What am I doing wrong?

At least a year is how long I've been trying to have my first LD, and I have never had one. Ever.
I have tried WILD, DILD, WBTB, FILD you name it, I've tried it... And failed.
I do reality checks often and am not sleep deprived, I feel as if I am missing out but I won't give up. I believe that I can lucid dream, but something is holding me back. Trust me, if someone can come up with a good answer that allows me to unlock the seemingly impenetrable door to lucid dreaming, it will be happiest moment of my entire life. Seriously. Thanks!

Well, my attitude to lucid dreaming has always been that it's all about simply trying to bring your critical thinking with you into the dream.
This can be done by regularly observing your current situation in waking life, and ask yourself why you think that you are awake.
In waking life you probably don't usually really question your current situation, and therefore you will start having that attitude in dream as well and believe that you are awake, even if you are actually dreaming!
For example, how do you know that you are awake right now?
Ask yourself this question, and take it seriously.
Try to do something that is normally impossible in waking life (safe things, of course!), and don't accept that you are awake until everything has been perfectly stable and realistic for at least a couple minutes.
Then keep doing this a few times every day, and you will eventually have that attitude in dreams as well.

This is one way to develop lucid dreaming - also, make sure that your dream recall is excellent, because this will make it easier for you to remember any lucid dreams that you might have had.
Yes, you could in fact have become lucid very recently but forgot about it!

You should also totally take a look at Stephen LaBerge's book "Exploring The World Of Lucid Dreaming", this is easily one of the most appreciated books about lucid dreaming.

Keep going TicTac:) Join a tutorial, make a work book do whatever it takes - use Dream views to LD - you can do it! :hug:

Hey there,

In addition to the advice already given...make sure you pay enough attention to your dreams.

Its quite easy to be so caught up in thinking about techniques and theories and ways of consciousness and what-not that you forget to actually pay attention to and value your dreams for what they are. Any lucidity starts with being familiar with and appreciating your dreams. Even worse, it's possible to be wanting to lucid dream so much that you begin to discard any non-lucid dream as unimportant, or worse, as a failure. This will have a negative impact upon your chances of getting lucid.

So while working on techniques, be sure to always ask yourself: am I paying enough attention to *all* my dreams?

Just my 2 cents,

-Redrivertears-

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Originally Posted by Redrivertears

Just my 2 cents,

-Redrivertears-

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Bingo!

Hmm maybe join the DreamViews buddy program? (I think you'll have to wait until a month after you've joined DV though). It's been a great asset to my own lucid dreaming.
And like Patience108 said, workbooks and tutorials are great, also good for keeping track of progress. DreamViews will help a lot :)

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Originally Posted by Redrivertears

that you begin to discard any non-lucid dream...as a failure. This will have a negative impact upon your chances of getting lucid.

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so what are you proposing?

1 Question: do you keep a dream journal? The first thing I usually do when I want to get more lucid dreams is to start recording my dreams.

1 Comment: your perseverance is admirable! I find it hard to keep trying after 3 days of failure o.0

But yeah a journal would be great if you don't already do that. Another thing that's about as helpful as keeping a journal: mindfulness meditation. Whenever I meditate longer and with more concentration, I get more lucid dreams. In my case it works like this: Once you have a journal, you have a journal. Writing for 1 hour is a bit better writing for 15 minutes, but not much much better; the returns diminish quickly. But with meditation, every minute you add is almost as helpful as the previous one. So meditating for 2 hours is awesome, but practicing mindfulness for 4 hours is twice is good.

So if you don't have a journal, start one. And if you don't practice mindfulness, start meditating (mindfulness practice is a form of meditation). I think that if I wanted to see benefits from meditation I would have to practice for at least 30 minutes a day. It seems like a lot and it's really not easy, so don't think that you have to do it for 30 minutes or it will be useless; even 5 minutes is much better than nothing.

I know what it feels like to constantly not get a lucid dream, I sympathize with you and I wish you luck = ) Also if you have any further questions you're welcome = D

Yes, I do keep a dream journal

You could start a workbook in here: Intro-class

Are there any patters in your dreams? Things that happen very often? You could exploit that and visualize scenarios where you do the thing you always do but this time you become lucid. Or just autosuggest "when this happens I will know that I am dreaming". Have you tried that?

edit: I'm going to bed now and it might be 12 hours before I respond again so I want to apologize. You can also read your journal entries during bedtime and think about where you could have, should have or would have wanted to become lucid.

No, I haven't spotted any patterns at all :( I'll keep trying though. But I do read my dream journal before bed however.

