Thread: New Moon

The definition does not apply. The story does not work out that way. The protagonist runs up against equally capable foes.

This was so hilarious, from MLIA.

Yesterday, I went to the New Moon premiere. Right as the movie was about to end my friend runs up to the screen and screams " I'm really happy for you New Moon and I'm gonna let you finish but Harry Potter was the best movie of all time" and then ran through the emergency exit. New Best Friend Ever. MLIA

Originally Posted by Xox

This was so hilarious, from MLIA.

(quote)

That sounds mean. =(

Originally Posted by Hidden

That sounds mean. =(

Haha, yeah. It is amusing though. I'm so tempted to do it.

Originally Posted by Xox

This was so hilarious, from MLIA.

I'm dying! Dying!




I want to meet that person.

I say let the fangirls enjoy their bad movies in peace. Everyone already knows that hp wins by a landslide.

I saw New Moon yesterday. It was better than Twilight, which, imo, was one long awkward moment. Also better than I expected it to be (my standards were pretty low), considering I hated reading New Moon. They cut out a lot of the moping, which was good.

YOU PUCKING SERIOUS?
Whoa. Bragging rights with my friends. I wonder which part he'll be in. I'm not seeing New moon, caus I aint goin with mah mom (she says thats the only way I'll go, WTF) and none of my friends never got together to go (they all went by themselves. more wtf)

But yeah, that's EPIC!

Originally Posted by Invader

The definition does not apply. The story does not work out that way. The protagonist runs up against equally capable foes.

I'm beginning to wonder if you even know just what qualities define a Mary Sue. Just because they, at one point, come across someone who can match them, doesn't mean they're not the very epitome of Mary Sue/Gary Stu...especially if they end up beating these foes anyway.

Truth be told, I've only seen a few scenes from the first movie - most of which were godawful (like the piano scene...beautifully executed cliché, btw) - before giving up entirely on the series...but the observations of those who have read the books/seen the movies in their entirety seem to confirm my stance on these bland characters:

Spoiler for The truth about Twilight...:

I think that Twilight is simply Stephenie Meyer's personal fantasy. [Yes, it is - that's part of what Mary-Sueness is all about.] The only flaw which Bella has is her clumsiness and this really isn't meant to be a major flaw. It's just supposed to be cute [thereby making her a Mary Sue]. Edward's only flaw is his overreactions. Other than that he's perfect, and this makes him a Gary Stu in my opinion. [Try not to confuse the terms "opinion" and "fact based on observation". That usually gets people.]

Never mind that Bella is actually a spineless idiot and Edward a creepy control-freak - Meyer intended for them both to come across as unbelievably perfect. We hear repeatedly about Edward's stunning good looks. We hear that he is talented at everything from driving to composing music. Bella says, and Meyer clearly believes, that he is the archetypal gentleman, although it's easy to see he's not. As for Bella, everyone is fascinated by her - the guys all want to date her; the girls all want to be her friend - even though that's *never* what happens when new people who are supposedly plain and shy come to school. She's supposed to be kind and selfless and caring and intelligent, with this one cutesy little flaw. Actually, Meyer claims that Bella's biggest flaw is her lack of self-awareness, or something - meaning she's modest, basically. Again, we know she's not, but the whole thing just screams "Mary Sue". In Breaking Dawn the Mary Sue-ness goes off the scale.

Seriously, the author herself has stated that she wrote this series to fulfill a "fantasy" of hers. /gag

The Number of Times...

• Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
• Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
• Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
• Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
• Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
• Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
  • Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
• Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
• Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5 (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
• Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
• Edward Sparkles: 3
• Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
  • Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
• Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2 (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
• Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
• Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
• Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0

I would have kept track of how many times Edward's mood shifts unexpectedly and for no reason, but I didn't have that much paper. I am sad, though, that I didn't keep track of how many times words like "granite," "stone," and "marble" are used in reference to Edward. His arms, his lips. Explain to me how kissing cold, marble lips is at all appealing. And yet it makes Bella faint. I give up.


Lines That Made Me Laugh Out Loud Because...Well, You'll See:

I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious.

Note: Unless I say otherwise, just assume such sentiments are referring to Edward in all his glory.

He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.

Incandescent. Scintillating. The adjectives in this book cracked me up. Because he sparkles!

The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence.

Paled! Is that a joke? Oh, she's serious? I was afraid of that.

