Thread: I just can't do it

I have tried to lucid dream for about a month now and all that happens is I stay awake for about 1 hour go to sleep and don't even remember any dreams at all, I have a very stressful life and I think that lucid dreaming would help me out, but no its making my life even more stressful I just don't get it, I must be doing something wrong, NO I have researched and researched and researched found out I was doing what I was supposed to do on a lucid dream Wake back to bed: Failed, FILD: Failed, MILD: Failed, WILD: Failed, I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!!!

I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but patience is your friend. One month is not a long time at all for acquiring your first LD. It took me much longer than that. You mention that you cannot remember your dreams, in that case your first priority is working on dream recall. Start a dream journal if you haven't done so already and make that your main focus. No need to go for lucid yet. Once your dream recall is up adequate (at least a few dreams/night), then start with an easy method of LD induction, either DILD or MILD. Focus on ONE method and try it for a month or two. And don't stress about it. The mind is funny that way, it will happen when you least expect it. Many people (myself included) had their first lucid without even trying after weeks of hard work and many failed attempts. Good luck!

You don't understand I have a dream journal filled with endless pages of dreams, I do about 100 reality checks ever hour and when I go to bed I just can't. Wake back to bed is not going to work because I sleep on a couch in a living room. Mild is the most stressful thing ever, constant Mantras making you go insane, Wild is insanely difficult and half the time your body wont move and you will see creepy shadows in the corners of your eyes, I tried a few reality checks at school and my teachers must have thought I was an idiot, you have a better chance of winning the lottery then sucesfully performing a DILD, FILD is just another stressful MILD, AND YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE A WIZARD TO HAVE A LUCID DREAM BECAUSE I AM THINKING OF QUITTING, Its not stress, its my sanity, I think im gonna snap If I don't have a lucid dream tonight
I don't understand how people have theese things, Ever second of my life I am starting to regret lucid dreaming, Its affecting my grades, sleep, and overall health.

If life is already stressful then I would take care of that first and take the focus off lucid dreaming techniques. Lucid dreaming won't directly reduce stress because lucid dreams can't happen with stress already present. Start a meditation practice to calm yourself down and focus your mind. You will start to see improvements in all areas of your life. You can still read about lucid dreaming before going to sleep and that in itself may trigger lucidity, but just focus on getting good sleep. When the stress in your life is reduced and you feel calmer and more focused you can begin practicing techniques.

Originally Posted by dreambright

Wild is insanely difficult and half the time your body wont move and you will see creepy shadows in the corners of your eyes.

Also, if this refers to personal experience this tells me that you are having success already and don't know it. These are signs that you're getting close to a lucid dream. Imagine what you could achieve with a calm mind.

Originally Posted by Daniele

If life is already stressful then I would take care of that first and take the focus off lucid dreaming techniques. Lucid dreaming won't directly reduce stress because lucid dreams can't happen with stress already present. Start a meditation practice to calm yourself down and focus your mind. You will start to see improvements in all areas of your life. You can still read about lucid dreaming before going to sleep and that in itself may trigger lucidity, but just focus on getting good sleep. When the stress in your life is reduced and you feel calmer and more focused you can begin practicing techniques.



Also, if this refers to personal experience this tells me that you are having success already and don't know it. These are signs that you're getting close to a lucid dream. Imagine what you could achieve with a calm mind.

This, 1000 times this. Marc VanDeKeere writes that one of the important steps to achieving lucid dreams is to pay attention to and to take care of your waking life. Stress is a dream killer. It is because when you wake up stressed, your mind immediately starts churning over your waking life worries, allowing the fleeting dream memories to vanish before you can move them to long-term memory.

And let me just say, if your goal in life was to become a concert pianist, would you quit after one month if you couldn't yet play Chopin's Grand Valse Brillante? No, you would practice, learn the fundamentals, and gradually increase your abilities over time. You have to train yourself to play the piano, through repetition of exercises appropriate for your experience level. You must enjoy the process, it should be fun for you and a positive addition to your life, or in the long run you won't stick with it.

Lucid dreaming is the same. You must learn the fundamentals, and put them into practice on a daily basis. You must stick with the practice for the long run. You must keep a positive attitude, and enjoy all of your dreaming experiences. And along the way to mastery (which just like piano or any discipline requiring effort, can take years and years), you will have many amazing experiences that keep you motivated and entertained. If you already have a "dream journal filled with endless pages of dreams," then it seems to me you have little to complain about -- some people struggle just to recall a single dream per night. You already have a major leg up on one of the foundations of LD practice: dream recall.

