Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Yesterday I had a really interesting conversation with a DC in a non-LD.

Me: There are many bad people in Maine. Please take care of you.

DC: Yeah, sure.

Me: Don't go out at night.

DC: Yes. *really annoyed*

Me: And please call for help if your computer doesn't work. Don't think you can solve the problem by pressing "Ctrl,Alt,Delete". They bad guys will catch you.

From a lucid last night:

So I find a girl, and ask her, "Hey, when am I going to die?" she looks at me, a little perturbed, and replies "soon." I was a little shocked, so said "okay how soon?" To which she responds "In 20 years!" So I asked her why I die and she says "Because you watch too many movies!"

I had a dream where I was on I Love New York 2
She liked me!!!
And her mother approved!!!!!
The only thing was on our date I sang "Mr. Cellophane" from "chicag0"

So in one of my dreams, I was in a shop and saw my friend there. I walked up to her. She was holding a big lollipop. This was our conversation:

Me: Hey! What are you doing?
Friend: I'm buying myself a new mobile phone. (shows me a lollipop)
Me: Umm...it's just a candy.
Friend: No, it's not. It's a mobile.
Me: Erm, no it's not. Can't you see it's a simple candy?
Friend: You're crazy!

That was sooo brainless.

This thread cracks me up!

Man, I haven't had a lucid in a while, and I can't remember any funny sayings.

Infact, I haven't been here in about a year, maybe more. Just wanted to comment on how funny some of these are, and say hello to OpheliaBlue and Burns, and other members that I remember.

Yeah..there are some that cracked me up in here. The more senseless and outrageous the better.

I was getting assaulted by a bunch of assholes I used to know, my parents said to me (ironically it still seems quite true, which is unusual for lessons that come to me in my dreams) "Anyone can learn to hit someone if you just do it"...I didn't like that.

Talking to a DC last night... he just got pummled by a very large woman who could never remember that she knew this guy.

Me: I think she likes you.
Him: yeah, she's done that a couple times now.
Me: *looking at his arm in the sling* Why?
Him: you're guess is as good as mine.

I was at a job interview, and most of the questions are pretty normal, then, out of the blue, the interviewer DC asks:

"In a battle of rattling, do you win?"

Luckily, I had access to a computer, so I google'd the question. Apparently the correct answer was:

"Only if you're wearing a suit of armor."

In the dream I am trying without success to write something...

Unseen DC voice: "It will take a huricane force wind to turn that into words."


Another dream....
1st dream scene: A small group of us are trying to relate humouous situations we have experienced....
2nd dream scene: I have been caught in a traffic radar speed trap exceeding the limit slightly....
Me: "Is there anything i could do about this."
Court official DC: "You could get me a big fat red salmon."

I was walking down a street in a regular (non-lucid) dream, when a man came towards me, shoved a picture in my face and said: "This picture is a fake! The Eiffel Tower doesn't have two guards, it has four!", and then he left...

Originally Posted by Sean999

This thread cracks me up!

Man, I haven't had a lucid in a while, and I can't remember any funny sayings.

Infact, I haven't been here in about a year, maybe more. Just wanted to comment on how funny some of these are, and say hello to OpheliaBlue and Burns, and other members that I remember.

0_o

Do you go to HIH by any chance?

In my dream one of my friends confesed that he had been making out with one of my friend all halloween.

Me: Oh, do you like her?
Him: EWWWW NO!

Originally Posted by Sean999

Infact, I haven't been here in about a year, maybe more. Just wanted to comment on how funny some of these are, and say hello to OpheliaBlue and Burns, and other members that I remember.

Hi Sean!

Originally Posted by Spartiate

I was walking down a street in a regular (non-lucid) dream, when a man came towards me, shoved a picture in my face and said: "This picture is a fake! The Eiffel Tower doesn't have two guards, it has four!", and then he left...

Lmao!!

I walk in to my college dorm room, where my roomate (who is a straight A and morally upright person) is drunk with like 12 girls in the room...the one thing he says to me is

"no, you cant have one" I didnt even ask...

had 2 last night:

First one: (I was supposed to be going to some meeting with a bunch of international bigwigs, and was trying to piece together a suit.)
Vladimir Putin, "I do not have the socks that you requested."

Second one: You know the helicopters that drop water over the wildfires out in California? Well, I was watching a massive helicopter fly over a fire on a hill (here in Athens, GA where we're having a drought), a lot of us were watching it. The helicopter flew right over the fire and when it opened its bay doors, instead of water, thousands of gallons of pure sewage fell into the fire, and someone yells out, "Go, Oklahoma!"

Then the sewage started to heat up and the whole town smelled like burned shit.

In my dreams im usually part of the nonesense too.

-My first DILD after joining this site (i was trying to WILD before just falling asleep)
This happened while filming a park with my DS....
*i turned down the volume*
DC girl: Why did you turn down the volume?
Me: Shhhh I'm trying to concentrate on the filming thats why
Somehow the word "concentrate" reminded me of my failed WILD and i became lucid for one second before waking up.

-This one happened this morning
I was outside in some sort of dream city while it was raining
Me: Dam... it's raining hard
DC:*pointing his clock* It's because of the time change
Me:No wonder...
no lucidity on that one

Originally Posted by Torcher

Second one: You know the helicopters that drop water over the wildfires out in California? Well, I was watching a massive helicopter fly over a fire on a hill (here in Athens, GA where we're having a drought), a lot of us were watching it. The helicopter flew right over the fire and when it opened its bay doors, instead of water, thousands of gallons of pure sewage fell into the fire, and someone yells out, "Go, Oklahoma!"

Then the sewage started to heat up and the whole town smelled like burned shit.

You win at life. That. Was. GREAT. *Dies laughing*

Well I was in school, girls changing room, about to go to PE. 2 other girls from my year were also there. One was in the toilet, other one waiting for her.

Their dialogue:
- "Did you put onion perfume on you?"
Second girl yells from the toilet: "Well of course. A lot of!"

I was like:"Erm...ok...." *leaves*

I once had a dream where I was on a group touring Philadelphia and we stopped to talk to Will Smith (the actor). The tour guide asked everyone it the group to go around and say what was their favorite thing about the city. One guy said Philly cheese steaks. I'll never forget what my DC-Will Smith said:

"I like all the retards."

Young Keanu Reeves, who sought me out after we last parted (we had had a weird conversation and I didn't think I would see him again):

"Here's the thing. I errrr... have a hard-on."

In the first of my few lucid dreams to date, a rather unhappy looking girl sitting up against a building said to me:

"I've lost my beanbags!"

We then walked up the side of the building and found them on the roof.

Amazingly and completely random.

One character was a mother, who's family I had rescued from a sinking car. They invited me to dinner, and as soon as we sat down, she said "Penis discussion time!". Everyone listned up. She continued on, and what she said next was so funny, that I woke up from laughing so hard: "Only two out of the four Wiggles have penis hair."

My Reaction:

-VF

Originally Posted by Magus

-This one happened this morning
I was outside in some sort of dream city while it was raining
Me: Dam... it's raining hard
DC:*pointing his clock* It's because of the time change
Me:No wonder...
no lucidity on that one

I like this one