Hello, I've been attempting on and off for the past year or so to have a lucid dream. My habits consist of standard reality checks and keeping a dream journal; along with my primary goal of successfully completing a WILD without having to rely on WBTB (I usually fall asleep directly after waking, usually I turn off the alarm without actually remembering turning it off until I've awoken again). Generally when attempting the WILD method in particular I can't obtain lucidity and get stuck in a "loop" of restlessness, falling into sleep paralysis faster then my brain can shut off; which leads to restless nights such as tonight and the past 2 nights, all of which have made me stay in a conscious state of mind until I pass out (For example, tonight I laid in bed around 10 PM; It is now 12, and I will probably be "forced awake" for the next few hours).

As the title implies, I have a few questions as follows:

1. I can "dream" or perceive my conscious reality with my eyes open very easily via WILD methods. I've gone as far as seeing cartoons play on my wall while my eyes were wide open, along with walls looking as though they are in a seemingly different dimension then their objective state and objects around my room contrasting in size and shape then which I would normally perceive them. My problem lays in the fact that I am unable to visualize anything while my eyes are closed. Only twice in my life have I gotten close to actually having a WILD.

2. Is there anyway to get back to sleep easily even after unsuccessful WILD attempts? A lot of the time I get so tired I contemplate suicide; not something I particularly find healthy, and I am not a suicidal person by any means.

3. Whenever I get close to having something which seems to be a LD it seems very, very spiritual, something I don't seem to see mentioned often so I'm curious if these "half" LDs are more along the lines of astral projection or something?

Thanks for reading, and hopefully having some answers or tips for me