You need to change your attitude to enjoy and treasure all your dreaming experiences. If you keep associating negative emotions with dreaming, your SC will eventually turn off the recall spigot since you're building the association that "dreams = more stress".

I have been trying to lucid dream for about a year and a half now, achieving only 3-4 pre-lucids (Where you dream that you are lucid but you aren't conscious), but I haven't given up. Just keep trying and eventually you will succeed, don't expect intent results and no matter what a website or person says, THERE IS NO SHORTCUTS, practice is key. The best advice I have to give is, if you can't keep trying without instant success, you need to re-think your path to lucid dreaming.

Originally Posted by TicTacoToe

I have been trying to lucid dream for about a year and a half now, achieving only 3-4 pre-lucids (Where you dream that you are lucid but you aren't conscious), but I haven't given up. Just keep trying and eventually you will succeed, don't expect intent results and no matter what a website or person says, THERE IS NO SHORTCUTS, practice is key. The best advice I have to give is, if you can't keep trying without instant success, you need to re-think your path to lucid dreaming.

Oh, dude, hilarious story.
I was in some kind of mall and pretty sure I was lucid. I went to some apothecary to buy lucidity pills (as sort of stabilization technique, I've read about it on this forum), and threw them in. After I left the shop to check the rest of the mall, I lost lucidity . I walk along the mall, non-lucid, and few seconds later the apothecary (is that what you call them?) comes out and literally shouts at me "LUCID! LUCID!"

I think that was the dumbest thing ever- not becoming lucid after being shouted at to become lucid

Dreambright, you are approaching lucid dreaming the wrong way. A month is not too very long for trying to have a LD. You are definitely not the only one who waited a month and still didn't have one. Secondly, your mindset is way off. By thinking "I JUST CAN'T DO IT", then you won't. Saying that you 'failed' WILD and MILD, then you will 'fail' at them every time. By putting 'always zero' for your LD count is just reinforcing that. You need a positive mindset and it will come much more easily. Practice positive affirmations such as "I will become lucid" or "I know I can do it".

You also are trying to force it too much. Don't keep yourself awake for hours trying to induce a lucid dream. You have to be relaxed. Being excited or frustrated will never ever work. When you wake up, don't get up immediately and run to your dream journal and get angry when you can't remember any dreams. Stay still for a few minutes and really concentrate on anything you remember, even if they're just small pieces or even just an emotion or person. Write down whatever you can think of and if you can't, then write that down too. Getting in the habit of writing in a DJ everyday will help you remember your dreams better.

Start smaller. Stop trying to use all these more advanced techniques and focus on reality checks and dream journals. Be a little more patient. I have been lucid dreaming for a few years now and I can tell you that it has been worth the beginning frustration a thousand times over. The last thing lucid dreaming should be is a cause of stress. If you have any questions feel free to send me a message. I'd love to help.

How do I have more self confidence?

Originally Posted by dreambright

How do I have more self confidence?

Fake it until you have it.

The "I will know I will have a lucid dream" Is the stressful part

I can't constantly say a montra over and over again It keeps me up all night, I guess I will try tonight but just saying I am quitting lucid dreaming if I don't have one tonight. Which I know is a no

I'm not sure I understand. By affirming "I will have a lucid dream", you are helping yourself expect a lucid dream to happen. It isn't supposed to put pressure on you, just to help you believe in yourself.

If I lucid dream tonight I will continue trying to do it if I don't I will just quit...Wish me the best of luck......I will need it

Dude. LDreaming takes time and patience to achieve. After 3 months (almost giving up) I finally had my first WILD. And I can tell you that IT'S WORTH IT.

Just keep trying and eventually you'll get there!

If You see any messages saying that I will quit, ignore them, I will Rise from the ashes and try tonight

Your mantra isn't supposed to be something you repeat in your head constantly all night. It is something you say several times during the day and when you go to bed. You don't have to only think about that.

Do I have to say them when I go to bed?

You don't have to say them, but it is helpful to say them before you fall asleep. But that definitely doesn't mean making it a chant that you lose sleep over. You can't have a LD when you can't even sleep.

Like do I have to even mention a mantra while I go to sleep because thats the stressful part

If the mantra is really stressing you out, then of course you shouldn't use it. It just helps some people believe in themselves and induce a LD.

