Hi
*waves*
I'm still practicing. It's pretty much a lifestyle for me at this point. Something I really want to hone, and sharpen; with each progressive level of honing, I discover newer things I never realized before. It's made life around 20% more awesome. 
Version 1: Listening to a Noisy World.-Currently, each evening I practice for about an hour or more. I enjoy bringing it(practice) to as much aspects of my life as possible. I noticed that at a certain point, sound and sight blend into one, so I just focus on sounds and go with that, they all end up the same in the end anyway, so whateves.
I don't have problems falling asleep so much anymore. It's really a balancing act, I'm still learning, but sometimes I just stay really, really awake, so then I try to increase my relaxation as I'm aiming for that balance as I'm diving deep, so to speak. I haven't posted here in quite a while, lots has happened, and really feel invigorated by my experiences although I don't understand it all, what, how, etc. there is an over-all sense of well-being and satisfaction that occurs irregardless of external circumstances.
Observations-> I've noticed that the listening aspect is so much more than hearing, with time, things got subtler, finer, and integrated or interconnected. I find it so exciting, it's as if there are an infinite amount of layers to life, and with each discovery, there's another deeper/finer layer.
I've found through the listening meditation, I have been able to expedite learning or that learning curve, just by listening and watching internally for a particular sensation/visual like fitting in a groove where learning a technique was compressed exponentially. And when I hit that groove, like whoosh, just absolute effortless learning, an amazing sensation.
I've also noticed that by listening and trying to maintain a balance on subtle & gross sounds, leads to some pretty amazing experiences, and lends more depth to something that would bother me prior, now is freaking awesome and actually has quite a bit of beauty to it; usually I'm just in awe observing. Like a person who is acting like a bully, is actually pretty cool to observe when in a semi-meditative-like state and really put a new perspective on things. I've noticed I tend to do this in "negative" situation, I'm not sure if it's because things are more "intense" so easier to observe or what, but I really would like to have similar experiences in observing say "love" or "positive" interactions between people, but haven't had as much in experiences. 
I've also noticed, that there's this subtle tinnitus-like sound that is ever present, but hard to hear when going about daily business, but once I still my mind, it's there, at the faintest a hum, or buzz, and at the loudest, a jet engine roar. I found it pretty good guide in training, if my mind wanders, sound goes away, when my thoughts quite, it's more pronounced.
In conjunction, I've also noticed particular lights strengthen or brighten as I focus on the sound. Various patterns seem to pop up, like oh, here's the checkerboard pattern; hm, now colors and lines appear; usually it's geometric shapes and colors(spirals, waves, a pointed petal outline, etc), inverting, imploding and revolving. It starts off dark, but eventually, it lights up, I've opened my eyes to see if there is an external source of light, but now have gotten used to it so it's not distracting. But I noticed that one particular light, like a flashlight, a golden glow, I've found by playing around with tuning into the sounds and out, also gets brighter and dimmer. At one point, I thought I had done well during one meditation, I tried to turn my eyes up to see it, but couldn't move my eyes in that direction; then I remembered how I didn't need physical eyes to see, and pushed my consciousness up to check it out. I saw a golden light at the top of my head, when I went towards it, I entered a golden tunnel, I wasn't sitting in meditation anymore, but flying through this tunnel, everything was enveloped in this golden light, I was watching myself from my point of consciousness, I saw how I(form/body-self) was semi-transparent, I saw the source of the light, flew towards it a bit, but didn't know what I was doing, turned around after observing some stuff. So that was unexpected.
Dreamtime stuff->I'm happy with how things are developing. Ultimately, I'd like to LD at will or every night. Currently I'll have periods of high activity, every night/several times per night, and dry periods of one week to a month, I get a bit "itchy"/restless for an LD after about a week or two(especially). I've had some cool lds, which freaked me out at the time, but now have gotten used to such experiences and quite enjoy the freedom it entails. I guess it started with one particular LD, I tried to practice concentration meditation whilist LDing, to cut it short, I ended up watching myself dissolve, I panicked, couldn't wake up, or find my body(I liked to split my consciousness between my sleeping physical body and dream-self just prior for giggles). I felt myself, spin out of control, I lost all sense of space, time; the more I tried to fight it, wake up, get out of the LD, the faster I dissolved, I never felt no time before, nothing like this, I literally thought I died in my sleep.
Eventually, all of my body vaporized, and "I" was still there, but more like I was merged with space itself(I had 360 vision, etc), still no time, but this felt vaguely familiar, and peaceful. Then after a bit, I focused on creating a dream body, I managed to make a finger, then hand, then found my body, yada yada. I actually prefer this state(no body) now when LDing(and during meditation), if I want to feel physical stuff, I'll make a dreambody, use both formless and form, or sometimes, I'll be a single point of consciousness and make hands with arms but no body. I don't like the motion sensation I get from a dreambody so much though, as the movement/sensation of thought is like riding a rollercoaster flying around dreams and all.
Questions->Always, never ending, what? how? why? huh? tips?
Irregardless, thank you.
|
|
Bookmarks