thank you everyone, its been helpful! still struggling though! yesturday I worked from 2pm to roughly 10:30pm. which I hated in that it took up my entire afternoon and evening.

So I go to sleep, and I have the intention of having a WILD! I know..I know..I'm being told not to do WILDs before I go to sleep - but after last night I'll be trying it again!

I focus on my breathing. I tell myself my worries are in my hand, I let them go. And I focus to turn off the dialogue in my head, which wasn't easy since there was an annoying song stuck up in there. Oh wait..! Thats not a song Its the movie commericals that are always playing at work and the sounds of the game room! And in less than a minute the first ghostly and dark images of work come up. Theyre not solid, but they're there.

I try to just observe the HIs..but I started to feel myself losing consciousness, and every time I do I'm behind the register again. No! I tell myself "I'm not here. This is nothing. Illusions". I snap out of it but the HIs are still coming. I try to change the HIs without being an actual character in it.

The popper is popping popcorn? I imagine frogs coming out! Someone wants a soda...ooooopss..the soda machine has gone crazy and is squirting everywhere. Magicaly flying popcorn machines? Managers turning into animals? A forest growing out of the register! It went on..and on..and on..and on......and for the longest time I was practically battling the hypnotic imagery. And sometimes I would have to think "I'm not here. This is nothing. illusions" or else I would take part of the HI and lose consciousness.

The HIs of the forest were nice and peaceful, but there was one insistant customer. I made his head fall off and still he was asking for popcorn!

I was so focusd on the HIs I wasn't expecting what happened next. My hand moved! But it felt like someone else moved it. My hearing turned off, it felt like someone put plugs in them, and my whole body felt numb and fuzzy like it was filled with carbonated water. And the sensations grew more intense, and I felt like my body could float away or sink deep into the ground.

And the moment I remembered I was attempting a WILD, I got..just...a LITTLE excited. And it stopped. Everything stopped. The HIs, the sensations. Everything. I was staring at total blackness behind my eyes. No sounds. Nothing. And since my mind is always on fire with some sorta thought - this was very strange!! Did I WILD? No. I did a reality check afterwards. I was still very much in my room.

OH WELL! I try the WILD one more time! The HIs waste no time coming back. And the HIs of work grew weaker and weaker and weaker, until finally they disappear completely. The HIs of the forest were dominant. It only took a couple of minutes for the sensations of floating away to come back. And I felt a heavy weight being placed on top of my entire body.

But then my cat jumps on my head

I push her off, my hands feel like fluff and I can't even feel her fur

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I have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal! I didn't have a WILD. I lost sleep attempting it. And falling back to sleep naturally wasn't all that easy afterwards.

But at the same time, after my two WILD attemps the HIs of work and all thoughts about work were completely GONE. What I like most about the WILD is not becomming apart of the HI.

But...I still had dreams last night about OTHER things that are stressing me out. @___@

Should I stop the WILDs on the account I still lose sleep and its yet to work?? Or do I continue the WILD attempts on the account that without it, I lose rest and that one day I might actually have a WILD???