We can continue this conversation in a PM if you want.

Hey, dreambright. I assure you, 1 month is not enough time to expect to have your first lucid dream. I started trying to Lucid Dream in June and I didn't have my first Lucid Dream until August. Lucidity is not a practice. It is a mindset. Keep in mind that pretty much all of your life, you have not been lucid. It will take some time for your brain to be rewired to be lucid. And if there's one thing that I've come to know, it's that lucidity and stress don't mix in the slightest. Since lucidity is a lifestyle, keep in mind that your technique should be one that is fairly calm, peaceful, or positive for you. It should not be driving you insane. Work on recall first. Lucidity means nothing without recall. If you have no recall, then you could very well be having lucid dreams every single but not remember them. And if you can't remember them, it's like it never even happened. Don't give up because of the time that it will take to Lucid Dream. The time to do it will pass whether you're working on it or not. So, just do it. It is well worth the wait! Trust me! My first one caught me so off guard and I refuse to stop pursuing such an amazing activity. And trust me, EVERYONE can lucid dream. But, like most things worth getting in life, it takes time and effort.

I dont do mantras...they are not required. Ajanime22 is correct...it is a mindset you develop. And it definitely takes a soft touch. If I try too hard it doesnt happen. It is more like when you think "I need to wake up at 6 am tomorrow." Somehow you subconscious does it effortlessly. Also there are lots of factors that affect LDs. Most of us cant make them happen every night... I have about 1 a week...but it is pretty effortless. But I do WBTB by having a bathroom break at 4:30 or 5. And if I had a dream I recalled at that time I just think "I am due for an LD." And that is usually when it happens...

It took me over 6 months of effort before I had my first lucid. Granted, I wasn't exactly following the best tutorials (they weren't from DV), but I kept with it until I had it. And I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had my biggest breakthrough when I learned one important thing:

Mindset is more important than Method.

Seriously, as has been said a ton in this thread already, if you think of yourself as having "failed" for an entire month, and that you "can't lucid dream", you've already defeated yourself. If you get frustrated from not having the results you want, you're setting yourself even farther back because of the extra stress you're adding on to yourself.

For one, the common methods you find aren't cut-and-dry checklists that you have to follow 100% in order to have a lucid and if you don't have one then you're doing it wrong. They're good starting points, but ultimately each method requires some experimentation to find what works best for you. Staying up an hour not working for you? Stay up for maybe a half hour, or even 15 minutes, just so it's easier to fall asleep. Mantras getting your mind too occupied? Try just slowly counting down from 100 as you fall asleep, and between every 2 or 3 numbers repeating to yourself, "I am dreaming."

It mostly comes down to finding the right combination for you, and even that perfect combination one day might not work the next. So the key is to stay open to experimentation, and not get too down if it doesn't work right away. Much like Thomas Edison finding one thousand ways not to make a lightbulb, you just shake off the failure and see it as a learning experience - you just found one combination that doesn't always work for you (though I wouldn't rule that combination out after one failure, just saying).

If you continually find yourself frustrated, I would advise stepping back for a few days, taking a break from RCs and mantras, getting some normal sleep (after all, sleep is the most important requirement for lucid dreaming ), and then trying again once you've calmed down and have a fresh perspective on lucid dreaming. Heck, you might even have a lucid during those few rest days without even trying. It could happen (it's happened to me a couple times).

i was gonna say so many encouraging things to you but everyone before me already did . just hang in there, and change your angles. Lucid dreaming is something you need to figure out, not something you can press for. To me, its a hobby, and its certainly a sort of lifestyle as well. Confidence and attitude are two decisive things, but it doesnt quite work to demand a lucid dream, or to think that you deserve one for one reason or another. Neither do I think that lucid dreaming on its own will do something for you, like a sort of self-therapy. Its a great hobby to have but I dont think it helps with a stressful life like that. Go on and sort a few things out in your life first, thats how you get rid of some of the stress that you are having. Now, certainly you dont need me to break you some advice here like i m your pa, but I can see how stressed you are and its not necessary, nor is lucid dreaming gonna take that away.

Taking a break for a week or two isn't a bad idea. You don't have to quit forever. Just try not trying so hard for a little while. Then when you feel less stressed about it, you can dive back in.
I'd also suggest finding any little accomplishment to feel good about. Maybe you remember a vague fragment of a dream, for example. Awesome, that's a great start.