Thread: Oh, how I hate dream love

I sort of have the opposite going on there, really. For some reason, I have this strange obsession with Joan of Arc. I don't know why or how it started, but It was just BAM! One day, I couldn't stop thinking about her. The next minute, I had gone from atheist, to agnostic, to a believer on in this short time frame, and now I'm considering actually going to church too.

It's weird, because I've never been able to cry for my friends when someone they love has died, and I haven't even cried for myself when my dad died. I'm just not an emotional person. And yet, I felt this strange sense of loss and pain over what happened to Jehanne in her short lifetime. And despite that she's already long gone, I pray for her as well, as I ask her to pray for me.

So because of this strange and sudden event, I wish to explore it all in lucid dreaming. To see if I can actually meet with her and get the answers. I really don't know what to ask her, though. If I ever do get the honor of meeting her, I'd probably stand there staring like I did in my last semi-lucid dream in which I grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go because of my shock and awe.

Whether it's a case of me not knowing how to express the kind of spiritual love that would be present in heaven, or whether it's more of a case of her guiding me into a relationship with God through her (Like Saint Philomina, I don't know. But I do intend to get some answers in the dream world. I've just got to work on having a dream that lasts more than a minute.

Urgh.

I can't wait. But I feel like I'm getting closer.

Falling in love in dreams is one of my favorite things to do. I wish it would happen every night.

Being in a real relationship doesn't inhibit my dream love-life.

Joan of Arc? And it just happened out of the blue? Was it a certain picture that did it for you or just a realization? Mine is with Anne Frank (lol, go figure) and I have heard about her story tons of times and seen tons of pictures, but this one picture did it for me. Maybe its the camera angle or her disposition that reminds me so much of this dream character. The feeling has mostly subsided now, but it still lingers.

Moonbeam, you actually like that? You don't find it sad when you wake up to find out they don't exist?

It was just a sudden realization. The last time I'd thought of Joan of Arc was maybe three or four years ago when we did a brief study of her life in my Heroes and Villians class when I was still in school. I think about that time I also painted a picture of her. It's a pretty shitty one, actually. I intend to paint over it and make a better one.

But even back then, I didn't think much of it. It was just an "Oh, I can't think of anything else to do. I'll paint Jehanne" kind of thing. I knew a bit about her life before the H&V class, so I had no trouble studying her. I've always liked Jehanne, but it never really went anywhere in the past. She was definately one of my heroes, but I never thought about her.

Then one day, just out of the blue, I found myself thinking about her and what it would be like to meet her. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep for hours because I'd just stay up wondering things, without knowing why. So I started some heavy research into her life, and eventually turned her into a roleplay character in hopes that I'd just get over it through that. But Jehanne was extrodinarily hard to play, which was interesting. And it just didn't seem right to play her without having a proper knowledge of who she was annd what she believed in.

So I started to look up the basics of Catholic life. Keep in mind that I used to be one of those people that just laughed at it all, and thought that the whole concept of God was a stupid idea. I swore I'd never read the bible, and I thought mass must be one of the most boring things on earth. But after researching Jehanne and what she loved, I came to have this greater appreciation for what she believed. Then it got to the point where it felt like I was aching inside because I WASN'T at church and stuff.

I feel like there is this greater purpose out there now because of her. Like I'm supposed to do something more than just live, work and die in the one town.

And like I said, I've always been the tough one who never cried, but through prayer I found out about this gift of tears thing, which I'm still curious about. One minute I'm talking, and the next minute I'm crying. It's quite strange, but it feels good. It almost makes up for me not being able to go to church and stuff yet. I'm waiting on my friend to pay off his debts and move down here so we can attend RCIA together.

There was no particular picture or anything like that for me. It's actually extremely difficult to find a decent picture of Jehanne. The best one is probably of Leelee Sobieski playing the role of Jehanne. Milla Jovovich is way too over the top with her role, but Leelee gives off the same kind of feeling as what I got from my dream with Jehanne in it. And from what I've gleaned from extensive research, she looks much more like her anyway. Apparently Jehanne had a rounder, more pleasant face. Milla's is far too sharp.

I've actually drawn a picture of Jehanne from my dream. Although she came in Leelee's armor (as it is far more accurate than Milla's), her face was a bit different. It's kind of fuzzy, so I can't remember exact details, but I do remember that her eyes were very sharp, but kind. She also had this constant, knowing, amused smile upon her face. She never said a word to me in the entire dream in which I was stumbling over my own words, but she seemed to be very understanding.

For some reason, I was this bumbling male knight that wanted to join up and ride with her army, but I couldn't stop saying idiotic things to her that could have been taken as offensive. It was like a cross between Jean de Metz and Joxer the Mighty. I think I was all...

-Stare-.... O______O "Uh...er...Oh, I apologise. I don't mean to stare. It's just that...I've...never seen a woman in armor before. Not that that's a bad thing! Um....I...OH! Let me help you down from your horse!"

And that was the point where I grabbed her hand, and it felt SOmuch more real. I could feel how hard and cool the armor was upon her forearm, and the shape of it, even though I'd never grabbed anything like armor in my life. And once my hand moved down to her own ( which was covered in a black leather glove and shielded by the mitten style of gauntlet), I could feel how warm and strong it was.

I knew I was dreaming, but I just seemed to accept it all as reality anyway. But I'd sort of been daydreaming, so by that time she was starting to get down off the horse. I'd forgotten to let go, though, so we were having this tug of war. Which she won, of course. She got down off the other side of the horse, and I'm like O_O! "Oh! Sorry" and eventually let go of her hand once she was staring across the saddle at me with this grin on her face.

