Thread: I'm in need of your enlightenment

I had a strange experience the other morning and I was hoping someone would bring clarity to me.
To start, a little about me: I'm 26 years old and am an engineering student well on his way to a career. My particular fields of interest are chemical and aerospace. I live in Seattle and am overjoyed about the seahawks victory
Anyways, I have never sought advice on any of my experiences, but this one seems to need some further pondering. In retrospect, I have had one lucid dream prior to this one. I was a child laying in bed with my eyes closed, staring at the patterns made in the darkness of my eyelids(as I often did), when all of a sudden I was jettisoned through a wormhole (only way to describe it) and ended up floating above two other children, watching them play. I was awake(in my mind) and soon after realizing what was happening, I became frightened and brought myself back. Ever since then I have never been able to mimic this experience until the other day.. I had just woken up in the morning of Saturday and felt wide awake. I decided to catch a few more minutes of sleep so I closed my eyes. When I did I immediately was aware that I was sleeping. This frightened me and so I woke myself up by shaking my head really hard. I then repeated this 5 or 6 times in the same fashion, and each time I awoke in my dream I'd become frightened. After the second to last time of jarring myself awake, I became ashamed at my cowardice. Because of this I told myself that this time I'd embrace it and adventure a little bit; and so I did. I walked around in a place that seemed all too familiar watching people come and go without giving them notice. Until I saw this beautiful woman. I was drawn to her. I then walked straight up to her and gave her a kiss. She smiled and asked what that was for. All I could do is smile and say that I didn't know. We walked and it was beautiful, until we came upon the place from which I started this journey; where I had awoken in the dream. The mood darkened and she asked what this place was. I became ashamed and replied that it is where I have been since I was a child. (I'm not sure how I knew that) - to add additional details, instead of being immediately aware of the fact I was dreaming this time, I became aware by noticing the jacket I was wearing; I had recently lost it(my favorite jacket) and so knew the only way I could be wearing it was in a dream. I was then linked with my "awake" consciousness. Also, I was aware that I was dreaming, but something else was different. Unlike the prior dreams, in which I made my own decisions and was completely alone, This dream had others in it and sort of played like a movie. A movie that I was aware of being part of. Anyways, after telling her that I had been in the place since my early beginnings, The mood lightened and she smiled at me once more as she turned away and walked to a staircase. The staircase wrapped around to a door that was only visible because of the radiant light emanating from it. She beckoned me to follow with nothing more than a smile and a glance back as she disappeared into the light. I wanted to go. And so I tried, but once I got half way up the staircase, I felt bogged down by an invisible barrier that felt as though a thousand pounds resented on my body. I vigorously tried to overcome this burden but it was so heavy. I then screamed in a voice that I didn't realize I had. Loud and emanating. I screamed to myself that I will conquer this darkness. My screaming became louder and I could feel my will overcome this weight that was put upon me. As my will to move forward increased in intensity, I forced a portal open; blue and twisting, the same one as when I was a child. I entered it and began picking up speed until I became afraid of what lay ahead and so again, to my shame, I Jared myself back into this world with an unusual amount of regret. I want to know what was waiting for me on the other side, and doubt I will have the opportunity once again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for gifting me with whatever feedback you can give.