Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Said to my supervisor: "I know you're kind of an expert in full of crap things, but can I tell you something really full of crap?"

Me, telling someone else how our dilapidated farm with poor soil ended up being saved:

"We became a popular couples' destination for gay black men speed-walking marathoners."

Can you guess who's on a diet?

Waitress to our table: "Here's your beet juice!"
Young guy to me: "You probably ordered only cheese and pepperoni on that pizza, huh?"

In my most recent LD, I encountered Jesus (note: I'm not Christian). We were in a residential neighborhood, and he was repeatedly making some vines grow and un-grow. There were also some bees flying around, and I sent out a telepathic request to Jesus saying "Give me a bee." A bee landed on my finger, and that's when I realized I was dreaming. Immediately after I thought "I wonder what the dream is going to do next," Jesus sprayed me with a hose and I woke up.

"What's the TOTM?"
"Get a mile ahead in your life."

Pffft.

In the dream I was invisible. My dream character asked me if I saw my surprise. I answered with, "Don't worry!! I had my hands over my eyes the whole time!" The dream character said, "Um? But, You can see right through them, though." This is when I said, "I got to go!!"
I got up off my bed and walked full force into the wall. I felt a little dizzy for a second."Duh wah! Idiot! Oh-Um, Err!! Right!" Then this is when I turned intangible and phased through the wall. Then I woke up.

Originally Posted by Intet

Immediately after I thought "I wonder what the dream is going to do next," Jesus sprayed me with a hose and I woke up.

Damn, you're well connected; I get awoken by an alarm clock. You get Jesus himself to do the job!

Me: *is dating Lea Michele* *kisses her*
Lea: *giggles* Did you not brush your teeth? Gosh, your breath *laughs*

I'm not even mad, though. I got to dream!kiss Lea Michele, I'm definitely happy.

Recently I had a dream where my dream self was dreaming I was being slid across this slippery wood floor in a gym on my back, and randomly saying things like "Why are you sliding me?" "Will you please stop sliding me?" "What am I doing over here?" "Am I lucid?" "Am I lucid yet?" and some other random nonsense stuff like that.

Me-"What do you represent? My brain, my muscles...?"
Man-"Maybe i could be something else. Like, feelings for example."

This one was funny as hell. For some reason I was sailing very cold icy seas, like Arctic Ocean. Very desolate and open with Ice burgs. In the distance I see a big piece of floating ice. When I got closer I saw a man sitting on it randomly, with no signs of anyone else, in the middle of the ocean with no possible logical way he could be there, I wanted to rescue him, thinking he was a castaway. When I arrived at the Ice, he started chanting loudly "occupy arctic ice all day all night, occupy arctic ice all day all night" The absurdity of this made me lucid, So I asked him, what?! He told me this ice is all we have left, then continued his chant. I sailed on and said to myself mid dream, I am posting this on dreamviews DCs say the darnedest things forum.

I recall a Dream Character saying something like: "Mud, Mud everywhere, even on your million dollar derriere!!"

Pilot to a young girl: “I’m sorry, but I have to crash us extra hard.”

"If you're wondering why I'm laughing, it's because I'm currently watching a video of a guy making fun of me, while he has a slide whistle up his butt making it go 'woooOOOOoooo'." - Dan from Game Grumps

Thankfully I didn't see the video...

I remember that I had a dream that I was congratulating AstralMango for becoming a Dream Guide again but, some Dream Character in my dream kept asking me, "Who?? Astral kumquat??" I'm like, "No! It's AstralMango!"

DC: Will you take a picture of me here next to your stuff?
Me: OK...
DC: HAH! NEVER take a picture of anybody with your stuff, or they might claim it as their own!
Me: ......

I had a dream where I said to some of the Dream Characters, "Pardon me while I take my head off!" I removed my mask from my body. They couldn't see my face because there was nothing there underneath. The Dream Character's reaction was priceless. One fainted while another screamed and ran full force into a wall.

"Now you're going to fix these cars with giant tools and make it so fat people can ride in them"

dream from two nights ago where some random white trash dude ran up on me out of nowhere and tazed me with a metal pole when i was looking at a bunch of homeless children coming out of laundry chutes connected to a house and laying underneath a porch deck and some awnings, all crawling out of the wood work as if from nowhere. i felt like i was floating and buzzing/vibrating (and also seemed to lose my body, I was just a vibrating cloud for a lack of a better description) and could barely move, another dude that was with the guy walked up beside me and that's when he told me that i was going to fix the cars with giant tools and make them so fat people can ride in them.

This was one of my more coherent dreams, despite it sounding kind of random. Trust me on that. It was one of the only dreams that I've had in over 6 years that felt like real life when I was dreaming it. I was thinking and remembering during the dream too. I think it had something to do with the fact that I took another one of my vyvanse (it's metabolized in the body into dextro-amphetamine) just before falling asleep. It takes 2 hours for it to hit me, so I figured I'd wake up after that 2 hours had passed, but instead I slept for another 6 or 7 hours until 9 am. I had a few of these realistic dreams that night, actually. Was a pretty cool experience.

Hi,I over heard my husband once on the phone he was cheating on me at the time he was talking with his brother and his brother was telling him that he was a fool cheating on a beautiful woman and his answer flabbergasted me ,
I'm tired of eating lobster I want to taste sardines!!!

Someone told me it would take 2 years to cross a bridge just by walking.

"WHY ARE PEOPLE LIVING IN FRUIT? HOW IS THERE PERPETUAL MOTION? WHY IS SATURN COMING OVER? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CREATE AND LIVE IN THIS MADNESS? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" [Explodes in a miniature nuclear explosion]

-My Dream Dad

Girl to me: "Tell me things to turn me on..."
Me: "I love every part of your body!"
Girl: "Even the poopy parts?"

"Mix it into a mess of white and then call it brown."

"So, as you all know, the redistribution of legos is very important to the school's budget."