She seemed to take my idiocy all in stride, though. She was very understanding. After she'd gotten down and I had that last look at her, the dream ended, unfortunately.

So here's the picture of her that I drew like maybe a month or so after I'd had the dream. The eyes are a bit too big and dreamy. Hers were very focused and sharp. That's one of the main things I remember about her. The smile was almost a little more turned up and amused as well, but either way....She's pretty. =D





Another thing about Jehanne is that she is actually quite serious, but at the same time, she's rather funny. I do this thing called automatic writing, and I decided to try it out on her. I'm known for making jokes, and I always playfully rib her with jokes such as this...



And so she decided to get her own back in a conversation. She has a hard time writing so that I can understand her, so instead I use automatic art. Which is like writing, only she will draw a picture for me to look up an entry in my dream dictionary to understand the meaning of what she is trying to say. And after a very successful run with several images, I think she decided to have a little fun, rib me in return, and show a bit of humor as a sort of reward for me for taking the time to listen and understand.

She drew a picture of my brother, which I recognised immediately by the long, dark hair. And the following conversation took place...

Me: "Oh, is that my brother?"
Jehanne: "Yes."
Me: "What about him? Will something happen?"
Jehanne: "He is my honey. Men are good."
Me: "Wait, what? Honey? As in sweetie?"
Jehanne: "Yes."
Me: "YOU LIKE MY BROTHER?!" [Insert shock and horror, and a bit of jealousy.]
Jehanne: "Yes."
Me: "You can't be serious. Are you joking?"
Jehanne: "Haha. Yes. I am just joking."


Yeah, she really got me good on that one. =/ I deserved it though. All the marshmallow jokes I was making. I was starting to think that she was either going completely bonkers, was blind, or had really bad taste in men.

(She probably could have done a Rapunzel with my brother's hair to get into Orléans if he had existed back then. Either that, or just batter the English down with his huge nose.)

She's certainly not afraid to point out when I'm being arrogant about my spirituality or taking my gifts for granted, either. She corrects me a lot with the images to look up when I think I know what she's on about, so I thank her for that.

Anyway, I've probably rambled on too much. I'll end it here for now, unless anyone has any more questions.

I've sort of done that. I had a romantic dream with someone I knew at school that I had no feelings for IRL. When I woke up, I didn't feel weird about it. I just kind of missed the feeling. I'd like to have that again, it was nice.

Originally Posted by Funnel

Moonbeam, you actually like that? You don't find it sad when you wake up to find out they don't exist?

Just for a little bit. It's worth it. It wasn't real anyway, so it's not like you're actually losing anything, and you get to have the fun parts. I did tell one particular DC that I'd be back again, and I really meant it at the time, but I haven't managed it yet.

Dream love can be a complicated emotion, and it's different from person to person. I fell 'in love' with one of my dream characters who, similar to your experience, seemed to remind me of someone I know in waking life. It was a great dream, very romantic. When I woke up, I was very sad that such a perfect thing had to end. But I think it makes it more special, in a way.

well without doubt these dreams are by far the best that are out there, well atleast that what I think

Like moonbeam says its best to enjoy them because they are not real but dam are they good whilst they last

Yes, I've fallen in "love" and other things along that line.

Very sad dreams they were, but it was good while it lasted. Although, I wonder, it felt good ion the dream, but was it worth the sadness afterwards? Meh, this is one of the reasons why I wish I could dream forever. :p

Mhm. That part is sad. But it does give you a goal to complete when you have a lucid dream, and keeps you focused - finding/creating them again. But yeah, I wish I could dream forever as well.

Maybe we'll get lucky when we die, and the afterlife is just one big lucid dream. Oh, if only.

Originally Posted by Noske

Mhm. That part is sad. But it does give you a goal to complete when you have a lucid dream, and keeps you focused - finding/creating them again. But yeah, I wish I could dream forever as well.

Maybe we'll get lucky when we die, and the afterlife is just one big lucid dream. Oh, if only.

Or better yet, if the dream becomes reality.

I think...if my dreams become reality...um...

<_< Well...


Saint Jehanne might want to strip off that armor and become a long distance runner. Because I'm never going to leave her alone. xD

I've been in love in dreams many times, but it's mostly a sexual connection. This is probably due to my raging hormones, but love nonetheless lol.

i also hate dream love, theres a person who i really liked that mooved away and i often use my dreams to see her again, its nice to see her but im sure it is probobly not a healthy thing to use dreams to escape reality :s

i know what you mean when you wake up and find out it was all fake... it's the worst feeling in the world

Originally Posted by thisismylogin

i know what you mean when you wake up and find out it was all fake... it's the worst feeling in the world

You are so right.

and it so much easier to love in your dream...
also Alex... i love the DP

There's this girl who shows up in my dreams sometimes, and I am certainly in love with her. I wish so much for her to be real. In my dreams, if I ask her if she's real, she becomes upset and sometimes even starts to cry. It gives me that feeling that maybe she isn't just a creation of my mind. But if I start believing my dream characters are real people, I think that would mean I've gone crazy.

There is also a friend of mine who I have romantic dreams about, but we had never had any sort of feelings like that in real life at that point. Afterwards, I started to pay more attention to him, and flirt with him more, and I am starting to love him for real now. And at one time, things almost happened, but afterwards it was a bit awkward, because I have a boyfriend, and he is friends with my boyfriend.