Thread: Chuck Norris facts

When Tom started MySpace, he got Chuck Norris as his first friend.

Vin Diesel beats Chuck Norris any day of the week.


Evolution doesn't exist; Vin Diesel decides which animals live and die.

Rearrange "Vin Diesel", and you get "I End Lives".

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.

Originally Posted by Pensive Patrick

Vin Diesel beats Chuck Norris any day of the week.


Evolution doesn't exist; Vin Diesel decides which animals live and die.

Rearrange "Vin Diesel", and you get "I End Lives".

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.

Somehow that was pretty funny.

The whole Chuck Norris fad started with Vin Diesel, Chuck just came more popular.

Originally Posted by AmazeO XD

Somehow that was pretty funny.

LMFAO. I agree. I usually find most of these "____ is uber because" jokes pretty lame (not really because they're all stupid...just a bit clich&#233 but some of those were hilarious.

I especially liked "Rearrange 'Vin Diesel', and you get "I End Lives." LOL. Genius.

[Edit: And I just noticed the avatar, Elis D. Win.]

mm, I have heard all of those Vin Deisel ones but with Chuck Norris on them instead. Except the rearranging name one of course. I dont really like Vin Diesel or Chuck, but its fun to make the exagerrated claims

Al Gore invented the environment, enough said.

Oh, and God wanted to create the universe in 10 days, Chuck Norris gave him 6

Originally Posted by HyperNova

Oh, and God wanted to create the universe in 10 days, Chuck Norris gave him 6

I think that's the best one I've seen yet.

Originally Posted by HyperNova

Al Gore invented the environment, enough said.

He is also the Oscar winning inventor of the internet and the real president of the United States.

It is amazing what Democrats can do to the public image of a total douchebag.

Originally Posted by AmazeO XD

Somehow that was pretty funny.

They were all originally Chuck Norris ones, that's why.

When Chuck Norris approaches a stop sign, it turns green and reads 'GO'.

-VF

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag women; he potato sacks them.

Lance Armstrong and Chuck Norris had a bet going about who had the most balls. Chuck won by 7.

Did you know Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer? Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry; ever.

Originally Posted by Elis D.

I'll go do that. But Chuck Norris gets no respect, he supports Huckabee.

Your new avatar totally makes up for your complaint. And you are right about the Huckabee point. A solid comeback to any Chuck Norris joke is, "Chuck Norris supports Huckabee."

Originally Posted by Pensive Patrick

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.

I got an extra big kick out of that one.

This is pretty stupid. Sorry. But I really don't get why people di*k ride chuck norris so much.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

This is pretty stupid. Sorry. But I really don't get why people di*k ride chuck norris so much.

If only that was possible, it would reduce pollution so much.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

This is pretty stupid. Sorry. But I really don't get why people di*k ride chuck norris so much.

Woes, Jeff. I think you took a wrong turn and ended up at the wrong house. What you need to do is go down the street and take your first left and then turn right into this driveway...

http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=40984

Second

chuck lost his virginity before his dad did.

I LOVE CHUCK NORRIS JOKES!!!!


Do you have more?