Thread: Reason for my girlfriend's dreams about ex-boyfriends...

I don't see how you could get irritated by completely random acts of the subconscious. Since these are non ld's she has absolutley no say over what goes down in the dream world. So you shouldn't be getting irritated about it. If something ever happened to you or you ever experienced or have an idea of how something could happen. It will present itself to you in a dream.

Ever dreamed you saw the sun? Exactly it's a replication of an experience.

Now to put it in a different way. Has your girlfriend ever had another boyfriend? Well then chances are they could show themselves in a dream. Random acts based on previous experiences.

Yes but I already know about 4 dreams in 4 months... Isn't there something "bothering" her or causing her subconscious mind to be busy with her exes?

I don't want her to have these dreams once in a month for whole her life

I myself do almost never see girls from my past, and certainly not on a regular base...

It's possible that she's worried about the feelings of her exes. Maybe they didn't have closure? Maybe she didn't have it? It seems like something is bothering her about them. She may want to talk to someone, you and/or someone else she's close to, about her past relationships and see if she can figure out what's worrying her. I don't think it's something that'll get in between you two. It's likely just an unresolved issue she hasn't gotten past, mentally. I have dreams like that.

Originally Posted by Jadestar

It's possible that she's worried about the feelings of her exes. Maybe they didn't have closure? Maybe she didn't have it? It seems like something is bothering her about them. She may want to talk to someone, you and/or someone else she's close to, about her past relationships and see if she can figure out what's worrying her. I don't think it's something that'll get in between you two. It's likely just an unresolved issue she hasn't gotten past, mentally. I have dreams like that.

Sounds good.
But I have talked to her before about this. She honestly swears she has no feelings whatsoever for her ex boyfriends and that she is not missing them at all.
At most, maybe she compares her experiences with the new ones with me sometimes...

So I can not think of any "unresolved issue" that still occupy her mind...
Maybe worth mentioning that she is going to leave her homeland soon to live together with me in my country. (we are living together in her country now)
So there is a big "step" coming up and she could have fear about it, which is logical. She is coming for a future with me.
But do you think this could have had to anything with her dreams? That she is scared that it will end like their relationship? Or does she want to say goodbye to them? (symbolical)

Ideas?

Hmm. Well, when I grew up and moved out of my parents' house, I kept having dreams where I was still living with them and other dreams where I was driving away from their house for the first time, sometimes in a car, sometimes bus, sometimes F-16. Point is, I think it meant that I did not mentally finish growing up and breaking from them, and in a way I hadn't really left yet.

Of course my dreams were a bit more literal than usual. I think the fact that your girlfriend is leaving her country is an excellent explanation. Even though she does want to leave and be with you, she's still about to take a big step that would affect anyone no matter how much they want to leave home. I guess her exes are one of her links to her home country and a part of her doesn't want to leave. We all feel some ties to our homes, like I did, and it would take some time to adjust. She's probably just going through that, and it's showing up in her dreams. If so, she's also telling her dreams that yes, she really does want to be with you even though it means leaving what's familiar.

I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep the dialogue going. It's awesome you guys are talking about it.

Originally Posted by Frankiestein

Still I am irritated by all these dreams about them...

Does anybody have an idea?

And that is one of the reasons why I don't tell my husband ALL my dreams (I do tell him most) because there is no point in "irritating" or upsetting him with such things like dreaming about my ex, which happens every now and then.

I think it's wonderful you two have an open communication, but to share EVERYTHING, to be completely honest? "Complete" anything is just a bad idea, IMO, especially if it's going to make one person uncomfortable or "irritated", while the other person sees it as nothing.

I dream of the past often, whether it's being with my ex, or wandering the streets of my childhood home. The dreams about my ex are usually crazy...like, I'll be making dinner (in the dream) and realize I'm still with him, and then, get quite upset. Or, I'll wake up, roll over to give my hubby a kiss, and realize I'm lying in bed with my ex. The dreams mean nothing to me. Just my subconscious messing with me.

There could be many reasons why she has those dreams. Like her fear of something getting in the way of your relationship.

I wouldn't worry too much. She'll probably have those dreams 10 years from now. One learns to deal with them. They're annoying, but they're just dreams.

Just wait until she starts telling you dreams she's having about you leaving her, or cheating on her (which, in my case, are a fear of abandonment).