive, emotional, or behavioral response that I can have to any situation that it possibly can in the amount of time before the trip ends. Because this actually grows further and further each time, it actually makes it feel like the trip lasts longer even when the same dose is used and it fades away just as quickly. One thing I've noticed too is that at the beginning the emotional responses it gave me were experienced directly as if I had no idea that they weren't actually happening, but they were all pretty basic responses. However, as the trips deepened, I still felt the full emotion of them as they were happening, but they began to enter the realm of complete, undeniable impossibilities. Exact details of these are normally almost impossible to recall just because they are truly either paradoxes or just flat-out illogical in every way, and yet my mind is still able to create a state in which I am completely convinced of their reality. The experience is something that is beyond the ability to convey through words to say the least, it's really something you just have to feel for yourself.

So, when I did this nitrous oxide during this LSD trip, it took things to a whole new level. It was basically what I described there only again even deeper, and it mixed with the way that the LSD allowed every thought and feeling that I experienced to be intensified to the maximum possible expression. It was so intense in fact that the dots I normally get from the nitrous oxide actually started flying around wildly in my vision and didn't go away even after the balloon should have normally worn off; this visual was interpreted as my emotions being so out of whack that every scale by which my mind works to create my full perception of reality was just bouncing back and forth out of control and creating the ability for me to experience any number of extreme and even conflicting states of mind simultaneously. Within this there was a point where the delirium of both the LSD and the nitrous oxide combined to take the feeling of absolute perfection that I get from the LSD and translate it into the same completely irrational beliefs that I'm used to, and out of that came some of the most profound states I have ever experienced in my life. There was a moment where I experienced the complete, unwavering certainty that I had come to understanding everything that could possibly be understood about reality, achieved omniscience in a sense, and that everything in the universe just made absolutely perfect sense with no more remaining confusion or mysteries whatsoever, and I felt the emotion of this realization just as strongly as one would if that were to ever actually happen to them. After the fact I perceived this to be the full manifestation of the behavioral pattern which my ego searches for serving one of the id's basic drives for seeking out new information, a quick moment of complete ego death emerging from this desire being totally and utterly satisfied in every way.

There were other aspects of this going on as well, but they are much harder even to put into words than the one I have already described. Many times throughout the trip I felt as though I was coming into contact with what people tend to refer to as the collective unconscious, though I could barely even tell you why now. It was one of those truly mystical experiences which is completely beyond description, I often felt like this trip was the kind of thing that could be taken as a religious experience if I subscribed to those kinds of beliefs, just because it was that mind-bending. On that note, there was actually one point in the trip where I was bothered by the fact that I had a headache (which was unrelated to tripping, but expected from how I was feeling before going into it), and then it just suddenly occurred to me how ridiculous it is to be upset about something so unbelievably minor when I was in the midst of an experience which was so magnificent that it was actually showing me literally the limit of how good my mind is even able to make me feel by simply turning on every pleasure switch in my perception of reality. Actually, I was so humbled by this thought that it occurred to me that I owed so much more karma even than just a headache for being able to see something so unrelentingly beautiful, and so I decided to try shifting my perception in the other direction instead. I thought about perceiving everything dark and evil that my mind could possibly handle all at once rather than the polar opposite of everything euphoric and good, and my imagination virtual reality chamber reacted immediately. I was shown many of the darker aspects of life and experienced emotions such as feeling completely crushed by some horrible life-related realizations, though it's hard to remember them in full detail now just like the lighter aspects, but what I do now is that I actually felt quite detached from them. When literally any experience I could ever want to have is within my reach without even the slightest amount of effort, do scales like light and dark, good and evil, happy and sad even matter? As far I felt, I was just a perceptual engine experimenting with its own limits, nothing more.

There were many points that I can remember during the trip where I had the thought on my mind that people often profess during heavy ego loss that I and everyone else in reality am just an individual viewpoint stemming from a single awareness which we all are, a lonely all-encompassing deity which created this reality and the complex delusions such as individuality that it contains in order to live through countless lives forever to distract itself from an eternity of nothingness. I honestly can't remember what exactly made me feel this at the time, but it felt like a very significant thought. It may be something that I'll be able to recall again with greater clarity during future trips, or it may just be one of those moments that only makes sense until it's over and then it's gone forever, or at least until the next time you're temporarily back in that place. All I know is that it added greatly to the already incredibly strong mystical feeling of the experience. I basically ended up wandering around my house all night and occasionally going outside to enjoy nature and the night sky, for what seemed like an endless amount of time. The time dilation was extremely severe for probably at least the first seven or eight hours of the trip, which I think is one of the longest times I've ever spent that deeply submerged into the heavier part of an LSD trip, more so even than much higher doses I've taken in the past. Finally, as it was starting to get to the point of going from very late at night to early in the morning, the trip started to die down somewhat.

I smoked a little bit more cannabis at some point during the morning to bring the trip back a bit, but it also potentiated the headache that I had before so I didn't do that much again after the first few hits. It wasn't too surprising how I felt considering how I had gone into the trip and especially since I had been up walking around all night with no sleep in me other than a short afternoon nap from the day before and I barely had any food in me either, so I decided to eat a big breakfast which helped me a lot in getting back to comfortable, and then after an equally big lunch a few hours later I was pretty much back to normal. I did end up going swimming a few hours after that and smoking a little bit more cannabis which had the effect of bringing the very vivid and controllable imagination that I had before back. It wasn't quite becoming actual visuals like it was during the trip, but it still flowed effortlessly in my third eye and I was still feeling a lot of emotion to it as if it was actually happening. I just thought that this part was notable, because I ended up using one of those underwater skateboard-like floaties while I was swimming and the whole time while I was trying to keep myself balanced on it I actually felt like I was doing all kinds of crazy skate tricks and grinding over tons of intense rails; it was a lot of fun just messing with the sensation. I think that would probably have to be the last thing that I can really recall which I feel was a remnant of the LSD before I ended up coming back inside and passing out on the couch for a few hours, after which I got up and started writing this report.

So, that was my experience that I thought I'd share just since to me it was so interesting for exploring various aspects and limits of the way my mind creates my perception of reality. The overlap with dream control was especially interesting me, and just makes me even more intrigued by strong psychedelic states than I already was.... As usual I'm eagerly awaiting my next time out.