Thread: dream-gasms

Whenever I used to have sex dreams they'd destabilise and I'd wake up before I even got to have sex at all! Then they started destabilising during sex, and now I can have sex and finish and keep going with the dream as though nothing happened. As you learn to stabilise, and your dreams naturally become more stable around you, the sex won't wake you up

Originally Posted by Bossalinni

yea been alil while sense i read it so i could be alil off, also in the study the subjects stayed sleeping the whole time, not sure if that matters

YES big difference. Because if I reach orgasm from my dream, it wakes me up because I'm actually having a physical orgasm. I've never just felt an orgasm in my dream and not woken up. Mine are real.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Try abstaining for a while... should help.

I don't have a lot of sex, I probably haven't in a few months. And I have these dreams whether I am or not and I'm definitely not trying to stop them haha. But honestly hpnfreak IS right, girls don't get less horny from having more sex. It's not like getting your fix and then you're satisfied. That's why women can have multiple orgasms

*SIGH*

I know, I KNOW!!

Once again, that was addressed to a man who posted just above me... lol, I wasn't recommending YOU abstain!

Originally Posted by niteLite

I haven't experienced this, but to be honest, my dream control is lacking in general. >_<

Maybe learning about dream control and stabilization may help? I remember that at one point, my dream control was so awful that I would wake up as soon as I became lucid. And this became what happened every time because I believed it would. So I do know that dreams can become stabler and more robust when you start believing they will.

There is a lot of group think as to how to keep your dreams from falling apart, and they always involve checking and rechecking, stabilizing and re-stabilizing, which I don't actually like the idea of. I believe that you can go through intense experiences while the dream remains stable, but you may have to build that up with experiences and confidence. Your subconscious beliefs and internalization play a HUGE role in dreams. While you occasionally consciously manipulate things and play God, the subconscious does a majority of the work. Understanding this has been working for my own control so far

And don't worry about others not liking to talk about it much. I know it sucks, but people's identities tend to be fragile and because of that, they are dependent on what others think as well as social stigmas. Be proud that you have an identity that is strong and acts independently from what others think! That's not exactly easy to achieve. Just understand that people's negative reactions are never actually personal and they always come from some insecurity they have within themselves. And because of that, in the end you've gotta feel sorry for them because they're living in a world of constant worry and fear of committing a social faux pas. And that's not living, that's some level of suffering right there.



In other words, women like sex just as much as men, maybe more so (I have no idea about the moreso part, but at least equally!). They also don't have the sexual limits that males have. xD

The reason these ideas can be so taboo and the reasons different people's (and gender's) sexuality are misunderstood tend to be because of the various social stigmas associated with gender differences, sex, etc., as well as what different people find attractive. For most guys, it's obviously usually visual, whereas for women, looks are often a small part of the equation (from what different women have told me, my general experiences and what I have seen). A visually hot, whiny, insecure, quiet, jealous, neurotic guy isn't exactly as attractive as an average looking secure, confident, outgoing, fun-loving, leading man. Even through a heterosexual male's perspective, who would you rather spend most of your time as friends?

I would love it if everyone was more open about everything. If people were comfortable talking about themselves, meeting new people, etc. etc. etc. But, things are the way they are and the best way to improve things is through unapologetic action. Lead by example. Those who feel the same way will follow. But that's another topic all it's own. lol xD

WOW----I love EVERYTHING you've said!!! EVERYTHING.

About keeping control in dreams..you're so right that it mostly your subconscious. I personally do not do all those little tricks like rubbing you hands or whatever else blah blah because I believe it works better when you follow your dream because we don't fully understand our subconsciouses and I don't want to fight mine. Every dream is different, if it gives me control I'll take it. If I'm having trouble with control, there's a reason for it. Maybe our minds are trying to tell us that we don't understand ourselves that well yet and there's something we need to learn.

Also about female sexuality...Sex for me at least and I'm sure many other girls, isn't just visual.. A hot guy with an 8 pack stands no chance compared to a man who connects with me in a deep emotional way. Love is the most intricately complex emotion a human can comprehend and it is a strong one. Nothing turns me on like love or maybe at least a guy who gets and appreciates me. That's why dreams excite me so much because you can feel so deeply in dreams and you really become in touch with your deepest subconscious desires. I get to know myself better every night.

Thanks for the input!

hahaa okay!! I was like umm..is he calling me a slut?? how rude!!

I wouldn't call you a slut... then you might stop posting so much about sex...

