Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

In a dream this morning, I thought I heard what sounded like John Lennon's voice coming out of nowhere and saying something like:

"If you move every church in the world, you'll only move one mouse. The best way to move a mouse is to have a nudist house, because a nudist house is a mobile house."

DC: We're already plumbing the depths of love and hate in this relationship.

I was in heavy pursuit of a particularly elusive DC, when I met a group of children:

I: Where is [name]?

Little DC girl, pointing: Over there! She has no face!

*After stabbing a poor man in his heart, causing blood to gush everywhere*
Me: Sorry about that!

3 guys (one who is Will Ferrell) are trying to operate office equipment working with paper (printers, etc.) under water in a massive swimming-pool living room (bought with the $40,000 that the owner got from selling his dead mother's Olympic swimming bronze medal [I had just banished her ghost with the sign of the cross BTW ]). I think it must be hard to operate office equipment under water, and a voice says:

"it takes a hard man to do a hard job."

Late morning dream: I'm hanging around with some college student girls (3), and a voice says "don't run with the buffalo" (with the meaning that you shouldn't hang out with people who are below your station and just want to gain the status of being with you).

Originally Posted by FryingMan

"don't run with the buffalo"

I like it

After a friend knocked my burrito off of my plate on to the restaurant booth seat, I'm reaching for it but I don't want to eat it now, saying "That's where all the skanky ho's sit!"

Originally Posted by FryingMan

Late morning dream: I'm hanging around with some college student girls (3), and a voice says "don't run with the buffalo" (with the meaning that you shouldn't hang out with people who are below your station and just want to gain the status of being with you).

I like how you always know what things mean in dreams. It is hilarious. They will say something ridiculous and you automatically know. love dreams.

This is from a dream I had a month or so ago, and I can't believe I didn't think to post this one!

DC 1:"Did you order some cats sir?"
DC 2: "What the fuck am I supposed to do with all of these cats?!"
DC 1: "Fine, I'll take them back..."

Poor Greg never did sell those cats that day.

I'm on a step ladder hardly trying to find my mailbox in a "populated" wall when I woman comes out from a room behind me with my kids:

DC woman: Hello!
Me (looking down to her): Hi, I'm looking for our mailbox... (I have deja vu when my kids start playing catch) Wait! I have dream this before!! Although in the dream they (pointing to my kids) were not my kids... (I'm about to explain how I got there, etc.)
DC woman: That's interesting. Would you like to buy some cooking oil for your secretary?
Me: Sorry, I don't have any secretary.
DC woman: Great! Then you can keep it for yourself! (and we start laughing)
Me (Following the woman to the room): Is it olive oil? (Thinking I would buy it just if it's olive oil)

Dream passed away...

A DC ran up to me while I was walking down the street and handed me a "pamphlet" written on computer paper in sharpie for a revolutionary movement called Operation Dick Sleep.

Curious, I read the first sentence in the pamphlet: "There's something reassuring about the idea of dick sleep --"

I threw it away.

+ DC tells me her name is "Gippie"

+ Wife tells me "You know I love you dearly but when we were making love earlier you farted and it so startled the priest that he didn't know what to do so he left."

+ In a donut shop my parents tell me they're "donut vegetarians" (meaning they eat the fruit in the shop but not the donuts).

Whilst trying to destroy a drum stick in a bathroom by hitting it on the mirror, i suddenly see a message written on the mirror:

"ya'll need to stop messing around, I'm very educated" (something along those lines)

Originally Posted by Rodrodrod

Whilst trying to destroy a drum stick in a bathroom by hitting it on the mirror, i suddenly see a message written on the mirror:

"ya'll need to stop messing around, I'm very educated" (something along those lines)

Mirrors need representation! Say "no" to mirror abuse!

Friend: "I was like: Wassup my n****s?"
2 Black Men: *Turn and look at friend*
Me(In my mind): The awkward level just got over 9000 here.

Was at Hogwarts with my friends and before we get sorted, McGonagall asks this to everyone in the Great Hall. When I woke up I almost pissed myself laughing.

"Okay, who here took a shit in the ancient toilet last year?"

Half the students raised their hands.

Originally Posted by tinyfish

"Okay, who here took a shit in the ancient toilet last year?"

"Quick, jump in my handbag to breathe in Tumblr!"

"...What?"

I'm looking for lunch at an outdoor company event, I approach the lunch tables set up. There are other people standing there. I see there are only little pieces of sliced chocolates. I exclaim in frustration, "Oh, God, fucking SLICED CANDY for lunch!???!!"

Observing a cancan dancing party where the woman are stripping and one guy crawls out from underneath a woman's skirts, I'm standing across the room from this and another guy asks me something like "with all your super powers, are you able to avoid getting a hard-on with all this going on?"

I am doing something in a dream and I decide to kiss a DC gal. She looks up at me and says:
"You shouldn't kiss me, I eat my own poop."

Scarred for life. Why DC, why?

Originally Posted by BrandonBoss

I am doing something in a dream and I decide to kiss a DC gal. She looks up at me and says:
"You shouldn't kiss me, I eat my own poop."

Scarred for life. Why DC, why?

Just whip out some infinitely powerful listerine!

A DC was giving me important information and my dream started to fade away, as it happened many times before:

Me-"Damn. Here we go again. Everytime i someone is talking important stuff, my dream starts to fade."
DC-"If you use all your 5 senses, the dream will not go away."

Good tip.