Disclaimer:
- This is not a discussion about homosexuals but about homophobes. I don't want us to discuss the legality of marriage or if homosexuality is okay or not. I am for the legalization of same-sex marriage and for the respect and equality of all people. That is not the matter at hand.
- This is also not a discussion about the behaviour of homophobes such as whether or not they indulge in visible discrimination but about what they feel and what they think.


I know many homophobes that I love dearly. They are good people. But as our society becomes more open minded, I am disappointed to see that the hate is simply shifting towards the other group. (I think the main message, is there should be no hate, no disappointment in other's perspective, only interest).

So, this is for pro-choice people, so they can understand homophobes. First, you must understand these principles (bold) and exercises (italic):

1. Caring
Pro-choice people often make the remark "I don't care what another person does." That is a statement of indifference, of lack of interest, the opposite of love. A loving person would be interested in a person's feelings and what they do.

Thought exercise (Really do put yourself in the scenario, as a loving parent):
You are a parent and you have a daughter. You love her. She's your daughter. Do you want her to become a prostitute? No. You learn she is a prostitute. Do you stop loving her. No. Do you have a serious conversation with her, hoping that she can consider other options. Many would say yes. A lot of people, however, will act very emotionally in this situation and might forget to give loving support, instead they might speak angrily or in a panicky manner because of their fears.

2. Innate Disgust
People have an innate disgust for homosexuality. If you don't happen to experience this, follow the following exercise:
I'm not gonna make it hard. Think of incest. Think of you and your sibling. You and one of your parents (in the context of consenting adults who are in love... or just looking for casual sex or romance). Now, as a parent, do you want your children to grow up to marry each other and have kids together. You would still love them, but it feels wrong. And it matters to you, because you love them.

So this explains it. Homophobes are people who care and feel an innate disgust for homosexuals. I am curious as to why people feel this disgust, is it because, like direct family, we think of each other as too much the same? "That's my sister! We're the same family! I couldn't love her like that! Ew!"... "That's another male just like me! I couldn't love him like that! Ew!"

Now... do homophobes have a responsibility to come to terms with this disgust? To embrace the possibilities of desire and to not feel that disgust anymore. Remember that here, I am talking about a respectful homophobe who doesn't discriminate against homosexuals but just can't find it in themselves to accept it in themselves. This discussion is important because society should not be saying "hey, people can do what they want, I don't care. I'm not them. Legalize everything so people can do everything. This is not something that affects me!"; society should be saying "I love my neighbors and I care about their decisions and their lives. Their love is like mine. I can feel it's beauty!"

How do people get over the disgust they have for people with atypical orientations such as homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality (The two last ones do not refer to those who act out their desire but who are victims of those desires and have the strength not to act them out). Let's say your brother is a pedophile. And you love this brother. He's a good person. Can you get rid of that disgust? Is this disgust the innate mechanism that is in place to prevent us from having that orientation? Is everyone technically bisexual, but some part of our brain is closed minded and disgusted by the other gender making us heterosexual? I don't think that's it at all but they're all questions worth thinking about.

Second disclaimer: I am sorry that I used the word disgust because it can be offensive. Don't be offended. I love sushi. I think sushi is awesome. But many people I know say it is disgusting. (I thought it was disgusting the first time too.)