Weapons of Mass Zombie Destruction

**Royalpeach** · 11-15-2009 08:49 PM

An alien species has released a virus upon our world that destroys the human logic center in the brain. In other words, everyone's a zombie who wants to eat you. You saw the alien ships approach and locked yourself in an airtight bunker you had installed in your basement (just in case). Three days later, the virus has died, but its effects have remained in the virus' hosts.

You're hungry. You need food and water. You emerge from your bunker to raid a nearby grocery store. Of course, you're not going to go unarmed. What weapon do you use to fight off the mutants?

**Lulian** · 11-15-2009 10:19 PM

An M1 carbine and machete as suggested by The Zombie Survival Guide.

**J.D.** · 11-15-2009 10:21 PM

Katana all the way. Deadly, no ammo concerns, and quiet - so if you slice up a zombie, the others won't hear and come running.

**mini0991** · 11-15-2009 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

An alien species has released a virus upon our world that destroys the human logic center in the brain.

Are you sure this is fictional?

**Sora** · 11-16-2009 01:32 AM

Originally Posted by mini0991

Are you sure this is fictional?

Rofl, swine flu yo.

a Shovel is such a great weapon but not lethal enough, so I'd go with this

**LucidFlanders** · 11-16-2009 02:00 AM

What is in the surrounding area of the inside bunker i can use to kill these things? Hopefully not a staple gun, because i wont go very far on that.

If i am leaving the bunker, i am not leaving without a weapon, there could be tons on my lawn. Perhaps i have a lawnmower i can sit on and drive with the blades killing these, but now that i think about it, the blades will probably break at 1, they are not suitable for slicing people open. I need more specifics.

**guitarboy** · 11-16-2009 02:10 AM

rigor mortis would dramatically slow them down, so I'd bring a shotgun and a machete. Oh, and a hammer.

**Universal Mind** · 11-16-2009 03:39 AM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

You emerge from your bunker to raid a nearby grocery store. Of course, you're not going to go unarmed. What weapon do you use to fight off the mutants?

No weapon at all for me. I am against violence.

**Oneironaut Zero** · 11-16-2009 01:38 PM

In case of zombie apocalypse...

**Royalpeach** · 11-16-2009 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by LucidFlanders

What is in the surrounding area of the inside bunker i can use to kill these things? Hopefully not a staple gun, because i wont go very far on that.

If i am leaving the bunker, i am not leaving without a weapon, there could be tons on my lawn. Perhaps i have a lawnmower i can sit on and drive with the blades killing these, but now that i think about it, the blades will probably break at 1, they are not suitable for slicing people open. I need more specifics.

The zombies were too stupid to open the latch on your tool shed, so you have access to all the gardening tools and landscape maintenance you'll need. Likewise, most of your house was untouched by the zombies, but a large horde raided your kitchen through an open window.

As for myself, I'd go World War II on those maggot asses and pull out the PPSH-41 I have in my garage. (My grandfather smuggled one and 5,000 rounds of ammo back

) Eventually, that'd run out, of course. I'd pull out my favorite machete and clear a path. And, if I needed a big area cleared, I'm sure I could put together a dozen fertilizer bombs

**Royalpeach** · 11-16-2009 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

No weapon at all for me. I am against violence.

So you'd let yourself starve and/or be eaten alive by zombies? I respect your philosophy, but in some cases, there are no alternatives to violence.

**guitarboy** · 11-16-2009 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

So you'd let yourself starve and/or be eaten alive by zombies? I respect your philosophy, but in some cases, there are no alternatives to violence.

It would be that hard to hide from them-if you have a good stronghold, that is.

**Universal Mind** · 11-17-2009 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

So you'd let yourself starve and/or be eaten alive by zombies? I respect your philosophy, but in some cases, there are no alternatives to violence.

Violence never solves anything.

**Royalpeach** · 11-17-2009 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

Violence never solves anything.

I'm pretty sure it'd solve your problem of being killed.

**Universal Mind** · 11-17-2009 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

I'm pretty sure it'd solve your problem of being killed.

I'm totally playing around. I know violence is sometimes necessary. I was just being satirical and getting my kicks being ironic because I have done so much debating on this site, pretty much me vs. everybody else participating, for U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan and other U.S. war efforts. Every now and then, somebody new takes issue with my satire and debates it without knowing my post history. I always run with it.

**mini0991** · 11-17-2009 10:14 PM

Everybody knows there is only one weapon that could defeat zombies.

**Kromoh** · 11-17-2009 11:53 PM

I'd hypnotize everyone.

**The Cusp** · 11-18-2009 01:57 AM

An old fashioned mace. You can swing it fast, it does massive head trauma, and doesn't run out of ammo. And if they're slow zombies it's like playing whack-a-mole!

**Royalpeach** · 11-19-2009 01:32 AM

Originally Posted by The Cusp

An old fashioned mace. You can swing it fast, it does massive head trauma, and doesn't run out of ammo. And if they're slow zombies it's like playing whack-a-mole!

I, too, would prefer a nice, reliable manual weapon that doesn't have any ammo needs. But don't you think it would get kind of tiring if you had to clear a room of zombies with a mace? Like I said, I'd rather have something a little lighter.

**The Cusp** · 11-19-2009 04:05 PM

I'm talking from experience. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago where I was bashing in zombies with a mace. (Had been playing D@D online, using a mace for my mage). The speed and versatility the mace allowed was better than anything I've ever used on zombies before. And I've smashed zombies in the head with everything, sledge hammers, normal hammers, crowbars, axes, hatchets, machetees, rocks, table legs, metal pipes, fire pokers... I'll take a mace any day!

**LucidFlanders** · 11-20-2009 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by Royalpeach

The zombies were too stupid to open the latch on your tool shed, so you have access to all the gardening tools and landscape maintenance you'll need. Likewise, most of your house was untouched by the zombies, but a large horde raided your kitchen through an open window.

As for myself, I'd go World War II on those maggot asses and pull out the PPSH-41 I have in my garage. (My grandfather smuggled one and 5,000 rounds of ammo back

) Eventually, that'd run out, of course. I'd pull out my favorite machete and clear a path. And, if I needed a big area cleared, I'm sure I could put together a dozen fertilizer bombs

In that case i'll grab a hoe as my short ranger, and break the end of the rake and break some glass to sharpen it into a spear since i got no knife. Don't know much about gardening or landscaping so that's all i'll equip myself with. I guess i can try and make a dagger using glass as the blade for close range stabbing along side my hoe. I'll use Gardening gloves as my protection against the glass. Last thing i need is zombie aids...

**Royalpeach** · 11-20-2009 11:16 PM

Never thought about using a hoe... pretty smart! That'd make a nice head basher!

**Supernova** · 11-20-2009 11:30 PM

easy...doom shotgun + idkfa

Seriously, though, whatever assult rifle I could get my hands on, preferably one that would allow me to carry a good amount of ammo, whithout sacrificing on accuracy too much, plus a katana. Unless I get swarmed really bad, the katana would suffice for most situations.