My mind's a cunning one, I'll give it that. It uses the fact that I was a gullible child against me, and it works everytime.

When I was a kid I had harsh back pains for a few weeks. I told my mum about it at around the time my dad was run over and broke his back, and my mum kept saying it was sympathy pains. As much as I'd have liked to go to the doctors, in my head I'd keep telling myself "it's just sympathy pains". Now, over 12 years after, when something ridiculous happens in my dreams someone will come along and remind me "it's just sympathy pains".

Hurricanes in the middle of England? Sympathy pains. Hands have turned into squids? Sympathy pains. Both of your legs have been ripped from their sockets by a 50 foot baby? Sympathy pains.... Yeah, thanks mum