Hi.

This is my first post; I've found your forum since I've been interested in Lucid Dreaming for some time now.

Please take 5 minutes to read my situation and point in any helping direction, since I'm afraid I'd go crazy.

What I'm feeling now is the feeling that nothing is real. That everthing here is fake; people, world, news; whatever you name, it thinks it's part of a dream / alternate reality / etc. I say "it", because I'm struggling to snap out of this feeling.

You may call it "Matrix"/"Truman Show" like or something; but even in "Matrix" there was a "real" world out there. What I'm believing now and I'm afraid of even talking of it (just to not make it worse), is that I / some being is dreaming, thinking, I don't know what could be, but I feel like I'm loosing my awareness.

All this, as you may say, goes against using a computer, asking in a forum, etc; since to do that I'd have to believe that those are "real", even to start asking for help.

Right now I'm at work, carrying on my everyday doings, and trying not to "think" about my problem; just not to make things worse and to hope that I'd get better eventually and be back on track.

A little history here... like 5 years ago, I got the same feeling. I'm 23 now, and then I was at high school, and in Literature class we were reading material that was about "Dreams inside dreams" (you know, there are many authors that wrote about it in the past). By the end of the year, I was in the kitchen in my house, my mom talking on the phone. As I was going to the other room, she was saying something that I didn't hear, so then she say a phrase she never told me before "Hey... I'm here". That was when everything collapse. I instantly got dizzy, started to think that I was in a comma or something and she was calling for me; I don't know. May sound crazy, but that's how I felt. Later, for some months (really, I don't remember for how long) I was afraid; talked about this to her, I even recall crying trying to explain what I was feeling, but as you may guess, it gets really hard if you talk to people that have NO idea as what you are talking about (dreams inside dreams). I even went to see a psychologyst; and it was so useless that I dropped it. Why? Because they were asking me if I saw imaginary people, if I masturbated, if people on the internet were telling me to do things... Oh my god, they had no idea what it was about my problem. I didn't/don't see people, have crazy thoughts (well, besides this reality thing), don't want to murder, don't care to start a fire, etc etc.

Anyway, after X time (I don't remember how long or how I got out of it), the last sunday happened again. I remember having a lucid dreaming where I was sitted in a chair, possesed by the devil and laughing a-la Linda Blair, wawy too loud. That, somehow, triggered this situation. When I woke up I started to think "why if I was possesed and I wouldn't know?", and that lead me to think that I'm not in reality or something.

Wow... long post. Probably now many people reading...

Anyway, this is how things are. Maybe I'm missing something here, but that's most of it. I need help. Please, at least some comments, I don't know.

What would be great is to have a reality-check here, and say "hey, this is life, not a dream or a crazy thing", but I can't. No turning off-on lights or watching digital clocks help. What would help (I guess) is that (unreleased to public?) pill that makes one forget bad things...

Tried Googling about my problem and couldn't found anything. I guess that, somewhere in the world there must be / have been someone who suffered the same thing.

My "psych" analysis is that; it all started when reading those things at school. Then triggered by the fact that my mom say that and, now I tell you, some days before that time I think I had my first sleep paralysis experience (where I felt I died...). Now , the possesion thing triggered it again. Also, I consider myself a "excluded person"; never dated any girl (I'm not ugly/fat), always been ignored by people, I'm not joking around all day -> that leads to more people taking me as being too serious, etc, etc etc. That made me think also that I'm an isolated case and so, the "Truman Show" feeling (that nothing is real) came.

Please, let me know what you think; or if I least you read through here.

Thanks in advance from a sick ('); afraid of dreams taking over his life, person.