Beating somone up in my dream?

Hi, so I'm new here because I've had this strange dream and it's not going off my mind.

In the dream, I was walking out of my school and as I left I saw this girl who I know quite well, playing football for my school. I walked across the pitch to head out but the ball was tangled in my feet so I tried passing it back cooly, but I stumbled out of my school with the ball. The girl followed me and did some mocking hand gesture, not offensive but it was mocking me directly. I jumped through the air and crushed her across the fence. I shouted some stuff in her face like "Just becayse you play for Southend, doesn't mean you're better than me". There was also something along the lines of "You understand?". I then kicked her and punched her, slapped her in the face while I was saying this. She then ran out of the school and I shouted F*** incredibly loudly and kept repeating it. I think I was regretting it as this point but also I was anxious.

Some information about me: I'm a transguy so I do play for a girls team, football is my main hobby. I have had some jealous feelings as she got into a team you have to trial for even though I know she's not excellent at playing. She's a little bit taller than me but overall I'd say I'm more aggresive than her. Currently, I'm struggling with an ridiculous amount of health anxiety for fear of a brain tumour, I'm starting to recover from that now though so I'm exhausted. The team I play for now is a good team, we even play against her team but I am finding it hard to fit in to this team, I don't have friends within it and I suffer from considerable social anxiety.

I'm trying to figure it out because it's really bothering me. I hope I've given enough information. Any ideas?

I believe this is trying to show you that you are fighting so hard in your waking life to get those around you to see you the way that you want. That you feel like this is a "constant struggle", and you might be feeling a little judged.

Dreams of fighting are often when we are feeling very fed up in our waking life. I have experienced a lot of them when I am in situations that don't seem fair, or that I have things that I am working so hard for. This is your subconscious saying that you need to deal with these frustrations. Get down to why it is that you feel the way that you do, and who around you that make it worse. (My guess would be this girl in particular).

Remember, you can't be wrong when it comes to you. You are the person that lives with yourself every moment of every day, and you are the one that has to live with yourself at the end of every day. This girl doesn't matter, what matters is what you see when you look in the mirror. Do you love yourself? Do you feel like you stand up for yourself enough? Do you feel like you are having to fight for yourself too much?

If you feel like you don't stand up enough for yourself; then this dream is warning that you might want to find more constructive ways to stand up for yourself. You are feeling beaten, and you don't want to "blow up". Learn to care for yourself, and constructively fight for you. If this is true I would recommend some self help programs, or therapy if you do not feel like you can do it on your own. Counselors are often great (less expensive help) that can are great at helping figure out who you are as a person. There are even people who are specifically made to help people with self esteem issues, and know wonderful techniques in getting wonderful self pride. You are a wonderful person! You should love you, and if you don't have your back who will!

If you feel like you are always fighting for yourself; this would be like if you felt like you were always standing up for yourself, and you aren't afraid to talk up (because of the social anxiety I don't believe this is it). Then, this dream would signify the fact that you feel like you are the only person that has your own back. Your constant strife in life is coming into you dream world.

Again though, I believe it is more of the first option. SO....


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Also I know that I didn't touch the fact that you are trans-gendered. I don't believe this is something that defines you, just as I don't believe that "woman" defines me. I am so much more than just as woman, just as you are so much more than trans-gendered. I do not believe that sex organs are something that define us, but something that we give definition to. So, just live how you are the most happy, and be confident in that decision. Its very empowering. :)

I hope this helps. :)

Thankyou for your reply. It actually makes a lot of sense and I will bring this up in my next counselling session probably. Thanks for your reply :)