I was working in a video game store with a coworker when a mom and her pre-teen son walk in.

I hear her whisper, "Which of the two would you have sex with?" Referring to me or my coworker.
"Let me see," he says all cocky.

I turn around, and the boy laughs at me, "Not that one! Definitely not that one!"

I grabbed him around his throat and proceeded to defend my honor by slicing at his jugular with my car keys.