Thread: I am a shaman

I do not know exactly where to post this thread so I hope I am in the right area.
Unlike most of my threads this one is not really up for discussion.

It is who I am. It is what I was called to and answered to.
I didn't make this thread as something to brag on, or some other bullshit.

It's something I never wanted. It's something I hated going through.
It's something I hate now, and honestly I drink to get rid of it.
I don't want to be this, but I don't have a choice.
It might seem odd and whiny that I would make this but understand.
It's something I was bred for my whole life. and my teacher, my grandmother has dementia now. She has had it for a few years now.
So almost nothing she says makes sense but.... when my girlfriend talks to her or when I talk to her she's just her old self again.
No-one can get the same response. It makes me sad, the women I learned everything from now doesn't even know her own name.

But when we talk to her, it's Jason I need you to do this or Vanessa, watch over him and make sure he's okay.
Her willpower as her mind is becoming a tar pit is unbelievably sad and inspiring.

She raised me to look after my family, the ones who I worked for day after day, ones who still won't accept me.
She raised me to look after my people, the ones I toiled beside, day after day, ones who still think they are better than me.
She raised me to look beyond what our mortal shell could offer, and how to talk to ourselves, and our people.
How to inspire and Raise them, How to love them.
She was the one who showed me how to love these people
Whether it is the people I live with, or the people I work with.
They become my community.
When I go to class I become the voice of the class.

I visit my brother in laws church too bask in thier worship to the divine.
The spirits don't care how you praise them.
Only, look inside yourself and know.

I know I am a Shaman.
I know I will always have people to lead.
I know that burden will fall upon my shoulder.
And I wake up every day to it, and cry for myself.
I hate it, I hate everything about it, I wish I didn't have to.
But it's something I accepted and something I WILL do.

Because I AM a modern day Shaman, and we all need people like me to continue. Or else none of us would matter.