Thread: Your Evil Alter Ego.

I uh...

try to have sex with people without wanting too...

;__;

Oh boy here I go. I've had several of these dark dreams before. My earliest one being a few days ago, where some punks where taunting and jeering at me, and I jumped into the middle of their group (there was about 8 of em) and attacked em. It was extremely gory. I remember the last person I attacked, I pounced on him, knocking him to his back, tore out his throat with my bare hand, and ate it.

Of course, I already know why I have this alter ego, a lot of it has to do with surpressed frustration from my earlier schooling years, round elementary school - middle school. Kids at those ages can be especially brutal.

Most interesting. I have a dark side. I wrote about it in my last dream journal entry here and it took everything in me to admit the things I did and I wont repeat it here lol.
The interesting thing though, is that I never encounter that dark self in my dreams.
Don't get me wrong, I have dreams that reveal disturbing things about myself, but they are always hum-drum and basic in nature.
Whenever I kill someone in a dream it's always in self-defense and I feel terrible about it afterwards to such an extent that it usually wakes me up.
I have an incredibly passive and empathetic personality. It's against the essence of my nature to act on any dark tendencies in my dreams because my dreams are as real to me as life itself.
I fiercly repress my darkside 95% of the time. And I loathe myself when I give in to dark fantasies.

But this is MOST interesting. I've taken this topic much too seriously lol Perhaps I'm just sleepy and waining philosophical. I want to meet my dark side face to face and find out why she exists (my dark side is a 4-7 year old girl). Even more interesting is the fact that I have very few memories of those years. Perhaps the stupid phycological/parenting test I took was true and I really am repressing memories.
So now I have a test for myself. I'm not sleeping tonight and I won't sleep tomorrow until about this time. When I do crash I will be thoroughly exhausted physically and emotionally (I have to see the cops tomorrow- err this- morning about some accusations of abuse or something and then I see my sons at the shelter they've been placed in). When I go to sleep I'm going with the determination of meeting my evil twin and trying to see what she has to say. And even if I don't meet her, I'll pay attention to the message of the dream because it could still be relevant.

Thanks for the inspiration lol.

After I read Musashi Miyamoto's book of Five rings, I had a dream where I went around challenging people in sword duels. If they resisted me, I'd slice them up. If they fought back, I'd slice them up. I remember the dream being really long, and killing many people. It was actually kindda cool.

I've had one like you are talking about that I can remember.
I was looking through a airvent type situation into a room where all of the males from my past, ex boyfriends or just people who caused me grief and and a few anonymous faces and my current fiance were sitting around on broken pipes talking very intimately about some stuff that made me mad.
I got so mad that I snuck into the room and started snapping necks and ripping off heads and castrating everyone I could get my hands on, I even caught my current fiance and ripped off his left leg (left him alive). The rest of the dream was me hunting down the survivors and murdering them, I was really terrified about the whole situation when I woke up but at the time it was pretty satisfying.

But on a different possibly related topic, I think I met my shadow-self (as in Carl Jung's shadow theory) in a dream. In fact I think that my reoccuring nightmare is me trying to flee from my shadow.
It shows up as a shadowy pale little girl or sometimes grown woman with long black hair and creepy noises (think "the grudge"). I usually am terrified either way, but usually I try to help out the little girl and sometimes she is almost benevolent but when the adult comes around I always just bolt and try everything I can to flee (most of the time when I lucid dream it's to get away from her).
When I read about shadow selves the other day I just about facepalmed. It's so obvious now!
Anyways, I couldn't find another topic for shadowselves and this topic was almost related. Sorry if I got off track.

I could say that I have NEVER dreamed of killing somebody or doing harm to someone intentionally, but when I start getting lucid, my wishes become very dark (not killing somebody, but other things that I am too ashamed of to say).

Lucid dreaming brings an other me, an ruthless and psychotic asshole that doesn't care about everyone else.

I don't know what would cause this mentality while lucid, because that's definitely not my real personality.

Once I had a dream about killing some guy (drowned him in a swamp), but I think there was a pretty justifiable reason for it.

Recently, though, I had a dream that started off with me choking the life out of this puppy. It felt really good in the dream, but when I woke up, I was kind of just...yeah.