Thread: Favourite Movie/tv Quotes

Put some of your favourite quotes from movies or even TV shows here. I'll start with one, more later.

Define Irony; A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane, to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. - Garlend Green from Con Air, commenting on the Convicts dancing to "Sweet Home Alabama"

Off topic, but did anyone think it was funny when Kentucky Fried Chicken ran commercials with "Sweet Home Alabama" as their background music?

Mrs. Tarantino: Are you the police?
Elwood: No, ma'am. We're musicians.
-The Blues Brothers

"I didnt have any corn!!!" - Fat Bastard, Austin powers Goldmember

"I went deep last night.....deep."
- Thomas Hayden Church, Sideways

Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias Fünke: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias Fünke: It's out of context.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator: ...and he realized there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias Fünke: Tobias, you blowhard.
[chuckles]

Here are some from my absolute favourite show, House:

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

Dr. Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And triteness kicks us in the nads.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.

Dr. Wilson: You really don't need to know everything about everybody.
Dr. Gregory House: I don't *need* to watch The O.C., but it makes me happy.

Chris Dewey: (trying to tell an uninterested House a patient's history) You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: And you're drawing attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
(she covers her chest with her clipboard)
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious" contest. I'm competitive by nature.

Dr. Gregory House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?

Cuddy: "Why did you."
House: "Why does a dog lick its workplace-acceptable euphemism for testicles?"

Foreman: “I had a date last night. She screamed too. You think we should spend a hundred thousand dollars testing her?”
House: “Of course not. This isn’t a veterinary hospital. Zing!”

Chase – "If she's never kissed a boy, it's a fair bet she's never had sex."
House – "Tell that to all the hookers who won't kiss me on the mouth."

Cameron – "Could pain medication cause an orgasm?"
House – "I wish."
(House is a Vicodin Addict)

Dr. House:"Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your wife is having an affair."
Patient:"What?!"
Dr. House:"You're orange, you moron. And it's one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention."

Jack: "I don't want to hear semantics."
House: "You anti-semantic bastard."

Dr. House:"How are we doing on cotton swabs today? If there's a critical shortage, I could run home."
Dr. Cuddy: (looks at House's leg)"No you couldn't."
Dr. House:"Nice."

Dr. House - "I assume ‘minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying ‘no chance in hell.'"
Chase:"Actually, I'm Australian."
Dr. House:"You put the Queen on your money, you're British."

Foreman:"You assaulted that man!"
House:"Fine. I'll never do it again."
Foreman:"Yes you will."
House:"All the more reason this debate is pointless."

Cuddy:"I need you to wear your lab coat."
House:"I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age."

Dr. Cameron:"Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six-foot-long hose shoved into your large intestine?"
Dr. House:"No, but I now have a much greater respect for whichever basketball player you dated in college"

"Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree."

"Like I always say, there's no ‘I' in team. There's a ‘me,' though, if you jumble it up."

"I'm extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce."

"Candy canes? Are you trying to mock me?"

"Her leg hurts after running six miles. Who knows? Could be anything."

"I'm a really good secret keeper. I've never told anybody Wilson wets his bed."

"Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks."

"Awesome. A sex fiend with a swollen tongue. Think of all the places I can make Foreman search."

"You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a... I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor."

"Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good."

“Go up his rear and get a smear. Which reminds me, kinda feel like a bagel.”

"Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"



And one of my personal favourites:



"The great thing about telling somebody they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for."



There are many, many more. But the list is long enough

From "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" (see my sig):

The twins take a Japanese singer (who is scheduled to sing at a convention at the hotel) to school for a project on interational studies. They get separated at the school, and the twins return to the hotel without her...

Zack: We kinda lost her.

Mr. Moesby: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN!!?

Cody: You forget to cherish her.

Carrie: Awww, that's my little man!

Back To The Future
Doc: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

Fight Club
Narrator: This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

Clerks
Dante Hicks: My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
Customer: In a row?

I Heart Huckabees
Albert: How am I not myself?

Kill Bill Vol. 1
O-ren Ishii: As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your f*cking head. Just like this f*cker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f*cking time!

Pulp Fiction
Vincent Vega: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." ~ Maximus - Gladiator

40 year old virgin:

"She's a hot grandma."

"Heck, yeah. No, do a grandma, man. You should fuck her on her plastic-covered couch. Fuck her while she watches Murder, She Wrote. She would probably find that very erotic. Fuck her and then have her send you a cheque for $12 on your birthday."

In an episode of "Friends":

Phoebe: So Chandler, I'd love to come by tonight.
Chandler: Really?
Phoebe: Oh, yes. Should we say around eight?
Chandler: Yes...
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.

Pulp Fiction: "He'd have to be one charming mother-f**king pig."

40-Year-Old Virgin: "Your friend is shiny!"

The Truman Show: "In case I don't see you again, good afternoon, good evening, and good night."

Austin Powers: "Who throws a shoe??"

Originally Posted by O-Ren Ishii in Kill Bill vol. 1

[in Japanese, after she cuts off Boss Tanaka's head:] "So you all will know the seriousness of my warning, I shall say this in English..."

[in, ironically calm and polite English, while smiling:] "As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. " [holds up Tanaka's head]

[growing to an enraged yell:] "Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME!!

Gotta love O-Ren.

[edit: DAMNIT! I just noticed that Bradybaker posted the same quote. Oh well, it's worth quoting twice! ]