I will let Sageous respond to the above, as I am not sure I gleaned everything in a quick read, but there were a few points that bothered me:

I’d agree that to some point a person that isn’t aware that she is actually in her bed safe and sound might have some initial issues with dream control, but you certainly don’t need any kind of episodic memory….at some point, the realization that you are dreaming would naturally escape the need for the recall.
I think memory in general is necessary for lucidity. One would need to be able to remember what a dream is in order for one to realize they were in a dream, so erasing memories, as you mention, could quite literally destroy one's ability to lucid dream. Furthermore, you mention that once lucidity is "reached," memory is far less relevant. I think the concept of lucidity being "reached," as though once you know it is a dream, your lucidity can no longer be refined and improved by waking life memory, is wrong. I only speak from experience.

In practice, it is often the waking life memory of being asleep (as I think sivason pointed in another reply) that allows the mind to actually understand (not know) that one is experiencing a construct. It is one thing to know you are asleep, and quite another to feel and fully understand that you are asleep. The lucidity brought on in a flash of awareness is usually not enough to break the many layers of waking-life logic and rationalizations we've attached to the dream state. So I would actually say that remembering I was in bed would improve my control a lot more than simply seeing my hand pass through my body like smoke. The latter tells me I have a body that can be passed through like smoke. The former tells me that right now, I'm everything, and that my conceptions of body and mind are illusory. I think it's different.

I also wanted to add (on a general note, to everyone) that I have been experimenting with mindfulness in dreams, and have been surprised by the strong connection that exists between mindfulness and memory. In Buddhism, as someone else mentioned, we would just talk about this as sati, whether it be sati of the present moment (what most people think of when they think of mindfulness) or of the past (memory). In general, it has been my experience that in order for memories to even arise, mindfulness must make some space. When I become lucid, I try to observe my surroundings. During this time, numerous waking life memories simply return to me--goals, plans, etc. I then have a choice whether or not I want to actually pursue those, or continue to observe the dream.

Thank you for this interesting post, Sageous. Next up--mindfulness!