Maybe it's too much to ask, but if you could post some journals, 4 or 5, I could try to see if I can find something useful. It can be more general things too, it doesn't have to be "I always go to the grocery store, buy a chocolate bar and shove it up my nose repeatedly until I lose consciousness due to blood loss". It can be "I do reckless things, sometimes at the grocery story, sometimes in my room, sometimes involving a chocolate bar up my nose, sometimes not".

I, for example, have violent dreams. I'm always fighting someone who just doesn't die. I'm usually a bit stronger and I give hard punches and kicks but it's always just not hard enough. Guns never fire real bullets, they're always too soft. A few days ago I was stabbing someone in the head/head after he was lying on the ground and it didn't work. Eventually I cut out his throat and for a moment I thought he was dead but then he seemed to still be not dead. And then the dream ended.

The point is that there is a general recurrence of violence and people not giving up, you see? So maybe there will be more general patterns/themes in your dreams.

And if it's sex it's always the same thing.

Hmmm... interesting points brought up here.

OP. You have tried all of the techniques in a year? I would recommend sticking to a single technique for recall, awareness, and a good sleep schedule, it will come if you are persistent. You will reap what you sew, but if you are sewing in a thousand different fields, you won't have time to reap. I see that you have "DJed", I recommend using a DJ with the end goal of not having to use a DJ.
http://www.dreamviews.com/dream-sign...m-journal.html
This is designed to teach you how to find out what techniques work best for you. Find them and stick to them.

Everyone else, are non lucid dreams a failure? no.
why not? because there is something below them.
We shouldn't be concentrating on our failures but our success, we know what makes us not have dreams and not have lucids, it is what we were doing before we started LDing, what everyone else in the world is doing. Studying failure will lead to failure.

A dream is a step in the right direction, an aware dream even more, a lucid is the mark. Missing the mark isn't failure, but a testament to how far we still have to go.

Okay so I just took a long look at my DJ and found one recurring theme that I have no idea how I missed - space.
Now how will I do RCs in dreams where I'm in space if I have never been and will never go to space in my life, and therefore will never have the chance to do a RC in space? It seems I'm in a bit of a pickle!

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Originally Posted by TicTacoToe

Okay so I just took a long look at my DJ and found one recurring theme that I have no idea how I missed - space.
Now how will I do RCs in dreams where I'm in space if I have never been and will never go to space in my life, and therefore will never have the chance to do a RC in space? It seems I'm in a bit of a pickle!

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You don't need to RC when you are in space to RC when you are in space in a dream. We look through our DJs and think about dreams to get more acquainted with the difference between waking and sleeping. Knowing the differences helps to tell them apart when you are in them. Here is something I PMed someone a couple days ago:

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If you are doing a RC correctly, then it barely matters when you are doing it, just that you are doing it. It may increase the chances a little to add it onto something that you dream about, but only a little. One thing that always connects me to LDs and I always RC when I see it is the moon, because it reminds me of some awesome experiences at the moon and at night time in Zodra. I only see the moon at night, but I now have a tattoo of the moon on my wrist, so I RC every time my hands are in focus.

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There are lots of things like "the moon" that is often in my dream that I don't RC for because I can't and I don't have time. But I do RC every time I walk through a door. It is a mental RC, but it is the mental part of the RC that matters in the first place.

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Originally Posted by Jacob46719

so what are you proposing?

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Well, I’m sure each dreamer has their own ways. The basic idea though is to take an active interest in your dreams, even the non-lucid ones.

As for myself, I take a fairly broad approach to dreaming. I figured the main reason I got into lucid dream was to have fun and have great dream experiences. So it didn’t make sense for me to only pay attention to lucid dreams, when there’s plenty of regular dreams that are quite fun and great to remember as well.

To that end, I keep two dream journals. One regular that I keep next to my bed to write down dreams during the night, and another digital one that I open in the morning during breakfast. In this last one, I tend to take one of two dreams each night that I remember fondly and write them down in greater detail. Obviously, lucid dreams are great contenders for this, but just as often this will be a regular dream that was particularly memorable, adventurous, intense, or emotional.

Additional, to keep track of my process, I developed my own ‘scoring system’ on two different scales. One of these scales is ‘dream awareness’, which corresponds more or less with what lucid dreaming (though takes less of an all-or-nothing approach). The other is ‘dream experience’. A particularly intense, fantastic, or vivid dream would score high on ‘dream experience’, whereas a dream in which I’m aware of dreaming, use dream control, and notice recurring elements would score high on ‘dream awareness’.

