Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

“To some people life says 5 and to some 6.”

Here's some of the weirdest things I've heard in my weird dreams before... (This post may cause you to start laughing uncontrollably):

Dream #1

That one where I'm in a cafeteria with a television placed way up high

An 80s-style Alvin is on the television screen, pointing his finger out at someone:

"You're sti-ill he-ere! Na-na-na-na-na!"

Dream #2

When some critters and I were headed downtown via a state route, then we come up to a park and one of the critters wanted to stay behind...but then that critter says something about being lonely over there

Dream #3

During a combination history/Spanish class in which a snake is jumping up and down on the classroom screen while wearing a sombrero, I say this to the teacher:

"I need to check my schedule."

Teacher lets me go, then I'm wandering about the hallways

Dream #4

When I'm visiting one of my former schools and then suddenly, I've turned into my former young self!

My former resource room teacher walks up to me, looks at me, and then doesn't recognize me:

"Who are you? I've never seen you here before!"

I try to tell her what happened, but nothing comes out

Dream #5

I'm shopping at a giant mall-like setting, obviously shopping for clothes (and one of the bathrooms there is marked with "Baby")

Casper the Friendly Ghost is seen over at one of the clothing sections of the store (er...mall) I'm in, holding up some kind of a booklet with a bunch of random names listed in the pages:

"I'm next."

Dream #6

When me and some of the Toy Story gang are watching a recorded game show, then I see the words "Mr. Incredible" come up on the screen:

"Easter egg! Easter egg!"

Dream #7

Emmet is falling down on his own two feet:

"I think I'm getting black-hole drowsiness."

Dream #8

I'm running around the yard and a woodchuck trying on giant colored horseshoes looks up at me with a bored voice:

"What?"

Dream #9

Me and another person running in opposite directions in the church hallways downstairs

As I'm running, I hear the other person yelling this:

"Help me! I'm being chased by a robot!"

I don't hear any mechanical beeps or whirs

Dream #10

Me jumping off of a roller coaster ride, with a bag of potato chips in my hand...then I find myself in my own hallway:

"Clam chow!"

Dream #11

The general from Monsters vs. Aliens tells all 5 of the monsters to "get back in their cells":

"I still hope someone can donate these monsters to Sunnyside."

Dream #12

A ghostly tail is floating around an arcade-like room with King Candy's face:

"What are you doing in here?"

Dream #13

I'm sitting in the bathroom, starting at the piles of laundry in and around the bathtub, then I hear this faint voice which randomly said:

"America has gone germ-a-phobic in the last few decades...is it any wonder why we see an increase in testing and a decrease in laundry?"

Dream #14

I'm walking around a random building somewhere...then I see Mater, who is singing a made-up song about the elevators there (Does this count?)

Dream #15

I'm sleeping in mom's bed with my mom (In real life I sleep in my own bed with my plush WALL-E)

"This is only a dream...this is all just a dream..."

Clone of my mom in day clothes comes in and starts lecturing me about some random stuff I couldn't understand

*Oh me gosh I think I'm lucid!

Oops! Almost forgot to mention these other ones:

Me walking into my kitchen after logging off of my desktop:

"I wonder what's there to eat...within my subconscious."

I look at a piece of paper and write this down next to "College of Graduation", which had "Sandy" written next to it:

"I did not go to college." (Does this count, too?)

I randomly push a chimney-like voice button on a Thomas the Tank Engine-type toy train and I hear a "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!"

Okay...I think I've said enough.

--PixCaliTropic

"You might have what is called ver-Johnsoning."

What???

This DC went for a triple k-k-kombo.

"Young dreamer, I have three questions for you: Number one: Will you turn into a girl and make me younger so we can have sex? Also, I want to have it in your bedroom because it won't matter if we make a mess."

"No."

"Number two: What is more important when playing a sonic the hedgehog stage? Getting an S ranking or getting all the rings?"

"I don't know."

"Number three: (Taking a small waffle press out of his briefcase and plugging it into an outlet on the interior wall of the bus.) If I put three fingers in my portable waffle maker, how much delta-V will I have left over?"

"What??"

Originally Posted by JadeGreen

This DC went for a triple k-k-kombo.