As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water.

This to me was the most disturbing aspect of Edward's inhuman perfection. It's just weird. And gross. And weird.

Edward: "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

Um, Ed, babe? You were seventeen when you were turned. I highly doubt those "hungers" were foreign to you.

I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.

He pressed his cool lips to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think.

Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted.

He leaned in slowly, the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether.

...EDWARD KISSES HER AND HER HEART LITERALLY STOPS. I just...I don't even know what to do with this. Other than laugh hysterically while I beat my head against the table.

Note: Also, I think the funniest thing in the world would be if Edward actually ate Bella. I'd, like, frame that passage. Sadly, at the end of the series, I have the feeling Bella will have yet another tragic accident, only this time, the only way Edward will be able to save her is to turn her into a vampire - just as she's always wanted! And I will mourn the death of teen literature.

I'm just not sure how it is that you can continue to deny the facts that are staring you right in the face. Even Stephen King - Stephen. Fucking. King. - had this to say of Meyer:

Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephanie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.

Yeah. Do with that what you will, but I've made up my mind without even having to read the books (mere excerpts are more than enough proof for me): Twilight is balls.

Thanks for playing, good night everybody!

Originally Posted by Lëzen

I'm beginning to wonder if you even know just what qualities define a Mary Sue. Just because they, at one point, come across someone who can match them, doesn't mean they're not the very epitome of Mary Sue/Gary Stu...especially if they end up beating these foes anyway.

Truth be told, I've only seen a few scenes from the first movie - most of which were godawful (like the piano scene...beautifully executed cliché, btw) - before giving up entirely on the series...but the observations of those who have read the books/seen the movies in their entirety seem to confirm my stance on these bland characters:

Yeah. Do with that what you will, but I've made up my mind without even having to read the books (mere excerpts are more than enough proof for me): Twilight is balls.

Thanks for playing, good night everybody!

Even though you're done, I thought you might like this:

Spoiler for something from the last book:

Throughout the series Bella has been painted as a clutz, she even has horrible handwriting. Once she becomes a vampire Edward says that she is graceful, even for a vampire.

Originally Posted by Lëzen

I'm beginning to wonder if you even know just what qualities define a Mary Sue. Just because they, at one point, come across someone who can match them, doesn't mean they're not the very epitome of Mary Sue/Gary Stu...especially if they end up beating these foes anyway.

A character that is conveniently more powerful than everything they face in
the story? Is that not what a Godmode Mary Sue is? Also, I remember a few
instances in which the protagonists were let go on the conditions of said
foes. You may have to offer a better explanation of what a Mary Sue is. I've
never heard the term prior to your bringing it up.

I'm just not sure how it is that you can continue to deny the facts that are staring you right in the face.

What is it we're arguing? I'm pretty sure you only meant to insinuate that
the Twilight vampires were lame because they glittered. All I mentioned was
that they also possessed greater power than the classic vampire, and if I got
to choose between one or the other, I'd obviously go for the more powerful.
You assumed I was arguing for the story's superiority.

About what Stephen King said.. That's fantastic. Stephen King was made my
favorite writer by the Dark Tower series, though that's entirely irrelevant.
Nowhere did I claim that Twilight was a work of art. If our discussion is only
about what a Mary Sue is, just provide me with a better explanation.
I'm only denying you based on my current understanding of what it is.

Twilight: New Fag .

dun dun dunnnnnn.

-patience

I have great news for anyone who hates Twilight Vampires...

THEY ARE MAKING NECROSCOPE MOVIES! From the Brian Lumley books, baddest ass vampires in existence. WHen they screw a girl, their unit can expand to fill every crevice.

Not much info on it yet, but it's happening! Happy days!

omg CB is stud muffin. I can totally tell someone I know him

Originally Posted by Invader

About what Stephen King said.. That's fantastic.

Yes. Yes it is. =)

I actually like the twiligtt series, but before I was (became a fan between new moon and twilight movies), I thought it looked stupid. I still kinda think they're all Mary sues. But hey, I love a good romance, and Ima teenage girl, so I'm all gaga over Taylor lautner. Gotta problem with that? 6000 teenage girls would kick your @$$, lmao

edit: if your worth too much for the noob speech, what I'm saying is that twilight is just a freakin book on a shelf. So is Harry potter, and they just happen to have movies.