Thread: time to wait LDing after family death?

2 months ago my dad passed away. At first I was naturally having alot of dreams with him in it.Now the dreams are dying down a bit. I can wild pretty effortlessly and I was doing about 1 a week before he passed away. Just wondering if it would be safe to start LDing again because a LD where he was in it would probably be pretty sad and awkward. Just wondering how long if at all you people waited before LDing after a family death. I might wild tonight but I just hope hes not in it cause it would be really strange.

My dad died when I was 11. I had a lot of dreams with him in it and they became less and less until there stopped being dreams with him in it. I think I had dreams with him in it until I stopped thinking he might still be alive. It was probably about 5 months until I had no dreams with him in it.

Originally Posted by limoguy333

Just wondering if it would be safe to start LDing again because a LD where he was in it would probably be pretty sad and awkward. Just wondering how long if at all you people waited before LDing after a family death.

limoguy333, my husband's mom died of cancer on 3/15/07. The doctors had ONE WEEK earlier had stopped all treatment (as they were futile) and simply made her as comfortable as possible while we waited for her to die. To say that it was hard on my husband and his family would be an understatement.

I was on very good terms with my mother-in-law and was able to say "goodbye" to her (tho she couldn't respond).. so I wan't concerned with anything left "unsaid" or "undone".

I usually try for LDs via WILD using the WBTB method but I found that once I woke up in the middle of the night.. my mind instantly went to her and I couldn't body asleep/mind awake (the thoughts were simply too strong). Plus I almost at times felt slightly "scared" for lucidity to occur (tho I knew this was irrational).

I am a very spiritual person (believe in heaven/hell/afterlife, etc.) which is why this might have been so hard for me.

I'll also say it took about 5 months before I felt comfortable WILDing again.. but you will know when it's the right time for you.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My Grandmother died last year a few months before I found this site and actively started LD'ing. One of my first ever LDs was a DILD sparked by having a dream about her and realizing that she was dead.

I hadn't seen her for over a year and a half before her death since I moved clear across the world and never even had a chance to talk to her on the phone since then Because of this, I took advantage of the dream and chatted with her a bit. We were extremely close before her Parkinson's got really bad. I was feeling really guilty for losing contact with her at the end (even though she probably didn't know the difference) so the dream helped me get a bit of closure.

I still dream of her occasionally, as well as other deceased loved ones. I always find the dreams pleasant because they usually spark really nice memories from my times with them.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about LD'ing or not LD'ing. If you do dream of your father, it might be a good experience for you

Originally Posted by Amelaclya

My Grandmother died last year a few months before I found this site and actively started LD'ing. One of my first ever LDs was a DILD sparked by having a dream about her and realizing that she was dead.

I hadn't seen her for over a year and a half before her death since I moved clear across the world and never even had a chance to talk to her on the phone since then Because of this, I took advantage of the dream and chatted with her a bit. We were extremely close before her Parkinson's got really bad. I was feeling really guilty for losing contact with her at the end (even though she probably didn't know the difference) so the dream helped me get a bit of closure.

I still dream of her occasionally, as well as other deceased loved ones. I always find the dreams pleasant because they usually spark really nice memories from my times with them.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about LD'ing or not LD'ing. If you do dream of your father, it might be a good experience for you

When I dreamed about my dad, I didn't realize it was a dream, I thought he came back to life or he never really died or something. I remember I thought for a while that it wasn't true that he died and that he was gonna walk in sometime.

limoguy333 - Very sorry to hear about your loss. I have no personal experience with this, but I think it would be okay to LD in general, and even to intentionally dream about your father, as long as you have really accepted his passing and are coping reasonably well with the loss. My only concern if I were in your situation would be that it might slow the healing process if you used LDs to grasp on to the idea that he is somehow still alive, or to torture yourself with fleeting dream encounters with him. That is, if you were not coping in a normal, healthy way (e.g., depression, addiction, abnormal behavior). For example,if you always woke up with great sadness after dreaming of him, missing him terribly (more than you would otherwise), then you might not be ready. If you're going through the normal stages of grief, then I can see no downside. If you wake up feeling good following a dream encounter with him, I'd say that's a good sign it's helping you.

I agree with Clairity, if it feels right to you, you'll probably know it and be ready. Everyone handles grief a little differently. If you are coping in a healthy way, you'll be all right, and dreaming may help. Best wishes to you.

I have no real experience with that because the only person in my family that has died was my uncle and I barely knew him. Well there was also my grandmother but that was when I was really young.

But I would say that I would wait about 5 weeks.

who cares? its a dream, why would it be awkward? if you see your dad in your dream then you see your dad in your dream. theres no set time to LD after a family death. Jus go LD.