Originally Posted by Dark_Merlin

Whenever I used to have sex dreams they'd destabilise and I'd wake up before I even got to have sex at all! Then they started destabilising during sex, and now I can have sex and finish and keep going with the dream as though nothing happened. As you learn to stabilise, and your dreams naturally become more stable around you, the sex won't wake you up

ha yeah I started that way too! You have to work your way up! But I'm thinking my problem is now that I wake up because I'm having a physical orgasm....maybe if I had sex in my dream and didn't wake up, I'd skip that part. Like maybe I'd have a dream orgasm but not a physical one and I like that part. Because lately I've had no problem controlling them and I just generally have the feeling that my subconcious is giving me what it knows I want. (I had another last night so now I think I figured it out lol)

Originally Posted by saltyseedog

I think depending on how deep of a dream state you find yourself in depends if it effects you on a physical level when you have sex and oragasm. I've had both. A mess in the morning and lots of lucid dream sex and no mess.

hmm interesting!! I'm going to have to try to have one when in a deeper dream state or maybe I do, I just don't remember those?

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

I wouldn't call you a slut... then you might stop posting so much about sex...

why, am I entertaining you?? SEX SEX SEX SEX hahahaa <-- I like these random cute lil smiley things

wait wait...I gotta tell you this I forgot. Whats funny is I have different kinds of sex dreams. Like in real life you can have sex buddies that you use just for that, romantic sex, etc.....In my dreams I have random sex buddies I'm just using whatever and then other times its with guys from my past/present who I care deeply for and its the sex you have with someone you love. I really am the weirdest girl ever!!

ooh smooth!! I feel so

well its so I'm going to so I can be about jk sorry HAD to use that smiley when I saw it
think I wanna have a flying dream tn

Pleasant dreams!! (for me too! )

I'm also 20, but my sex life/dream life is so much more sad and pathetic. Whenever I get horny in my non-lucid dreams and feel sensations down there, those alone are much more powerful than what I would constitute as my real life "orgasms", and whenever I want to get further, I just wake up. I've never felt muscle spasms or anything that epic, just a pleasant feeling like you finally get the engine running or a fire started, and soon after it fades away. I'm rarely able to get lucid, let alone have any dream control or even have anything remotely go my way in dreams.

Last night I dreamt that I was so horny that I was trying to find a private place to masturbate in the house, but doors wouldn't stay shut from either hinge and family would always be coming and going to see what I was doing, and then I finally found a guy friend I knew in the bathroom, so we locked the door and decided to have sex. He dropped his pants, and his dick was like a pinky-length, twice as thin twisted white root, like from a potato. I decided to give him a hand job and it got more normal looking, but very dry. Then I tried to get him to touch me down there, but he would never do anything right and it was going nowhere, I had better luck doing it myself rather than directing him.

I'm afraid I might be one of those women who has a hard time reaching orgasm, but I am on anti-depressants that can inhibit libido... I only want to masturbate every couple of days most frequently. I'm like the polar opposite of you, haha. Got any tips? Or are you one of those special people who can instantly be lucid and have the most amazing experiences every single night? I'm also a virgin, so...

aaah, be very careful assuming that all women share the same type of sexuality. you could one day be mistaken for a bad lover.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

I'm also 20, but my sex life/dream life is so much more sad and pathetic. Whenever I get horny in my non-lucid dreams and feel sensations down there, those alone are much more powerful than what I would constitute as my real life "orgasms", and whenever I want to get further, I just wake up. I've never felt muscle spasms or anything that epic, just a pleasant feeling like you finally get the engine running or a fire started, and soon after it fades away. I'm rarely able to get lucid, let alone have any dream control or even have anything remotely go my way in dreams.

Last night I dreamt that I was so horny that I was trying to find a private place to masturbate in the house, but doors wouldn't stay shut from either hinge and family would always be coming and going to see what I was doing, and then I finally found a guy friend I knew in the bathroom, so we locked the door and decided to have sex. He dropped his pants, and his dick was like a pinky-length, twice as thin twisted white root, like from a potato. I decided to give him a hand job and it got more normal looking, but very dry. Then I tried to get him to touch me down there, but he would never do anything right and it was going nowhere, I had better luck doing it myself rather than directing him.

I'm afraid I might be one of those women who has a hard time reaching orgasm, but I am on anti-depressants that can inhibit libido... I only want to masturbate every couple of days most frequently. I'm like the polar opposite of you, haha. Got any tips? Or are you one of those special people who can instantly be lucid and have the most amazing experiences every single night? I'm also a virgin, so...

No, girl I totally sympathise with you. It all has to do with getting comfortable with yourself. I've also had dreams where I'm trying to get off but family is watching or other people are and I think, maybe I'm not dreaming I'm going to embarrass myself! Very frustrating but I wake up kicking myself for not going with my gut feeling. When I first had dreams like this, amazin I was younger and not as comfortable with my sexual side so I'd always have something stopping me in my dreams and have also had the same experience where the guys' dick is puny and I can't feel it ahhaa. Just don't put so much pressure on the big finale and go with that amazing feeling you initially get...that's what will lead you to an orgasm. In real life, I actually have a really hard time reaching orgasm with guys no matter how good they are. I used to fake it and think I was weird, and that's when I had these frustrating dreams. Since then I've been more honest with guys and simply accepted myself for the way I am....not only do I have more orgasms in real life but also in dream world. Girls may not have an orgasm easily or come every time, we're a little more complicated. Since I'm more comfortable with that and I'm honest about what I specifically like, now I have them much more often. You'll get there promise!!

