I like violent video games but I'm a big softie really You may be mistaking competitiveness for aggressiveness, a lot of people get competitive about those games in the same way people can get competitive about any other game, which can look like they're about to blow a gasket even if it's fishing or soccer or something.
That being said I think it's a bad idea to let psychotic people play violent video games 
EDIT: Reading the OP again, I would much like to know what you mean by people getting "caught up in their anger" and turning "downright nasty". I have just never had that experience and I've played a lot of violent video games with a lot of people. I've seen people get frustrated and I've seen some really competitive people, but I've never played games with anyone who undergoes such a transformation while playing the games, a transformation into someone I would worry about or be afraid of.
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