"Young dreamer, I have three questions for you: Number one: Will you turn into a girl and make me younger so we can have sex? Also, I want to have it in your bedroom because it won't matter if we make a mess."

This is pretty much the greatest thing ever.

"There is too much water in this rain." "I can fly but only when I'm a fly." "Black holes, have a stoplight that's why the lights never get out"

Originally Posted by pointofbeing

"Black holes, have a stoplight that's why the lights never get out"

Ohhhh...so you, too, had a crazy black hole quote in one of your dreams...

Ya, it was like a profound revelation type dream. The "scientist" went on to tell me all things that ever go into the black hole wait forever at the stoplight before creating a new big bang at it's singularity when it goes green. I didn't know they made intergalactic stoplights. Guess I watched Hitchhikers guide a few too many times.

DC, exasperated: "Chemists! Once they realize the power of the molecular model, they think it is the answer to every problem!"

Me, exasperated to cashier: "So, if I bought toothpicks for $1 and a fork for $2, you'd charge me more than $3?!"

A DC was complaining about his situation to The Doctor. He responds, "Why are you coming to me with your problems, I'm not a doctor!"

I don't watch enough Doctor Who to know if that's an actual line from the show, but it sounds like something he'd say...

I had a dream that some guy who looks like Grant Shaud (who played as Miles Silverberg in Murphy Brown), hijacked a plane and said that he had a bomb on board. I remember grabbing him by the shirt's collar and before I hit him, he said, "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now would you?"
I punched him in the face, knocking him out anyways.

"Really? I'm going to heaven just because I followed Jesus on Facebook?"

Originally Posted by Lauraw

"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now would you?"

I thought that was supposed to be a common phrase? 'Cause I heard it on Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel plus I also heard it on Wreck-it Ralph...

I got another one from last night!

--> I'm in a setting that's completely made of wood, and the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland was there. <--

*Someone asks him a question about whether or not he ever actually feels tired:

Cheshire Cat: "I don't get brain freeze. Ever!"

"If you damn Germans drink all the Busch one more time...!!"

Originally Posted by PixCaliTropic

I got another one from last night!

--> I'm in a setting that's completely made of wood, and the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland was there. <--

*Someone asks him a question about whether or not he ever actually feels tired:

Cheshire Cat: "I don't get brain freeze. Ever!"

I met him in a non lucid once! Did you post the whole dream? He showed me a cool way to change dimensions.

Originally Posted by Sensei

I met him in a non lucid once! Did you post the whole dream? He showed me a cool way to change dimensions.

Not in my dream journal, no not yet. You saw that one from the classic Disney animated version of the film too, right? 'Cause that was the one I saw. (I grew up watching a bunch of those on VHS...)

Originally Posted by PixCaliTropic

Not in my dream journal, no not yet. You saw that one from the classic Disney animated version of the film too, right? 'Cause that was the one I saw. (I grew up watching a bunch of those on VHS...)

Haha. Yep. It was awesome. I need to use that to teleport some time. Pretty fun.

Attendee of an obscene banquet/orgy asking the manager: "Can you make the mashed potatoes thicker, please?"

Guy and a girl dipping another girl into a series of pools, every time the girl gets dipped someone says:

(first pool) Guy: "Toxic!"
(next pool) Girl #1: "Toxic!"
(next pool) Girl #2: "Toxic!"

Had a dream about having a discussion about how to make my own Essential Oils. Essential oils are used for charging candles and such for spell apparently.

"We can kiss an orb to the end."

A young woman and I were talking in a room when we realized Darth Vader was passed out drunk on the floor. As he woke up, the girl held the top part of his helmet in one hand while pointing her other finger menacingly at his face. Stumbling to his feet, Darth said, "You should turn, bi***." It soon became clear that the woman's parents had paid Darth Vader to march around the house beating a drum with kitchen spoons while chanting "You're dead, dead, dead, dead..."

I ask some people (at a balloon inflating/decoration company) where to put the junk I'm holding.
A guy says:

"File it under Lady Gaga, because nobody goes there."

The other night I had this bizarre dream where someone told me to put my TV dinner into a toaster, and I have to tell them that TV dinners can only go in the microwave...then someone else tried to put my other TV dinner into a dishwasher and I have to mess with the controls to try and get it out.