And don't worry about the virgin thing, that's what dreams are for....fantasies

I had ANOTHER one last night, probably the best one I've ever had. This is my fifth this week hahhaaa AH! Probably because I'm thinking so much about it from this site. In this dream I was a guy and I hooked up with another guy...so freaking weird. We didnt have sex, just like held eachother and caressed. But I came hard. I started coming so fast I had to slow down to make the dream last longer, tried rubbing my hands together to stabilize but it felt too good to stop. So the dream faded away and I woke up with an amazing orgasm. What does that mean!??! BTW everyone, I promise I'm normal. If you met me in real life, you'd never expect me to be having crazy dreams like this

Keep your breathing slow while having sex, moaning and screaming is great in real life, but it will destabilize your dream. How you breath in your dream, is how you are breathing in real life, and your heart rate (and adrenaline, which is a stimulant) are also connected to your breathing

Whenever I have dream sex (always non-lucid, mind you, I'm not too interested in doing that during my lucids), I never go all the way. It always ends with something weird happening, interrupting the "sex".

Originally Posted by ninja9578

Keep your breathing slow while having sex, moaning and screaming is great in real life, but it will destabilize your dream. How you breath in your dream, is how you are breathing in real life, and your heart rate (and adrenaline, which is a stimulant) are also connected to your breathing

I tried this the other night, great tip!! Made everything last longer and I had more control. Usually when I have sex dreams, everything in the dream starts fading as I'm reaching orgasm since I begin to wake up. But since I tried controlling my breathing, the dream maintained its detail and everything lasted longer. I only woke up when I finally let go at the very end. Thanks, great advice!! You are very wise

Originally Posted by smoothcriminal1

Whenever I have dream sex (always non-lucid, mind you, I'm not too interested in doing that during my lucids), I never go all the way. It always ends with something weird happening, interrupting the "sex".

A lot of people have this problem. I used to when I first started experimenting with these dreams like DC's will be watching or the guy's penis won't go in haha. I think it has something to do with your subconcious perhaps feeling a sense of guilt with your sexuality? With more of these dreams you'll learn what you want and how to control it a little better. I also have problems with that when I'm stressed.

I lucid dream every other night and fifty percent of the time i am running around trying to find girls that are nice enough to have sex with. Most of the other time i am flying, walking through walls, exploring strange places, looking in mirrors (now thats freaky) or making up new songs and riffs. I'm glad other people experience this too, i went through a stage where i would just wake up cuming. Its good while you are dreaming until you wake up and your like noooo, not good. These days i just wake myself up before i pop. What ive noticed is the extreme realness of it all, even pussys feel moist. I can't belive i'm actually telling people this but i suppose its different on the internet. Haha

Originally Posted by IrishDJ

I lucid dream every other night and fifty percent of the time i am running around trying to find girls that are nice enough to have sex with. Most of the other time i am flying, walking through walls, exploring strange places, looking in mirrors (now thats freaky) or making up new songs and riffs. I'm glad other people experience this too, i went through a stage where i would just wake up cuming. Its good while you are dreaming until you wake up and your like noooo, not good. These days i just wake myself up before i pop. What ive noticed is the extreme realness of it all, even pussys feel moist. I can't belive i'm actually telling people this but i suppose its different on the internet. Haha

haha yeah that's why I love this site, I don't tell people this stuff! It's different being a girl since my wet dreams don't get messy, lucky me I lucid dream as often as you and I've looked in mirrors before as well...it is freaky!! One because sometimes you look exactly as you do in reality and it is so weird to see in a dream. Two, sometimes you look different in a dream mirror...like once I saw myself as a blonde (I'm a brunette). Another time I looked at myself in a mirror and the image distorted like as if I was tripping or something. Funny I forgot about my mirror dreams until you brought that up!

Originally Posted by UcfGirl

A lot of people have this problem. I used to when I first started experimenting with these dreams like DC's will be watching or the guy's penis won't go in haha. I think it has something to do with your subconcious perhaps feeling a sense of guilt with your sexuality? With more of these dreams you'll learn what you want and how to control it a little better. I also have problems with that when I'm stressed.

I don't really like dream sex, it feels really awkward when I wake up, but I often find myself having homosexual sex that ends really weird and never turns into full sex. Only when I have dream sex with women does it end fully. I just wish I could stop having dream sex, to be honest. But it is what it is.