When looking at my progress, I value both scales. A night in which I have a high ‘dream awareness’ is valuable, but a night in which I have a high ‘dream experience’ is valuable to me as well. That way, I try to keep track of all aspects of my dreams. At the same time it feels to me that the more attention I pay to seperate elements, the more they grow, but as they grow they strengthen each other, creating an overall richer, more interesting, more memorable and more aware dream-life (with plenty of lucidity thrown in the mix).

But as I said, that’s just my approach :)

And sorry to derail the original question a little bit.

-Redrivertears-

Sensei I think you made a valid point. Having said that, I think we could give our friend some more specific tips that are tailor-made for his situation.

When you are in a room you could imagine that the room as a whole is in space. So you could jump up with the intention of discovering whether there is gravity or not. You could try to leave objects suspended in air by letting go of them. Maybe you could make it more interesting by taking a piece of paper, letting go of it, turning away from it and imagining that it might not have fallen down. And then look back at the paper and try to keep an open mind: "I wonder if it fell down... If it didn't; I am dreaming!!" If you can watch a cloudless night sky without trees, rooftops or lamppost or such, you can say "Hey... This looks a lot like space..." You could watch videos from astronauts for RC ideas. Videos that they record for our entertainment. You could also watch them just for fun... Like I do :P This is one such video: Chris Hadfield's Space Kitchen

Another one: while imagining that your room is floating in outer space, you can open a door with the intention of discovering whether you're on Earth or in outer space. A more general comment, just trying to be creative with ways to RC and looking for dream patterns that you could use to RC might also be helpful, because... If you're thinking creatively and trying to come up with new ideas, while watching TV or pooping or something, you get an idea out of nowhere, right? Well, it might happen inside a dream, and you could become lucid that way.

I hope this helps.

I think these are the keys:

1. Journal your good dreams and really want and enjoy your dreams. Some of my very best have been non-LDs so dont discount normal dreams.
2. RCs are helpful starting out. Dont overdo it, however. Try to develop a mindset to RC when something unusual or weird happens.
3. Look for dream signs that reoccur. I gotta believe you have them. Remember that signs are not always what you see. Could be feelings you have, similar settings, reoccurrant themes.
4. Seriously intend to have one. This isnt easy to manufacture. It is kind of like intending to wake up at 6. Some nights after a WBTB I just KNOW I am going to LD. The mind has to be in the right frame but when it is I almost always am successful. This isnt wanting to LD, it is knowing you will LD.

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Originally Posted by Rothgar

4. Seriously intend to have one. This isnt easy to manufacture. It is kind of like intending to wake up at 6. Some nights after a WBTB I just KNOW I am going to LD. The mind has to be in the right frame but when it is I almost always am successful. This isnt wanting to LD, it is knowing you will LD.

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3 Good points. Regardless, I can't let the 4th one go. The guy has been trying for a year. Just intending to have one is not going to work. How is he supposed to "know" he's going to have an LD if he's been trying for a year and failing consistently? Not. That's how :P

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Originally Posted by Ginsan

3 Good points. Regardless, I can't let the 4th one go. The guy has been trying for a year. Just intending to have one is not going to work. How is he supposed to "know" he's going to have an LD if he's been trying for a year and failing consistently? Not. That's how :P

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There is a difference between knowing and intending, I know that he later clarified it as "know", but as far as intending goes, it is needed. You need to make sleep priority, don't intend to go to sleep, intend to lucid dream. It should be part of your schedule, on your mind.

Sensei I agree, but the point remains. It's meaningless to tell someone who has been trying for a year "you just have to know that you will have a dream tonight".

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Originally Posted by Ginsan

Sensei I agree, but the point remains. It's meaningless to tell someone who has been trying for a year "you just have to know that you will have a dream tonight".

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True, but that isn't what I said. Intent is intending/planning on having a lucid dream, not "trying to expect a lucid dream" expectation is determined by experience, so telling most anyone to "expect a lucid dream" is pretty faulty. I can find certain ways to change my expectation by focusing on specific experience.

Thanks for the advice guys, I have decided to choose the SSILD technique as my main focus for lucid dreaming, I'm going to stick with it for a few months and see how it goes. Thanks again guys!

You're welcome : )

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Originally Posted by TicTacoToe

Thanks for the advice guys, I have decided to choose the SSILD technique as my main focus for lucid dreaming, I'm going to stick with it for a few months and see how it goes. Thanks again guys!

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Good luck. :) ssild was very helpful for me, but I would recommend doing a daytime technique to go with it, something like meditation before bed. Ssild is helpful, but I think of it like a "supplement" it will only help what you are doing, it won't do all of the work.